Fifteen-year-old Yukine didn't want to be alive. There was too much piling up and no one cared and he knew that his life didn't matter. It was obvious! Did he see his drunk father coming to look for him? Did his busy, working mother even know he still existed? Well, they weren't looking for him, otherwise they would have found the note on his desk telling them where he was and what he was about to do.
He felt numb as he walked down the frosty path on the walking bridge that went over the frosty river below. His breath came out in heavy wisps, his fingers were tingling and white, and he shouldered the cold in only his t-shirt. It's not like he needed a jacket when he plummeted to his death.
Nonetheless, he breathed hot, moist air into his cupped hands and kept his head down. He just had to make the last few steps in the snow to the spot where he wanted to jump. It was this ledge in the middle the bridge. The river rushed the quickest in this area, the scenery was breathtaking, and most of all, it was out of view for most of the world. No one would have to witness what he was about to do.
He felt the tears gathering behind his eyes but he couldn't make himself let them fall. What good would it do?
Pausing for a short moment, he wiped at his eyes, looking back behind him, checking for anyone following. No one. Just his own footsteps in the unbroken white snow.
He let out a defeated sigh and continued his trek.
When he reached the part of the ledge he wanted, he kicked off his shoes and let his bare feet sink into the subzero snow. He winced but set to work at trying to get himself up onto the ledge, his frozen finger tips scrabbling at the slippery snow-ridden cement.
"What are you doing?" a soft voice interrupted him.
Yukine froze with his body half hoisted up onto the tall edge, caught in his act. He turned his head slowly and found another kid crouching in the snow nearby, likely older than him, snowflakes covering his hair and most of his body, as if he had been sitting there for a while. Yukine was surprised he hadn't seen him there, considering his hair was so dark against the snow.
There was a long pause where they just looked at each other, silently taking the other one in. Yukine glanced down at his cold grave and back again; then he let himself drop back safely onto the bridge, to turn and look at the kid with a hard glare. "Noneofyourbusiness," he mumbled, then looking away.
He blinked tears back, turning his head to face into the cold crack of the wind. He couldn't do what he wanted with this person staring him down.
"Put your shoes on, you're going to get frostbite," the kid told Yukine.
Yukine looked at him incredulously.
The kid gave him a knowing look. "We both know you aren't going to kill yourself with me here, so just put them on."
Yukine looked away but set to work at putting them back on. He would just have to come back when the kid wasn't here.
"Here, take this too," the guy said, shouldering off his green jacket and throwing it at him. It landed over his head and Yukine had to push it off angrily.
"Why are you doing this?" Yukine spat.
The guy looked at him, bored, and turned away to look up at the gray clouds. "No reason. Do what you want."
Yukine ground his teeth together, shoving his feet into the soaked shoes. This kid didn't care either, just like the rest of them.
"But I really don't think you should kill yourself."
"What?" Yukine asked, incredulous. "What do you know?"
The kid pulled himself up to sit up a little straighter and looked him square the eye, unnerving Yukine with the unwavering gaze. "I just think you should fight for yourself a little more. Anyone who chooses to off themselves is taking the easy way out."
Yukine threw the kid's jacket back at him, standing, hands curling into shaking balls. "You don't know anything."
The blue eyes were unflinching. "Maybe not, but I don't think you should kill yourself, okay?" He tossed the jacket back at him. "Just put it on."
Yukine held it tightly but didn't put it on. The surge of emotion was making the tears spill over and he couldn't stop it anymore. He sniffed loudly, rubbing at his eyes furiously. His chest was tight, throbbing with all the choked up sensation.
The guy stood, snow falling off as he did. "Here, take this too," he said, pulling a hat out of his track suit pocket. He unfolded it, coming closer, and then shoved it over Yukine's head. The kid's fingers brushed Yukine's blonde hair, shocking Yukine into taking a step back. When was the last time someone had touched him?
"You can give me the hat back later, okay?" he told him.
"Who are you? What do you want from me?"
The kid shrugged and straightened his scarf, smiling warmly. "Nothing, really." He paused to hold out his hand. "My name's Yato. That way we know each other when you bring me the hat back."
Yukine held out his hand slowly, hesitating. Yato met him half way and shook it. Both of their hands were cold as ice. "Yukine," he returned shyly, cheeks burning with embarrassment. He hoped he would never see Yato again.
Yato grinned. "Nice to meet you, Yukine. See ya at school. You can keep the jacket." He let go and made to turn and leave.
"Wait!" Yukine called, grabbing onto Yato's sleeve. "You go to my school?"
"Yeah," Yato shrugged. "I'm in the grade above you. I've seen you around. Haven't you seen me?"
"No… I don't think so…"
Yato dramatically laid a hand on his chest and did a fake cry. "No one recognizes me, how does this always happen?!" He turned to Yukine and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him comically. "Yuki, you can't forget about me!"
"It's Yukine," he said unimpressed.
Yato laughed, scratching his head. "Well, since you're my new friend, I can call you whatever I want!"
Yukine stilled at that, heart beating fast. He wanted to ask, how they could possibly be friends after talking for only a few minutes, but he was quickly interrupted.
"Well see ya around Yukine! I'll be waiting for my hat on Monday!" He waived before bouncing off, giving Yukine no time to reply. Instead Yukine watched him keep walking down the bridge before disappearing all together into the white flurries.
Yukine adjusted the hat on his head, allowing the flaps to sit more easily over his ears, and then looked down at the green jacket tucked underneath his left arm. It did look warm…
He unfolded it and then shrugged it on. It was comfortable and it engulfed him like a hug since he was a bit smaller than Yato. He wrapped his arms around his middle, his chest still hurting.
The darkness was still clouding the edge of his vision, like a predator waiting for him to give in, but after his conversation with Yato… the urge to jump was lessened.
He turned to the ledge of the bridge and peered over, feeling a sense of vertigo as he watched the rushing waves of the river. The sun sparkled down on it and the crisp air whirred at him, unrelenting just as before. It looked the same as he first come here but it was as it felt different…
Well, guess he didn't need to die today. He would just have to save that for another day.