'Can I buy you two anything?'
He addressed both of them, but stared only at Lucy. She knew him to see. He played in the Cavern sometimes with his band. She watched them on her lunch breaks and some evenings. They were good. He played the bass guitar. He watched her with glinting eyes.
'Slice of cake would be nice,' said Denise. Lucy shot her a look. Truthfully, she was in a foul mood and wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up with a book.
He strode up to the counter and came back with two wedges of chocolate cake. He winked at Lucy and she looked away.
'Thanks very much,' said Denise, aiming a sharp kick at Lucy's ankle under the table.
'Watch it,' snapped Lucy, glaring at her friend. Denise looked furious with her.
'I'm Paul,' said the boy, thrusting out his hand. Denise shook it.
'I'm Denise, and this is my friend Lucy. You'll have to forgive her, she's a grump today,' she said. Lucy hated Denise for embarrassing her.
Paul made idle chatter with Denise, but it was clear he was more interested in Lucy. He kept stealing glances at her as she ate her cake. Denise sensed this and made her excuses. Lucy stood to leave too, but Denise gently pushed her back down.
'No, you stay,' she said, and was gone before Lucy could protest. Paul slid into her seat and beamed at Lucy.
'Thought she'd never leave,' he said.
'That's my friend you're talking about,' said Lucy.
Paul's face fell and she felt guilty despite her sour humour. She forced a smile.
'Thanks for the cake,' she said. He picked a crumb from it and ate it, smiling once more.
'I've seen you playing,' she said.
'Oh, yeah? What do you think?'
'You're good,' she said.
'Only good?'
'Very good.'
He was charming, she had to admit that much. He had floppy brown hair and soft eyes which never strayed from her face. She was flattered.
'Do you want to go for a walk?,' he asked when she'd finished the cake. As they walked along the street, he slipped his hand into hers. She shook hers free.
'What do you think you're doing?'
He blushed.
'Oh, sorry...'
They walked on, Lucy hating herself for the heat that was bolting through her stomach. He walked her home after they'd sat in uneasy silence on a bench for a while.
'It was lovely talking to you,' said Paul, though they'd barely spoken since the awkward hand holding incident. Lucy nodded and went inside, feeling his eyes boring into her back. The next day, she met Denise at lunch and they headed to the Cavern.
'Thanks for leaving me in the lurch last night,' she said. Denise smirked.
'Oh, I didn't want to interrupt the lovebirds,' she said. Lucy frowned, but felt that heat in her stomach again. In the club, they wriggled to the front. By now, Lucy was accustomed to the stench of sweat, hair gel, and copious amounts of hair spray that had made her gag when she first started coming to the club the previous year. She was nineteen and worked as a receptionist in a dentist's surgery. The job bored her silly and she yearned to get away from Liverpool. Much to her shame, she felt the heat return to her stomach when the band walked on stage. They indulged in their usual easy banter with the crowd and played two or three songs before leaving the stage. Lucy was getting a glass of water at the bar and checking her watch when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
'Hello again,' said Paul. She smiled (too widely, she thought later).
'Hello,' she said. They talked with ease, Paul waving his arms to emphasise different points and Lucy laughing at his tales of his friend John's drunken escapades. Denise was buttoning her coat and scanning the crowd when she spied her friend. She smiled and slipped away.
'I have to get back to work,' said Lucy when she'd finished her water.
'Oh. Well, we'll be playing again tonight. Will I see you?'
'Maybe,' said Lucy. Her older sister Alice always told her to be as cold as possible with boys.
'That way,' insisted Alice, 'they'll want you even more.'
Paul hugged her briefly, but it made Lucy's heart hammer against her chest. She walked out into the stinging January wind, cursing herself for being so dippy.
'He's just a boy,' she said under her breath as she walked back to the office. At home that evening, she asked her mother if she could go to the Cavern later. Her mother frowned. Even though Lucy was nineteen, she was still very protective and strict. Her husband died years before and she'd raised her girls alone.
'I don't know,' she said.
'Oh go on, Mum,' said Alice. Lucy felt a rush of affection for her sister. Alice was twenty-four and married with a baby boy. She came for dinner every Tuesday to catch up with the family news. On the floor, her son Jack played with his wooden blocks.
'Alright, but be home by ten, mind.'
When their mother's back was turned pouring custard into bowls, Alice leaned in to Lucy.
'Meeting a boy, eh?'
Lucy knew there was no point lying. Alice always saw through her fibs.
'Yes.'
'Is he good-looking?'
'Yeah,' said Lucy. Alice hugged her sister.
'Tell me all the gossip,' she said.
Lucy met Denise at the corner and they walked to the club together. Denise had brought her boyfriend, Alfred, or Freddie as everyone but his parents called him. Freddie worked as an apprentice electrician. He was tall and wiry, and eternally good-humoured. He greeted Lucy with a peck on the cheek.
'I hear you've got a man after you, Lucy,' he said. Denise elbowed him in the ribs and he yelped.
'Denise been telling you that?,' asked Lucy, but she wasn't angry. The set was great fun. Afterwards, Freddie went to the loo and Denise and Lucy went to the bar. Once again, just as Lucy was sipping her drink, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
'You're going to have to stop creeping up on me like that,' she said.
'Sorry,' said Paul, but he was smiling at her. Denise tactfully made herself scarce.
'You were great up there,' said Lucy.
'Thanks. I'm glad you came.'
The heat was back. God, she was a silly fool. She was falling too hard for him. It was bound to end in tears. She made an excuse and hurried to the bathroom, leaving a confused Paul in her wake. She stared at her reflection. Her face was flushed from the heat of the club and strands of damp hair clung to her forehead. She ran her fingers through her hair and splashed cold water on her cheeks. Suddenly, she felt a finger jab her in the back. She spun around to face a blonde girl with features twisted in rage.
'Keep away from him,' she said. Her face was laden with make-up, her hair twisted into a high bun. She was wearing a black dress which clung to her curves, and knee-high black boots. Lucy would have complimented her on her fashion sense if she wasn't so hostile.
'I don't know what you mean,' said Lucy. The other girls at the sinks chose to ignore the confrontation. Girls squabbled over boys all the time in the Cavern. It was nothing new.
'You've been making eyes at Paul all evening. Keep away,' she said. She stormed out before Lucy could say another word. She felt tears prick her eyes and cursed herself for letting the girl upset her. Returning to Paul, she grabbed her coat.
'You're going already?,' he said, unable to conceal the disappointment in his voice.
'Have to.'
She found Denise and Freddie. Both were as puzzled as Paul.
'Has something happened?,' asked Denise.
'No, just have a headache.'
'Well, you're not walking home alone,' said Freddie. He walked her the five minutes back to her house, said goodnight, and headed to the Cavern once more. In her room, Lucy stared at her reflection again. With her limp hair and ugly dress, how could she compete with the blonde cow?
The next day, to her shock, Paul was standing outside the dentist's surgery when she got to work.
'Denise told me you work here,' he said, almost apologetically.
'Oh,' she said. She hadn't slept well the previous night and was irritable, and angry with Denise for blabbing.
'I was sad that you had to leave so soon last night,' he said. Despite her bad mood, she had to admit that he looked good in his black wool coat.
'Yeah,' she said.
'Look, I'm going to be late for work. I'll see you, yeah?'
She went inside. Paul drifted away, crestfallen. It was a week before Lucy felt like going to the Cavern again. At the bar, she tried to blend in with other girls so Paul wouldn't see her. The last thing she needed was that blonde girl to claw her eyes out. Then she saw them. Paul stood by the stage, looking uncomfortable. The blonde girl's willowy limbs were draped over him. Just as she was leaning in for a kiss, John appeared. He said something and Paul left. The girl looked incensed and stalked away. Lucy couldn't suppress a giggle. She was alone tonight. Denise was going to see a film with Freddie. She'd prodded Lucy for information all week, but Lucy had told no one about the girl.
She was finishing her ginger ale when she heard a voice.
'You're back.'
She turned to face him.
'Yes,' she said. Since the night with the girl, she'd tried to force herself to stop thinking about him. He was obviously seeing her, and she didn't want to interfere. Then again, Paul hadn't exactly been enjoying her company...No. False hope was pointless.
Oblivious to this internal conflict, Paul offered to buy her a drink. As much as she tried to deny it, the heat was back in her stomach. He leaned forwards to pay the barman and his arm brushed off hers. She gasped involuntarily. He looked at her, amused.
'I have that effect on women,' he said.
'Oh, shut up,' she said, grabbing her coat and leaving. He wasn't worth her time. Outside, knots of people chatted and smoked. The air was still and freezing, and she pulled her coat tighter around her. As she strode away, she heard Paul calling her name, but ignored him.
The next day, Paul appeared in the cafe when she was having tea with Denise. Again, Denise abandoned Lucy.
'What was all that about last night?,' he said. His tone was sharp, his expression harsh. Lucy was taken aback.
'You're getting snotty with me? What about you and that girl? She tore my head off last week for talking to you. Look, Paul, I'm not interested, so leave me in peace,' she said, her voice breaking at the last word as tears trickled down her cheeks. He leaned forwards and wiped one away with his thumb.
'I'm sorry,' he said. The other customers stared at them. Some sniggered. Lucy was embarrassed and longed to leave.
'Go for a walk?,' he asked. She nodded.
'I'm sorry about Jessica,' he said when they were outside.
'Jessica?'
'The girl who attacked you. You probably saw her all over me last night. She keeps flirting with me but I'm not interested,' he said. She snorted with derision.
'I'm sure you're not,' she said.
'I'm only interested in you,' he said quietly. He slid his hand into hers but she shook it away.
'I can't do this,' she said. She walked home in tears. A few people along the way asked her what was wrong, but she ignored them and buried her face in a handkerchief.
After a few days, Paul stopped turning up at work. Lucy was relieved, but also a bit disappointed. Clearly he wasn't as interested as he claimed to be. She was startled by someone grabbing her from behind walking home one evening. Yelping, she spun around to face Denise, who looked furious.
'What the hell is wrong with you?,' she asked, hands on hips and chin jutting out.
'Me? You're the one who crept up on me,' said Lucy.
'Yeah, well, I've just seen that Paul boy who won't stop sniffing around you crying in the park,' said Denise. Lucy felt a stab of guilt.
'Not my fault,' she said, wincing at her own unconvincing words. Denise snorted.
'Yes, it is. You've been rotten to him from day one.'
'I don't like him. What am I supposed to do, lie to him? That'd be worse, surely.'
Denise just turned and left. Lucy called after her but was ignored. She walked home with tears coursing down her cheeks. In her bedroom, she stewed. She felt bad for Paul, but she honestly wasn't interested in him. That warmth in her stomach was just daftness. It'd pass. She fancied him a bit, but she didn't want a boyfriend hanging off her. She wanted to get out of the city and she didn't need him holding her back.
The next night, Denise came round to apologise and to drag her to the Cavern.
'No way,' said Lucy, in her dressing gown after a bath. The thought of seeing Paul made her blood curdle.
'You're coming,' said Denise. Her stubbornness won out, as always. Lucy's teeth chattered in the biting wind.
'Bloody freezing,' she muttered. Denise ignored her. The Cavern was heaving with people. Lucy pushed her way through them to the bar. She was taking a drink when the band started up. She slunk to the back of the crowd so Paul wouldn't see her. Denise bopped to the music, grinning. Sometimes, Lucy hated her. Really hated her. Stubborn, bossy cow.
After the set, Lucy begged to leave.
'No, one more drink.'
Raging, she let Denise lead her to the bar. Once again, in his irritating way, Paul tapped her on the shoulder.
'Hello,' he said. She was taken aback by his appearance. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face was pale in the heat of the club. He pushed a lock of sweaty hair off his face. Denise slipped away, as always, the unsupportive bitch.
'Hello,' said Lucy, feeling pity for him, but wishing the ground would devour her whole. Just then, John appeared at Paul's shoulder. Lucy had never been so close to him. Unlike Paul, his cheeks were red, and he was grinning.
'Alright, Paulie, who's this then?'
'Lucy,' said Paul.
John stuck his hand out and Lucy shook it. It was clammy with sweat.
'Nice to meet you, Lucy. You the one who's been breaking my friend's heart?'
'I have to go.'
Grabbing her coat and not bothering to look for Denise, she ran. At home, she leaned against the door, gasping for air. She couldn't sleep, thinking about John's words and wishing Paul would sod off. His neediness was seriously unappealing. The next day, she couldn't concentrate at work and was scolded by the dentist on several occasions when she misspelled names on receipts. She greeted the weekend like a starving man greets a crust of bread. To her dismay, another friend, Rose, wanted to go to the Cavern. She was so sick of the fucking Beatles that she wanted to puke. If Paul ever tapped her on the shoulder again, she felt sure she'd punch him in the face. However, she liked Rose much more than Denise because she minded her own business, so she relented.
To her despair, Paul found her again. He really was quite the stalker.
'Please go out with me, Lucy,' he said, evidently having decided that caution should be thrown to the wind with reckless abandon. Rose watched, wide-eyed. She had been unaware of the Paul fiasco.
'No, Paul, I'm sorry,' said Lucy. That's when bloody John appeared again. He was angry.
'You're a bitch,' he spat.
'No need for that,' said a boy nearby who'd overheard. Other faces turned to watch the commotion.
'Fuck you,' said Lucy.
'What a lady,' said John.
'Leave her alone,' said Rose.
'Please, Lucy,' said Paul, grabbing her hand. She pushed him away.
'No. I said no. How many more times? No.'
'That's enough,' said the barman. John and Paul left, Paul hovering close to tears. The onlookers, bored already, turned away. Lucy felt adrenaline pump through her body, thrilled at her retort to John, and hopeful that Paul was gone from her for good.
'What was all that about?,' asked Rose. Lucy told her everything.
'What a creep,' said Rose. They left not long later. Lucy was fed up of the Cavern and vowed to never return. She watched the rise of Paul's band from her new home in New York. She had to admit that Paul got more attractive with age. Of course, she didn't tell her husband this, but she secretly pined for him and regretted ever rejecting him. She was crushed when he married an American woman in 1969.
'Should've been me,' she murmured, reading about it in the paper. Her husband looked up from his cereal.
'What was that, Lu?'
'Nothing.'
'Mommy, look,' said little Alex, throwing a paper aeroplane. Lucy kissed him on the head.
A few years later, Lucy reluctantly agreed to go to a Wings concert with her friend. She hated their music and clenched her teeth on the bus there. After the show, which she grudgingly admitted was good, she stood outside getting some air. People filtered out of the venue, chatting and singing. That's when she saw him. He was drinking a bottle of water, his shirt clinging to him with sweat. Before she could dart away, he spotted her. He frowned. He was hidden near the back stage area so Lucy was the only one who'd seen him. He beckoned to her and she approached him, fervently hoping that he wouldn't remember her. Oh please, no.
'Sorry to bother you, but you look so familiar to me,' he said, narrowing his eyes.
'Great concert you were good thank you very good,' she babbled. He smiled.
'Thanks. I see you're a fellow Scouser. Been in the States for long?'
'A few years.'
Then the realisation flooded his face and her stomach flipped.
'Lucy,' he breathed.
'Yeah.'
He shook his head in amazement. Then he smiled sadly.
'You broke my heart,' he said, his voice cracking. She felt terrible. Maybe she'd been too harsh in her younger days.
'I'm sorry, but you were very overwhelming.'
He laughed.
'Yes, I suppose I was. Sorry about that. But I really liked you. I loved you.'
Her heart fluttered at his words, her husband forgotten. He kissed her on the lips very briefly.
'Don't tell my wife,' he said.
'Take care, Lucy.'
When he'd gone, she leaned against the wall, sobbing. Her friend, Jan, was stunned when she found her.
'What's wrong, Lucy?'
'I broke his heart,' she said.