She didn't understand how this was meant to help her. She cried out for help and this was what she got, four room walls enclosed in her, giving her less space to breathe in than before. It was like a prison, set meal times, no personal belongings to take in with her, set times to be in her room and sleeping for. She didn't understand how this could possibly help her.
April Jeanette Mendez. Born and raised in New Jersey, transferred to Chicago's mental hospital from lack of spaces in New Jersey. She knew she was ill, mentally. She was out of control and in need for some one on one therapy, how was being closed in a room like an invalid meant to help her?
She'd been here for five months so far and she still didn't feel any better than what she came in. She was a pretty lonely person, probably why she was landed with this mental illness. She lived in a one bedroom apartment back in New Jersey, had a job at the cafe down below her apartment. She didn't speak to her parents, they claimed to not know who she was anymore and she could never forgive them for turning their backs on her. She had no friends, she liked to be alone at one point in her life but everything was just building up and got too much, she needed help and was going to take it while it was there.
And here she was, sitting on her single bed in the tiny worn out room, no technology, just a bed and a bathroom. She was asked so many times about how this illness was brought on, but everyone knew that mental illnesses weren't symptoms of things, they just appeared, some people got through them, other people didn't.
She wasn't sure on how long she was meant to stay here for, until she felt better she supposed, but at this rate, that was going to be a long time. She'd always been a pretty confident woman, she could go up to a strange guy in a bar and ask for a dance, she could tell things to people's faces, she was a forward person but over the last few months she had felt so closed in on her own world, like it was her against everyone and she needed out.
She watched slowly as her room door opened. She tucked her hands up her baggy jumper sleeve and stood up, estimating that it was round about time for 'free time' as they called it in here. In other words it was a certain amount of people being allowed to go into the community lounge and watch TV for two hours or play with other technology.
She walked out of her room and headed down the narrow corridor, everything so shut in and closed, walking into the room that she actually felt quite free and open.
She told herself that it was her previous relationship that turned her into this, the walking into her room and catching him with another women, but maybe she would have turned out like this anyway, she never really was stable. It started off with her feeling sad a lot and then feeling extremely happy out of nowhere, she took to her wrists for the pain. She tried to find ways to help her, like lying down in a dark room and breathing in rhythm, listening to music, trying to find friends, but nothing ever worked, it had gotten to a point where she couldn't help herself.
She walked over to the comfy couch in front of the TV, a few other people sitting on it, sitting down in the corner and tucking her legs under her, looking up at the TV, not paying attention to the rest of the room.
She was small, brown haired, glasses, tanned and had a beautiful smile… which was rare to see at this time in her life.
She was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, she was just waiting for it to disappear one day so she could go home to New Jersey.
"You watching this?" A voice came from beside her as she turned to the man sitting fairly close beside her.
"Yeah." AJ nodded to him, telling a lie, she wasn't really paying attention to the TV, she was now paying attention to the man beside her, his eyes were so attractive, so green and pure while his small smile showed his beauty. He looked normal, which was a stupid thing to say, but in a mental hospital, she didn't expect so many normal looking people to be in it.
"Alright." The man nodded, in hopes to turn the rubbish off that she was watching, turning his head back around to the TV.
He looked completely fine, she looked at the insides of his wrists, nothing, nothing but ink was portrayed all up his arms, his sweat pants lay loose around his legs as did his worn out t-shirt. She wondered why she hadn't seen him around, she'd gotten to know the familiar faces.
"Are you new?" She asked curiously and quietly, not wanting to be nosey, but wondering how she could have missed someone like him being in here.
"No." The man shook his head, "I changed rooms." He said, having being swapped from the opposite side of the hospital to this side.
"Oh right." AJ understood, nodding as he looked away from her again.
He definitely seemed lost in some way, like he was confused. He was the first person she actually felt bothered to talk to, everyone else just wanted to share feelings with her that she couldn't care less about.
"Why are you here?" She asked him curiously.
"God, you're worse than my therapist." The man groaned as he rolled his eyes back and sat up on the couch, "I'm depressed so they decided to send me to a place filled with equally depressed people and lock me in my room for the majority of the day." He smiled her way.
She smiled at his smile, her stomach churning as he looked into her eyes, he felt exactly how she did about this place, finally someone who she could talk to.
"Why are you here?" He asked her, "You don't look like you've got anything to be sad about." He said, watching her just laugh quietly to herself.
"Wish I felt how I looked then." She said, "I'm depressed and have anxiety problems, I blame the world." She said.
"So do I. The world is a filthy place, it's a filthy goddamn horror show." He turned his nose up, "What's your name?" He asked her curiously, really interested in her, her agonizingly fake smile that made his stomach do flips, her natural beauty shining in the room full of everyones dark souls.
"April. Call me AJ." She said, watching him nod.
"I like April." He whispered.
AJ didn't know what this man was doing to her insides but for once she actually had a hint of excitement and joy in her stomach, not feeling that bottomless empty feeling like normal, everytime he smiled at her or fluttered his eyes her way, she became hot inside, he was intriguing her with every small movement he made.
"What's your name?" She asked him.
"Phil. Call me Punk." He said, watching her nod.
"I like Phil." She whispered, watching him just laugh to himself. She was something, he didn't know what yet, but she was something worth a lot, she was beautiful and it was people like her that was crying out for real help but wasn't receiving it.
Phil Jack Brooks. Punk to those close to him. He never guessed he would end up with depression and in a mental hospital, but just goes to show anything can happen to anyone. He had a job, a house, a steady relationship, his friends and he lost it all. He lost his job which lead to him losing his house which then lead to him breaking up with his girlfriend from embarrassment, she wasn't interested in him anyway, not as a person, she was just interested in his money and his dick in her mouth. He'd gone to live with his friends until he got back on his feet and that's when everything started, the deep mood swings of feeling so shit and low, his friends calling him useless and attention seeking. He had no choice but to ask for help in here.
"Why are you depressed?" He asked her curiously.
"I don't know. It just hit me out of nowhere. Loneliness I guess." She shrugged, still not really understanding why she was cursed upon feeling like this, she was yet to find out the answers, "What about you?" She asked him.
"Lost my job and things just took off." He said, "This place is a mess. I don't know why I bother with it." He said, thinking so many times about just discharging himself or just getting up and leaving.
AJ just studied him closely. There was something mystical and enticing about him, just looking at him done things to her, his croaky voice along with his rough appearance, his stubbly beard and slicked back hair under his cubs hat, his wicked smile breaking waves inside her. She hadn't been so interested in another man like this since her previous relationship, she promised after that she would never trust another man again but she already trusted this man, even if she hadn't told him anything to trust him with yet.
"Can I turn this shit over?" He asked her again in a sort of 'friend' way now and not politely like the first time, knowing she wasn't watching the TV all along.
"Yeah." She smiled, passing him the remote control as she felt his hand latch on to hers through taking the remote, watching him look up at her as he felt her soft hand caress his one, quickly detaching from her and taking the remote, a smile edging his mouth towards her as he turned his head back around to the TV, pointing to the TV box and changing the channel while he seen AJ at the corner of his eye, staring at him with lust.
She was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on and in this freak show of a hospital, she didn't belong, her hair looked so soft and touchable, like he could run his hands through it all day, her glasses fit her frame in a way but yet he'd love to take them off slowly and caress her lips softly.
For one, he was definitely glad he got moved rooms in the building, he liked this girl, he didn't know her yet, but he liked her, he could tell he was going to like her even more when she became herself around him, he wasn't buying this shy act just yet.
AJ sat huddled in the corner as she stared over at him dreamily, he was so calm for being in a mental hospital, he didn't look sad or depressed, then again, no one ever did. She could feel herself really tripping up over his love and falling right into his arms and she wasn't even scared.
10 REVIEWS = New Chapter.
I said I would take a break and I upload the next day, alrighty then. Anyway, this idea came to me and I was scared incase I forgot about it so I began writing and just got carried away. Nothing really interesting in the first chapter but REVIEW and tell me what you think, tried to make it different again from my other stories so I hope you enjoy!