For JBE2017! The alternate name (what I saved the doc as) was: Tinsel, Mistletoe, and DAN I SWEAR TO GOD FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN. Yep. Anyway, I wanted to write some domestic DanIan shenanigans and this is what turned out. Have this... thing.
Prompt: Paper Clips
"Ian! Look at this!" A chipper voice called out, drawing said man's attention from where he was trying to put up the tree. He turned to where the blond was wrapping the presents, or was supposed to, anyways.
"What is it?" Dan grinned at him once he realized he had Ian's attention, and held up the thing he so desperately wanted to show off.
"A... paper clip... chain?" Ian asked, squinting his eyes at the silvery line swaying between Dan's outstretched arms as the younger male nodded. It was long, but that was the only thing it had going for it.
"Seriously?" Ian scoffed, "That's the best you can do?"
Dan bristled at the condescending tone, before shrugging. "Don't think you can do any better," he muttered, holding the end of the chain in between two fingers and letting it pool into the palm of his other hand.
Ian smirked, standing up and leaving the wrapped up tree where it was. "We'll see about that," he taunted as he sauntered out, ignoring Dan's confused calls of "Where are you going?!" and "Coward!"
He returned with a needle-nose pliers, sitting down and picking up a paper clip. "Now watch and learn, Daniel." He crooned, batting his eyelashes, making fun of him until Dan growled. He shrugged, turning back and picking a paper clip from the box, using the pliers to twist the paper clip out of shape and into another. "Hand me a piece of tape."
Dan handed him a small strip, silently watching him. Once Ian was done, he held up his little creation to Dan and showed what it could do by balling up a piece of wrapping paper, laying it in the small groove, and launching it across the room. "See? A catapult. Better than what you made."
Dan, who was watching in quiet wonder this entire time, drew back angrily. "Well that's unfair! You changed the shape of it, I didn't. I bet I can make something cool with it too."
"Oh?" Ian challenged, handing him the pliers "Go ahead."
Dan turned around, refusing to let Ian see until his was done. Minutes passed as Ian went back to preparing the tree, finally managing to get it standing upright when Dan finally gave a proud cry of "Aha!"
He looked over to where Dan threw something at him. He flinched reflectively, before realizing Dan threw a paper clip and focusing on what the green eyed boy had made. It was a little paper clip helicopter, spinning to the ground with its tape tail slowing it down.
Dan gave him a look that very clearly said "Take that!" So Ian narrowed his eyes, went straight over and snatched the pliers from him, taking a paper clip to set off making something.
Hours pass as they make meaningless paper clip toys, and once the entire box was exhausted and the floor was littered with little toys made from metal wires did they stop and think about what they're doing. By this point, there's a small arsenal of paper clip weapons and wrapping paper ammo, and Ian and Dan had taken residence behind two opposite facing sofas to shoot paper balls at each other.
"You're going to clean this up!" Ian yelled mid battle as a shot hit him in between the eyebrows before he could duck behind the sofa.
"No way!" Dan yelled back, cursing as Ian managed to nail him in the shoulders, marking his third hit in the the round and making him the winner.
When they finally gathered up all the little paper balls and put them in a pile, they leaned against each other a thing the foot of the loveseat.
"I feel like we're supposed to be doing something," Dan confessed, leaning backwards against the sofa, stretching his legs out in front of him.
Ian looked at him, mirroring the pose. His eyes slid from the still scattered paper clip inventions, before looking back at the undecorated tree, then to the presents down at their feet. "Dan, Christmas is in two days and you still haven't wrapped the presents," He reminded, slowly getting up.
Dan jerked up from where he was falling asleep with a curse. "We have to decorate the tree!" He begged insistently as Ian rolled his eyes.
"Fine, you go decorate the tree, I'll wrap the presents." He conceded, as Dan jumped with a happy yell and ran over to the box of ornaments like a child. Ian shook his head fondly, and brushed away the paper clip toys so he could wrap the presents.
He was two more left from finishing when Dan gives a painful grunt, taking his attention away again. He sighed, and reached for the second to last present, resolute that he'd finish this job before getting distracted again. When he was almost done his last present, Dab gave another grunt, this one more urgent, which was the reason Ian finally looked up.
There Dan stood, head to toe covered in silver and gold tinsel. Ian couldn't help his, he laughed. At Dan's unimpressed look, he just laughed harder, putting the last half wrapped present aside to help him.
"If this is your attempt to get into the Christmas spirit, I have to say you're trying very hard," he teased, disentangling the shimmery decorations from around Dan's body.
When he was finally free, Dan gave Ian an half-heated glare and pushed him in the direction of the tree, forcing him to hang up the tinsel with him. He went to retrieve the star from the box, and motioned Ian to sit down. The older man did so, but not without complaints and demands of explanations.
"Carry me on your shoulders," he ordered, just as Ian incredulously yelped
"No!"
"Why not?!" Dan exclaimed, taken aback.
"Because you're probably heavy? And plus, why?" Ian replied, disgruntled.
"I need to put the star up!" Dan explained, as if it should be obvious.
Ian blinked, before throwing his hands up in exasperation "Get a chair!"
"But we have to do it together! In the spirit of Christmas!" Dan trailed off, eyes sliding from Ian's to the floor as he frowned.
Ian stared at him, before conceding "... Fine..."
Ian crouched on the floor, letting Dan hook his knees over Ian's shoulders. They wobbled a bit when Ian first moved to stand up, resulting in Dan cursing and Ian cursing about Dan's weight, but eventually the star was on the tree, the presents were wrapped, and they finally went to bed.
Prompt: Whip Cream
Ian woke up to a loud bang and a yell, startling him from sleep. He tried to go back into the peaceful lulls of unconsciousness, but something was missing. He tossed and turned, noticing that the other side of the bed was cold. He sleepily got to his feel and drowsily made his way down to the kitchen, yawning. "Dan?" He muttered, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Don't look!" A high pitched voice came from the left as Ian turned, blinking to rid the blurriness. His eye's widened as he finally focused enough to realize what he was looking at.
Dan had his arms out, no doubt trying to hide the mess behind him, but Ian could see the bits of batter splattered on the counter. And besides the fact that there was an assortment of ingredients scattered haphazardly across the kitchen, including nearly a dozen eggshells cracked in ways that no doubt added the extra chore of having to pick out the shell pieces, Dan also had several bits of whip cream in his face and hair.
Ian couldn't help it, he laughed. He laughed, and made his way over to where Dan was trembling with humiliation, hands clenched in fists by his side. The blond looked up in rage, blushing so hard Ian worried his clothes would burst into flames, and looked ready to punch Ian for laughing. Ian didn't let him though, wiping a bit of whip cream off Dan's nose without the pad of his thumb and licking it off with the tip of his tongue, watching Dan though half lidded eyes.
He had the pleasure of seeing him blush with something in no way related to his baking failure. "If you wanted to seduce me with whip cream you didn't have to go through all this trouble, you know." Ian smirked, raising an eyebrow.
Dan looked ready to punch him again, but he was also blushing, so Ian counted that as a win. "It wasn't for you you," he mumbled defensively, waving his hand at the recipe book in the corner.
Ian walked over, leaning down to read it. His eyes widened in realization as he grinned cheekily at Dan, who looked like he was beginning to regret doing this entire thing. "Amy's favorite recipe? How ador—"
"Listen are you gonna help or not?" Dan interrupted, as Ian picked up some shells and threw them in the trash.
"I'll help, of course. We need to make some stuff anyway, everyone's coming tomorrow," Ian answered, starting to clean up the mess.
Dan gave him a relived smile, and breathed out a soft "Thank you" to which Ian just ruffled his hair like he knew Dan hated.
"Now, let's get to work."
The day passed quickly and soon the house is filled with the aromatic scents of food and baked goods.
"No Dan, you don't—baking soda and baking powder are two different things, you're the one who's grew up poor how do you not know this?"
"Shut up Ian, I didn't bake things, that was Amy's forte."
-o-
"OH GOD THE PAN'S ON FIRE WHAT DO I DO!"
"I DIDN'T KNOW SALT WAS FLAMMABLE THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!"
-o-
"If our house burns down the next one we buy better have two bathrooms."
"Our house won't burn down if you learned how to cook properly instead of bullshiting your way through half of the steps, Dan."
"Don't lie, my experiments are an equal fire hazard."
"Why are you not trying to justify your pyromaniac habits?"
"Fire is cool."
-o-
"Ian-Ian no, Ian, stop it we're having a couple guests not an army put that recipe book away."
-o-
"Dan if you make one more penis cookie I'm throwing you out of the kitchen."
"Why, can't face your inner dick?"
"Why are you making them, trying to make up for something?"
"... you win this time..."
-o-
"Listen I know Amy loves strawberries and all but seriously strawberry flavored ice cream is straight from hell its like cherry in all it's artificial glory it's disgusting it doesn't be deserve to be with chocolate and vanilla."
"Ian, we've been over this."
"STRAWBERRY FLAVORED ICECREAM IS HORRIBLE, DAN!"
-o-
"I'm tiiiired."
"You've done nothing since we put your thing for Amy in the oven."
"I watched you."
"And how did that make you tired?"
"I'd never get tired of watching you."
"...Dan..."
"No shut up I didn't say anything."
"It kinda ruins the sweetness of the statement if you deny it immediately afterwards."
"Good this I wasn't trying to be sweet."
At one point Ian finally left to freshen up, and when he returned breakfast was out, even though though Dan wouldn't admit to anything. As they continue to find recipes and try them, Dan happily licked the spoons and other mixing utensils of the batter, and Ian forced him to promise that he'd wash all the dishes. They cleaned up, and by evening they're outside.
"I'm telling you, the lights should go like this!" Dan yelled from the roof.
"No Dan, we're not putting the Christmas lights into the shape of a dick!" Ian called back from when he's on the floor.
"Damn you!" Dan flipped him the bird with one hand, throwing a snowball with the other.
Ian gave an enraged screech when the snowball hit it's mark, scrambling to make his own as he dodged another aimed at his head.
"Give up, Ian! I have the higher ground!" Dan crowed, tossing another snowball.
"Don't quote lines you don't know properly!" Ian sniped back, throwing one at Dan with expert precision and hitting him in he chest with a painful "oof"
They go back and forth like that for a while, until their fingers were aching from the cold and their noses were runny. They went inside to get warm, put on their gloves and boots for proper snow playing, and head back out to try and make and igloo.
Dan laid down on the floor, making a snow angel to make the ground of their igloo as Ian started making the bricks. They stacked them together in silence, the quiet only ruined by Ian's loud complaints of the cold ruining his hair. When they finally fitted the pentagon for the ceiling and packed up any gaps with snow, it was getting late. They debated sleeping inside the igloo until they checked the weather and found out it was going to snow again tonight.
They hung up the lights quickly without argument when the sun begin still to dip across the horizon and hurried inside, making two mugs of hot cocoa to warm themselves up. Dan poured extra sugar into his as Ian hung up their coats. He held the mugs delicately as Ian brought a blanket from their room and got comfortable on the sofa, waiting for Dan to come from the kitchen.
Dan smirked as he handed him a mug, sitting down and snuggling into his side for some warmth as Ian put on some generic Christmas movie. "Care for some whip cream?"
Prompt: Knife
The doorbell rang, and Ian finally stopped his pacing. "They're here!" He exclaimed, rushing to open the door.
The group stood at the door, bundled and flushed red from the cold as they shuffled in, shaking the snow off at the door. Ian closed the door behind them so that the snippy air wouldn't get in, and one by one they filed into the living room.
"Wow," Hamilton looked around appreciatively as he placed his presents under the tree. "You guys did this all on you own?" He glanced at the tree, before complimenting the decorations outside as well.
"Ian barely did anything," Dan whispered loudly, causing Ian to whip around and glare as everyone laughed.
They gathered around and sang some Christmas carols, everyone whistling and congratulating them when Sinead and Jonah revealed their engagement by singing a duet together. They moved to the dining room to eat some snacks, and Ian made his to the center, brandishing a knife.
"Woah man, I know you've been dealing with some problems, but I feel you decided to snap and kill everyone you could have at least waited till after Christmas," Dan frowned, miffed.
Ian rolled his eyes and motioned to him with one hand, as if saying "Look what I have to deal with." Amy shook her head in amusement before gently taking the knife. Dan's eyes widened in realization as he pouted at the snickers the group was giving him.
"It's fine, I'll cut it," Amy said softly, just as Dan jumped forward and wrenched it from her grasp.
"No was you're not, I spent ages making this for you and I mean not letting you serve it to yourself," Dan blustered, mind catching up to his words too late. "I mean, I didn't make it for you—I just thought you'd like it—I didn't—LET ME CUT IT!" He finished loudly over everyone laughing. "Shut up..." he grumbled, stabbing the cake with much more vigor than necessary.
They ate cake and snacked, before Dan pulled Atticus outside to show off the igloo and everyone went out again.
"I bet I can make the biggest snowman," Dan bragged as Atticus laughed.
"No way! I can totally make one bigger than yours."
"Wanna bet?"
"You're on."
"Hey, can I join?" Reagan asked, pulling Madison in.
Dan and Atticus shrugged uniformly. "Sure, but not as a team."
"Let me join too," Jake asked, entering their little group.
Dan beamed. "Anyone else want to join the snowman competition?!" He called, getting the attention of the rest of the people scattered across the lawn.
Amy sat it out, deciding to be the judge instead. The afternoon passed quickly as the competition escalated into a snowball fight, and then back into to a competition, Hamilton finally emerging victorious at both by using his snowman as a fort.
They trudged back inside, cold but happy. Ian handed them warm cookies, and they played board games till dinner.
As they ate, they shared stories, mostly Amy and her adventures, but the Holts had their fair share of death defying moments too. Finally it was time for the presents.
As Dan and Ian moved to hand people their presents, Sinead giddily pointed at the ceiling. "Hey, mistletoe! You know what that means!"
Ian's eyes widened as he looked at Dan, who's expression was one of similar shock. "We don't have to, right?" Dan asked, tossing a pleading look at Sinead.
Amy groaned and smacked her forehead. "You've been dating for seven years and have been living together for three and you're still embarrassed by a kiss? C'mon!"
Dan flushed in embarrassment, turning away, but Ian grabbed his arm, holding him in place. He gripped Dan's face in his hand, forcing Dan to face him, looking down at him. "What, are you scared?" He teased, provoking Dan.
Dan rose to the bait immediately, locking glares with Ian as they narrowed eyes at each other. "You wish," he hissed, tugging the taller man down and smashing their mouths together.
In he background, three adults looked on in two parts bemusement and one part confusion as they swirled their drinks in their cups and leant against the wall.
"Can't believe they do that every time," Sinead shook her head as Amy gave her a sympathetic pat.
"They've been getting better," she assured "Just the other day they held hands in public without either of them spontaneously combusting or it escalating into a fight."
"What... what even are those even two," Jonah stared in awe at where Dan was both apologetically wiping where he bit Ian's lip hard enough to draw blood while still looking impossibly smug about it.
Both redheads shrugged before straightening up off the wall and heading to the couple. "Who knows?"
"So, are we opening the presents now?" Dan asked excitedly as Ian snorted in fond amusement.
"Happy Christmas, Dan, Happy Christmas."
:/ I... I tried. Sorry it's so short, but in my defense not only have a not written for this fandom in a while and thus am rusty on it's characters, it's also 3 o'clock at night here, and I've written this all in one go without going back to edit it. (Aka I also don't have a beta so you be the this'll have typos)
Also also (and yes I realize my ANs are criminally long) there might be some inconsistencies with the tenses due to me recently writing in present tense but reverting to past tense for this small thing so please forgive me.
Next week's will be better I swear