Hi Sweethearts! It's been a while since I updated anything! Yesterday I wrote a short one shot so here we go, I hope you like it!
All spellings mistakes are mine!
Fire meet Gasoline.
Please not again, not tonight.
Those are the thoughts that run through my mind when I look at the Clock for the 100 time in the last 2 hours.
He's not home, again.
I stand up with a sigh and start cleaning up, I throw the food, his favorite food that I made in the trash. I blow out the candles and put the dishes in the dishwasher and the cake in the fridge
it's been the same scenario for almost 3 months now.
What happened to us? I ask myself as I trace my fingers over the tattoo on my wedding finger.
I met Edward at the tattoo parlor in town when my best friend Alice got her first tattoo. Most people start with something small but Alice isn't one of them. She wanted her whole back tattooed with the fairytales of her childhood but not the sweet princesses in there pink dresses no, she wanted "Art".
The tattoo artist named Aro didn't understand what she was talking about and she had asked him to look at her and to tell her what he saw. Aro described how she looked and Alice shook her and smiled "Tell me what you see on the inside." And a true masterpiece was born. Alice back is now covered in branches, leaves, thorns and the heads of the princesses Alice wanted with eyes of demons and scars. It was perfect for her.
You see Alice never knew her parents, they had given her up for adoption when she was born and she was put in the system going from foster home to foster home. She's been through hell in these homes until the Brandon's adopted her. She was 12 at the time and she had seen things and been true things no kid should ever go through. She found a true family with the Brandon's and I've met her on my first day of High School, we have been best Friends ever since. So that's why I needed to go with her to the tattoo parlor until her "artwork" was done.
And that's where I met him, Edward was the Guy who sat in the chair across from us and I was intrigued by the tattoos on his body, there was no place on his chest neck and arms that weren't covered in ink but still he sat in the chair for more art on his body. So when Alice was being tattooed I was looking at Mr. Art. I was disappointed when Alice tattoo was done because that meant that I wouldn't see Mr. Art anymore. I was waiting outside the parlor for Alice who was
paying Aro when Mr. Art stepped outside and lit a cigarette. He was wearing a white t-shirt and now I could see the art on his arm more clearly and it was beautiful. Diamonds, Roses, spider webs, lightning strikes and more beautiful drawings covered the skin on his arm
I was pulled from my thoughts by a chuckle from Mr. Art. I moved my eyes from his arm to his face and was met with green eyes and a Beautiful Smile.
"Planning on getting one for yourself shug?"
And that's how it started. We started talking and I found out his name was Edward and that he was 27 years old, 7 years older than me. We became close friends until both of us couldn't ignore the feelings we had for each other anymore and started dating. Edward and his brothers opened a garage and I finished college. We bought an apartment together and that's when Alice and Jasper became a couple, Jasper was everything Alice needed and I couldn't been more happy for her.
Edward and I we're dating for 2 years when he asked me to marry him.
"I'm almost 30 so it's about damn time don't you think?" He said with tears in his eyes and a wide smile on his face when I said yes.
We didn't wanted a ring because Edward needed to take his of when he worked in the garage so I got the idea to tattoo them. We went to the tattoo parlor where we met and got our wedding bands tattooed and it meant more to me than any diamond because this was something we couldn't take off anymore.
Now here we are 2 years later, the garage is doing great, I'm working as a teacher in kindergarten, all the people I love are happy. But I'm sitting here alone on Edward's birthday. Waiting for my now 31 year old husband who isn't going be here for dinner like he's been doing for the last few months
Edward always had to work long days but he always had put his family and friends first, hell he always put me first but lately he started to act distant.
He's gone before I wake up or he barley talks to me during breakfast and the same happens when he comes home. Most of the nights I'm already in bed when I hear him walking through our apartment before he goes to the bathroom. When he's done he slips under covers, turns his back to me and falls asleep. And the weekends are now for his mates. This has been going on for months now and I lost count of how many nights I cried myself to sleep.
I hear the front door slam shut and I look at the clock and see it's almost midnight before I see Edward walk into the kitchen. He sees me sitting at our kitchen table and walks to the fridge.
"What's for dinner?" He asks with his head in the fridge.
"Nothing."
Edwards head snaps up. "What do you mean nothing, you've already eaten right?
"It's in the trash, I wasn't hungry anymore." I said getting angry. Edward slams the door of the fridge shut and walks to me.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He's almost yelling at me and that's when I snap.
"What the hell is wrong with me?!" I stand up and slam my hand down on the table. "You said you would be home around 7 so I've been sitting here the whole god damn time waiting for you to come home so I've thrown it away! Where the hell have you been hu? I've been cooking and baking the whole god damn day for your stupid birthday and you don't find it necessary to come home, or call me you couldn't make it. So what the hell is wrong with you?"
Edward has a look of surprise on his face because I've never yelled at him like this but the surprise quickly changes in anger.
"I went out with the boys for my birthday, I didn't know I needed to ask permission for this! What the hell is wrong with you lately! I'm so tired of this shit!" Edward says before he turns around and walks to the living room.
"So you are tired hu?" I ask running after him.
"Do you even know how I feel?! You're never home Edward!" My voice drops and my anger at him is replaced by hurt and he must have heard it because he turns around so he's facing me.
You're never home for dinner, or when is the last time we've seen a movie together or talked about something? I don't even see you in the morning when I wake up because you are already gone!"
"It's my job Bella! My job is to work in the morning until fucking midnight, I can't do anything about it." He yells clearly annoyed with my words.
"I get that you need to work and that things have been busy at the garage but don't tell me you need be there 24/7! That's bullshit Edward and you know it, Emmett and Jasper never go home that late!" Take a day off, damn it. Make some time for us!" I yell and Edward takes a step closer to me.
"You know what Bella, I'm so done with your shit! This is life so stop acting like a god damn kid!" I take a step back at his words but he isn't done yet
"And you know what people have warned me about this! They told me you were too young for me but no, I wouldn't listen to them I thought you were mature enough to deal with this, to deal with life. Life isn't about playing house with someone Bella! So stop being so fucking clingy and grow up!"
His words cut through me like knifes, I was always worried about our age difference but Edward always assured me that he didn't care.
"It are only 7 years shug." He had said when we first started dating.
I guess he was lying.
My eyes fill with tears and I quickly turn around so he can't see them.
"Where the hell are you going, we're not done here!" He yells coming after me.
I don't answer him and walk to the front door before I pull it open.
"Bella!" Edward yells but I slam the door shut behind me and walk to the elevator. Edward doesn't follow me and I don't know if I should be relieved or hurt.
The cold winter air hits my face once I'm outside and I curse myself for not bringing a jacket. It's too cold to stay outside so I start walking. It takes me an our before I'm in town and I don't feel my fingers or toes anymore but that's when I see Jane's dinner. I quickly make my way inside and my whole body relaxes when warmth surrounds me.
There aren't many people inside but it's almost 1 in the morning so I'm not surprised.
I sit down in a boot at the back and I'm greeted with Jane's smiling face.
"Goodnight darling! What can I get for you?" Jane is one of those people who can make you feel better with just her smile and two simple words, that's one of the reasons the whole town comes here to tell her there problems. One of her many beauties, you can trust her.
Just a coffee and a piece of your chocolate pie." I say while putting a fake smile on my face.
Off course she saw right through me.
"How come Edward didn't join you? You two lovebirds are always here together? Oh that's right isn't it his birthday today?"
"Well actually it's past midnight already so it was yesterday." I say joking.
Jane smiles and gives her order to Jessica before she joins me.
"Do you know it's not nice to laugh at old ladies?" She asked with that playful twinkle in her eyes.
"You're right, I'm sorry ma'am." I say bowing my head and we both start laughing.
Jessica arrives with my order and also hands Jane a coffee.
"Now tell me what's wrong sweetie." She says once Jessica is gone.
"It's nothing, I was craving some pie." I take a bite from the Chocolate pie and almost moan at the taste.
"Darling I may be old but I'm not stupid, you and Edward used to come here almost every single week, it's been months since I saw you two and know your here on your own, on his birthday, in the middle of the night. With no jacket in December. So don't tell me there's nothing wrong darling. I can see that you have been crying."
She looked at me with loving eyes and for a second I wished that I could talk to my mom about these things.
So I spilled, I tell her everything from the months of feeling unwanted until the fight we had today. Jane listens and never interrupts me.
"I don't know what I did wrong, I don't know how to fix this." I say ending my story.
Jane takes my hand in hers and squeezed it.
"You know people never say how hard loving someone is. You can love someone so much that it hurts but it's also hard work. You need to talk to each other."
"How can we talk when he's never home?" I ask her while Jane wipes the tears from my cheek.
She takes my face in both of her hands "Do you love him darling?"
"More than my own life, I just don't know if he still loves me." I whisper but Jane smiles.
"You see a fire can be strong and beautiful but after a while it's stops burning, it dies. But sometimes fire meets gasoline, the gasoline makes the fire stronger, more beautiful, the gasoline makes sure that the fire doesn't die. If you love him everything will work out. Now you need to go and talk to him. Explain how you feel. Just talk, keep the fire burning. He'll understand!"
I thank Jane and try to pay for the coffee but she tells me it was on the house tonight. I hug her and thank her again before I make my way back home.
It's almost tree in the morning and i'm frozen when I arrive home. I slowly close the door behind me and make my way to the living room where I hear Edward talking to someone.
"No she still isn't home, why the hell do you think I'm calling you?"
Edward is walking in circles pulling at his hair, he always does this when he's nervous.
"I don't know that's why I'm calling!" He yells before he turns around and sees me, the look in his eyes changes and he tells the other person on the line that I'm back before he hangs up.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"At Jane's, I was hungry." I answer him.
Do you know what time it is? I've been worried sick, calling everyone hoping you would be somewhere."
"Oh right now you're worried?! Well welcome in my word! I have been feeling like shit for months and know you–"
Edward's hands grab my arms and pulls me against him stopping my angry rant.
I burry my face in the crook of his neck, my favorite place on earth and his arms pull me closer.
Home.
Tears fall from my eyes. I missed him. My whole body starts shaking and Edward kisses the top of my head.
"Shh it's okay shug" He whispers but it's not, nothing is okay.
"What did I do?" I whimper. "What did I do wrong, why don't you love my anymore?"
Edward's whole body tenses at my words and he takes a step back so he can look at me.
"Bella what the hell are you talking about?"
More tears fall from my eyes and I bow my head so I don't have to look at him.
"I… I just wish that, even for just one day you'd spend time with me. I want to see you in the morning, still asleep next to me, I want to stay inside the house all day with you and I want to be able to sleep in your arms at night... like we always used to. But now we never get to do those things anymore because… you're being so distant." I look up at him to see him looking at me with mixed emotions on his face.
"It's been months since you told me you loved or touched me, Ju... Just tell me what to do, I'll change I promise. Just please don't leave me." I whimper while bowing my head again.
"No, no, no, Bella, no. Look at me!" He says grabbing my chin in one of his hands lifting my head so he could see my eyes.
"Shit what did I do, fuck I'm an asshole! Bella I love you, I love you, please tell me you know that?" He's face is filled with pain. I couldn't answer him so I looked away
"Fuck!" Edward yells before turning around slamming his fist against the wall. I jump at the sound and grab his shoulder trying to pull him away.
"Stop! Edward Stop please!" I say while pulling at his shoulder.
"Just stop okay? Please, I'm done fighting. I'm tired." My whole body is shaking with sobs and I need to lean against the wall for support.
Edward see's this and quickly puts his arms around me leading me to the couch and sitting down with me on his lap.
I burry me head in his shoulder and let the tears fall while Edward wraps his arms around me.
"I'm so tired of everything." I whimper.
"Shhhh it's okay, it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he whispers in my hair. We sit there for a while and my breathing gets back to normal. Edward's hands are drawing soothing patterns on my arms and now we are sitting there in silence.
"I'm sorry." Edward whispers again and the crack in his voice makes me look up, the tears in his eyes tug at my heart.
"Edward." I whisper while I trace my fingers over his face. He close his eyes for a second.
"I'm such an asshole, I'm sorry, I'm so god damn sorry Bella." He says opening his eyes again.
"It was never my attention to make you feel this way, to hurt you. I... I thought I was doing the right thing by working so hard, we've wanted a house for a while and it stung that I couldn't give that to you. I wanted to make you happy so I worked harder but look what I did." He says cupping my cheek and I see tears in his eyes.
"I threated you like dirt, I made you feel unwanted. Jesus Christ you think I don't love you anymore but I do. I love you Bella. And all the shit I've said before it's bullshit! I didn't mean it. I'm sorry I've hurt you. I'm so sorry, I'll change I promise. I'm telling Emmett and Jasper that I'm going to work from 9 to 6 like I did before. I'm going to be home every night just... Just please forgive me, I-"
I cut him of by wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you too."
He sighs and wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry."
"Me too." I say as I lean back to look at him.
Edward cups my cheek before his lips touch mine for the first time in months, my god I missed him.
The kiss was slow and sweet both of us saying sorry without words. Edward slowly pushed me on my back and I pulled him closer before I wound my hands into his hair. Moments passed and our lips never left each other long, only breaking for air. I gasped as I felt Edward's lips on my neck and his hands under my shirt, I sat up only long enough to pull it off and toss it away. Edward looked at me with love in his eyes. I took the hem of his shirt in my hand and he helped me pull it off, slowly the rest of our clothing disappeared.
God I wanted him.
"I missed this" I whimper as his lips kiss the spot behind my ear.
"Me too." He says before he moves his lips down my neck to my breast sucking on my nipple. My back arched of the couch and I moaned.
I ran my fingers over his inked chest. "Bella" he groaned against the skin of my neck.
"Edward please." I whimpered, I needed him inside of me.
"What do you wan't shug, tell me." He says grabbing my legs so he could pull them around him.
"I need you." I say when I felt him at my entrance before he slowly slips inside me and suddenly everything that happened didn't matter anymore.
We both moaned when he was fully inside, he kissed the top of my head, my lips, my neck and I laughed when his beard tickled my skin.
Edward smiled and kissed me again before he pulled out slowly and then pushed back in. I moaned and wrapped my legs higher around his waist making him go deeper.
"Fuck Bella." He groans before he starts moving faster and harder.
A gasp leaves my lips and I arch my back of the couch, digging my nails into his back.
"Harder." I plead is I felt myself getting closer. Edward groaned and trusted harder in me before his hand reached down to play with my clit.
"Aaah fuck!" My head falls back on the couch and my nails dig deeper into Edward's back.
"That's it baby come for, come on my cock." He groans as he trust even harder in me and that's all it takes before I scream his name.
"God damn it. Fuck Bella!" Edward groans before he collapsed onto of me, burying his face in my neck.
Both of us are panting and I run my fingers through his damp hair. Edward lifts his head at my touch and kisses my lips.
"I love you." He whispers and I smile.
"I love you too."
Edward moves us slowly so he's lying with his back on the couch and I'm on top of him. I pull the blanket that's on the couch over us and glide my fingers over the tattoos on his arm until he takes my hand in his planting a kiss on my wrist and tattoo.
He lays my hand back on his chest where I can feel his heartbeat and he kisses the top of my head.
"Shug?"
"Hmmm?" I answer too tired to speak.
"I'm sorry, for everything I-"
"Shh" I say cutting him of. "It's okay."
I lean up so I can kiss him again. We'll get through this, wa always do.
"Happy Birthday old man." I whisper against his lips and a soft chuckle leaves his lips as I lay my head back on his chest.
"I love you." He says again and it's the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.
Jane was right, sometimes fire meets gasoline.
Thank you so much for reading!
I hoped you liked it! :)
Lots of love, Sylvie xx