Chapter 1: Lunatics Can Win Too

"This food is awful," Two Face growled as he sat down at the table.

"It's been like this since a few weeks ago, but you weren't here for that," Joker replied as he stabbed at his own food. Poison Ivy just pushed hers away.

"Probably has mutilated plants in it, and I will not eat my babies," she said firmly. Joker scowled.

"Leland is normally better than this. What changed?" Jonathan Crane mused as he sat at the end of the table. Two Face looked over.

"While I was on the outside, Mayor Peterson announced spending cuts. I guess he cut spending on Arkham," Two Face theorized.

"So the mayor controls how much funding the asylum gets? That doesn't seem right. They're trying to cure us and shit," Harley said, sitting down.

"Harley, baby, nobody possesses as good a brain as me. You are right, for once in your life," Joker said to her. She hugged him tight.

"Oh, Mr. J, I love you!" she squealed. Joker rolled his eyes and shoved her away.

"The mayor controls the food. I've got a great idea," Joker started. Two Face studied him then started shaking his head.

"No, Joker. Don't say it," Two Face said.

"I'm going to run…" Joker continued. Two Face more vigorously shook his head.

"For Mayor!" Joker finished. Jonathan's head fell into his hands.

"We are all doomed," he moaned, and Two Face and Ivy could only agree.

"Now Joker, the other inmates say you are having delusions of power. What do they mean?" the new psychiatrist, Dr. Daniels, asked. Joker looked at him from across the table.

"It's simple Doc; I want to be mayor. I want better stuff, and we don't get that with this hardass. Besides, it would be a terrific joke, to see the people of Gotham so over politicians that they vote for me instead," Joker giggled. Dr. Daniels made a note on his paper: Suffers from Delusions of Power.

"Anything else?" Dr. Daniels asked. Joker nodded.

"Yeah, actually. Will you get me the footage of Mayor Peterson's announcement from four years ago, and also any recent political announcements," Joker said. "I want to be ready to announce soon. Election Day is only six months away!"

"What thinks people will vote for you?" Daniels asked.

"Ted Cruz won 11 states and he's the Zodiac Killer. Lunatics can win stuff too," Joker cackled. Dr. Daniels rolled his eyes.

"This session has been productive. You can leave." The Joker got up and moved towards the door, but Dr. Daniels stopped him. "I'll get you the tapes. My pay got slashed by this guy. Maybe we do need a lunatic in charge of the asylum."

"And, as mayor, I will keep Gotham safe, which Mayor Peterson has failed to do. I'm not doing this for the money; I'm doing this for the good of Gotham's people, and with that in mind, I know I might not be the mayor you deserve, but I am the mayor that you need. Thank you." Bruce Wayne stepped down from his podium as applause was heard. Joker flicked off the recording. Harvey sat next to him with a new DVD.

"Here. This is my announcement when I ran for DA," he put it in. A moaning teen instead popped up on the screen. Harvey lunged for the DVD player. "That's not it," he muttered, withdrawing another DVD from his jumpsuit.

"Wow, I didn't know your announcement was only to a horny blonde, but ok. I need a wider audience, cause I have a blonde already," Joker mused.

"Shut up," Harvey growled as he put in the next DVD. A fresh faced lawyer stood on the podium. On the front it said "Dent For DA". Behind him, a large banner said "Take Gotham Back".

"Justice. What is justice? Justice was originally considered 'an-eye-for-an-eye'. Now it is not so barbaric"- the crowd laughed at this -"but it is still the same concept. Justice is equal and applies to all men, rich or poor. If a rich man blinds a poor man, the rich man is also blinded. The world needs this universal standard of law. Gotham especially. That's why I am running for District Attorney. To take Gotham back and hold everybody accountable for their crimes! From corruption and bribery to common thievery, a standard will be set to insure that the law is fair to everybody!" Joker suddenly hit the power button on the remote.

"That was the best part!" Two-Face declared.

"Oh come on Harv; this only shows me one thing. That you are going to run my campaign, and we are going to win," Joker declared as he stood up and marched off. Two-Face just shook his head.

"What have I gotten myself into?"