AN:Just a short little fic I wrote because it's Valentine's Day.
Secrets of the heart.
This was going to be a brilliant morning, with a wide grinned face Rusty looked at the bouquet of roses, he had placed prominently in one of the crystal vases, Sharon loved so much. She wouldn't be able to miss them and he couldn't wait to see the expression on her face. Would she blush? Most definitely, her little secret coming out and all…Or maybe she would act like nothing happened.
That sounded a lot like something Sharon would do as well. Just keep quiet and deny anything special had happened. He hadn't been around on precious Valentine's Days, but Sharon seemed to lead the life of a nun, he doubted this was something which happened to her often. So who could she be dating?
The water of the shower had stopped running a few minutes after he had accepted the flowers, from the delivery guy. She could come out any minute now. He loved to tease her.
High heels clicking in a familiar rhythm on the floor announced her presence. Rusty took a bite from his scrambled eggs, grinning while he studied Sharon's expression. This was going to be good.
Sharon wrinkled her brows. That grin on Rusty's face. She loved and feared it. She loved to see him happy, at ease. It meant he felt home, causing a warm fuzzy feeling in her heart. He deserved to have a real home for once. Unfortunately that grin almost all the time meant he'd found something to tease her with. He loved it when she felt uncomfortable.
"What are you so happy about this morning?"
Sharon smiled following his gaze from her to the subject of his amusement. There was a huge bouquet of red roses, prominently displayed in one of her crystal vases.
"That's sweet, someone send you flowers on Valentine's Day."
Rusty frowned, a bit surprised Sharon actually realized it was Valentine's Day, today. Rolling his eyes because she assumed they'd been for him. was she keeping up with the act? Did she knew for sure her lover wouldn't send her any flowers? He could imagine she'd pressure whoever it was to keep it silent. He almost pitied the guy. He'd probably believe he'd score some points with her by sending her these flowers, not the lecture he'd receive instead.
"They're not for me, Sharon."
He dragged out her name. Rusty frowned when he saw her amazement.
"The card, it says, 'Sharon Raydor', that's you."
She raised her eyebrow, as that grin of his reappeared on his face again. Sharon tried to ignore his expectant gaze while she walked over to see the card for herself. There it was the card with her name on it. She didn't recognize the handwriting.
She inspected the card.
"It doesn't say who it's from."
"Of course not, Sharon. It's a Valentine's gift, there's not supposed to be a name on the card. Geez, Sharon, did you never date?"
Sharon smiled a bit secretive. 'Dating', the word seemed so foreign to her. Jack had been the first man she had seriously dated and she had married him. after the separation…well, she was a married woman.
Jack. Of course. He either had gambled again, won and in his festive mood had sent her these. Or what was even a bigger possibility, was that he'd probably got drunk and in an over emotional state of mind, reminisced their marriage and decided to send her flowers on Valentine's Day.
Sharon sighed as she walked over to the vase, picked up the flowers and walked away to throw it in the dustbin. Rusty looked horrified as he saw her throw away the beautiful flowers.
"What are you doing that for?"
Last thing she wanted today was to be reminded of her failed marriage. Jack's sudden return had already caused enough chaos between her heart and her brain. After he had left again, it had taken her weeks, before she had been able to put him back into that little compartmentalized room inside her heart and mind. She would not have him break out of it again today. A tight smile formed on her lips as she turned back towards Rusty.
"Have you finished your breakfast? I've got a huge stack of paperwork waiting for me at the station."
Rusty could only look confused. This wasn't really the reaction he had expected. Did she knew who the flowers were from? Was she hurt by the guy? Or was she just angry? He knew by now though that Sharon was too private to give him any answers.
Sharon could feel a gaze upon her. Her eyes looked up from the paper in front of her. Through the blinds of the narrow window next to her door, she met the gaze of warm brown eyes. Three times she had already caught him staring at her today. Each time his eyes had darted back on his paper in front of him. Too fast to know whether he'd been staring at her, or that their eyes had just happen to meet. This time he maybe hadn't been fast enough.
There was a strange look in his eyes, dreamy, not the way he used to look at her at all and that sullen smile, that was new too. What was up with that? Sharon didn't know what was going on with Andy Flynn lately. His behavior was odd to say the least.
She had known Andy for years. Sharp eyes, deep frown, he had hardly smiled at her, except when it had been a sarcastic one. Or of course when he'd been laughing at her expense. She never had to wonder about how Andy Flynn would approach her, as it would always be with some form of hostility. That was something she could deal with, anticipate on, but lately she did not know how to deal with him anymore.
He seemed distracted. His mind often elsewhere. Still whenever she turned around he'd be there. Always on her trail, finishing her sentences, seeking out her presence at the work floor, voluntarily teaming up with her.
The first day they had worked together he had yelled at her. These days she'd caught him grin, because of the way she'd handle a case or a suspect. She was grateful they had warmed up to her. They were finally a team. Even Provenza seemed to like her at some times. But Andy's behavior had been strange. Not even to mention he had been very enthusiastic to take her to his daughter's wedding, or the way he had been out of focus for an entire day, when he had asked her to go to the Nutcracker…And now this, the staring. He had stared at her before, had just been too late this time to hide it, she was positive.
This time she had caught him stare. She looked a bit confused, somehow that softened her green eyes, giving her a certain vulnerability. Sharon. He had caught himself calling her by her fist name on a regular basis lately, maybe because he saw more of Sharon than of Captian Raydor. She wasn't anything like the woman he had believed her to be.
She wrinkled her brows, that kind of looked adorable. Why couldn't he look away from her? Why couldn't he stop thinking about her? His mind should be with the papers on his desk . somehow it kept travelling to what she was wearing and thoughts about those long legs underneath her desk. He imagined what they felt like. How it would be to have his fingers travel up and down her legs.
'Stop thinking like that Flynn. She's looking at you. She'll be able to tell.'
He smiled at her, he had to. A dreamy smile. He couldn't help it. Whenever she looked at him his knees would weaken. When had this happened? What had exactly happened? He wasn't even sure about that. She had offered to be his buffer on his daughter's wedding. She had caught him by surprise with that offer. It had warmed his heart, looked at her in an entirely different way. But what had made him walk into her office that day in the first place?
She had crept upon him and he hadn't even noticed it. Some part of him was still in denial. He had asked her to go to him to the Nutcracker, because of this lie to his ex. Why had he told her Sharon and he were serious? And was it just because of that lie? Or was it because he couldn't stop thinking about her anymore? Fact was he'd look at her, he'd think about touching her. He wouldn't have to think about her like this, when it was all about the lie to his ex and him trying to rebuild the relationship with his children. He definitely wouldn't have had to send her the flowers.
What had he been thinking again when he had decided to send her flowers? A thank you for everything she'd done lately, for her support, her friendship? Sounded reasonable if he had sent her the flowers a week ago, but he hadn't, he had sent her flowers today, on Valentine's Day.
Would she suspect them to be his? How would she react to that? Sharon had told him she was his friend. Did you send your friend flowers on Valentine's Day? This suddenly had turned into a mess. His eyes darted back to the paper in front of him as fast as he could.
Provenza studied Flynn, for the fourth or fifth time he'd been staring at the Captain's office. lately he'd been behaving strange. He followed her around like some puppy dog, and he was calling her 'Sharon' all the time. Like she was his new best friend or something. It slightly nauseated him.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"Hm?"
"What's with all the staring?"
"Do you send your friend flowers on Valentine's Day?"
Provenza frowned, what was he talking about?
"I don't particularly like flowers."
"I don't mean you, I meant Sharon."
Provenza's eyes widened, swallowing some bile away.
"Sharon?"
"Yeah. I send her flowers… you think that's weird?"
Provenza raised his eyebrow.
"I think that sickens me. What were you thinking? Sending her flowers? On Valentine's Day?"
Provenze hissed the words with a flushed face, his white hair making it look bright red.
"And why are you calling her your friend?"
"Well, Sharon…"
"Will you stop calling her that?"
"What?"
"She's our Captain."
"She isn't only our Captain. She's really nice when you get to know her."
Provenza rolled his eyes.
"She is.. She went with me to Nicole's wedding and she went with me to that Nutcracker thing."
Provenza shook his head. Somehow his partner had lost his wit.
"Maybe you should begin asking yourself why you'd want to go anywhere with her in the first place."
"You don't know her."
"I don't want to know her. So to answer your question, yeah sending her flowers is weird on Valentine's day or any day for that matter."
Provenza shook his head, walking away from his desk, he had to get some air.
Still thinking about his conversation with Flynn, Provenza stood at the coffee machine. Lost in thoughts he hadn't heard her enter.
"Hello Lieutenant."
She quirked her eyebrows as he startled.
"Are you alright, Lieutenant?"
"Yeah fine."
She knew that grumble by now. Provenza was a bit grumpy, nothing new, she had gotten used to his particular mood. There wasn't always a direct occasion for him to be like this, but maybe this had something to do with Andy's strange behavior.
"Is everything alright with Lieutenant Flynn?"
She tilted her head. Was Flynn alright? No. He had lost his mind. Flynn believing Sharon Raydor was his new friend. She was his boss, their Captain. She had been forced upon them. She gave them hell during her days in FID.
He missed his buddy in crime. They had always agreed about who the enemy was. He had always been able to count on Flynn to make Captian Raydor as uncomfortable as possible. Now he was following her around all the time, staring at her, sending her flowers and this time it most definitely wasn't a prank….but she didn't know that, did she? A grin formed on his lips.
"He seemed a bit absent-minded to me."
That and the staring into her office, but she wouldn't mention that to Provenza, this conversation as awkward enough already. Provenza smirked.
"He's probably just wondering whether you've figured it out already."
Her eyes widened a bit, she looked confused. He smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. This was going to be good.
"Did you like the flowers, Captain?"
A low rumble escaped his mouth as he snickered. The look on her face was priceless. Her cheeks blushed a bright red, although her eyes seemed more like those of a deer staring in the head lights.
Provenza's smile, clear amusement. He had known something she didn't, the flowers were Andy's. This had been nothing but a prank. Tears stung her eyes as she bit her lower lip. She slowly swallowed the bile that had formed in her throat. She believed she hadn't been able to feel worse than this morning, when she had believed Jack had send her the bouquet. This was worse. Her heart clenched.
She believed Andy and she had gotten along better lately. The days of the nasty remarks and snickering behind her back were in the past. They worked together and they had managed to build a mutual respect for one another. At least that's what she had thought.
This hurt, it felt like she had been stabbed in the back by Andy and Provenza had just twisted the knife. She clenched her hands to her sides, trying to keep them from trembling.
Andy looked up as he heard the clicking of her heels, he wanted to say something, but held back as she seemed upset. The color drained from her face, her hands had slightly trembled. He was still confused about this sudden change when he watched Provenza walk back in with this huge grin on his face. Had he upset her?
"What's wrong with Sharon?"
Provenza only smiled. There would be no answers coming from him. he might not be sure about his feelings for Sharon, but he knew he didn't like to see her upset. Friends were there for one another, weren't they? Andy took a deep breath before he stood up and walked to her office. He knocked one time, not waiting for an invitation in.
He saw her standing in front of the window, staring outside.
Sharon wiped away her tears. Trying to gather herself before she turned around.
"Are you alright, Sharon?"
She bit her lip, feeling new tears welling in her eyes.
"Lieutenant, what can I do for you?"
Andy looked concerned. One look at her and he got his answer, she definitely was not alright. In two steps he stood beside her.
"Hey…"
He touched her shoulder. Andy looked surprised as she moved away from his touch as if he had burned her. He wasn't sure about the look in her eyes, pain…betrayal, yes that was it. Her emotions were so close to the surface, he could feel them himself. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms, tell her it was alright. That's what friends did, didn't they?
"Sharon?"
"Lieutenant, you better return to the case, we all have a lot of work to do."
All of a sudden there was no more warmth in her radiant green eyes. They were cold. He had seen her like this before. Most of the time when FID had walked into a crime scene he was on. Darth Raydor, that's what they had called her. He hadn't seen that look in a long time. They were a team now. Sharon wasn't anything like that. So what had just happened? He wasn't going to get any answers from her, she had clamped up like a hell. Provenza, he'd give him the answers, even if he would have to beat them out of him. He had something to do with this sudden change in her.
Sharon looked up as her door opened, she didn't believe she could handle Andy a second time, without bursting into tears. She smiled as she saw it was Rusty.
"Hey Sharon."
"You're early."
"Math teacher went home sick."
"Hm."
Rusty looked around.
"Did you throw them away here as well or did your secret lover only send you flowers at home?"
Sharon froze. It didn't take long for Rusty to tell he had said something completely wrong.
"Sharon? Sorry, it was just…I'm just teasing you a bit."
"Go do your homework, Rusty. I won't be long. I'll finish these at home. I need a warm bath."
"Sorry. "
Sharon shook her head.
"I'm okay."
Rusty stared at her, she definitely was not. Her voice was shaky, her wanting to go home early, she was upset. Sharon didn't talk about her feelings though.
Provenza saw the dangerous glimmer in Andy's eyes, he was angry hauling him up from his seat, dragging him to the hallway.
"Easy, easy, what's gotten into you?"
"What did you say to her?!"
"What?"
"Sharon! What did you say to her? She was fine earlier and now she's upset. You came back right after, with that grin on your face. I know you, you said something to her. Now what was it?!"
He didn't believe he had ever seen Andy this angry with him.
"I was just teasing her a bit."
Andy narrowed his eyes.
"Alright, alright. She was wondering about why you were so absent-minded and whether something was wrong with you. I reassured her you were fine, that you were probably just wondering whether she had figured it out already and then I asked her whether she liked the flowers."
Andy looked shocked.
"You made it sound like it was a prank."
No wonder she had looked that upset.
"Well it was something you would have done in the past. You know before you lost your wit."
"Damn it Provenza."
"Sending her flowers on Valentine's Day sounds like a great prank."
Rusty stared in shock.
"Those flowers were yours? You send her flowers on Valentine's Day as a prank?"
Rusty looked sick to his stomach. No wonder Sharon was in such a rush to get out of here.
"That's sick… And you? You believe it was fun? You hurt Sharon very much. I can't look at the two of you anymore."
Andy grimaced as Rusty walked away. Now he believed it was a prank as well. He would never hurt her like that, not anymore. He cared too much about her. He didn't want to see her hurt. How was he going to undo the harm Provenza did? She would not believe him, their past had been too painful for that. If he hadn't hurt her before, she wouldn't have had such a strong reaction now. Just telling her it wasn't true wouldn't do it, as he seriously doubted she'd believe him.
The warm bath had been very relaxing and Rusty had pampered her with her favorite food. She must have seemed like a mess earlier, if he'd feel this bad about teasing her. It hadn't been him. It had been Andy. How was it that he had managed to hurt her this much? He had caught her off guard. She had allowed herself to relax around him, just be Sharon. Rusty pulled her from her thoughts.
"Would you like me to make you some tea or warm milk?"
She smiled taking his hand in hers, inviting him to sit down on the couch with her.
"You're very sweet…It's okay, I'm not upset, because you teased me a bit."
"I know, you're upset because Lieutenant Flynn was an insensitive…"
"Rusty."
She looked stern at him.
"Fine, but I believe it was very low to pull such a prank on you. I believed you were friends."
Sharon smiled sad.
'So did I.'
When he had finally had the courage to walk to her office and talk to her, she had already left. Gone home early. She seldom did. Why did this have to turn into such a mess? He owed it to her to explain it all. He hadn't meant to hurt her. Provenza had been the one using the opportunity, but if he hadn't sent her the flowers and told him about it, he'd never had the chance.
That's why he was standing in front of her door now. He had probably circled her apartment building for about an hour. Was this the wise thing to do? She was upset, so should he visit her now at home, invading her private space? Maybe he should just talk to her tomorrow at the office, but wouldn't it make it worse to wait another day? He for one wouldn't be able to get any sleep. He didn't want her hurt. That's what had brought him to her front door.
Rusty's expression turned dark as he saw Andy in front of him.
"I don't think Sharon would like to see you now."
Sharon walked towards the door.
"Rusty, who's….?"
For a moment they stared at one another. Andy took her presence in. Her hair slightly messed up. Her eyes more vulnerable as there was no trace of Captain Raydor. Her dress replaced by a t-shirt, jeans and a cardigan. He liked seeing her this comfortable.
Rusty looked worried at Sharon, her feelings were so close to the surface. She could get easily get hurt. He looked angry at Andy.
"You better leave."
"Rusty.."
Sharon's hand touched his underarm, smiling encouraging at him. she could protect herself.
"Lieutenant Flynn, what can I do for you?"
She had called him by his first name so often lately, that it felt foreign for her to call him upon his rank. It created a distance he didn't like.
"I wondered if we could talk."
She gave him a curt nod, before she turned to Rusty.
"I believe you still had some learning to do for that test?"
"Just call when you need me."
Now there was a genuine smile on her face, touched by how much Rusty cared about her.
There was an awkward silence while Rusty walked to his room. The bouquet of roses caught Andy's eye, she had thrown them away.
"Seems like a shame to throw away such pretty roses."
He slightly smiled, he had tried to break the tension. Sharon just stared at him thought, the pain now so obvious in her yes.
"Look I don't know what Provenza told you, but I didn't send you those flowers to hurt you."
"Then why did you send them? You believed I'd think it was funny?"
"It wasn't a prank."
His voice was a bit harsher than he had intended it to be. He was so frustrated though. He had no idea how he was going to convince her. Getting frustrated with her, wasn't getting him anywhere though, it wasn't fair either. He softened up.
"I shouldn't have told Provenza… I'm sorry."
Andy was telling her the truth. Provenza had used this information to get to her and she had let him. He knew how she would react, what she'd think. He hadn't told her it had been a prank, she had assumed that herself. Somehow she exposed more of her vulnerable self to Andy, maybe it was because he was acting so strange, he brought her off-balance with that behavior.
Why had he asked her to go to the Nutcracker with him? Why was he so absent-minded, staring at her all the time? And why exactly had he send her these flowers?
"Why did you send me the flowers?"
Her voice was soft, the pain in her eyes replaced by amazement.
Why had he send her the flowers? How could he answer that question if he didn't even know himself?
"Well I uhm.. I wanted to thank you."
"Thank me?"
"Yeah, you know…for all your support. For being my buffer on Nicole's wedding.. for going to the Nutcracker with me."
She had this amazing smile on her face. She wasn't angry anymore, she was his Sharon again.
"I love weddings and ballet. You didn't need to thank me for that."
"I wanted to. You've been a good friend, Sharon."
She smiled, walking to the dustbin to retrieve the flowers. She wanted him to know she hadn't thrown them away because of him.
"I didn't throw them away because of what I believed you did. I already threw them away this morning. I believed they were Jack's."
Andy walked to the kitchen. There had been a certain sadness in her voice.
"There was no name on the card." Sharon smiled. "The next time you would like to thank someone it might help if you put your name on the card."
"The tradition says you shouldn't."
Sharon raised her eyebrows, surprised. Andy believed she looked adorable like this, so he smiled, happy they were alright.
"What? You can send a friend flowers on Valentine's Day."
Andy still wouldn't look at Provenza. He didn't like to think about how upset Sharon had been because of him. He was relieved everything had turned out alright. Last night they had just talked and laughed. Laughed some more as Rusty had eventually come from his room in utter amazement. Poor kid. Sharon had explained she had made the wrong assumptions. Rusty had been a bit skeptic, but he believed the kid was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Unlike Provenza, who he ignored completely. He deserved it.
It was nice to see Sharon smile again this morning. He loved her smile. He loved the way her eyes sparkled when she did. He loved the way her curves looked in the dress she was wearing. He loved how it revealed her long legs. He loved how her beautiful hair flew around as she'd turn. He loved how her eyebrows wrinkled in amazement. He loved that nervous little habit, when she'd bit her lower lip. He loved everything about her.
It had been hard to concentrate lately, because of her, because he couldn't get her out of his mind. No matter what he'd be thinking about, his mind always would end back up with her.
Why had he lied to his ex? Told her things were more serious between Sharon and him? Because he had wanted it to be. He wanted there to be more. He had lied to himself. He had told himself that he had to invite her to the Nutcracker, so he could rebuild the relationship to his children. Told himself that the least he could do was take her out to dinner then as well. Told himself that he was sending her flowers to thank her.
But in the end he had wanted her to be with him. He had sought for excuses to ask her. He felt at ease with her. He could be just Andy, she didn't expect anything more or anything else. He hadn't been the kindest of persons to her in the past, still she'd accepted his friendship now. He didn't have to make up for anything with her. She was just his friend Sharon. That's what he had called her last night. Fact began to dawn on him though that he had fallen in love with his friend Sharon.
She smiled huge as he entered her office. Andy hoped she hadn't noticed him staring at her while she had bent over her desk.
"Andy what can I do for you?"
He liked the way she pronounced his name. The warmth of her gentle voice. He closed the door. He didn't need an audience for this, neither did she.
"I was wrong."
"Hm?"
"Last night. I was wrong."
She looked a bit confused.
"You don't send your friend flowers on Valentine's Day."
"It's okay Andy, I really appreciated it. "
Andy looked serious.
"But… you do send flowers to your friend on Valentine's day when you are in love with her."
Andy's eyes had captured her, her heart drumming loud in her chest. Sharon stared confused at him. there was no turning back now. The words were finally out. All of a sudden things weren't confusing anymore, he could concentrate again. He loved her. That was the answer to all the questions he had asked himself lately.
"I'm in love with you, Sharon."
Andy closed the distance between them, never breaking contact with her eyes, carefully studying her reaction. He placed his hands on her hips, they fit perfect on her curves, maybe that's why he had danced so much on Nicole's wedding, because he had liked the feel of her. This close, he stared into the depth of her clear green eyes, the window of her soul. So long they'd been shut to him, but these days he'd look into them, surprising himself, as she got to know more and more of her each day.
They were close enough for him to feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was nervous, her habit of biting her lower lip betrayed her. A soft smile appeared on his lips. She was shy. Sharon avoided his eyes, staring down, like she had done on the dance floor at his daughter's wedding, when he had made her a compliment. Like she had done when he had smiled at her during the ballet. Andy lifted his hand, gently lifting her chin to make her look up at him again. He needed her to see his eyes. He wanted her to see how much he'd meant it.
"I love you…"
Sharon closed her eyes as she felt Andy's lips on hers. They were soft and warm. A gently touch, too brief. His lips brushed hers, only feeding her longing to feel his lips lock onto hers again. Andy could feel her lips responds to his kisses, her lips parting to capture his. He pulled her closer to him, the need to feel her overwhelming. A soft hum, the most wonderful sound he had ever heard, before a loud knock on the door brutally pulled them from their haze.
They both looked flushed. Her lips swollen, he didn't have to see to know how aroused he was.
" Captain!"
Somehow Provenza's voice was very mood killing.
"Yes Lieutenant."
Her voice was shaky. Andy focused on her face instead of Provenza, smiling as she looked amazing.
Provenza raised his eyebrows as he looked at the both of them.
"We're wanted at a crime scene. Dead informant in a public place."
Sharon nodded, his cue to leave. As soon as they weren't underneath Provenza's scrutinizing eyes anymore, Andy looked back into her eyes.
"Later?"
"Hmm mm."
There was a smile on both of their faces, their cheeks slightly blushing. Questions had finally been answered .
The end