I was still a little loopy from a mountain of snow crushing down on me. Cold, never felt cold like that. My teeth chattered as I leaned against Ranma for support, limping through the thick crust of snow.
A green aurora danced in the night sky. A sea of shimmering stars…had there always been that many in the sky. I struggled to remember. Before the avalanche, it had been getting late, so I must have been out for hours.
I struggled to remember how I got here. The memories came flooding up suddenly. Snow…a tsunami of snow racing towards me. Phone dropping from my ungloved hand, standing transfixed with terror. Ranma shouting, racing towards me, racing the tumbling avalanche. I clenched tighter to Ranma as I buried those memories.
When my heart slowed to a more normal pace, the weariness started to overcome me. "I wanna lie down," I mumbled.
"Can't, Nabiki. Got to find shelter."
"So tired. Can't stay awake."
"Just keep movin', you'll warm up eventually," Ranma said, panting.
Her fingers dug into my ribs tighter. The faintest glimmer of warmth radiated through her jacket. As we crested a hill, we caught a gust of wind that chilled me down to the bone. Ranma's teeth started chattering too.
I started waking up to the amount of danger we were in. My hand found hers ungloved, fingers like icicles. Our fingers entwined. Concern? No, merely self-preservation. Without Ranma, lost in this frozen waste I was finished. I tried to shut the terror from my mind, but in spite of myself I whimpered.
"Scared?" she asked. When I didn't answer she whispered, "me too." I clutched tighter to her, hoping she wouldn't blame a girl for a history of trying to make a bit of cash at her expense. The frosted pines glowed in the moonlight.
The frozen crust of the virgin snow glittered like diamonds. Definitely not a girl's best friend.
"Didya say somethin'?" asked Ranma.
"Not on purpose…was just thinking how the ice looks like diamonds in the pale light. Alluring but dangerous."
Ranma nodded. Her eyes flitted to me with words left unsaid.
"What are you thinking?"
"Nope, not putting my foot in my mouth again."
"If we're going to die out here, you may as well tell me."
Ranma let out a heavy sigh. "Ok. I was thinking how much you had in common with the snow."
"Oh? Am I alluring and dangerous to you, Ranma-kun?" I added an ojou laugh for effect. Rather tried to. My voice was too hoarse and it hurt to laugh. "Oh my, what would your fiancée think?"
"You can't just leave well enough alone, yuki-onna."
Something tugged at my cold heart. She was right…this wasn't the time to be picking at that scab. Especially if we could die out here.
Ranma suddenly came to a stop. Shielding her eyes from the glare of the moon, she peered out into the distance. "I think I see a cabin up ahead."
As abruptly as she stopped, she started again. Her spirits were raised as she dragged me along through the brambles. I shut my eyes to avoid the whipping branches. But I couldn't get my hope up only to see it destroyed.
Suddenly the crunch of snow under our boots turned into the clop of rubber on hardwood. I finally dared to open my eyes. The quaint little log cabin was as cold and still as the pines. Stacks of neatly chopped firewood lined the porch. Icy teeth hung from the eaves. I took an involuntary step back.
"Doesn't look like anyone is home. Guess we'll let ourselves in."
"Are you sure that's a good ide—" Before I could finish my sentence, the martial artist had already jimmied the lock.
Ranma disappeared in the shadows. I stood at the open entrance until a howling wolf in the distance prodded me in. Only the pale moonlight streaming through the frosty windows lit the interior.
"Ranma," I called out, "Where are you?"
Ranma's face appeared from the dark, lit by a flashlight. "Boo!" she cried.
I stiffened as the hairs on my neck prickled up. For a split second, I managed to forget I was slowly freezing to death. "Is it really the time to be goofing around?" I deadpanned.
"Yes."
I rolled my eyes, but Ranma was too busy scurrying about to notice. The cabin had given shelter from the wind, but I was still cold and wet. I took my mind off the shivering by pacing about, desperately rubbing my numb hands over my body to stir up a bit of warmth.
Ranma knelt in front of a dusty old fireplace, armload of wood in hand. "Jus' hold tight Nabs, I'll get a fire going."
She began tearing off strips of bark with her fingers, setting aside the ribbons in a pile next to some twigs and straw. She worked quickly and meticulously. I remembered her idle talk about life on the road. A twinge of something came over me, as I imagined precocious six-year-old me roughing it in the mountains with daddy.
I knelt beside her, wincing at the wet squish of my snow pants. Ranma remained totally focused on her work, shaving thin little curls of wood on a piece of kindling. They looked almost like a feather duster. Her jaw was set, brow narrow and focused as she worked.
When she was done, she gathered the noodly mass of bark, straw, and the thinner wood shavings into ball, and set it on the cut side of a small log. She spat into her hands before grabbing a stick the thickness of her thumb. She scraped the end across the cut face of the log, like she was trying to grind a groove into it. Her hands moved so fast I could barely see.
As the wood started to brown, I finally realized what she was doing. I huddled closer as she worked to produce heat from friction, something I'd been doing with my hands on my jacket this whole time. It's simple physics, but it felt like magic when the gathering wood dust began to smolder. My heart started pounding as she continued her work with laser focus.
The mass of bark and straw began to smoke. Ranma gathered the little nest up in her fingers and blew through pursed lips. The smoke billowed, then the first flickers of dull orange flames danced in her hands.
"Yatta," I said quietly.
She set the nest on the andirons in the fireplace and nudged the feather stick into place. For a moment, it looked like the little fire would be snuffed out. I bit my knuckle until the little curls ignited.
"Could you hand me the kindling…the thinner strips of wood?" Ranma said as she worried over the baby fire.
I nodded, grabbing the kindling into my numb hands. I scooched closer to the hearth and set a few pieces in her waiting hand. Her fingers had gotten warmer from the work; our touch lingered a moment.
We built the fire piece by piece, until we'd coaxed a roaring blaze from a few smoldering embers. The stone hearth was still cold, but the once dim cabin was bathed in orange light.
I was still cold and wet, but damn did that fire feel nice.
While I warmed my numb extremities a bit too close to the fire, Ranma rooted around the cabin for additional supplies. She startled me out of my fire-trance we she set a thick futon on the hearth. Shamelessly, she began to remove her jacket and shirt.
"Don't you have any feminine modesty?" I chided
Ranma looked over her shoulder at me. "Never saw the use for it. Besides, these clothes are cold and wet. If you don't want to catch your death, you'd strip down too."
You know that awful feeling when the last person you'd expect to be sensible actually makes a great point that you should've thought of? Yeah, me neither. I grumbled as I unlaced my boots. Those blankets she'd found looked awfully inviting.
I'd been soaked down to my skivvies by melting snow. It might've been fine during the day, but the temperature plummeted in the cloudless night.
Ranma had wrapped herself in a flannel blanket; her boxers and sports bra were draped over a rack next to the fire. "No peeking, Ranma," I scolded.
"You act like it's something I couldn't see in a mirror," she scoffed.
"Touché." I turned my back to her as I unzipped my jacket. "You know, since you've been living with us, you've gotten quite a bit sharper."
"I'm not dumb, Nabiki, I just sometimes say dumb things."
I snorted as I pulled my thermal underwear off. I shivered in the still frigid air, wishing I hadn't left the blanket half-way across the room. Ranma laughed at my expense I as I wrapped up in its woolen embrace.
"Mmmm, cashmere," I mumbled, "whoever owns this cabin has good taste." Now protected from the elements and prying eyes, I removed my bra and very sensible boyshorts, and set them on the rack to dry.
I settled in next to Ranma, feeling the weariness in my bones. To my surprise, Ranma slumped onto my shoulder with a little mew of distress. Something must've come over me, because I wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"I'm just so tired, Nabiki," she said between sighs, "It's been a long day."
Her words tugged at my heart. "I'm sorry for leading you on a wild goose chase. I was just thinking about cell service, and not about the danger. Fat lot of good it did me, buried under a fucking mountain of snow."
The memory flashed before my eyes. Ranma's shouts, this roiling white storm charging towards me. I shivered thinking about it.
"Just glad you're safe. I…I don't think I could live myself if you died and I didn't, let alone face your sisters." Her muscles coiled beneath my hands. Her fists tightened into a white-knuckle ball. "Every now and again the world just wants to remind you how fucking small you are."
"You're taking this pretty hard, Ranma. There's no shame in losing to an avalanche. I just hope Akane and Kasumi are okay."
She shrugged, and took the bait to change subjects. "They were already back at the lodge, well out of the path of the slide.
"It's selfish of me, but I'm glad you're here. Without you, I'd be dead. There's no way I'd survive out here on my own."
She squirmed at the compliment, tugging nervously at her pig tail. Her silky black hair glowed almost red in the firelight. She whispered, "I'm glad you're here too. When I found you under the snow, and I couldn't tell if you were breathing…I panicked."
"You know, I'm surprised. I haven't exactly been the best housemate to you."
"Eh, my best friends spent years tracking me down to get revenge for minor slights. It'd be weird if I let a little thing like blackmail get in the way of friendship. 'Sides, it hasn't been all bad. Your little schemes are fun, especially when they're not happening to me."
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I still shouldn't have borrowed against the goodwill of a friend."
"Eh, don't worry about it."
"I'm serious. I want…I want to pay you back."
She took my hand, gently squeezing. "It's not about money. I know my pop can be a mooch, and we showed up out of the blue with this stupid idea of 'uniting the schools'; it must've been a big pain."
"You're not guests…not anymore. What I mean is…" I said, choking up.
She looked up at me with those big blue eyes. A thin smirk curled on her lips. "Oh, what's that Nabiki? Can't hear ya when ya mumble."
Some long-neglected part of me was screaming Cute! internally. The icy armor I'd worn since my moth—ever since that awful day; it was starting to melt.
What if she leaves? What if she doesn't want you? What if something happens to her? My heart clenched. I felt cold again, overwhelmed by the terror of vulnerability and the treachery of the human heart.
Her smirk disappeared. She squeezed tighter to me, her face becoming a mirror of mine. She saw right through me, bore the pain of empathy, stayed close. I'd never felt more vulnerable. I realized we were having a Moment, like all those times when Akane and her had a moment of connection, of shared vulnerability, only for someone like me to ruin it for them.
But there was no one for miles to butt in. "I've spent most of my life being pulled away from people I cared about," whispered Ranma. "Eventually the tears stopped coming and I got numb to it. But that didn't help heal. I'm old enough now to live my own life, Nabiki. I'm not going anywhere.
Her lips were so close, such a lovely cherry red. And for a brief moment, I thought of expressing what I couldn't say with words.
The moment passed and I was still frozen. Ranma hugged me close, nuzzling her warm cheek against mine. I eventually returned the embrace. My heart unclenched and this unfamiliar wave crashed over me. When she pulled away, that strange feeling left. It let the air out of my balloon.
Then I remembered that Ranma was my sister's fiancé/e. The anxiety returned. We sat next to each other in silence for a while, before Ranma put on her mostly dry underwear. It reminded me how vulnerable I was under this wool blanket, so I decided to endure the discomfort of slightly damp underwear to tamp down that vulnerability.
The air in the cabin was still frigid, but not freezing. I still decided to put some more logs on the fire as Ranma started rooting around the cabin again. The window of pleasantly tired enough to sleep had passed, and now I jittered with that wired feeling of overtired.
As the fire roared pleasantly, Ranma returned with a bronze tea kettle and a cast-iron pot. We hung them hooks by the fire, and took turns filling them with snow to melt. Ranma grumbled about how a wood stove would be more convenient. I'm much more of thermostat and installed central air kind of girl, so I just nodded along.
Whoever owned the cabin had kept some shelf-stable food. They were marked with the insignia of the JSDF. While I teared in vain at the plastic pouch, Ranma retrieved a pocket knife from her snow pants.
"Hungry?" she teased, offering the knife.
"Famished." When I reached for it, she pulled the knife away.
"You should say 'please' and 'thank you'."
"Please may I use your knife?" I said, rolling my eyes. She handed it to me with an overgracious 'you're welcome'. "You enjoy getting a rise out of people too much, I said."
"Can't help myself."
She put a few teabags into the kettle while I tossed some entrees at random into the pot of simmering water. The less I knew about what I was eating, probably the better.
I curled up by the now pleasingly warm hearth, blanket draped over my back like a cape. If Ranma was cold, she didn't let on. She settled in next to me just as the food was ready.
I dunno if soldier-food is actually good or if I was so hungry it didn't matter, because I wolfed down that pork curry and gomoku rice. Ranma tutted with amusement.
"Oy, you don't get to complain about table manners," I snapped back.
"I think it's cute actually."
I tried to hide my blush behind my mug of tea. Ranma blushed too when she realized her choice of words.
When the food settled in my belly, the weight of exhaustion crushed down on me. Eyes heavy, I slumped over onto Ranma's shoulder. I crushed down the nagging thoughts about propriety or leaving my heart vulnerable. I just needed to feel that someone was there. There for me.
Ranma fidgeted for a bit, wrapping her blanket around my shoulders. I did the same, watching with amusement as the blush rose across her body like a thermometer as we cuddled together skin-to-skin.
"There," I whispered. "Comfy."
I would've fallen asleep, had a little thought not kept nagging me. I tried to push it away and focus on the warmth of her touch. Finally I gave in. "We have hot water…and you haven't changed back."
I felt her bristle, muscles tightening beneath her skin. "I…I like you just fine this way. I'm not judging," I confessed.
Ranma relaxed a millimeter. "Some days…" she whispered. "I just feel more comfortable as a girl. Others I feel more comfortable as a boy."
"You're always Ranma, whatever form you're in."
"I…I think Akane prefers the girl half," she confessed, her voice trembling. "She doesn't talk about it, and I don't want to pry. But I want to know if I could be a girl, at least part-time, with her."
I winced, surprising myself. "You really love my sister."
She nodded. "Part of me is afraid I don't know what love is, because if I'm honest with myself, my heart is pulled every which way. And I don't want to break anyone's heart."
"You spent most of your life starved for affection. I think it's natural you don't know what to do with it now that you have it, even when it comes with so many strings attached."
"Damn Nabiki, that was…"
"Savage? I know, and I'm sorry. This whole ice queen thing is a hard habit to break."
"At least you're honest. Now I just need to figure out if I can be honest."
She gazed at me appreciatively, those bright baby blues seeing right through me. My heart began to pound as I looked up at that roguish grin. Her lips were so soft and pink now, and my anxiety mounted as I wondered what they'd feel like on mine. Her mascara and eyeliner had been running earlier, but she'd cleaned it up when I wasn't looking. I wondered when Ranma wearing cosmetics stopped being notable.
But most of all, as my heart clenched, I wondered if she could ever look at me with half the intensity she had for my sister. A selfish dream, so typical of me. But I wanted to believe in it so badly it hurt. I'd opened the floodgates of emotion, let that wonderful boy, that wonderful girl, find the chinks in my armor.
"You challenged me once," Ranma said, "to figure out what I really wanted. I brushed it off then, but you were right. I've let this go on for long enough. I need to figure out which of the three girls' hearts I'm going to break." She let out a longing sigh.
The voice in my head said Now or never. Like sour grapes, I'd always dismissed Ranma's romantic entanglements as stupid before. The first time the engagement was transferred to me, I played it off as idle amusement. The second time, Ranma tried their hardest to be a model fiancé, and I just played along, glowing at Ranma's attempts at romance while telling myself I was just doing it to get Akane properly motivated to fight and take him back.
When I wilted after the engagement was moved back, I lied to myself and called it stupid. But even when the fire went out, I still felt the embers on my skin. Love and romance were stupid things, and for the first time in my life, I dared to be stupid. "Four."
"Huh? Four?" she said, completely oblivious.
I placed my hand on her cheek, our lips centimeters apart. "You're an incorrigible Casanova, Ranma." I closed my eyes and leaned in for the kiss. She was shocked at first. My heat beat out of time, worried that I'd committed the most colossal fuckup I could imagine. Her hand brushed against my cheek, and she returned the kiss.
It barely seemed real as we parted. I'd kept it short and sweet; any longer and I'd probably be sleeping with her metaphorically rather than literally, and I wasn't ready for that. Neither was Ranma, I guessed. Nor would it have been fair, especially to my sister. I wasn't thinking about that at the time, and I'm sure the recent harrowing events made us both a bit more impulsive.
I'm glad I kept it short and sweet, even though we both whimpered when we parted. The butterflies in my belly left me on edge. Surprise danced on her face as the tears of relief gathered in my eyes.
"Four…" she repeated.
"Yeah. Quite a mess I've gotten myself in. But there's time to figure it out."
Notes: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
I decided to fulfill this challenge by changing my usual tack, and doing a first-person perspective from one of my favorite character's POVs. If you enjoy reading this half as much as I did writing it, then we're off to a great start. I also decided to avoid the usual technicolor hair of the anime canon, and go with black-haired girl-mode Ranma from the manga. Hope you enjoy, especially you Beedok my friend :) And anyone else reading this, please leave your thoughts in the comments.
