Mr. Shuester walked into Glee club expecting to see the usual groups but this time Rachel was sitting with Brittany, Santana and Sam. Santana was on one side on Rachel; Sam was on the other with a protective arm wrapped tightly around her. The other change was that Finn and Quinn were sitting together; Finn had that dopey look he always had on his face with his arm slung over the back of Quinn's chair. Mercedes and Artie also sat with Quinn looking at Finn with confusion because he wasn't Quinn's boyfriend and he never asked to sit with them. There were also neutrals like Kurt, Tina, Blaine, and Mike who looked nervously between the two groups.

The most peculiar thing Mr. Schue noticed was that Rachel's group all had an intense emotion at something, Rachel was dejectedly looking down at her lap but she would occasionally laugh at something Santana or Sam would say, mostly when Brittany said something to her. Whenever her eyes would water Santana would squeeze her hand and smile lightly at her. Santana glared angrily at Quinn who kept shooting Rachel a sad look but Rachel wouldn't meet her eyes. Sam was glaring daggers at Finn who kept fidgeting, and Brittney's glare was directed at her un-tied shoes, sometimes up at Finn (Brittany claimed that Finn gave Lord Tubbington his first cigarette and now he was addicted, also the keys to her diary.). Mr. Schue almost chuckled at that, almost. He was still much to confused.

"Alright Class, does anyone have anything they would like to sing?" Mr. Schue looked at Rachel but she just looked down and folded her hands, out of the corner of his eye he saw Quinn timidly raise her hand, "Quinn, the floor is yours," he sat next to Finn and let Quinn take the floor,

Quinn smiled lightly, "Hi, I know that some of you hate me at the moment," she looked to Santana, Brittney, Puck and Sam, "and I know most of you know that I used to be with," she paused and took a deep breath steadying herself, "Rachel, until I went and messed it up, so I wrote this little song, Rachel this is for you. This is me saying sorry, I'm so, so sorry." Quinn shuffled over to the band and gave them sheet music the music starting up,

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.

Quinn took a deep breath giving herself a once over before heading out, she was going to see Rachel. That is after begging endlessly, she knew she deserved it… Before she knew it Quinn was at the coffee shop Rachel decided to meet her at, she quickly rushed over and sat by Rachel almost as if she thought someone was going to take the seat,

"Hey Rach," Rachel smiled tightly and nodded at Quinn, who was wracking her brain searching for something to say, "So, how's life, your dads?" Quinn looked at Rachel with curious eyes and placed her hand on Rachel forearm noticing her wince from the touch,

Quinn quickly dropped her hand and grimaced because it hurt so, so much that she hurt Rachel so, so much.

You've been good, busier then ever.
Small talk, work and the weather
your guard is up and I know why.

Rachel smiled brightly but Quinn could see through it... it was fake, no one else but Quinn have noticed, "I've been good, my dads have been excellent, thank you for asking, you know Glee and our junior year, then I have my AP classes, the AP teachers have not let up on tests, so I've been really busy. Sam has been amazing through it all though, he helps me study and we practice for Glee together so I really can't complain."

Quinn forced a slight smile upon her lips as Rachel mentioned Sam, "So, how long have you both been together?"

Rachel eyed Quinn warily hesitating before answering her, "almost a month."

Quinn's smile faded as they fell into an uncomfortable silence. Desperate, Quinn brought up the only thing she could think of, "So, this weather, it's weird right?"

Rachel nodded and looked away, "yeah..." Rachel trailed off uncomfortably, "Why did you really want to see me Quinn?"

Quinn folded her hands, "I was wondering if you'd think about giving me a second chance, I... I'm sorry for what I did, for what I said. I miss you, Rach." Quinn gave Rachel the shy smile that used to make her swoon, only now Rachel just straightened her posture and detached herself from the situation.

"Don't mean a fourth of fifth chance?" She asked harshly ignoring Quinn's flinch, "I don't think so Quinn, you cheated on me, on my birthday no less! But I forgave you, on our anniversary I had an extravagant day planned just for you and you spit in my face for it, and I forgave you again! Then you turned around and broke up with me, the things you said to me, about me..." Rachel took a deep steadying breath, "We are done Quinn. We have been for a long time; you need to get it through your head that you're never getting me back. There is no more us, goodbye." Rachel stood and began to walk away,

With tears in her eyes Quinn caught her arm, "Why does that sound so final?" she asked brokenly,

Rachel paused and clenched her eyes shut to stop the tears would inevitably come, once she had composed herself she yanked her arm out of Quinn's grasp, "That's because it is, goodbye Quinn."

Cause the last time you saw me
is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

Rachel watched as Quinn walked towards her cheerios skirt swaying slightly and Rachel couldn't help the large grin that spread over her face she still couldn't believe she was dating the Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader and most popular girl at McKinley High School. Although no one other than the Glee club knew (that is after hours of begging on Rachel's end) Rachel was okay with that as long as Quinn loved her she was happy... as long as Quinn was happy. Once she saw Quinn was close enough to see Rachel produced a dozen roses from behind her back and smiled brightly.

Rachel ran up and met Quinn from where she was and gave her an enthusiastic hug holding the roses out for her to take, "Hi Quinn," Rachel whispered happily her eyes shining with joy, offering the flowers to Quinn.

Quinn gave Rachel a tight smile and plucked the roses out of Rachel's hand and nodded, "What are these for?" Quinn questioned,

Rachel pulled back and faltered but smiled brightly anyway, "Just for being the best girlfriend in the whole entire world,"

Quinn nodded and gave another tight smile to Rachel, "right," Quinn paused then suddenly became angry, "I thought we agreed to keep up appearances at school, it needs to look like we hate each other." Quinn hissed at Rachel,

Rachel looked at her nervously, "I- I just wanted to…" Rachel sighed heavily, "never mind,"

Quinn shoved the flowers back to Rachel, "here take these,"

Rachel gaped at Quinn slightly and pushed the flowers back into her hands. "Keep them, if people ask just say that new kid Sam gave them to you, okay?"

Quinn glared, "No, not okay. I don't want them," she hissed beginning to walk away she stopped and turned to look at Rachel,

Rachel looked at her with pain in her eyes, "what's wrong with you?" she asked softly, "Did I do something wrong? I'm so sorry, if I did."

Quinn softened slightly, "No, you didn't do anything wrong"

Rachel smiled slightly, just a small upturn of her lips, "Do you want to come over?" Rachel looked at Quinn with hope shining brightly in her eyes,

Quinn shook her head, "I have to do something, see you later." Rachel have her a pained smile a leaned in to give her a kiss but Quinn moved away and turned to leave. When Rachel exited the school she saw Quinn's car begin to drive off, the flowers she had gotten Quinn thrown carelessly on the concrete dropping near her car, apparently Quinn didn't care if she saw when she threw them out along with Rachel's heart, she didn't care apparently. Rachel saw the roses float to the ground and picked them up gently and tucking them under her arm walking off in the other direction, her face contorting in pain and a singular tear sliding down her cheek, she couldn't believe Quinn forgot their anniversary.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

Quinn attempted to make eye contact with Rachel but she refused to look up and meet her eyes, pointedly keeping her eyes locked on her lap. Rachel would occasionally glace up but only to receive reassuring smiles from Sam, supportive looks from Santana and she looked at Brittany once and burst out laughing at the face Brittany made to try and cheer her up (she hadn't looked at Brittany again because of the chastising look gave her). It was when none of them were looking that Rachel would regain the heartbreaking expression on her usually happy face. Tears began to build in the back of Quinn's eyes, stinging them. It was then when she realized just how much she had broken her, how much she had broken the only person she had ever truly loved, the person she still loved.

Quinn watched as tear slipped out of the corner of Rachel's eye she saw Sam lean forward and tilt Rachel's head towards himself softly giving Rachel time to pull away if she wanted to, she didn't. Rachel leaned her head forward a little more and softly met Sam's lips. Quinn's heart cracked and tears streamed down her face just a bit more as she watched someone who wasn't her comfort Rachel, someone who wasn't her kiss Rachel. Someone who wasn't her love Rachel watched Rachel love someone who wasn't her.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving,
when your birthday passed and I didn't call.

Quinn sighed when she got a text from Sam asking her why she wasn't at Rachel's birthday party, Santana (who had grown to love Rachel as one of her best friends), Kurt, Brittany (who also asked her to bring a duck) and Puck had all called or texted her asking where she was and why was she not at her girlfriends birthday party, Quinn had ignored them all. Rachel had just turned seventeen and she just couldn't bring herself to actually want to go, she was in love with Rachel but she was disgusted with herself for what she had become. This is why she was currently sneaking out of Finn's house (who didn't care that Quinn had a girlfriend, and didn't care that he was helping Quinn hurt and cheat on Rachel.)

Quinn jumped in shock when someone called her name, she turned around quickly taking in the sight of Kurt, "Hey Kurt." Quinn said nervously,

Kurt eyed her suspiciously, "Quinn..."

Quinn looked away from his imploring eyes, "So, what are you doing here?"

"I live here and had to pick Rachel's present because I forgot it, enough about me I believe the better question would be why are you here?" Quinn opened her mouth to respond but he cut her off, "actually I'm more curious as to why you aren't at Rachel's birthday party, she is your girlfriend."

Quinn's eyes winded with nervousness, "Oh, um, I was just on my way."

Kurt saw the lie and shook his head, "Bad answer. Why are you even here again?" Quinn looked away from him knowing what a horrible liar she was, realization became apparent in Kurt's eyes, "You... cheated on her didn't you?"

Quinn snapped her head up, "No I-"

Kurt cut her off by holding his hand up, "Don't lie darling, you're not very good at it. How far did you go and don't even think about lying."

Quinn felt tears burning in the back of her eyes, "I... we made out, he took my top off."

Kurt gave her a disgusted look, "How could you do this to Rachel? You know if you were confused Rachel would have given you space, she loves you why she does is beyond me though, you're horrid to her." Kurt walked off and got back into his car,

"Kurt, wait." Quinn ran to the side of Kurt's car,

Kurt shook his head and started the engine, "Don't think Rachel won't find out about this."

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized that I loved you in the fall.

Quinn and Rachel were driving in the middle of nowhere, lost. They were lost but they just couldn't bring themselves to care as long as they were with each other, as long as they had each other.

Rachel giggled slightly, "I thought you knew where we were going,"

Quinn smiled over at her, "I do, I swear. We're just having some minor setbacks. I'm the best at reading directions, the best I tell you."

Rachel let out a loud laugh and in between giggles began speaking, "Please Quinn, you're as good as reading directions as Finn is at dancing."

Quinn looked over at Rachel and laughed along with her Quinn's heart literally skipped a beat at how beautifully happy Rachel looked simply how beautiful she was all the time. Quinn pulled over to the side of the road figuring they should just stop instead of getting lost even more, "It looks nice here." She stated looking around taking in the big tree in the center of the field with an assortment of colors the leaves were,

Rachel stopped laughing and looked around, "It's beautiful." Rachel looked over at Quinn, "Race you to the tree!" she shouted jumping out of the car and taking off running laughing all the while,

Quinn began laughing as well and jumped out of the car, "No fair you got a head start!" she shouted after Rachel, when Rachel passed the tree she looked at her uncertainly, "Uh, Rach? you passed the tree." She shouted to a still running Rachel,

"I know," Rachel threw over her shoulder pausing where she was, "Come on Quinn, catch me." She shouted and began running again.

Quinn laughed and sprinted after Rachel, eventually catching up to her. Once Quinn was in reaching distance of Rachel she reached out and caught her by the waist and pulled efficiently stopping her. Rachel quickly lost her footing and tripped bringing Quinn down with her, Quinn landed on top, Rachel under her.

Rachel laughed again, her eyes sparkling up at Quinn. "You're welcome for cushioning your fall."

Quinn smiled at her and tucked a loose lock of hair behind Rachel's ear gently, "Thank you," She whispered softly,

Rachel's smile was all the answer Quinn needed, they locked eyes a feeling that Quinn had never felt filled her entire being, "I love you." She whispered to Rachel her eyes expressing what she had just said, expressing all the love she felt for the girl below her,

"I love you too," Rachel whispered and leaned up softly connecting her lips to Quinn's,

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.

Rachel slumped down on her bed, "I don't get why you're doing this, Quinn."

Quinn sighed and glared at her, "I'm breaking up with you get over it."

Rachel looked up at her in agony, "Why? You love me, I know you do. I love you." Rachel stood up and took her hand,

Quinn snatched it back quickly, "Don't fucking touch me!" She shouted at Rachel, "You're sick, a sick disgusting dyke you brain washed me! I'm not gay and I don't love you, I'll never love you! I hate you!" Quinn shouted angrily nearing Rachel who was backed up against the wall. Quinn was sure that this was not her; it was almost as if she was being possessed by her bigot father and he was speaking for her.

Rachel's eyes filled with hurt, "You don't mean that, I know you don't. You love me."

Rachel's statement angered Quinn even more, she didn't know what was wrong with her, "You don't know anything, I don't fucking love you, alright? Get through your fucking head, you bitch!" Quinn shouted at the top of her lungs, her eyes flashing with unexplained anger.

Rachel cowered away from Quinn, "Stop." She whispered, "You don't know what you're doing." It was the first time in Rachel's life when she was actually scared of Quinn.

Quinn laughed harshly, "Oh I know exactly what I'm doing just like you and your faggot fathers did when you brain washed me!" Quinn shouted instantly regretting it. The hurt look on Rachel's face woke her up and sent away away the horrible monster that possessed her, leaving the real Quinn.

Rachel's eyes hardened, she could take verbal abuse but when her dads were brought into it was too far, "Get out." She stated coldly,

Quinn shook her head, she couldn't believe she had said that. Hiram and Leroy acted more like dads than her real father did and she had just cruelly said the most offensive thing she could say about them to Rachel. "I... I'm so sorry."

Rachel moved forward and began roughly pushing Quinn, "I said get out! I never want to see you again Quinn Fabray!" Once Rachel had her out the door she pushed her once more causing Quinn to fall down. Rachel glared disgustedly down at her and slammed the door in her face, "Get out of my house! I hate you!" Rachel shouted through the door and at Quinn,

Quinn looked at Rachel's door with regret and quickly got up and ran out of the house,

So this is me swallowing my pride,
standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time

The first time Quinn had apologized Rachel, it was rough, not good enough to gain her forgiveness. It took Quinn forever to gain the courage, motivation, to even try and talk to Rachel; Fabrary's were very prideful people. Quinn thought that once she broke up with Rachel she would be her old self again, but she wasn't. Without Rachel, Quinn was the most miserable she had been in her whole entire seventeen years of existence. So that was why she was standing on Rachel's front porch about three weeks after she had broken up with her, ready to apologize with flowers and the works.

Quinn rang the doorbell nervously and heard 'just a minute' float through the door. She smiled involuntarily when she heard Rachel's voice. In the next minute the door was flung open and Rachel was busy taking off her apron so she didn't notice Quinn."Hey S, Sam, Br-"Rachel finally looked up, the smiling instantly dropping off her face, "What are you doing here." Rachel asked coldly,

Quinn's smile faltered, she had not expected that, "I... these are for you." Quinn said nervously offering Rachel the flowers, purple hyacinths. "They mean I'm sorry." Quinn paused and took a deep breath, "And I am. I'm so sorry about what I did Rach, I regret it so much."

Rachel glared at her and opened her mouth to say something but calls of 'Rae!', 'Short stack!', and 'Rachy!' interrupted whatever she was about to say. Rachel looked passed Quinn and smiled, the first genuine smile Quinn had seen since she got there, "Sam! S! Britt!" Rachel shouted happily,

They all walked up to the porch and were all giving Quinn dirty looks, the new kid Sam walked up and discreetly bumped his shoulder on Quinn's roughly but not too roughly because she was still a girl and he was still Sam, he then leaned over to Rachel and captured her lips with his. Quinn was shocked, she had heard rumors that they were dating but they never held hands or kissed, at least Quinn never saw them. Santana was walking behind Sam with her pinky linked with Brittany's and not so discreetly shoved Quinn with her hand and 'accidently' stepped on her foot, and luckily for Quinn the meanest Brittany could get to being mean was glaring and that was exactly what she was doing to Quinn.

They all began speaking with each other, pointedly ignoring Quinn and moved inside slamming the door in her face. She saw the door begin to open again and hoped it was Rachel, it wasn't. Santana stepped out and closed the door behind her, "I just wants to say if you're here to fuck with Berry some more I won'tz hesitate to go all Lima heights adjacent on your scrawny white ass." Santana said menacingly and glared at Quinn crossing her arms and daring her to say something, anything, so she could attack her.

Quinn sighed, "I just came here to apologize, can you give these to her?" Quinn asked pointing to the flowers she had gotten Rachel,

"Sure," Santana said shocking Quinn when she took the flowers from her, Quinn slightly smiled in appreciation, Santana laughed. "You actually though I was serious, tubers? Like hell I would let you even an inch near Berry. I don't like what you did to her, alright? No me gusta!" Santana then threw Quinn's flowers on the floor and stepped on them opening the door and stepping back inside, not without flipping Quinn the bird first.

Quinn sighed and turned around to walk home, first she placed the letter she had wrote Rachel in her mailbox, praying that eventually she would get it. If not, she would just have to try again, Rachel had to forgive her, Quinn would do everything in her power to get Rachel to forgive her.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry.

It was raining and Quinn had no idea where she was going, she was walking around without direction. When she realized where she was she smiled slightly in amused and looked at the warm and welcoming house she had become a frequent guest at. Quinn became startled when she heard her name being called out in confusion.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked when Quinn didn't respond, "Quinn, you're soaked. Come on let's get you inside you must be freezing." Rachel worriedly wrapped an arm around Quinn's shoulder holding the umbrella above her head and began tugging her inside.

"No." Quinn said and sat down on the curb, "You go inside; I'll leave in a bit just give me a minute."

Rachel shook her head and dropped the umbrella, if Quinn was going to endure the rain, so would she. "I'm not leaving you outside by yourself Quinn. What's wrong?" She asked gently and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

Quinn looked up at her and hesitated before answering, "My dad." Quinn said softly, "I saw him today; I went to talk to him because I missed him, but the things he said to me..." Quinn then broke off into sobs shocking Rachel because it was the first time she had ever really seen Quinn cry, "I just feel like such a disappointment to everybody, like no one loves me." Quinn whispered out between sobs.

"Oh Quinn..." Rachel said sadly and brought her into a hug gently stroking her hair and whispering reassuring words into her ear, "I love you, your mom loves you, my dads love you, all of Glee club loves you. Don't ever for one second think that no one loves you." Rachel pulled back slightly from Quinn and lifted her head so that she could meet her eyes, "I love you, Quinn Fabray. You are my everything; you mean the world to me, if you ever feel unloved just know I will always love you, no matter what." Rachel leaned in and lovingly kissed Quinn.

Quinn pulled away and gave Rachel a watery smile, "I love you too, Rach. Thank you, for everything."

Rachel smiled sweetly at Quinn, "Your welcome, I will always be here when you need me Quinn,"

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Quinn's shoulders began to shake with silent sobs again, so Rachel pulled her into her arms and held her close, willing to protect Quinn from anything and everything.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
so if the chain is on your door, I understand.

Once Quinn went to try and apologize to Rachel again but her father, Leroy, answered the door. Leroy was the one Quinn used to joke around with and talk with, he was basically the father she never had.

She gulped when he stared at her with a blank expression, "Hi, Leroy."

His cold expression remained and he coldly said, "Its Mr. Berry to you, only my daughters friends call me Leroy."

"I'm sorry Le-... Mr. Berry I came to apologize Rachel about how I acted."

"She's out with Sam, I would invite you in to wait but I wouldn't want you to think that my 'faggot' husband and I are attempting to brain wash you again." He said angrily,

Quinn's jaw flapped like a drowning fish, "I'm so sorry Mr. Berry I didn't mean it when I said that."

Leroy stiffened, "Go home, Quinn." He then promptly closed the door on her.

Quinn walked back to her car and sat a few minutes when she heard voices, it was Rachel and Sam talking on the front porch, Quinn decided to listen.

Rachel smiled up at Sam, "I had a great time, the play was wonderful."

Sam smiled back, "Yeah, I'm not even into that stuff but going with you actually made me enjoy it."

Rachel stopped smiling and looked up at Sam with a look she used to only use with Quinn, "I love you." She whispered softly,

Sam smiled brightly, "I love you too." He then leaned down and kissed her it was a soft kiss but Rachel quickly depended it, Quinn couldn't take it anymore and quickly drove off. She drove and drove until she couldn't she passed the onslaught of her tears anymore and sighed, it was her fault Rachel was in the arms of someone else... her fault. If Rachel were to ever give her another chance she would treat her right, she'd love her right. But she couldn't, she was too late.

But this is me swallowing my pride,
standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

All the time

Quinn finished and wiped her tears quickly, "I'm so, so sorry." She whispered again to Rachel who had her fingers interlaced with Sam's, "I love you." She whispered to Rachel and Rachel only and sat in the back corner of the room away from Finn,

Mr. Schue stood up and clapped forcing the rest of the club to awkwardly clap along with him, except Santana, she didn't clap and when Mr. Schuster looked and her and pointed to everyone clapping she just glared at him and secretly flipped him off , "All right, great work Quinn, Now this week we will be working on..." Quinn tuned him out and looked down at her binder, in it was a picture of her and Rachel hugging, she didn't know for how long she had zoned out but the next thing she knew Puck and Lauren were sitting back down and the club was whooping loudly for them even Rachel who was laughing loudly, apparently Puck and Lauren's performance was amusing because everyone else was laughing as well,

Mr. Schue stood up again, "Alright well I think that's it, you guys are free to go. Enjoy your weekend!" He shouted as he exited the room,

Quinn didn't want to leave so she stayed where she was and pretended to slowly be gathering her things, when she heard musical laughter that she would be able to hear a mile away she looked up and saw Rachel on Sam's back and Santana on Brittany's with Puck shouting 'ready, set, go!' and they all took off leaving Quinn alone in the choir room by herself with her thoughts, without Rachel. Quinn felt sick, Rachel didn't even talk to her about the song, she knew she deserved it though... Quinn stood up dejectedly and left the choir room. By herself...

XX

That night when Quinn lay alone with her thoughts and only her thoughts. She knew she would jump back in time in a heartbeat and change it but she couldn't, she wished every single day that the night she forever ruined her relationship with Rachel never happened, she wished she wasn't so scared, but most of all she wished for Rachel's love which she knew she would never have again.

Before she went to sleep Quinn played back her favorite memory causing tears to spill hot and fast down her cheeks.

Quinn and Rachel were lying down on Rachel's bed turned on their sides facing each other, "I'll never love anyone like I love you Quinn Fabray, you're my forever," Rachel whispered softly, lovingly never breaking eye contact with Quinn.

"Forever," Quinn repeated and smiled kissing Rachel," you're my future, I love you. I'll never let you go."

"I'll always be yours" Rachel said sweetly and connected their lips again, "Forever and always."

Hey first time writing a GLEE fic and it was actually really fun sorry for the not happy ending, anyway review and feel free to leave criticism Thanks!