A/N: Writing about drug addiction = Easy. I got addicted to the coke, man. I'm sober. Clean. And trying to stay that way. Here's a short ficlet to make up for Keeping Distance, Courting Disaster's botched ending. Enjoy.
I used to remember us as friends. You were innocent, yet your mind clouded with thoughts that ravaged your mind. Honestly, how did you handle the situations with a broadened smile on your face? Defense mechanism, perhaps. Or you didn't want us to figure out what really happened behind the scenes? Wally, you never had the heart to tell. But we suspected the obvious before Robin told us the real story. Your father abused you. I wanted to kill him for that. Your mother neglected you on top of that. A person as wonderful as you didn't deserve a life lived in fear. Thankfully, that problem was resolved when you moved in with Iris and Barry.
They cherished you. To them, you were a keepsake treasure. Eventually, when you realized I had feelings for you; you became mine. We fought crime together, we shared various moments together, and we've gotten into various arguments along the years. "Perfect chemistry." says our friends. We were meant for each other. In a way, we would end up in each others' arms. I can't deny that. You were impatient like me, quick to defend your friends in the time of need...like me. And we enjoyed playing the occasional prank on Artemis just to have a good laugh. But you were the better looking guy. Don't object either.
Our team might assume I'm crazier than they think with me talking to my conscious with you residing in the coffin ahead. I have so many words to say. I wish I could have saved you from that incident involving Lex Luthor leaving you for dead in the pile of debris under the Hall of Justice. We stopped him from infiltrating the Watchtower, but we didn't save you in time. Rob said you were fine. His voice was desolate and somber. M'gann gave me a hopeful glance, but Superboy and Kaldur's heads fell. They didn't have the heart to tell me. You were dead upon arrival. They were afraid that Red Arrow would lose his cool. How can I not? My comrade. My friend. My Wally died.
Because I fell hard, and lost my mind, I drowned my sorrows by injection. The drug: Heroine. The lethal, toxic substance that feels like you're in a euphoric trance. It drains off in a few hours. But the comedown is much worse, Wally. I guess I felt bad. I looked for a fix. The rise in temperature, insomnia, vomiting. The works. When needles hurt far too much, I opted to snort it. Yes, you can snort heroine in powder form.
When that did nothing, my dealer suggested I try cocaine. I was reluctant at first. Told myself I need to kick the habit. But the thought of you not being here made me feel worse about being alive. I figured if I injected the heroine and snorted the mass amounts of cocaine, the overdose could send me to shock. And I would be reunited with you.
I made a mistake. The combination led me to overdose all right, but when Kaldur found me...He rushed me to the nearest hospital. Wally, I died three times that night. Not once did I see you besides me. I became surrounded in darkness, my own voice keeping me sane. Never did I think that there was an afterlife, because where I stood wasn't hell. I believe I was midway between. How? There was no pearly gates, no fiery lake. No god, or Satan. Just me enveloped in a dim-lighted...surrounding. You weren't visually there. Time passed, somehow I heard your own voice fade in to my right. You probably saw me in tears when you told me you still loved me. I love you too.
Hours it seemed when we chatted about our devotion, past life, and my confessions. During the conversation, I felt like a complete sinner. Not that I'm religious. I believe there's an afterlife and many gods. But getting dragged in a group other than Young Justice isn't my thing. You comforted me, telling me you weren't mad at me during the time the hospital staff attempted to revive me. That alone, made me make a pledge to quit drugs. For you, for me. You gave me hope. Wally, I thank you. If it wasn't for your voice, I wouldn't have fought to stay alive.
When I was completely sober the next morning, I explained to our friends about what happened when I passed on. Artemis glowed with delight, Robin simply nodded his head with a slight curve to his lips, and the rest were enthralled I made it. Some told me, and I quote,"Your lucky to be alive.". Apparently, what I injected/snorted was enough to kill a mammoth. I told them a special guardian angel named Wallace West saved me.
Don't hate. It's true. I bet you're blushing right now. I mean it. My love for you will remain strong. I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm going to completely break down in under a minute because speaking about this...yea. I'm not going to cry because of grief. I did that long ago. Instead, I'll do what you asked me to fulfill. Be happy and enjoy life. Celebrate your passing instead of mourning. I hate not having you here... Goddammit, Wallace! I miss you. Can I have Ra's Al Ghul resurre-
"Roy?" M'gann walked over to the disheveled archer.
I guess we'll talk later. You've got a whole line of folks waiting to talk to ya. Don't worry, I'll keep my promise and stay clean.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I finally burst into tears upon her speaking to me.
M'gann's supportive arms, coupled with Superboy's own, lead me outside the chapel. Like you requested, the tears were spilled from joy. They didn't know that. I let them hug me, hold me close, tell me a thousand words. Once I let go, I headed back to our home.
After all, you still remain in my soul.
Stay strong, angel. We'll meet in a few years. And when we do, I'm never letting you go.