[Our story begins begins with Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking through the woods with Harry holding a stick while Ron is crawling and sniffing on the ground then stops and gasps.]
Ron: [stands up and blocks Harry and Hermione's path.] Our path is blocked!
Harry: [approaches a tumbleweed] Stand back, guys. Leave this one to the wizard. Lo siento mi amor-o![Whacks the tumbleweed with the stick several times and slows down and stops] That one was just a scout! The other bushes will be looking for him.
Hermione: Why did we have to walk through the woods? There's a sidewalk. [Looks at side while cars are driving]
Harry: Fool of an elf! [Winks while moving his other eye left and right] That's exactly what eyeball would expect us to do. Our path may be treacherous, but the Pizza Swamp is [Moves arm quickly upward] worth it!
Hermione: Okay. [Pretends shooting a bow and arrow twice]
[Shout in distance]
[Kids finally find Pizza Swamp]
Harry: Here it is - The dreaded Pizza Swamp, [Pizza Swamp arcade comes into view] the most dangerous part of our journey!
[The gang goes into Pizza Swamp]
Harry: Whoa! [Kids are seen running and playing] Look at all these games! Free for the playing.
[Many games are shown on-screen. One game says and repeats "Insert Coin!"]
Harry: Let's go pick out our prizes!
Hermione: [Laughs]
[Harry and Ron go pick out their prizes]
Hermione: Wait. Really? Harry, if you pick out your prizes now, you're setting yourself up for dissapoi - [spots a lazer pointer] Oh, my gosh! they have a lazer pointer? That is actually really cool!
Harry: Man, I want that disco ball!
[Clank]
Harry: Really?
[Draco plays a dinosaur shooting game. Dinosaurs are screaming]
Draco: Yeah, it's super-easy. All you have to do is shoot 'em in the mouth. It's not even hard.
[Dinosaur comes out of refrigerator and screams]
Game voice: Game over. Continue?
Draco: What!? Man, these games are so glitchy [Gives a $20 bill to Goyle, who takes it to a token machine] [Spots Harry and his friends] Oh, great. Look. Here comes the dork parade.
Harry: Oh, hey, Draco. How's it going, buddy?
Draco: [Scoffs] Whatever.
[Goyle inserts a 20 dollar bill in an exchanger, grabs lots of coins, runs and chuckles]
Ron: Are we gonna play for tickets or can we play the fun games?
Harry: Oh, Ron. All games will be played and prizes won because I got a fresh $20 dollar bill right in my back pocket.
[Ron and Hermione's lip opens.]
Harry: Right... around... here. [Clarence grunts, his hand go to his pocket, and it's empty] Guys, don't get mad, but I left my money at home.
Ron and Hermione: Aw, Harry.
Harry: Oh. Wait a minute. I forgot about my wizard dollar in my wizard shoe. [Takes off his shoe and pulls out a $1 dollar bill] Gotcha! [Harry inserts the $1 dollar bill and gets 4 coins] Okay, one for the elfling. [Gives a coin to Hermione] One for the gnome. [Gives a coin to Ron] And one for the wizard. [Hands flips around up] And... I guess we don't need this one. [Throws a coin]
Hermione: [Gasps.] Harry, no!
[Kids screaming and giggling to get a coin.]
Ron: Well, if we only get one game, I'm gonna make it count.
Harry: That's the right spirit. I hereby command that, even though we only have one token each, we will have the greatest day in all of the pizza swamp!
Draco: [Chortling] Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, I'm sure you will. [Laughs]
Harry: Okay, guys, let's split up.
[Donk!; Harry butts Ron's head]
Hermione: No, no, Harry. No.
[Donk!; does the same to Hermione]
[Harry and Ron run away]
Hermione: Ow. Okay, okay. There's got to be a game here that I can get to pay out with just one token.
[Memo watches Emilio play a game called "Plumb Crazy"]
Plumb Crazy Arcade: Plumb harder! [Toilet flushes] You're not very good at this.
Hermione: No.
[Boy plays a game called "Big Betty"]
Little Boy's Mother: Go on, sweetheart. Feed Big Betty.
Little Boy: No!
Hermione: Mm...
Money Broom Arcade: [Distorted] Money Broom.
Hermione: That one might actually work. If I could get the coin to land on just the right spot, just... right...
[Clanking]
Harry: Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe. Where it stop, nobody knows.
[Harry puts the coin on the Money Broom. He fails]
Money Broom Arcade: [Distorted] Money Broom.
Harry: Well, that was kind of fun.
Hermione: Wh- Ha-Harry, no! You can't just play "Money Broom." You have to know how to beat the system.
Harry: It's okay. It was worth it.
Hermione: No. I'll win it back. I'll win them all back.
Harry: Okay. I'm gonna go eat that pizza crust. [Runs away to the pizza crust; eats pizza crust] Mmm. Savory.
[Harry walks until he finds a table with some food left from a birthday]
[Pop!]
[He eats some chocolate cake, then sees a birthday hat and gasps]
Harry: [High-pitched] Wizard hat. [Puts on the birthday hat] Ploop.
[Scene cuts to Ron looking up for a game to play. He stops and watches a preview of a game about Keith Mack called "Iron Tiger"]
Keith Mack: Hey, this is Keith Mack, bass player for Iron Tiger. If you're watching this, our band's already been kidnapped. You're the only one who can save us!
Ron: [Gasps]
Iron Tiger Arcade: Insert coin. Insert coin. Insert coin. Insert coin.
[Sumo goes away]
[We go to Harry running and having fun on the arcade; he runs]
Harry: [Laughing]
[Harry pretends to be playing a dance game without paying]
Harry: [Humming]
[Collin watches Harry]
[Harry pretends to be playing a race game without paying]
Harry: [Imitating car noises] Out of my way! [Imitates explosion] Oh, crashing! [Runs around some games] [Panting] Come on! Come on, everybody! Who's gonna catch me? [Panting] [Approaches a kid seeing a claw machine] What one are you looking at?
Kid: I want that finger trap, but the claw keeps dropping it.
Harry: That claw always does that. It just always drops it. Sometimes, you just got to use your own hands. Why don't you just reach in there and grab it?
[Scraping]
[Kid tries to grab the finger trap using his hands, but he can't because his hands are too big]
Kid: My hands are too big.
Harry: Here. Let my try.
[Harry puts his hands on the claw machine and grabs the finger trap]
[Stretch! Snap!]
[Harry puts his hands off the claw machine and gives the finger trap to the kid]
Kid: Thanks.
Harry: Don't worry about it. Just your friendly neighborhood wizard.
[Harry runs away doing strange sounds with his feet]
[Scene cuts to Ron walking in the halls, searching for a game to play]
Arcade 1: Help us! We're trapped!
Ron: Huh?
Arcade 2: Feed me! I'm hungry!
Arcade 3: Hey, you! You're the next big winner!
Ron: [Gasps]
[Game beeping, voices distort]
[Ron approaches a game at the end of the hall which has a really big machine]
[Beeping]
[Shing!]
Ron: Aah. Ahhh.
[Suction]
[Ron inserts his coin]
[The game gives Ron the real-life stuff for that game]
[Plonk!]
Ron: Wha-
[Whirring]
Game: [Japanese accent] Ready. Set... Go!
[Dance music playing]
Game: Faster. Faster!
[Scene cuts to the "Asian Boy" playing whack the seal]
Asian Boy: [Grunts] Dang it! [Grunts] Dang it! [Grunts] Dang it! Dang it!
Game: Great job, clubber. Collect your blubber.
[Whirring]
[One ticket comes from the game]
Asian Boy: Dang it! [Grabs another coin]
Harry: Hey, you want to know a trick? Just use your hands.
Asian Boy: Really? [Inserts coin]
[Beep]
Harry: Ready?
Asian Boy: Mm-hmm.
[Harry and the Asian Boy start hitting the seals that come from the machine]
[Seal barks]
[Seal barks]
[Seal barks twice]
Asian Boy: Whoa.
[Seal barks twice]
[Seal barks twice]
[Seal barks]
[Seal barks]
[Harry couldn't hit one of the seals, so he grabs it]
Harry: Oh, no, you don't! [Hits the seal several times]
[Seal barking rapidly]
[Whirring]
[A lot of tickets come from the machine]
[Motor sputters]
[Distorted seal bark]
[Crack, sizzle]
Harry: That'll teach him.
Asian Boy: [Grabs the tickets] Thank you. [Realizes Harry is gone]
[Scene cuts to Draco and his team preparing to play laser tag]
Draco: [Grunts] You're gonna find out why my friends call me "The Laser Ghost."
Crabbe: We don't call you that.
Harry: Oh, cool. Can I play with you guys?
Draco: [Scoffs] Yeah, if you want to get blasted by the laser ghost.
Harry: Ooh. yes, please.
Blaise: It costs 8 bucks.
Harry: Oh. I don't have that many dollars.
Draco: [Scoffs] Sucks to be you. Come on. Let's go.
[Draco and his team enter laser tag]
Harry: Oh, all right, then. I'll just... eat some more pizza crusts.
[Harry goes to the birthday table and eats pizza crusts]
[Munch!]
Harry: Savory. Actually, that's not bad. [Keeps eating pizza crusts]
[Munch! Munch! Munch!]
[Clarence drinks soda pop]
[Glug! Glug! Glug! Glug!]
[Harry falls to the floor]
[Thud!]
[Scene cuts to Hermione studying the Money Broom arcade]
[Some numbers are shown in the screen]
Hermione: [Thinking] Okay, hmm. Got to crack this code. Carry the 2. Oh, watch the 1.
[Numbers disappear]
Hermione: I got it! [Gasps. Hides behind another game, waiting for someone else to play first]
[Collin walks ignoring the Money Broom game]
Hermione: Come on.
[Anthony walks ignoring the Money Broom game]
Hermione: [Groans] Dang it! Just one more play.
[Lavender is about to play Money Broom, but she changes her mind and walks away]
Hermione: Dang it.
[Anyway, Lavender stops and plays Money Broom one time, and loses]
Hermione: Yes. Come on, baby.
[Music plays]
Money Broom Arcade: [Distorted] Money Broom.
[Lavender walks away]
Hermione: Yes. That's the eight person. So, if it puts out every nine times, that means that the next quarter's got to be a winner!
[Lavender stops and grabs a coin she finds on the floor]
[Before Hermione can put her coin in the game, Lavender cuts in front of her]
Hermione: [Groans]
[Lavender puts her coin in the game and wins a lot of tickets]
Money Broom Arcade: Winner, winner, winner!
Lavender: [Squeals]
Hermione: Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, n-o-o-o!
[We go to Harry trying to help Anthony in a bowling game]
[Harry hits the glass above the balls for the game]
Harry: See, the trick with this one is, you just got to use your wizard... hand. Hmm. Wizard hands don't work on this one. [Looks everywhere] Hmm. Ah. Wizard basketball! [Grabs a ball from a basketball game] [Grunts] [Gets back to the game Guyler was trying to play] Daddy needs a new disco ball. [Kisses the ball] [Grunts] [Throws the ball and hits the game]
[Whoosh!]
[The ball hits the glasses kid]
Glasses Kid: Ow!
[Scene cuts to Hermione counting the coins on the Money Broom]
Hermione: 17, 18, 19, 20, 21...
[The ball hits the Money Broom]
Hermione: Unh!
[she falls]
Hermione: Oh?
[A lot of tickets come from the game]
Money Broom Arcade: Winner, winner, winner!
Hermione: I did it! I beat the house!
Harry: [Panting] Hermione, we're rich! We're rich! [Grabs some tickets] We can have anything that we want!
[Scene cuts to them on the prizes section]
Harry: Disco ball, please.
[The Prizes girl gives Harry a disco ball]
Hermione: I'll have the laser pointer.
[The Prizes girl gives Hermione a laser pointer]
Harry: Finally, finger disco. [Turns on the disco ball and pretends his fingers are dancing] [Vocalizing]
[Hermione turns on her laser pointer, but he can't see it because it's too bright there]
Harry: How's your laser?
Hermione: It - it's too bright in here. You can't really see it.
Harry: Well, let's try in there, where it's dark. [he points the entrance of Laser Tag]
Hermione: Okay.
[They enter Laser Tag]
Hermione: [Turns on the laser pointer] Oh, yeah. This works great in the dark.
Harry: Whoa! Look at this place! It's - it's so beautiful!
[Draco shoots Goyle with his laser gun]
Goyle: No! I'm already dead! Ow!
Draco: [Chuckles evilly] [Notices Harry and Hermione] Hey! Hey, how did those guys get in here? Hey, get out of here! You don't even have vests on!
Harry: Hey, Draco. Look what I got.
[While Hermione is pointing the laser pointer nowhere, Harry hands up with his disco ball and a lot of lasers come from the ball, which just hit everyone in there]
Goyle: Aaaaaah!
Blaise: Aah-gl-gl-gl!
Crabbe: [Gasps] [Falls off the stairs] Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh!
Draco: No. No! N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Harry: Wizard ball.
Unseen Man: [Echoing] Congratulations, space cadet. I'm promoting you to cosmic commander.
[A picture of Harry with the disco ball full of lasers is shown in one of the game's screens]
Harry: Oh, cool. That's me.
Draco: What?! They're not even playing!
[Afterwards, Harry and Hermione walking in the arcade, Harry hits his "cosmic commander" thing in his shirt with the disco ball"]
[Clinking]
Harry: I think this thing is real silver.
[Scene cuts to Blaise, Crabbe, and Draco eating pizza. Draco is mad]
Crabbe: Nice job, "Laser Ghost."
Blaise: [Laughs]
Draco: Shut up.
Crabbe: What? I thought you liked being called that.
Blaise: [Laughs]
Draco: [Groans]
[Scene cuts back to Harry and Hermione. Both stop]
Hermione: I have to say, I'm pretty surprised we got this far with just one dollar.
Harry: Unh-unh-unh. Not just any dollar. It was a wizard dollar.
Hermione: Whatever.
Harry: Come along, Ronald. Our work here is done.
Ron: [Dressed as the game he played with sparks shooting from the wires] Yes, master Harry.
[Ron and Hermione leave,Harry turns around]
Harry: Bye, Pizza Swamp.
[A full view of the Pizza Swamp inside is seen]
Harry: [Smooches, blows] [Leaves the arcade]