Cupcakes; The Final Battle
The sun shone bright on this fine summer day. Birds swooped in between the tree branches as their melodies drifted through the ears of all living creatures. Bunnies hopped through the green meadows as bees and butterflies fluttered from flower to flower. Woodland creatures were all out of their homes as they played happily in the woods. Even the creatures of the Everfree forest were relaxing in what little sunlight could get through the thick leafed trees that stood taller than buildings. Equestria was peaceful as ponies lounged around in the sun and the fillies and colts danced around in the blossom of the trees. Ponies happily chatted away under the sun that Celestia had risen so high today.
Even Twilight Sparkle had taken a moment to get her head out of her books and take a walk outside. With Spike comfortably perched on her back, she trotted out to Carousel Boutique to see what her friend Rarity was doing on this fine day. Twilight reached the door and knocked.
"Rarity? Are you home?" There was no answer as Twilight knocked again. She must be out already, Twilight thought to herself. She peaked through the window. The place was extremely tidy, which was unusual for Rarity y, as she always seemed to have materials everywhere. There wasn't even any sowing equipment out and all the cupboard doors looked like they were locked.
"Maybe she's gone out already with one of our friends? She's probably at Fluttershy's house."
"I guess so, come on then Spike, this beautiful day won't last forever, and we need to enjoy it with our friends while it lasts." Spike hopped away from the window and back onto Twilight's back. They headed off towards Fluttershy's house on the edge of Ponyville.
"Don't you think it's weird we haven't been crashed into my Rainbow Dash yet?" Spike looked around at the cloudless sky. "On a day like this, surely she'd be practicing her stunts."
Twilight stopped and looked around. "True, but maybe she's relaxing instead. I'm guessing with her speed, she's the Pegasus who cleared most of the clouds."
Twilight and Spike arrived at Fluttershy's house some time later to find Fluttershy humming away in her garden as she watered her flowers. She instantly noticed Twilight's arrival.
"Oh, hello Twilight! It's such a beautiful day today isn't it? My flowers are in full bloom, and it's so wonderful to see all the animals out playing."
"Yes it is, is Rarity round here?"
"Rarity? No she isn't. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her at all in a couple of days. Maybe she's got a big order she needs to focus on."
"I went to her house and she wasn't there. It looked like the place was completely empty. Maybe she is at Applejacks?"
"Maybe." Twilight didn't see any reason for Rarity to be at Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity hated dirt and the idea of farm work disgusted her. But she thought she might as well go to see if she could gather anything from AJ.
"Hey Twilight, when are we gonna actually do any relaxing?" Spike was getting bored trotting around Ponyville.
"Soon Spike, I just want to find Rarity first."
Sweet Apple Acres came into sight and Twilight could see the scruffy orange pony wandering the apple fields.
"Applejack!" Twilight shouted across the field. Her friend instantly acknowledged her and setting down her basket she cantered across the field.
"Yeehaw! Ah bet that run was one for the records. So what can I do for ya Twilight?"
"Hey AJ, I was just wondering if you've seen Rarity at all today."
Applejack set her hat forward to shield her eyes from the sun. "Nope, can't say I have sugar cube. To be mighty honest, Ah ain't seen that girl round here in a while. Can't help ya there Twilight, sorry."
"No worries. Any ideas where she might be?" Concern was rising on Twilight's face. It was strange that Carousel Boutique was so quiet and organised, and now nopony knew where Rarity was.
"Well if ah were you, I would be checking round the main town area, she might be out shopping for some supplies."
Oh course! The town centre, she didn't think of that.
"Thanks AJ, don't strain yourself too hard working on a hot day like this!"
"Don't you worry 'bout that Twilight. Say hi to Rarity for me when ya find her." With that Twilight cantered off, Spike barely staying on because of her unexpected run. He managed to grab a piece of mane and pull himself upright.
"What's the rush Twilight?"
"I'm worried; it isn't like Rarity not to be with her friends on a day like this. And her house to be so empty."
Twilight cantered into the town centre, almost knocking several ponies over.
"Sorry excuse me, excuse me." Twilight had cantered round nearly everywhere, and there was still no sign of Rarity. Twilight stopped to catch her breath.
"Maybe we should ask Pinkie Pie? She might know where she is."
"I guess it's our only hope, finding Rainbow won't be easy. Come on, let's go." The two trailed off to Sugar Cube Corner. Upon entering they were greeted by their wide-eyed, hyperactive friend.
"Twilight! Spike! Heya guys! What brings you round here?"
"Hey Pinkie, we were just wondering, have you seen Rarity lately? Nopony seems to know where she is."
Pinkie glanced quickly at the tray of cupcakes lying on the counter.
"Hmm…nope, haven't seen her either. I saw her a few days ago, but not recently."
Twilight sighed. "Well, thanks anyway Pinkie. Well come on then Spike, let's go enjoy the sunshine while it lasts." As Twilight was just about to step out the door she got knocked to the floor.
"Oops! Sorry Twilight!" Twilight got up to see a cross eyed pony staring half in her direction.
"No worries Derpy." Spike hopped back on Twilight's back and they trotted out the store.
"Derpy! My favourite muffin customer! How can I help you today?"
"I was wondering if I could use your kitchen, my oven blew up last night. I think it must have been a bit old or something." Derpy erased the thought of the giant muffin she tried baking last night by kicking it in the oven to make it fit.
"Of course you can Derps! It's just right over there!"
"Thanks Pinkie! I won't be too long." Derpy stumbled over to the kitchen and got to work. Pinkie watched as Derpy emptied out her ingredients from her saddle bag onto the counter. Thoughts whirled round Pinkie's head. 'I wonder what Derpy would taste like. I do sure hope her number comes up soon. I could attempt to get her now…but that would mess up the system. Patience Pinkie, patience.' Pinkie waited till Derpy wasn't looking and quickly shot down the basement door.
Pinkie loved being down in her cupcake making basement. She turned the lights on and bounced around.
"Why hello Dashie! Lovely weather we are having!" Pinkie grabbed the well stuffed Rainbow Dash and moved her mouth.
"Why, like, totally Pinkie Pie! And it's so awesome I get to spend it with my best friend!"
Pinkie resumed to her normal accent again. "Oh Dashie, you are too kind." She giggled an evil giggle before she remembered Derpy being upstairs. She quickly shot up the stairs and out of the basement door – perhaps a bit too fast. When she emerged, Derpy was stood only a few feet away.
"Cool Pinkie, I didn't know you had a basement. What's down there?"
"Uh it's just…" Before Pinkie had a chance to answer Derpy cut in.
"Oh, I know, it's where you keep the extra supplies! Oh course, duh, I can be such a blonde pony sometimes, a tip top baker like you always needs to have some extra supplies ready." Derpy giggled and got back to making her muffins. Pinkie breathed out and trotted into the room next door. It was a relief that her most regular customer was dumb.
"Hey Pinkie!" Derpy called out. The pink pony's head popped out from around the corner. "I finished my muffins, thank you for letting me use your kitchen."
Pinkie bounded in and looked at the tray. "Wow Derpy, those look delicious!"
"You wanna try one? I made a bit too many."
"Sure." Pinkie grabbed the muffin, flipped it into the air and caught it in her mouth, munching away on it whole.
"Wow! This is really delish!" Pinkie said it between mouthfuls of it.
"I'm really glad you liked it Pinkie Pie. It's always better to have something yummy to eat before you die isn't it?"
Pinkie stopped chewing. Derpy just sounded so different. "What do you mean Der-" Pinkie's head felt heavy. She got dizzy and started stumbling around. The last thing she saw was Derpy grinning before she fell to the floor and everything went black.
Pinkie awoke to a familiar smell. Her head still felt heavy as she recalled what happened. She sniffed. She knew this smell. It was the smell of her basement. Had I fell down here when I fainted? Pinkie Pie wondered. The lights were on, but only dimly. Pinkie couldn't see as far as the back of the room. She went to move to make the lights brighter but she couldn't. She pulled her legs but they were stuck to something. She looked and saw she was strapped to a rack of planks, being held there by a taut leather strap. Her heart started racing. The eating of the cupcake, the dark room and being strapped to her board in her basement. It was all so familiar. Except this time, she was the victim. Thoughts rushed around her head. How did anyone find her hideout? Who would do such a thing to her? Why did Derpy say what she said? Surely she didn't…
"Well well well, if it isn't Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie." The voice was all too familiar.
"Derpy? Is that you?" From the shadows, a sinister looking Derpy emerged. But there was something different about her. She had and armoured dress on, as dark as the night sky and a mask covered her face. Pinkie's heart started racing.
"Derpy…what are you doing, how did you-" Derpy cut her off.
"Allow me to explain Pinkie." Derpy sounded the same, but her voice spoke with an unnoticed confidence and mystery. "I know what you've been up to Pinkie. I know you've been baking ponies into cupcakes. I had my suspicions from the very beginning, when the first ponies started going missing. Then when Rainbow Dash disappeared, it all became clear. All the clues pointed to just one pony." Derpy fixed her glare on Pinkie.
"This isn't possible. How could you possibly know all of this? I kept myself so top secret, I acted like I was as clueless as everybody else. How could a simple mail pony like you figure this out?"
Derpy laughed. But not her usual light and fluffy laugh, a deep, darkened laugh. "You could say a simple mail pony…or…you could say Celestia's top secret agent…"
"Celestia's what?"
"Oh Pinkie, just like everybody else, you always were easily deceived. When I was born, the princess sensed an unusual power in me. She took me in and gave the top training one could hope to receive for surviving in this world. When I had proven myself worthy enough, she made me her personal spy. I'm always keeping an eye on everything that goes on. But of course, I couldn't make it obvious who I was. So I had to go under cover. That is where Ditsy Doo came in. That cross eyed ditz-of-a-mail-pony. Do you think I go cross eyed because I can't control it? Do you think I purposely go the wrong way to get the birds every winter wrap-up? Face it Pinkamena, you've been outsmarted."
Pinkie's mouth was hanging. She couldn't believe anything Derpy had just told her. She couldn't think of anything to say. Her mane drooped down beside her. Derpy rummaged around at the back before coming forward with a cart of tools.
"Just a common earth pony I see." Derpy sighed. "Not nearly as fun, but I guess I can make it work."
"W…what are you going to do to me?" Pinkie's breathing got faster and she started to sweat.
"Well, you've been doing this to ponies for a while. Maybe you'd like to see what it feels like…" Derpy swung round, scalpel in hand and grinned smugly.
"No! Derpy you can't! Please no! I'll do anything! Throw me in prison, make me your slave but please don't kill me!"
"I'm sorry Pinkie. This is my only option as the princess's secret agent. Maybe if I was somepony else, but I'm not."
"The princess wouldn't approve of this!"
"Oh wouldn't she now…" Derpy laughed her sinister laugh again. From the shadows emerged a tall white figure, mane and tail flowing behind her.
"P…p…princess?" Pinkie stuttered at what she saw.
"Hello Pinkie Pie. Nice seeing you again. I see you've met my agent."
"You can't do this to me…you're the princess!"
"Yes, indeed I am, and it is my job as a princess to ensure that all my ponies are safe. We can't have a mad killer going round on the loose now can we?"
"Please Celestia, don't kill me. I promise I won't kill anymore ponies, I swear!"
Princess Celestia walked up close to Pinkie and whispered in her ear, "I don't think we can take that risk now can we?" Pinkie flinched at the words.
"Do what you have to Derpy. I want her to feel what she has been dishing out." With that, the princess's horn glowed and she vanished from the room.
"Why so shocked Pinkie? Ponies aren't always what they appear to be. I suppose you know all about that."
Derpy continued rummaging about in the tool cart. "You got some interesting stuff in here Pinkie. Not as vicious as the tools in the castle but I suppose they'll have to do."
Pinkie lied there, helpless. She never thought it would come to this. She never dreamt it would happen. She bit the skin next on her shoulders, hoping she could wake up from this horrible dream.
"Now now Pinkie, let's leave the pain for ol' Derpy to inflict." Derpy came at Pinkie, scalpel in hoof.
"That's a pretty cutie mark you got there. It would make a great party decoration."
"No Derpy please."
"Too late!" Derpy started cutting around the cutie mark. She made the line deep and cut slowly, making the pain last longer. Pinkie felt faint at the sight of blood dripping from the lines around her cutie mark and falling onto the floor, covering the dried blood stains from pinkie's last victim. Even thought she saw this sort of thing all the time, it felt so different knowing that the blood was coming from her. Pinkie screamed out in pain. Now she knew what those ponies felt every time she did this. And she thought they were over exaggerating.
"Don't feel too good does it Pinkie?" Derpy had finished cutting round the cutie mark on her right flank and worked her way round to the left side. The cold air against her bare flank sent pain shooting through her body as more blood trickled out and down her leg, staining her bright pink coat. The pain doubled as Derpy started her way around her left cutie mark. Pinkie screamed again.
"Oh hush now Pinkie, you are making such a racket. How do you like my new party decorations?" Derpy held up her bloody cutie marks and waved them about. Pinkie felt like she was going to be sick.
"What should we do next? You don't have wings or a horn, boring, but let's not focus on the negative here." Pinkie could only watch in despair as Derpy threw the cutie marks aside and went back to the cart. She pulled out a medium length dagger. The glint of the dagger seemed to match the one in Derpy's eyes. Derpy wandered back over and started playing with Pinkie's mane, dagger in mouth.
"Your mane is so bouncy and full of volume. Well at least it would be if you stopped being so depressed. I bet you are proud of it." Pinkie didn't answer. Her mouth was frozen shut as she felt dizzy from the blood loss of her flanks. A ripping sound awoke her from her trance.
"Bouncy bouncy." Derpy came skipping round to the front of her, mane in mouth. "Such a pretty pink your mane is. But you don't have to worry about it anymore." Derpy put Pinkie's mane on her head. "Do you like my new hairstyle? It's custom made." She giggled her light and fluffy giggle. "Oh Rarity, she always was one confused by my ways. But she was an excellent fashion designer I'll give you that. Poor Twilight didn't even know she was in the same room as her earlier today. What's matter Pinkie, cat got your tongue?"
Pinkie stared at her. She didn't know what to say or do. She felt as helpless as every one of her clients. Her eyelids where getting heavy.
"Pinkie, don't go dropping on me yet, we aren't even at the best part yet." She dived for the bottom of the tools trolley, almost knocking it over. "I figured you would have these." Derpy stabbed the needle inside Pinkie, sending a shock of pain and adrenaline inside her. Blood dripped slowly out of the hole that the needle had pierced. Another ripping sound soon followed, along with a piercing pain in Pinkie's backside. She hollered again, tears forming in her eyes.
"Wow your tail muscle is a lot stronger than I thought. Must be from all that twitchy tail stuff." Derpy shoved Pinkie's tail in front of her face. Pinkie couldn't take it; she threw up all over the floor. Derpy jumped back.
"Eww Pinkie…guess Rarity doesn't really agree with you huh? No need to worry, you won't be eating cupcakes anymore."
"Please stop…" Pinkie's voice was weak. Blood mixed with her tears and vomit on the hard wood floor. Derpy pretended a sorrowful look.
"Don't worry Pinkie, I'm not like you, I get my patients over and done with quite fast. You'll be surprised what some of the greatest criminals in Equestria think they can get away with." Derpy pulled an axe from the kart. Pinkie didn't even remember having that in there.
"Pinkie?"
"Yes?"
"Do you like your legs?" Derpy's eye gleamed.
"You wouldn't!"
Pinkie let out a blood curling scream as the blade of the axe came down on her right foreleg. Blood spurted out, covering the floor and walls and spraying Derpy. Then, as quick as flash, Derpy brought the axe straight down from Pinkie's throat to her stomach. Blood and guts flushed from her body, turning it a pale pink in colour, staining the floor below. Derpy knew Pinkie was about to go.
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it? Goodbye Pinkie." In her last few seconds with Pinkie, Derpy lifted up Pinkie's chin up and kissed her. For those few seconds, Pinkie lost feeling of all pain in her body as the pleasure of this rocketed through her. She had one last look into Derpy's eyes.
And then she was gone.
Derpy stood back. The killer had been stopped. Derpy looked sorrowful at the bodies of the ponies she hadn't been able to save, but she knew timing was such a great thing to consider with a job like this. If she had attempted to strike too early, things might have gone much different. She stood proud nonetheless; she had served the princess and saved ponies of the future Ponyville. She looked at Pinkie's three-legged hanging body and pulled out a radio device to the princess.
"Come in princess, the killer is down."
A soft reply spoke back. "Thank you Derpy. You have successfully completed a dangerous mission once again. I would have the folks of Ponyville congratulate you if I didn't need to keep you top secret."
"The honour of being your agent is congratulations enough."
Derpy slowly lifted the cellar door, relieved to find Sugar Cube Corner empty; she quickly changed back into her mail suit and resumed her usual cross eyed look. She darted out of the shop and behind the bush, making sure the coast was clear before stumbling out and getting back to her mail round.