DISCLAIMER: I do not own DOCTOR WHO. I do not plan on owning Doctor Who. If I did, well, let's just say there would be a lot more of RoseX10 action and a lot less of Captain Jack Harkness' shirt. Wait just a second while I do a Google search...
JUST SO EVERYONE IS AWARE, I SUCK AT WRITING COMEDY. I'M BETTER AT EMOTIONAL STUFF (If you like that you should check out A Memory To Last A Lifetime on my page.) SO PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR MY TERRIBLE COMEDIC TIMING!
Storyline idea adapted from and credited to Jessa L'Rynn's Misadventures in Babysitting ( s/4023380/1/Misadventures-in-Babysitting)
"Doctor, would you tell the TARDIS to calm the bloody hell down? She's givin' me a headache..."
Rose moaned and lay down on the jump seat in the control room of the ship, which was, at the moment, inexplicably shaking and rocking back and forth.
"Rose, I can't control her. You know that."
Rose rolled her eyes at the Doctor when Captain Jack Harkness walked into the room, holding something that looked a lot like a wrench, but Rose knew better; it probably wasn't a wrench.
"Yeah, and to be fair," Jack added, "She's probably saving the world right now."
"By doing what, making me vomit?"
The Doctor looked up from the pile of wires he was playing with to laugh at Rose, until he realized she wasn't kidding. Jack handed the Doctor the wrench-like tool as Rose jumped off the jump seat and ran to the washroom. Jack just shrugged, and muttered something that sounded a whole lot like "women". He then knelt down to help the Doctor with the mess of wires.
"So, Doc, what exactly is going on here?"
"Well, I'm trying to remodel the TARDIS and give her a new sensor," the Doctor replied. The TARDIS then gave a low humming sound, but it was very raspy, and the Doctor gave a hurt look.
"I did not say that you needed fixing!" The Doctor yelled protectively. "But, in my defence, you could use a bit of a fixer-upper."
The TARDIS gave one rough shake of defiance, but then she simmered down, as though she realized that the Doctor was right. The Doctor smiled almost haughtily, and turned back to Jack, who was smiling, and once again mumbling a soft "women".
"Jack, as I was saying before we were so RUDELY INTERUPTED...!" The Doctor shouted the last bit, aiming it directly at the TARDIS. "I am giving the TARDIS a new sensor. She should be able to sense danger, see which timeline it is, and give us a small analysis as to what the danger is."
Jack nodded knowingly.
"So you're just lazy."
The Doctor looked at him with a mockingly hurt face on.
"No, I am not lazy! Rose is, she doesn't want to do my dirty work anymore."
The Doctor started to blush, and focused his attention back to the heap of cables in front of him.
"Alrighty, blue to orange, black to purple, red to gonersha,"
Jack stared at the Doctor.
"Gonersha?"
"Yeah, it's the colour you get from mixing- No, wait, never mind, it's not an Earth colour. Well, maybe in six or seven billion... You know what? Just forget about gonersha."
Jack gave a hearty laugh and stood up after picking up a button shaped item off the floor.
"So, where do you want this?"
"Just plug it in next to the atom accelerator. It goes in a lot like a twenty-first century plug to outlet, except the outlet moves and the plug's alive. But just think about it as if it's the same."
Jack walked up to the console and attempted to plug it in. After about 80 tries and many swears and curses that even the Doctor didn't know (The Doctor knew Jack was making a few up), Jack finally got the button into the socket and ceased the laughter coming from the plug. It took a few minutes after that for both men to catch their breaths, Jack because of the fight with the plug, the Doctor because he was laughing at the fight. The TARDIS then came to a stop, her shaking finally over.
"Finally," complained Jack. "The TARDIS was messing up my coordination." The TARDIS rumbled again at that, then let out a soft purr.
"The button thing is in, does that mean she's brought us to danger?"
Jack looked worried, yet exited.
"Perhaps... Let's just check to be sure."
The Doctor met Jack at the console, and looked at one of the many screens attached to it.
"You were right, Jack, she's landed us right in the middle of trouble. Well, a battle zone, to be exact. Well, a battle zone between mad scientists with untested experiments, to be really exact. This should be good!"
As both men were preparing to walk out the door, the Doctor turned and screamed,
"Rose Tyler! We are about to enter a war zone between mad scientists with really cool experiments! Don't die, okay?!"
Rose screamed back,
"No promises!"
The Doctor then screamed again to her,
"Okay! We'll see you later!"
And the two gentlemen walked out the door, only to see lasers and beams flying.
"Oh yes," the Doctor murmured, "This should be good."