WARNING: one-sided femslash (girlXgirl).
Set during Basic Straining.
I won't tell you whose point of view this is, but I can tell you this- it's not Duncan.
I stood outside the cabin and watched her. She had just thrown up, but the thought hadn't even registered in my mind. In my mind, she was flawless. I could see her, but she was too far away. I wanted to walk over there, grab her, and hold her forever. It was strange- I didn't usually like people. But I respected Courtney. I respected her drive and determination to win, how she never gave up. When I saw Duncan go for her, I was pissed off. I hadn't understood my thoughts at the time. I was thinking, What makes him think he can approach her? I mean, he's not even her type. She likes level-headed winners. People who are like her. She likes people who are like me. I hadn't understood why I was so jealous. And then I got it- I love her. And, on that night, with the moon shining brightly and the stars reflecting off her hair, making it shimmer... I shook my head. I needed to get together. I needed to focus, pull on my 'I'm-so-much-better-than-you" act. I needed to tell her I loved her. But before I could...
Duncan was talking to her. And he was using his looks and greasy charm to sway her; make her fall for him. I sneered. Douche bag. My jealousy and rage burned; what made him so damn special? What made him great enough to have her? She was much too good for him. Hell, she was too good for any of us. A goddess among those who think themselves demi-gods. Inside me, my adoration and respect and love for made me think she would never hurt me, that she was mine... I just needed to collect her. I had her already. But I was wrong.
My torture escalated... She kissed him. She kissed him, not the other way around. Tears stung my gray eyes. She walked away from him, smirking, over to near me. But she didn't notice me. She never notices me. I ran behind the cabin and collapsed, sobbing and shaking violently.
"Courtney... Wh-Why him? Why n-not m-m-me?" I screamed at the pain, gasping for breath in-between my sobs. My dark hair stuck to my tear-stained face and my hands were freezing as I held myself in a useless attempt to stop shaking. It felt like my body had collapsed in on me. It wasn't fair! I loved her! I wanted her more than anyone! Preps aren't supposed to like bad boys! Preps fall for preps! Ugh! It didn't make sense. I thought I had her...
"OMIGAWD!" Lindsay ran toward me, "What's wrong, Heather?" she tried to lift me, but I swatted her away like the fly she was. An annoying blond mosquito. I was probably the same in Courtney's eyes. Just a bitchy mosquito she can swat away.
"Go away! I hate you and I hate Duncan and I hate this whole fucking island and this whole fucking show! Leave me alone!" I ran into the woods— only to collapse and cry more. I couldn't tell if my heart was beating anymore. Why would it when the only thing it had to beat for was gone? In love with someone else?
I didn't want it to beat and I didn't want to breathe and I didn't want to exist and I didn't want to have anything but her in my arms. Never. It was never going to happen. I let out another loud sob. Why bother hiding my misery? It's not like anyone cares aboout me anyway.