WARNING: THIS SHIT WILL MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL XD
5 YEARS AFTER THE 4TH SHINOBI WORLD WAR
Naruto was on his knees, surrounded by ANBU. "Uzumaki Naruto, you are under arrest for failing to pay Child Support to one Haruno Sakura." Naruto looked at the ANBU with a bear mask.
"He's not my kid, that doctor lied about the DNA test. Look at the child and then look at me. WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE!" The ANBU with the neko mask punched Naruto in the face. The others had to hold her back before she caused more damage.
"Men like you make me sick" she said. An ANBU with a pure black mask walked up to Naruto. He crouched down next to him and said "Kami this is troublesome. I'm going to read you your rights."
"Don't bother Shikamaru, I already know them."
"Good, cause I don't feel like talking much"
KONOHA'S TORTURE & INTERROGATION DEPT.
Wearing a chakra restricting collar, Naruto was in his holding cell grasping the bars. "He's not mine I tell you! He's not mine!"
"He may not be yours, but you're going to be mine" said a voice behind Naruto. Naruto froze and slowly turned his head around. His eyes became wide and his mouth opened as he looked at the man. Standing in front of Naruto was a black muscular 250 lbs. man. He was about 6 feet tall and towered over Naruto.
"Please don't hurt me" pleaded Naruto.
"Don't worry, the pain will disappear... after a couple weeks." He gave Naruto a sadistic smirk.
"You wouldn't rape the Hero of our village would you?" Naruto gave the most innocent smile
"Wait, your Uzumaki Naruto aren't you? I couldn't do that to the man who saved the Shinobi World. Black Sunshine on the other hand, he'll probably destroy your ass."
"Whose Black Sunshine?"
The intercom to the cells then announced it was time for the showers.
"Looks like you're about to find out nigga"
5 MINUTES LATER AT THE SHOWERS
"Don't worry, I got your back if something goes down. Name's Tyrone by the way."
"Thanks Tyrone." said Naruto as he continued to was his body. A fat black man then walked into the showers. He started to observe the new meat that entered his buffet. He had a tattoo of the sun from Teletubbies on his round belly. He saw Naruto and lick his lips. Naruto turned his head just in time to see Black Sunshine lick the roof of his mouth at him. Naruto began to wash his body faster as the heavy set man walked towards him. The soap slipped out his hands and hit the ground.
Everyone heard the soap as it collided with the floor. The entire shower was quiet. Black Sunshine started to walk over to Naruto. Tyrone stepped in front of the man between him and Naruto. Black Sunshine went up to Tyrone's ear and whispered something. Tyrone's body froze and he looked to Naruto.
"Sorry nigga, but you on your own." Tyrone then sped out the showers as fast as he could, slipping and falling as he left. Naruto turned to Black Sunshine.
"Soap dropped nigga" Naruto looked to him with a shocked face "Oh you think you just gone leave it down there."
"N-No."
"We don't waste no motherfuckin soap in here"
"I'm... I'm finished" said Naruto nervously
"Naw, naw nigga you ain't finished. I been watchin you"
"You have" he said with mixed emotions. Shock and fear, but mostly fear.
"You ain't wash behind your ears or nothin"
"B-but I did"
"Look at me. See how I'm all clean and glistening and shit. That's hygiene nigga." Naruto daringly looked at the Black Sunshine's body. He looked at his tattoo then his eyes started to trail downwards. He finally can to his thick 15 foot long cock and his eyes widened. "You can call me Black Sunshine, ya friendly health inspector. NOW PICK UP THE DAMN SOAP!"
As he looked at the soap, Naruto could hear the other men in the showers.
Pray, you better pray
I'm next
Just when he was about to accept his fate and bend over, an ANBU yelled his name at the shower entrance to the showers.
'Thank Kami' thought Naruto
INTERROGATION ROOM
Naruto was sitting in the chair with his head on the table. He was napping while waiting for whoever was going to talk with him. The door opened and his interrogator looked at him with a pissed off face. They kicked him in the head to wake him up. Naruto flew and hit the wall with a loud thud. He opened his eyes and looked to his beautiful interrogator, Mitarashi Anko.
"Damn Anko! You look fine as hell!" She picked him up and slammed him on the wall. "You bastard, I actually liked you maybe even loved you. But I could never love a deadbeat father."
"You loved me?! Why didn't you tell me?!"
"I was afraid you would reject me because of our age difference. But that does not matter because I no longer love you. You abandoned your child."
"He's not my child Anko-chan" She blushed at the honorific but wiped it away quickly. "Listen, have anyone of you actually seen the kid?"
"Yes" she let him go and showed him a picture of the boy.
"Thats not him, thats me as a kid! Look in the right corner." Anko then looked closer at the picture. In the corner she could see the hokage monument. It only had 4 heads on it. "Your right Naru-kun, this is you. I'm so happy!" She pressed his head to her breast and began to smother him to death. "I'm getting you out of here! ANBU!" Suddenly ANBU appeared next to them. "I will be guarding this one... personally" Naruto sweat dropped at the seductive way she spoke.
OUTSIDE THE BUILDING
Naruto was walking out the building with Anko when Hinata and Ino showed up. They looked to Naruto and said at the same time. "HOW COULD YOU!? I LOVED YOU!"
"Guys, he's innocent."
"Thank Kami" both the girls said
"HOW MANY GIRLS LOVE ME?!" Right when Naruto said that, multiple girls started to come out the bushes, the sewers, the surrounding buildings and out the street. "We love Naruto-kun!" The hundred girls said at once. Naruto looked to his penis and thought 'We got our work cut out for use little guy.'
His penis then started to talk back 'Fuck that, I ain't going limp years from now because you want to fuck so many chicks'
'Come on man look at these girls. Imagine the feeling of being in every one of them.'
'If its anything like Sakura-chan's then I'll pass. That was just horrible, I thought I felt teeth'
'Ok ok, what's the limit then?'
'You don't get to know, I'll surprise you. Just say these are the only girls I'll love.'
'WHAT?!'
'Do it or I'll become numb so you never feel a thing'
'Damn you!' "These are the only girls I'll ever love" Suddenly he lost control of his body 'What the hell is going on!'
'Shut Up! I'm about to pick' Naruto's body suddenly flung towards Hinata and he grabbed her breast. "Sorry Hina-"
"HE'S TOUCHING MY BREAST! HE LOVES ME!" Naruto looked at her in shock as his body then began to move again. He grabbed Ino's breast. "HE LOVES ME!"
'What the FUCK is happening!?'
His body went around touching breast after breast, tit after tit, bosom after bosom, and sweatbag after sweatbag. When it was finally over, some women were happy while others ran away crying. 'I am so fucking confused about what just happened'
'Don't worry about, the only thing that matters is you getting to screw all these lovely babes'
Naruto looked at the group around him. Anko the sadistic freak, Hinata the shy screamer, Ino the dominatrix, Shizune the flexible nurse, Tsunade the cowtit Hokage, Tenten the pain loving weapon mistress, Tayuya the MOTHERFUCKING flutist, Temari the big booty wind master, Konan the tight origami screw, Mei the hot big booty huge tits cute face tight pussy Terumi, and any other person you guys can think of.
'This is going to be fun' said his penis
'You forget we still have to go to court because of Sakura-chan'
'Fuck that bitch, Fuck these Bitches!'
'I guess it won't hurt'
'Don't lie to yourself'
ENDING NOTES
Tell me what you think, this is my first comedy. I am perverted nigga aint I. If I get 2 reviews, I'll continue.