A/N: A little light-hearted story for Autumrose. I got the idea this morning as I finished the crossword, which had the clue "Kirk, to Michael." The answer was DAD. Having recently watched an episode that included some crossword puzzle banter, (You'll see which episode in the story.) I decided it was a sign.
A Battle of Wits and Words
It was Friday morning. It had been the slowest week that Steve could recall in his time on the force. The phones sat mercifully silent. It was only 10 am, but his desk was clear, all the reports, organized, typed and on Mike's desk. He was just getting another cup of coffee when he spied a copy of the New York Time's that someone had left on the table. It was an odd thing to find, he didn't think anybody in the bull pen read the New York paper except him.
Bonus, he thought as he noticed the crossword puzzle had not been completed. Friday's puzzles were devilishly difficult in the Time's, so he was quick to step up to the challenge. He grabbed the paper, filled his cup and went back to his desk to luxuriate in a well-earned diversion.
"9 letter word for coin blanks" Steve smiled at the 6 down clue. That's an easy one, he thought as he filled in the word: PLANCHETS. Steve continued working the puzzle. He next filled in 27 across, "Spartacus star." Totally engrossed, he had his feet up on his desk and had worked about a quarter of the puzzle, when Mike blustered into the office.
"Somebody give you the day off?" Mike groused sweeping Steve's feet to the floor and continuing on to his office, slamming the door.
Must have been some meeting. He collected himself, thinking his blissful morning diversion was at an end. Mike had been in his monthly meeting for more than 2 hours, and judging by his foul mood, things had not gone well. He looked over at a glaring Mike, trying to decide if it was prudent to even enter the office. Steve was in such good spirits, he decided to risk it. A little TLC was in order for his surly partner.
Steve carefully folded over the paper and tucked it under his arm and grabbed his cup. He went over to the coffee pot, poured a cup of coffee in Mike's favorite cup, refilled his own and proceeded into the office, letting the coffee lead the way as a peace offering.
Mike was staring down at the pile of reports awaiting his signature when he saw a cup of coffee appear on his desk. He looked up and saw his smiling partner. While Steve's happy demeanor was normally a welcome sight, he was in such an ill-temper, that he didn't even care to engage in their customary banter.
Nonplussed, Steve sat down in his usual chair to wait out the storm. He took out the puzzle and continued to fill in the answers, passing the time until Mike was in a fit state to talk. He filled in 47 across "Ken Kesey novel."
Mike ignored him and continued to read the reports, signing and stacking them off to the side. He occasionally stole a glance at his immersed partner in appreciation. The reports Steve prepared were thorough and organized, as always. Working his way through the pile of exemplary work, his dark mood lightened. That boy is really something, he though as he signed the last report. Mike took off his glassed and finally looked over at Steve.
"Are you ready to talk, now?" Steve asked with a small grin, after he filled in the answer for 34 across clue, "Streetcar statuette winner."
Mike smiled, feeling a little sheepish about his display of temper earlier. "What's so interesting, buddy boy?"
"New York Time's Crossword puzzle. Even though it's Friday, this one is so easy, I bet even you could finish it," Steve said cheekily." Mike often kidded him about his egg-head pursuits, so he figured a little turnabout was in order.
"Is that so, hotshot?" Mike grinned, rising to the bait. "Is that a challenge? I'll have you know I've finished a fair few of those in my day."
Smirking, Steve replied, "Sure, Mike. I'll tell you what. It's nearly 11. There isn't a thing going on here today. If you can finish that puzzle by, say 2pm, I'll buy dinner later on, pizza with all the anchovies it will hold."
"And what if I don't, smiley?"
"Then dinner is on you, and I get to choose the place." Steve tossed the paper in front of Mike with a flourish. "And one more thing, Mike, you're not allowed to ask anybody for help!"
Mike thought it over for a minute. Not wishing to be outdone by the young detective, he replied, "No help huh? You're on!"
Steve left the office and sat back down at his desk. He peered in at Mike, who seemed to be deeply engrossed. He made a few phone calls and decided to head out for an early lunch in the spring sunshine. Walking over to the office, he poked his head in and asked Mike to join him. Mike waved him off.
"Oh, I get it, just trying to distract me," Mike replied, wagging his finger at Steve, "Well it's not going to work, you go ahead while I finish this up." Steve looked down at the newspaper as Mike tapped it with end of his pen, and he was a little taken aback. Mike had, in fact, made significant progress on the puzzle. Steve hoped he wouldn't regret his wager, Mike could be incredibly single-minded when challenged.
As soon as he saw Steve leave, Mike came out of his office. It was very quiet. A few of his detectives were still at their desks, but from the looks of it, murder had taken the day off in San Francisco. In truth, Mike had not really made much progress on the puzzle, he had just sort of filled things at random. Not willing to lose his wager, he polled each man in the bull pen for help.
To his dismay, it seemed Steve had spent the few minutes before he left for lunch admonishing his coworkers to withhold their assistance on the infernal object of the wager. Mike looked carefully at the paper and an evil grin crossed his face. You don't trust me, huh? Well, this old dog has a few tricks up his sleeve, my young friend. Mike went to the office and picked up the phone. After a few minutes, he grabbed his coat and fedora and left in a flash.
Steve decided to take a walk after lunch and did not return until nearly one. He was sidetracked by the Assistant DA Gerry O'Brien at the door and went off to review a case, ultimately arriving back at his desk at a little past 4. He had intended to let Mike off the hook if he had not finished the puzzle when he got in, feeling that the whole thing was a little childish. That was until he saw Mike standing like the cat that ate the canary at his office door.
Mike tossed the newspaper to Steve, "Read it and weep, buddy boy! I believe you owe me dinner! I can already taste the anchovies." Steve gaped at the completed puzzle, spot checking the answers.
"I yield to the master," said Steve making an exaggerated bow in Mike's direction. "He looked around the bull pen, "None of you characters helped him, right?" The collection of detectives shook their heads. "Mike, I have a couple of things to check out for Gerry. As soon as I'm done we can head out for your victory dinner." Steve felt a little green at the thought of an extra helping of anchovies. He could not believe that he had underestimated Mike so badly.
"You really surprised me Mike, I had no idea you were such an expert. Really I'm impressed." Steve said as they walked into Mama's. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Mike had been able to complete the puzzle. The Friday and Saturday Time's puzzles gave fits to experts. Someone had helped him, he was sure of it, but who? In addition, Mike hadn't even made the effort to gloat, not even a little bit.
When their pizza came, Steve was relieved to see that the dreaded topping only covered half the pizza. "What gives, Mike? I thought you were going to dish up some well-earned torture."
Mike looked at Steve and couldn't contain his glee. With a sly grin, he admitted, "Well, if you want to get technical, I did have some help with the puzzle."
"I knew it!" Steve exclaimed, "If you had help, then I won, so what are we doing here?"
Mike produced the paper, and placed it in front of Steve, "If you can figure out how I did it, hotshot, I'll pay for dinner!" He challenged with a gleam in his clear blue eyes.
Steve stared at the paper, but for the life of him, he couldn't see what Mike was referring to.
"Some detective you are. Look at the date on the paper, buddy boy, look at the date. It's from last Friday, not today. All I did was go to the library and pull Saturday's paper and copied the answers.
Steve sputtered and laughed at the revelation, "That's really low, Mike, even for you!"
"Well, Mike responded, "You said not to ask anybody for help. You didn't say a word about anything. So eh, technically…"