Inspired from Season 8 episode 5
The sounds of gunshots and broken glass were still clear in my ringing ears. The wives had ducked for cover as the glass fell onto the floor. Amber clung to me as we waited until the gunshots stopped. There was a great explosion and then the sound of vehicles driving away. Hesitantly I looked over the window and gasped as I caught sight of the walkers moving to circle the Sanctuary. My eyes raced over each individual to see if I could find Negan. I left the other wives and raced to the meeting room, my heels clicking quickly as I raced and opened the door. Catching Simons gaze he looked away as I didn't see Negan in sight.
"Where is he?"
"I saw him jump out of the way" Dwight spoke now sitting down "but he's still out there"
"You do know there are fucking walkers out there right? Lots"
Simon and one other guy who I knew was in charge of taking supplies from the kingdom looked outside and cursed. Simon rang a hand through his hair before looking at me with a regretful expression "he's a tough son of a bitch, but…honey even Negan couldn't survive that"
My chest tightened at the thought of those dead fucks ripping into his skin, tearing his flesh from his body before devouring it. His painful screams as he tried to get free. I quickly turned and ran towards Negan's room not wanting to go back to the wives room as I knew they would be relieved he was dead. Quickly shutting the door I collapsed onto the floor feeling tears brim against my eyes I the thought of never seeing Negan again. I didn't delude myself into thinking he was a man who could change, who was selfless I knew he liked killing, knew he liked having his harem of wives, knew he liked the respect of people bowing and kissing his ass. But as sick and twisted as it sounded I actually loved that about him.
He was unapologetic, he didn't care if you didn't like how things were run he was just being him. Did I hate the fact I loved the man who shared himself with the other wives? Yes, he killed me to know he would sleep with Frankie or Amber or even Sherry as much as I liked her I felt like screaming at the thought of sharing him. But I knew what I was getting myself into with him. When he asked me to marry him he didn't have an angle like with the other wives. I had no one to look after, I didn't need any of the fancy shit which I have now I just wanted him.
However I didn't say yes right away I wanted to see if it was really me he wanted not just another piece of ass at his beck and call. Truth be told I was a difficult woman. Before everything went to shit and the world ended I had no relationships, never dated and gushed about boys, never wore skirts and dreamed of having 2.5 kids and marriage, the very idea repulsed me. I preferred animals to people, I would be more sad of hearing an animals death rather than a child's death. And I know that sounds bad but…in fact I was very much like Negan in some ways. I never apologized for who I was or what I liked, I loved his bloodthirst and admitted to him and only him along the road before he and his men found me I killed just for the hell of it.
Negan liked that about me, he told me, he liked the fact that I didn't bullshit around and try to be someone who I wasn't. So I made him work for it and showed him all of the technicolour of fuck up emotions I had. I would blow hot and cold, one moment I wanted his arms around me as he flirted with me in the hallways the next I wouldn't want anything to do with him and just wanted to be left alone. Some days I was happy and full of life, like a fairy on crack the next I would be depressed by the amount of people I had lost in the zombie apocalypse. He did get consumed by my behaviour and called me a bipolar crazy woman with his usual grin and gleeful eyes and yet everyday he would ask me to marry him until I finally said yes.
The truth is I didn't like emotional subjects or talking about my feelings because I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to be humiliated and then forced to go on as if I didn't give a shit because I would never allow myself to cry over him. And yet here I sat trying so hard not to cry over the man I had come to fall in love with over the years.
Sniffling I stood up and made my way over to his dresser and pulling out one of his shirts knowing as soon as the workers heard Negan was dead a full shit storm was going to go down between the saviours and the workers. Suddenly the power shut down leaving me in a quiet room with not even the fan as a background noise.
"Shit" I muttered
I heard a gunshot echo from somewhere but payed no attention to it, thinking it was one of the savours keeping the workers in line. Sometime later I heard footsteps moving towards Negan's door. Frowning I turned and grabbed the ice-pick from the liquor tray and prepared myself. My whole body stood in shock as Negan entered, he seemed surprised to see me but then smiled
"Well hello Alice doll, surprised to see me alive?" he closed the door and I ran to him, just as he placed a bloody Lucille onto the ground I jumped into his arm and wrapped my legs around his waist. I clutched to him as I felt him chuckle "did you really miss me that much doll? In case you haven't noticed I'm covered in fucking walker shit"
I payed him no mind not caring the fact he was covered with blood and guts
"Are you ok?" as I clutched back of his hair
He hugged me tight "I'm ok sweetheart" he voice softened and he buried his face in my hair as we stood there in silence for a moment. In this moment I have never been so happy "we had to make our way through the walkers, it's why I'm covered with the shit"
Nodding I grabbed his face as I pulled back "we?"
He grinned "the priest from Alexandra got left behind by the prick Gregory; we had a little heart to heart before I punched him in the fucking throat for trying to shoot me"
Frowning "and he's still alive?"
He chuckled and gave my ass a pat signalling for me to untangle myself from him which I did but he still kept me close with his arms wrapped around my waist "people are resources darlin, I'm about to teach him a whole bunch of shit"
Smiling I pulled back and unzipped his jacket "come on, I'll clean you jacket and you have a shower"
"Your dress is ruined doll, gonna have to get you a new one" he wiped some excess walker from me but I shrugged
"I don't care; we've got more important things to worry about right now other than my dress"
Chuckling he kissed my forehead "that is why your my favourite wife, never dwelling on the little shit"
Rolling my eyes I grabbed his jacket "yeah, yeah I bet you say that to the others, now come on shower, you hungry?"
"Starving" he advanced on me causing me to chuckle and push him away
"Shower you pervert and I'll get you a sandwich"
He actually pouted "spoil sport" he slapped my ass as he walked past me causing my libido to wake up, I glared at him
"You know what that does to me Negan"
Not stopping he turned his head slightly showing me his grin "Believe me darlin, I know"
When I came back dressed in my blue jeans, black heeled boots and red tank top I came with Negan's sandwich and powdered lemonade seeing him sitting on the couch with Simon opposite him. Simon smiled at me before getting up and walking out.
"Well look who's all clean again" I placed the tray in front of him and watched gleefully as he eyed the snack with joy
"Thank you darlin"
I sat opposite him and read my book after a while I noticed it was too quiet; looking up I was slightly startled to see Negan looking at me carefully. As if he was assessing something
"What?"
Tilting his head he leaned forward "you were really worried I died out there honey weren't you?"
Placing my book down I curled a loose stray of my blonde hair behind my ear and smiled "maybe"
"I'm an asshole, you've said that to me before, hell my other 'wives' seemed sad as shit when I walked in and asked Frankie for a fucking, they all hoped I was walker chow. So what makes you give a shit about little old me huh?"
I remained quiet instead of answering I just shrugged "you're not so bad I suppose, and you don't deserve to be walker chow"
He chuckled "honey I am a mean motherfucker and I think you deluded yourself into think I am a good man"
"I'm not deluded" I said snapping "I'm not like your other dumb fuck little wives I don't hate you Negan, I don't think or pray to myself you could be a better man. You know I like you just the way you are. I like your bloodthirsty nature and I like the fact you like killing people. I don't give a shit about that. I just…I don't like the thought of you dying"
Frowning slightly his usual cocky self was gone and he was now fully assessing me.
Sighing I stood and looked down at him "just get some rest Negan, you've got a big day tomorrow"
I was almost at the door when he called my name, turning I glared at him "You think you can give me a massage? I asked Frankie but she said she had a headache and tired"
Scoffing I chuckled "yeah right"
He grinned and I couldn't help but grin back "asshole" I muttered but he must have heard me because he burst out laughing and stood up taking his short off in the process
"You going to give me a happy ending doll"
"Just lay on the fucking bed" I chuckled as he lay face down and I climbed on him rubbing his back and shoulders. He moaned in appreciation and closed his eyes.
Negan managed to stay quiet for a whole 25 minutes before speaking again, I could tell he was near sleep as his voice was deeper "why do you care so much about me doll?"
I continued massaging him before sighing, figuring to face my fears and stop being such a scaredy cat I replied "because…I genuinely love you and I know you have the other wives and I know its fucked up to love a man who fucks other women and likes giving shit and breaking balls…but…I don't know I just love you" once I said it I was praying for my brain to shut up as I continued to talk.
Negan remained quiet until I heard a light snore, chuckling quietly I moved off him and kissed his cheek, living how his beard was growing back as the short spikes tickled my skin "goodnight sweet man"
I was at the door when I heard him mumble against the pillows "Alice?"
"Hmm?"
"Stay here with me tonight doll"
Not asking if he was sure I joined him in bed as we faced each other, I pulled the blanket over us and we held onto each other tight "I'm a lucky son of a bitch to have you Alice"
Kissing his lips I snuggled in deeper to him feeling a smile across my lips as we finally fell asleep.