A/N: So I started one story by myself and didn't know where to go with it. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think! - xoxo A
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, their performances or anything associated with them. I use my own made up scenarios and go along with what my head wants. If I could own any/all of Big Time Rush I would totally not be writing this stuff about the. Enjoy!
Imagine you just got a job apart of the crew for Big Time Rush. You were helping out doing their hair, make up, wardrobe and random other things here and there. It was your first day on the job and you were nervous, you always have liked them and didn't want to be all fan girl obsessed since you had to work with them. This was your dream job and you weren't going to blow it.
"(YN) can you come in here and help me get the boys clothes ready?" your new boss Jenna asked pulling you out of your trance.
"Be right in just grabbing some tunes."
"Alright well don't you look cute? Which one are you trying to impress there, Kendall may I ask?" she started laughing as you were walking out from the other room.
"Ha, ha very funny and I'm not trying to impress them, I wear this constantly." You can now feel yourself blushing like a little girl with a huge crush.
You were dressed in tight jeans, a cute shirt under a flannel, a beanie which let your brown hair flow down your back, sunglasses to cover your contacts that were embarrassing to wear, and to top it off a pair of vans that matched your outfit.
"Well Kendall will love you sweetheart." She begins to look at you up and down trying to get your reaction to that comment.
You just turned to the computer on the back wall just as soon as the boys walked into the dressing room.
"Did I just hear my name?" Kendall calls to Jenna
You turn around to see that the boys are now all staring at you with their mouths dropped down to their knees. As you see this you smile and start to giggle.
"So this is the girl that you were talking about." Carlos begins to say as he walks over to you.
"I'm (YN), and you're Carlos right?" As you try not to sound like you knew who they were. He starts laughing and then unexpectedly hugs you, then turns around towards the guys with his arm slung over your shoulders.
"Good guess (YN), and this is Logan, Kendall and James." Jenna begins to say as you blush looking at the other three hot boys in front of you.
"Alright, Alright stop staring and flirting with her. You guys have all summer to do that" she begins to laugh and then continues now talking to you "It's good to have you here and have another girl on the crew. Now it is time for them to go get ready."
You turn back to your laptop that was sitting on the desk behind you and Jenna puts on a song, Super Bass by Nikki Minaj. You had to do a few other things on the laptop but were feeling a pair of eyes on your back was making you feel uneasy. You turned around to see Kendall, and only Kendall. His green piercing eyes and that smile were all you needed…all you absolutely wanted. It sent you into outer space and into a world of trouble.
"Are you lost?" You were confused as to why it was just him and you left in the room alone.
The other boys were getting changed, and Kendall still didn't say a word. After a few minutes of just looking at each other he starts to walk towards you. Making you blush even more when he's standing a mere few inches away.
"You know you are supposed to be getting changed." Pointing to the room where Logan, Carlos, James, and Jenna are. You're trying so hard not to look up at him and into the mind blowing green eyes that you get so easy lost within.
"So?" he whispered into your ear seductively while playing with the outline of your jaw with his right hand.
He brings your face up so you have to gaze into those green eyes. Your mind starts to wander and you bit your bottom lip hoping he doesn't notice. But being Kendall, he does. He just smiles and lets your face fall back to where it was. Kendall knew there was something there and you knew it too but you just couldn't, could you?
As your looking back at the ground you notice his feet move and you see that he is walking away into the dressing room with the rest of the guys. You look up at him and he turns around and gives you that smile with dimples on each side. He has succeeded in what he was trying to do.
'What just happened? Why…ughh Kendall stop this game.' You couldn't help but think and think and wish he had just kissed you but then again he's not the type of guy to kiss someone he just meet. He barely knows anything about you besides what Jenna has said. 'What did Jenna tell them?'
This would be your first concert you've seen them play but in the heat of the moment you just couldn't stop thinking about before so you just decided to skip the concert and wait for the next one. Plus you had to get all of their clothes ready for their second outfit change.
'What is it about him that draws me to him? I mean he's just another guy that will break my heart some way or another.' Your heart melted in defeat thinking that this boy was any different than the rest on the planet.
"(YN), come on. Whatever you're thinking about quit it, the boys will be back in a couple minutes." Jenna pulling you out of your thought and just as it does the door opens with the boys running in.
You have to help them so you walk into the room and they are all stripping down to boxer. 'Don't think I should be seeing this' But at this point you couldn't help it. Kendall notices that your eyes are glued to his body.
He smiles and laughs; the other boys notice and start laughing too.
"Oh shut up, I'm just waiting for you guys to get on pants so I can get your ear mics back on before you put on your shirts. That will save time." You try so hard to convince them but ultimately thinking you fail at lying.
Jenna put the ear buds back on James and Carlos. You just got done putting Logan's on and moved over to Kendall.
"You can look all want (YN)." He says to you as he giggles.
You had just put the wires around his neck. Kendall puts on his shirt and jacket then he turns to you hoping you were going to say something.
"And I can look and not touch because I have a boyfriend." You tell Kendall, giving your best poker face. 'LIES! Why did I just lie? Maybe it was for the best?'
You look up at Kendall's facial expressions; he seems sad and disappointed about the fact that you're taken. 'But what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him, right?'
"Time to go boys, let's do this!" Logan and James say in sequence.
"I got to go." He looks so sad and you just kick yourself in the butt for saying that.
The boys run out of the room and Jenna looks at you.
"You told me you didn't have one. So why did you just lie to him? Kendall really likes you." She seems confused but hush toned.
"I just, I really don't know. I work with him and I've been hurt so many times I'm just I don't know, not ready for a steady lasting relationship. It just came out of my mouth like word vomit." You get out now regretting what you told Kendall.
"Just promise me you will tell him the truth, sometime soon."
"I, I promise." You start to stutter. You haven't stuttered in a while and you only do it when you are completely nervous.
One Hour Later
The concert ended and you could tell, hearing the guys outside still all hyped up. You were in your comfy clothes and just lying down in the tour bus, deciding which music to listen too. But every single damn song you put on all you could think about is Kendall's face.
'Ughhh….why won't you get out of my head already?'
Dustin comes in; you need someone to talk to about this. And he was willing enough to listen. So you tell him everything, everything that happened…even about the lie. He told you what he thought you should do but you just couldn't go out there and tell Kendall you lied to his face. That would make him hate you for it and you might never get the chance to actually be something with him. Instead you decide to try to take the friend route and go about this in a timely matter.
The next few days, you guys barely talk. He tries his best to avoid you and only make small talk when he has to. You're getting worried that this would end badly. I mean he's the star but you're just a helper. You'd be the one to get fired, not him.
Both of you were left alone while everyone else did something out of town. You decide this is a good as time as ever to talk to him. You were just getting ready to leave your tour bus to go talk to him when he steps into the bus.
"Hey, um everyone left so I guess it's just you and me." He says with a small smile on his face, hiding the pain he was in.
"Yeah I know and I was actually about to come talk to you, I need to tell you something." You say moving closer to him, motioning for him to take a seat but decide to keep standing.
"Really?" He tries to say while moving closer to you, now only to be in the same position you guys were the first time you wanted to kiss him.
You were going to just going to go for it, do something you should have done the first time…no words needed, just the sweet eye contact and that's all you needed to tell him the truth. Not through words but with your lips. They held the secret, now it's their turn to talk.
Kendall realizes that you're kissing him and he pulls away confused, yes he wants to kiss you and be with you but to his knowledge you have a boyfriend.
"What the…You said you had a boyfriend." He stammers out.
"I, I lied. It came out like word vomit and I was nervous. I wasn't ready for anything so soon and we work together Kendall. If anything were to happen it would be my ass on the line, not yours."
He looks pissed off more than ever, he tries to leave the bus but you pull his hand and sit him down onto the couch. You both just sit there in complete and udder silence, neither knowing what to say.
Kendall's still pissed but he cools himself down while you let a few tears fall from your eyes. He notices them and can't help but pull you into the left of his chest and then with his right hand, takes away the tears. A few more moments pass and you finally want to say something, the only thing that you can say now is
"Kendall I'm sorry." He just hugs you tighter and keeps you close to him, more silence a waits for words to be said or for someone to intrude.
"I just can't believe you lied." Kendall finally says. "I was hoping there was something special between us but I don't think I can trust you."
Those words hit painfully in your heart which sends a flood of tears to your eyes. You will do everything to make this right and are willing to give up anything you have to in order for this relationship and his trust back.
You get up and turn around, look dead into those eyes you're in love with and give a small fake smile. "I'm sorry; I think I'll just go." You say but really wish you didn't. As you turn back towards the door and walk outside, look one last time at him and shut the door.
Kendall's heart sinks deep knowing that he just might lose everything that's special because of something you weren't ready for.
'Am I being too harsh on her? Is there some reason she's not able to fall in love so fast or did someone break her heart? Man I just let something walk right away from me, you stupid idiot'
While walking away with tear filled eyes you make your way into the arena where the boys will be playing tonight. You find a guitar and decided to let how you feel play out. As your heart is shattered you just make up stuff as you go, you've been a singer and a songwriter ever since you knew how to play and write. Heartbreaks and hurting the people you love always gives you the song that you can soak all of the emotion into something beautiful.
After you're finished you hear a clap come from behind you, you see nothing but Dustin coming towards you realizing you're an emotional wreck. He wraps his arms around you, you don't know why but you love being around him. Dustin is super sweet and an amazing guy but no one can compare to how Kendall makes you feel.
"He's upset you know." Dustin whispers in your ear.
"mmhmm" is all you can mutter to say.
"I've never have seen him cry, especially over a girl." Trying to say this so you understand just how much he cares. "I know you just wrote that song for him and I think you should play it for him. He'll understand."
"He won't even look at me, let alone want to hear me sing something that is about him." You say very loudly
Next thing you hear is footsteps, coming from behind you. Dustin leaves and you turn around to see the person you hurt. Those beautiful green eyes with a ring of the color red around them and all puffed up. He just hugs you tightly not wanting to let you go any time soon.
"I loved the song" he says softly "And I should be mad at you but honestly you've been the only thing I can think of since I first saw you. I get nervous and jealous easily, I'm hard to handle and I just want to know why you did lie. If I know why and it's something truthful and I will be able to tell by your eyes, I will forgive you for everything and we can start new."
You both pull away so you can look up into his eyes and tell him the truth. "I was always hurt in the relationships. I always was the one to fall to hard and get dumped, and that's why I lied. You shouldn't be with someone you work with nor is someone who just will bring you down. My past sucks and I don't want to hurt you with it all. I admit, I do love you and want to be with you I just don't know how well it would work." You get this all out and you're surprised that he's not regretting anything or caring that you've had a rough past, he just wants to take you by his side and start new.
Startled is the word that you can come up with running in your head while your lips acknowledge what he's doing. Kendall Schmidt is kissing you. You kiss him back and your lips move in unison, staying together until you both desperately need air to breath.
Both of you are smiling while he rests his forehead on yours, and whispers that he'll never let you go, and that he'll never let anything bad ever happen to you. Just his touch is enough to tell you that there's some kind of connection you both desperately need and are not willing to let go of.