"I'm not going to pretend I understand the importance of bonsly pruning type treatment of facial hair…"

"But?"

"But nothing. You've been in here for like an hour. Stop being such a girl."

"Because there's obviously something wrong with girls."

"Oh shut up, Archie."

Archie Baldwin Aogiri had indeed been in the bathroom for exactly 48 minutes just shaving. Truth was, there was a lot more thinking than shaving going on which, given the circumstances, was quite understandable. Of course, this didn't change the fact that the thinker was hogging prime mirror real estate that his sister was itching to get a share of.

"Why don't you go to mom and dad's room, Shell? I bet their bathroom's free."

"Oh right, silly me. There's no way I would have thought to check on that myself. I forgot you were the family genius. My bad."

"Matt still in the shower?"

"What can I say: he takes after you. Okay, move over," Shelly finally quit her position leaning on the doorframe and wedged herself between Archie and the mirror, opening her makeup case, "Mew's ass this hotel has shitty lighting."

"Hoo boy," he whistled, "you kiss our mother with that mouth?"

"Oh, bite me," she couldn't help from smiling just a little as she swabbed an applicator sponge into foundation mousse, "You know you'll miss it."

"Yeah. I will."

Shelly paused and turned her head to face Archie as he nudged her over to stick his face under the faucet, rinsing off the cream and loose hairs. He pulled back and they made eye contact as she handed him a towel.

"Thanks."

"Yeah," Shelly moved on to mascara under her brother's admiring gaze, "Take a picture; it'll last longer."

"I'm just impressed you can keep your hand steady enough to do that. I'd stab my eye out."

"Both eyes, don't underestimate yourself. On anything," she took a real pause and sighed, "You're going to be fine, okay?"

"I'm not worried."

"That's tauros shit and you know it. I'm supposed to be the scared kid here mister mature adult."

Neither of them said anything while Shelly shifted from right to left and grimaced with the effort of concentration. She cursed Archie: if he hadn't complimented her, she wouldn't have become aware of how hard it was to keep her lashes from clumping or-Arceus forbid- her eye from blinking. For his part, Archie was busy with combing his foof of hair into submission. Sure, he was terrif-nervous, but something told him that wasn't the issue at the moment. He'd been pretty careful to keep his uneasiness under wraps so it wouldn't rub off on the rest of his family: especially for Matt's sake. Either he was worse at maintain a poker face than he thought or…

"Ever thought maybe you're projecting, Shell?"

"The dist you talking about?" She got too close to the roots and felt herself scream internally as her eyelid slammed shut on the applicator, "FUCK- Archie look what you made me do!"

"Oh my gods are you okay, hey, hold still… OH SWEET MEW! Your eye- it-!

"What? What!?" She squinted, tearing up from the jab.

"It's… it's.. oh wow…."

"ARCHIBALD."

"Your eye is… perfectly fine actually. Not even any redness."

Shelly punched him.

Closed fist.

In the solar plexus.

She was going to miss him so much.

"And make sure to write at least once a week."

"Of course, mom."

"Remember, if your grades drop below C level-"

"I knoooow mother. They won't, okay?"

"And don't do anything you wouldn't want your siblings to copy."

"I don't want them to have to take differential calculus, does that count?"

Shelly hid a smirk.

"Seriously Archibald? You're officially an adult now, you could try to cut out the backtalk."

"Yeah yeah, sorry father."

"…Smart ass"

Mr. Aogiri pulled his eldest son close and held on for a good long moment more than Archie had expected. His father didn't show affection like this very often. Actually, the gesture morbidly reminded Archie of when his grandfather had died. That had been the first time he'd seen his father cry.

"You be good, okay? And take care of yourself, promise?"

"I promise."

The hug ended with a rough backpat that Archie awkwardly reciprocated. He tried ignore the old man violently rubbing tears out of his eyes. Mrs. Aogiri was more subtle, simply using her hand to shield her eyes from sun's glare and casually flicking teardrops from her cheeks.

"Archib- Archie, it looks like there are upperclassmen here to help you move in. Do you mind if we head out? I'd like to squeeze in the museum before our plane leaves."

"Nah, I don't mind. Bye mom," he stood on tiptoes to reach his arms around her shoulders and she tersely gave him a squeeze back, "Bye bye baby Shell-augh!"

He doubled over for the second time that morning as her elbow dug into his gut.

"Rachelle!"

"It's, agh, it's okay mom," Archie rested his hands on his knees, "I assume that's your version of 'I love you bro, huh shortie?"

"I love you bro!"

"I know Mattie, I, ack, I know."

"Actually, no," Shelly wrapped her arms around her now eye level brother, "This is," she whispered.

Archie felt her slip something small and round into his palm then push his fingers closed around it.

"Tabby helped me catch her. Her name's Skyler," all in a breathless whisper, "Have fun being the family genius, hotshot."

"Thank you, Shell. I love you too."

"Bro!"

"Yeah yeah yeah, c'mere you"

Archie straightened up, pushing the pokeball deep into his pocket before opening his arms to his "little" brother's tearful tackle hug. He gave Matt a playful noogie, much to their parent's dismay, and reminded the hulking 12 year old to keep up with his lifting and schoolwork or there'd be more where that came from. 24 "I love you bro's" later, Archie was finally waving on the sidewalk- watching his family somehow manage to force Matt into the rental car and drive off to the city proper.

About 50 yards away, Maxie watched the whole scene with a rotten feeling building in his gut.

"Ok… now I wish I had moved in during pre-orientation."

Archie cursed under his breath as he struggled with the two giant duffle bags his parents had made him pack so tight the zippers were barely holding everything from exploding into a huge mess of fuck everything.

An empty handed freshman who had been walking a bit in front of Archie turned around and grinned, "Yeah you probably should have. You need some help there?"

"Yes please," Archie handed his savior the lighter of the two bags and heaved the other up so it was braced against his shoulders, holding out a somewhat free hand to the other dark skinned newbie, "Archie, by the way."

"…My name's Leonard, but I prefer going by Len- wait, did you say your name was Archie?"

"I, yeah- Len? Oh woah, dude hahaha! What're the chances?!"

"I can't believe- THE Archie? What are the chances indeed?"

Len Castle and Archie Aogiri had been designated to be roommates through Nacrene University's housing survey and had begun communicating by peliper post three months prior to move-in. Neither had thought to send the other a picture of themself. Len was a lot taller than Archie had expected: at least 6'3." Len, on the other hand, was surprised to find that Archie barely breached her shoulder. He was strong, though, and Len had no doubt that her roomie was hard headed enough to have attempted to drag both bags up the four flights of stairs it took to get to their room.

"Thank Arceus, haanh, I thought- thought that would never… end. Please tell me you have a key, Lennie old pal?"

"Yup. And… please don't call me Lennie," Len unlocked the door, "My parents call me that."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"'s okay. Here we are! Home sweet home. Your bed's the one against the far wall. I figured you would want the window desk."

"Yeah, thanks!" the two passed some time in busy silence as Archie tried to make sense of his mass of junk. Len helped pull things out and place them in organized piles for Archie to work with. After about thirty songs played through on Len's stereo, they managed to get everything into a manageable state, and Archie turned to making his bed. Len busied herself hanging up posters with sticky tack and tape. One in particular, an illustration of a large and beautiful woman caught Archie's attention. It was the painting Len had told him about in one of their later letters. A friend had made it for her.

"So… you're waiting to transition I guess?"

"Yup," she smacked her palm against the lump of sticky tack under the corner of a Pink Floatzel poster in an attempt to smooth it out a little, "Figured I'd try and squeeze at least a master's out of my parents before they disown me."

"You think they'd really-"

"I know they will," Len sighed and flopped on to her bed, plucking at the extra sticky tac, "but I plan to be independent enough at that point that it won't pose too much of an issue."

"Damn."

"What about your family? I notice you don't have nearly as much crap as anybody else I've run into."

"Haha, yeah. I'm gonna need to do a lot of shopping: there was only so much the 'rents were willing to chip in with," Archie cleared his throat and adopted his father's raspy growl, "Son, your mother and I will pay for tuition and your cost of living, but we retain the expectation that you will take responsibility for all needs outside this blah blah, gah that hurts my throat," he coughed, "Yeah so there's that. I should be fine though. I saved up a good stash working for Stern."

"Stern?"

"Slateport's resident Ocean guru boat master miracle man."

"…Ok."

"He captained the ship I worked on the last couple summers. It's called the S.S. Anne, she just took her maiden voyage three years ago. I've known the guy since- well, birth I guess! Nice ass vessel. A real beauty, single stack but just enough space for-"

"Yah, mm no. sorry sweetie but I don't really ca-"

A pillow to the face muted her thought.

"Too bad m'lady. I come from a long family of watermen so yah might wanna get used to boat talk."

"Only if you're willing to get used to fossil talk."

They glared at each other for a solid minute before breaking into roaring laughter.

"I'm- I'm hungry, Len. You know the dining hall good at this point right?"

"Haha, Ha yeah. Let's get- let's get lunch."

The name scrawled on his birth certificate read simply Maxie Lennon Matsubusa. Not Maxwell, Maximillian or even Maximus: just Maxie. And this was the name the R.A had tacked to his door in greeting. Maxie fucking hated his parents.

"Hey are you my roommate?!"

In retrospect, if he had really wanted to avoid this encounter, Maxie should not have been standing right outside his door like one of those tiny impenetrable trees. As it was, Maxie found himself staring down a beefy, baby faced kid with the sad fragile wisps of a neckbeard just beginning to sprout around his chin. The other boy seemed harmless enough, but Maxie couldn't help gripping his left hand with his right. If he was lucky, the two of them would have opposite schedules and never have to deal with each other. Maxie took a low, deep breath.

"Are you in room 109?"

"Yeah!"

"Then yes. Maxie Matsubusa."

Maxie extended a hand which the other boy seized enthusiastically with more strength than Maxie had expected.

"Allen Birch, but my friends call me AJ. Is Maxie short for somethin'?"

"Uh, no. It isn't."

"Hey that's cool," AJ released Maxie's hand, "Were you here for pre-orientation?"

Maxie opened the door to let AJ through.

"Yes, they had a local cave excursion, and I wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible."

"Huh, you like rocks?"

"Yes. I'm a geology major-"

"Woah really!? Wow man, I'm an ecology major that's cool that we're both science guys!"

Maxie stared at AJ in mute disbelief. AJ eventually noticed the look and his giant grin slid into a confused frown.

"What's up, man?"

"Allen… this is… this is a University of the Sciences. Everyone here is a 'science guy.'"

"Oh yeah."

AJ's parents joined the boys in their room shortly after he arrived, and the four agreed that lofting the beds would be the best way to reroute the little space the room afforded. Then came the task of hauling all of AJ's crap from the Birchs' van. After an hour of combined effort, everything was more or less in place, and AJ's parents left with gross sobbing and reminders to write often. The door finally shut, and AJ climbed up to plop down on his mattress whereas Maxie sat at his desk with a satisfied grin. Maxie was especially pleased with the setup as it allowed him his own private desk area under his bed. This way he could face away from everything and just immerse himself in his world of work. Perfect.

"I'm gonna level with you Maxie," AJ began, "I probably won't be in here that much. I like getting out and about, y'know? Being indoors too much is just not my style."

"That's fine with me as long as you remember to keep your key with you."

"Well duh, of course!"

In that first semester alone, Allen James Birch Junior would wind up locked out of room 109 a total of 17 times.

A few hours later, Maxie was reading and AJ was sprawled and snoring on his bed when three knocks broke the former out of his word induced trance. Using a pen as a page marker, Maxie carefully closed his book and sidled over to the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me."

Maxie smirked and undid the latch to welcome in his guest. Len waltzed in and took a look around at the new arrangement.

"Pretty nice digs. Did it kill you, having to change your system?"

"Only a little. My roommate's asleep so let's talk outside."

"Sounds good."

After migrating to the hall's common room, the pair, who had been in the same pre-orientation group, swapped room-mate stories.

"He's an idiot, but that doesn't mean I trust him," Maxie confided.

"Well, it takes time. Don't try to rush yourself into something like that."

"I know. It sounds like you have a friend in, what's his name, already?"

"Archie, and yeah: we talked a lot over the summer. He's very, ah, open. I guess you and Allen didn't connect?"

"The mail in Hoenn is awful, and I was preoccupied."

"With being terrified of him."

"Of who he could be, yes," Maxie groaned and buried his face in a couch cushion, "I suck."

"No. No you don't. Hey," she pulled his head back by the ponytail, "stop that, you'll suffocate."

"No I won't."

She released him, and his head immediately flopped back into the cushion. Len sighed.

"Ok you mopey baby, are we still on for the BBQ Friday?"

"The Frat bonfire? As long as we go together, sure."

Two jam packed days of orientation activities later, it was Friday. With all of the sports meeting and individual appointments, Maxie found that he had nothing to do until dinner that night. He quickly grew tired of sitting alone in the dorm and found his way out to take a stroll around campus. Nincadas hummed from the canopy of green that surrounded all the buildings and lined the walks, and, every once in a while, Maxie caught the flash of white underbelly from a tree hopping emolga. How nincadas had spread to this region, Maxie could only guess. He wondered in passing if Unova had to deal with shedinja husks scattered a foot deep every seven years like he had grown up with. The worst part was when a sentient pokemon was mixed in with empty shells and suddenly sputtered to life and into your face just as you passed by.

"Jeez, talk about a sad symphony. I guess they didn't get the memo that Summer's over, huh?"

Maxie blinked to find himself on the library's terrace, standing beneath a wide old tree whorled into a beautiful distortion. The stranger who had spoken was stretched out on a bench to Maxie's left, blue beanie cap pulled down over his eyes and crooked arms pillowing the back of his head. Maxie opened his mouth to speak but decided that the stranger was probably mumbling to himself. Instead of answering, he glanced up at the tree and continued on his stroll.

Archie sat up on his elbows and craned his neck to watch the weird redhead's sweater swaddled back retreat around the side of the library.

"Mew's tits… how in dist is he wearing a squirtleneck- it's hot as balls."

And it only grew hotter as the day progressed into evening, a bad habit of early fall. Why the fraternities would have a bonfire in the muggy grossness of an August twilight, none of the freshmen could even begin to comprehend. Maxie crunched along the gravel path up to the courtyard between the greek houses with his fists clenched in his pockets. If the heat had been drier, Maxie would have been much happier, but, as it was, he was struggling to keep his thick glasses from fogging up with the humidity. Unlike most of the other freshmen who traveled in loosely related packs wherever they went, Maxie found himself alone most of the time. It was only on arriving at the BBQ and seeing everyone surrounded by new or old friends, however, that he felt that familiar loneliness creeping down his throat and into his lungs. Where was Len? What if something had come up and she couldn't make it? He could always go back to his dorm, but AJ wouldn't be there and it would just be him staring at the wall for hours. So Maxie joined the end of the food line and piled two burger patties on his plate, wrapping them thoroughly in cheese before placing the combination between two buns. He didn't notice Len watching over his shoulder until she asked politely whether he was planning on leaving any cheese for the rest of them- at which point Maxie whipped around and nearly slapped her in the face.

"Don't sneak up on me like that! I could have hurt you"

"I uh, I'll keep that in mind. Sorry Maxie."

They paused for a moment before Maxie finally took a bite of his dinner and Len remembered herself.

"Right! You haven't met my room mate yet! Come on kid, we're playing ladder ball."

"Ladder what?"

The upperclassmen had set up an array of lawn games for their potential recruits including corn hole, a Frisbee game Len introduced as "canjam," Frisbee, volleyball, horseshoes and… ladder ball. Two golf balls connected by a length of cord which, when the tosser was successful, would wrap around a rung of the waist height pvc pipe ladder by the force of their own momentum. The whole setup reminded Maxie of the ancient pokemon hunting methods he had researched for class the year before. Hunters would throw bolas at their prey, usually aiming to bind the legs or wings which would send the monster crashing to the ground. Now it appeared that the old device had managed to worm its way into the recreational world. Maxie shivered.

"So the top rung is three points, middle two and bottom one, got it?"

"Seems simple enough. Which one is your room mate?"

"Over there."

Archie's gaze was preoccupied by the balls he was helicoptering around by the setup about twenty feet away from where Len and Maxie stood.

"Oh."

"You can be on the blue team with me, you just have to stand over by Archie and try to get the balls around my rungs after I throw, ok?"

"Ah, sure."

Maxie trotted off to the far ladder and found himself immediately ducking to avoid a golf ball to the head.

"Hoh geez! Sorry, haha are you okay? I'm so sorry man," Archie gasped, and a grin spread across his bearded mug, "You're the tree guy!"

"I- excuse me?"

"Hey Archie, Maxie, are you guys gonna go or what?"

"Hold that thought," Archie wound his arm back and chucked the bolo across the stretch, missing by ten feet and almost whacking a pink shirted sorority sister on the back of the head, "Haha, oops. Man, I love throwing stuff but I can't aim for shit. Your turn uh, Maxie, right? Haha, Maxie the tree guy."

"What are you talking about?'
"This morning: I was trying to nap and I woke up to see you just staring at a tree."

"Ah, so that makes you the 'nincada guy,'" Maxie launched his blue bolo at the ladder, aiming for the top rung and hitting the tree behind it, "Damn."

"Killer ponytail, by the way," Archie took his second toss, missing again, "What major are you?"

"I'm hoping to double major in geology and physics… what's so funny?"

Archie had clamped a hand over his mouth just a moment too late to catch his snort. As it was, he was having trouble keeping his body from visibly quivering.

"Nothing."

"Oh really," Maxie whipped his toss, knocking the side of the ladder,

"Yeah, it's just that… geology? Really? I always thought that was kinda pointless. I mean it's just rocks."

"Just. Rocks… Really, and what are you studying, if you have such an authority on science?"

"Marine biology and environmental science," Archie cocked his arm back again before noticing Maxie smirking, "What?"

"Oh, nothing. I should have known you were one of those."

"The hell does that mean?"

Another miss for Archie, this time Len caught it just before it would have struck her face.

"Arceus you two, be careful!"

"Nothing, just that everyone knows those majors are the catch all for partying lugheads."

"Oh yeah? In that case, physics is just perfect for somebody who gives zero fucks about the world he lives in, huh?"

Maxie's last toss whizzed backwards with a premature release and caught Archie square in the chest. Archie was left blinking away the black spots as Maxie grabbed the front of his tee-shirt and brought his face so close to Archie's that the heat of their breaths mingled into one helical coil.

"You don't know shit, meathead," Maxie hissed, "You don't know shit."

Maxie's eyes narrowed and he stood suddenly as if an arrow had pierced the small of his back. It took a moment for both of them to process what had just happened.

Len was calling from across the field.

"For fuck's sake you weiners! It's just fucking ladderball!"

"Right… I'm sorry. I overreacted," Maxie readjusted his glasses and shifted his weight, "I, ah, I'll just go back to my dorm."

Archie stayed on the ground as Maxie ventured over to Len to explain that he wasn't feeling well and was going to just head back.

"Hey, are you okay?" Len squatted next to her room mate.

"…His hands were shaking."

"What?"

"Nevermind. Just talking to myself. Interesting friend you've got there. Can you pass on a message for me?"

"Uh, ok?"

Archie flipped the bird.

"Nobody disses marine biology mother fucker."

And thus a rivalry was born.