One-shot
This is just a random drabble that clattered around in my head for a day or so before I wrote it down. The song mentioned is by P!nk and actually inspired the whole thing. Most of my struggle with this was keeping characters IC. Reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated, but no flames please. This is the first fic I have posted in ten years, so please be gentle with me!
Her name is pronounced GAH-na-mah, short version GAH-nee. Yes, it came from Dune and is my head-canon Shepard's given name.
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Joker was never very sure how they ended up at karaoke that night. Stories varied depending on who was asked, but for whatever reason he was still extremely grateful to Ash for pulling him along. He owed the late gunney a massive debt that of course couldn't be repaid now. That was the night he'd gotten his first real look at Ghanima. Not Commander Shepard. Ghanima. Ghani.
Somehow Joker and Adams, who insisted on being called Greg, had ended up jammed into the cheap padded seats of a large-party lounge alcove at the nightclub with most of the ground crew (sans Wrex, who preferred to stand rather than squash into human-built furniture). Alcohol flowed, though Joker was careful not to imbibe too much. Leg braces were no good at all without balance anyway, but besides that he'd discovered through long practice at sitting on the sidelines that it was a lot more fun to watch drunk people than to be one. The things people did were sometimes sad but usually fairly hilarious. When the word "karaoke" started being tossed around he thanked his lucky stars he'd remained sober enough to succinctly refuse. He thanked those stars again and promised each one a birthday present when Ash forced the commander into singing. "Absolutely not, Ash. Nuh-uh, nope, no way, nooooooooooo." The gunnery chief pouted comically and pressed on.
"C'mon, c'mander, it'll be fun!"
"You're drunker than I thought if you think you can get me up there!"
Ashley turned to Kaidan and smacked his shoulder for attention, not even noticing that he was already riveted on the exchange.
"Help me out here, Kaidan! Tell her it'll be good for morale."
"Well, Shepard, when she puts it that way…," he grinned and chuckled.
Greg leaned over and whispered to Joker. "Five credits says she sings 'cause the pretty boy wants her to," he offered as the three marines bickered good-naturedly, the occasional comment from Garrus or Tali ringing in.
"Whaaaat? That is the most wilfull woman ever. No way she breaks down for," perfect body, shy smile, dark eyes, "persuasion that weak."
"You're on, Joker."
They tuned back in to the squabble. The non-human crewmates, sensing the potential fun in teasing off-duty Shepard, had made common cause with Ashley and Kaidan. Comments and coercion flew back and forth almost as fast as the drinks.
"Joker, help me out here!"
His attention was suddenly captured, although he kept his face carefully schooled into an are-you-crazy expression.
"Against that mob? I think you might be on your own, Commander."
Shepard put a hand to her forehead dramatically and threw on a terrible Old South drawl. "My rescuer has abandoned me to the wild savages! Oh dear!" Then she grinned are winked at him before shifting her attention back to Kaidan and Ashley. Meanwhile Joker tried to restart his heart.
This was bad. When the hell did that start happening? This was Commander Shepard, not some pretty face on the other side of a desk or classroom. Not a random cute civilian to flirt with and ogle. This was his CO. Big trouble. Maybe it was the alcohol. He must've had too much after all. Or maybe it was the civvies. No uniforms here tonight. Afterward he'd never be able to recall even his own outfit but hers was burned into memory. Ass-kicker boots and dark blue jeans (jeans? Shepard?), bright red shirt with cap sleeves and an unfastened black vest. Maybe because her long, wavy black hair was down and free, not curled up and bound in that damn bun. Or it could have been the relaxed posture of all the personnel, sitting crammed together in a nameless semi-dingy bar in the Wards with smiles all around and worries momentarily forgotten.
Nah, he was just buzzed. It'd pass.
"…used to sing, didn't you, Commander Shepard?"
"Liara, how did you even know that? I was 15 and in school, for chrissake!"
The blue-skinned scientist smiled shyly but Joker thought he could detect a bit of coyness behind it. "I am a researcher after all, Commander. I wanted to know what kind of woman pulled me out of that volcano."
Was she…flirting with Shepard?! Nope, no, the alcohol was talking again.
"I didn't do that, Joker did. He's the best damn pilot in the Alliance, or hadn't he told you yet?"
"Hey, hey, hey! Keep me outta this!" he teased. "Or else I'll have to throw my support to the rest of the crew here."
"No! Nononono, you are officially out of it! A neutral entity is better than another assailant!"
"Aw, Commander, you'll hurt our delicate feelings saying things like that," Garrus retorted.
"C'mon, Commander, pleeeeeeeeeease?" Ash begged again, having resorted solely to begging rather than cajoling after her tenth shot. The rest of the table, even Greg, joined in in their own fashion.
"Do it for us, Shepard. You have to keep your crew satisfied, after all." Kaidan's voice rang in Joker's ears again. Was he just…? Nah, no way he'd make a move on a senior officer. Kaidan seemed like a by-the-book kind of guy. Besides, he'd already told Greg that Shepard would never give in to such tactics anyway.
"Fine, fine! I'll do it!"
Cheers rang out all over the lounge area, but quieted when she raised her arms and spoke again.
"On one condition!"
"Aww, Co-," Ash started, but Shepard interrupted her.
"Nope! You're getting what you want, so I get what I want!"
Ashley suddenly got the proverbial cat-who-ate-the-canary grin on her face.
"Oh yeah? And what's that?" she winked and nudged her friend.
"I'm interested myself, Shepard," Kaidan added, and Joker suppressed a strange and sudden urge to punch him. Then the Commander turned those sparkling violet-grey eyes on Joker himself and pointed at him.
"The hat. I will only do this horrible karaoke thing if I get to wear Joker's hat. So, it seems our fate is once again in your hands, Joker." For just a brief instant he would have given her every hat in the universe and a great many other things just for the way she said his name. Nope, alcohol, remember the alcohol, Moreau. Anything happening here won't have happened tomorrow and even if it did you imagined it. He tried very hard to believe himself and recovered in enough time to look like he was considering the request itself and not daydreaming about his CO all of a (not so) sudden.
"This? Ah, c'mon, Shepard," he stole Kaidan's informal use of her name to prove the LT didn't have special claim over it, "you know this hat's practically part of me. I think it might be fused to my hair. What do you want it for?" He fake-whined, keeping the table in amusing suspense,
"Well to get up there I need some extra confidence," at this several snorts and snickers sounded around the table, "and if anyone has some to spare it's that best damn pilot in the galaxy, right?" Joker pretended (sort of) to bask in the praise and nodded in approval of the upgraded title.
"Besides, the hat comes off. I figure you're rather attached to certain confidence-associated glands and would prefer I didn't try to borrow them."
Joker had just taken a sip of his drink when she said that and barely managed to choke the liquid down rather than spluttering and spraying the table with it. Holy shit, did she really say that? He guessed some of that bawdy marine humor had still hung around in the Commander after all.
"Hoo, well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse you anything?" He was pretty sure he'd imagined Kaidan's eyes briefly narrowing at him.
"Ah, my savior returns!" Shepard snarked as she stood. Having been seated on the end of one of the couches she was able to extricate herself from the lounge with ease and cross to him. He was too busy watching her to notice when she got within inches of his face until she reached for the cap and relieved him of it, then settled it on her own head, black waves cascading down to her waist from the blue fabric. "Thanks, flyboy." Joker accidentally held his breath while brushing his hair into some semblance of compliance with his fingers now that the hat was gone.
The crew all turned their attention to the black stage and cheered Shepard on for her energetic rendition of some old song called "Trouble," hooting and whistling madly when it ended and she returned to them.
"Keep the credits, I'm buying you a shot," Greg murmured in a low, congenial tone while the other crewmembers distracted the Commander with praise, teasing, and noise in general.
"For what?"
"For keeping your cool while a woman like that hit on you."
"Whaaaat? No way, no she did not." Please say she did. If she did I might have a shot…Nope, remember all the alcohol…
"She absolutely did! Joker, she's wearing a piece of your clothing in a public place! She is definitely flirting."
Yes, yes, yes, yes…..no, no, no, alcohol. Frat regs, alcohol, frat regs, alcohol…. The mantra was in serious danger of not helping. "Naaaah, she just wanted to prove I actually had hair. Keeps telling me I use the hat to cover a bright shiny bald spot. And you're drunk."
"Alright, whatever you say, man." The two turned their attention back to the rest of the crew. Joker noticed that the seating had shifted a bit and now Kaidan was on the opposite side of the Commander from Ashley. He'd also thrown his arm up over the backrest. Not quite around Shepard but close enough to evoke a twinge of something indefinable in Joker. Al. Co. Hol. Then Shepard caught his eye from under the brim of the borrowed hat and winked at him. Ah, shit. It's not just the alcohol, Moreau.
She rose and walked over to him and Greg obligingly yielded his seat to go talk to Tali and Liara.
"Hey Commander, when do I get my hat back? It might not be an 'attached' appendage but it's still missing."
"You can have it back when you stop being so formal."
"What? You want me to just call you Shepard all the time like," Kaidan, "everyone else? Ok, Shepard, may I please have my hat?"
She smiled, but for some reason it was just a shade sad, he thought.
"You do know that Shepard is a surname, right?"
Where's she going with this? "Uh, duh, Com- Shepard, that's why it's what we call you in uniform."
"What about out of uniform? Everyone else goes by their first name, why not me?"
He was stunned for a brief moment, but as always recovered quickly. "Look, ma'am, there's always gonna be that degree of separation. To the crew you are the Commander, in civvies or not, and that's how they know you."
"And is that how you think of me too? Jeff?"
That surprised him even more than her opening up to him in this unexpected way. No one called him Jeff, not even Anderson. Since flight school it had always been Joker. "Well, if you plan on having many of these heart-to-hearts I could be trained to call you something else," he teased, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. She smiled and swept the cap off her head before resettling it on his own and standing.
"Ghani. Call me Ghani." She smiled again, almost shyly, (no, remember the alcohol; this is all the alcohol) and recrossed the commandeered lounge area to her seat between Ash and Kaidan.
Joker sat in stunned silence for a few minutes, then readjusted his cap and pulled up his omni-tool. Of course he'd been briefed on the Commander when she'd first come aboard as XO, but somehow her first name had slid through his head like water. Probably because he thought he'd never use it or really need to know it. So he pulled up the ship's duty roster to remind himself. SSV Normandy. Commanding Officer Lt. Commander Shepard, Ghanima. Ghanima. She'd given him permission not only to address her by first name, she'd given him a nickname. Like Joker. The trust touched him in a funny way. I need more alcohol….
He'd continued to call her Commander nearly every time they spoke, both for formality and to irritate her just a teensy bit. But sometimes, usually late at night or very early in the morning, she'd creep up to the vacated copilot chair just to talk or watch a vid, and then he'd call her Ghani. It still gave him a small thrill that nobody else he knew, not even Kaidan, ever called her that. Not that it mattered. He'd played it so cool, pretending total disinterest, that he'd eventually discouraged her altogether from anything other than friendly banter. Fearful of getting hurt, physically or otherwise, he'd driven her directly where he'd least wanted: Kaidan's arms.
Joker knew. Of course he knew, but he couldn't really complain since it was his own fault. Too late now, anyway. She was gone, killed right along with his beloved ship, scattered to frozen oblivion without ever knowing how he really felt or why he'd always deflected even her most obvious (though still cautious) advances. He'd never be able to have Shepard now, but for a time at least he'd had someone no one else had known. Ghani.
He tossed back another shot of bourbon, then checked his terminal. Another message from this Lawson person. He was just drunk, and bored, enough that maybe he'd actually read it this time.