Just a short one shot set post "Quiet Minds". Angsty, but hopeful.
I do not own Once Upon a Time: it is the property of Adam Horowitz and Eddy Kitsis and ABC.
We Go On
Henry holds her hand as they walk to the grave site. Now that Zelena has been dispatched and he has his memories back, the pain of his father's loss is cutting deep. He needs her to be strong, but it's so hard. Neal didn't deserve this: he was a good man, and she can't figure out why this had to happen to him.
His grave is up ahead, but there is someone else standing vigil there: two people, actually, a man and a woman, their arms around each other's waists. Emma thinks that perhaps she and Henry should come back later, but, as she thinks that, her foot snaps a twig, and Rumplestiltskin and Belle turn.
'I'm sorry,' Emma says quietly: 'we can come back later.'
But Rumplestiltskin is shaking his head. 'No,' he says, his voice hoarse with emotion: 'no, please.'
He holds out his hand in invitation and Emma leads her son closer. Rumplestiltskin looks at his grandson and Henry looks at his grandfather. Only now does Emma really see the resemblance between them, and it makes her smile: they all still have something of Neal.
She can see that Rumplestiltskin wants to say something to Henry and Belle sees it too. The brunette rubs his shoulder soothingly and he seems to take strength from it. He glances at her and she smiles. Emma can see how much they love each other, and she knows that what they have is every bit as strong as her parents' love.
Rumplestiltskin takes a breath. 'Henry, I'm so sorry,' he says, his voice breaking.
Henry lets go of her hand and steps towards his grandfather. 'I'm sorry too,' he says, and Emma can hear in his voice that he's crying.
They stare at each other for a moment and then Henry reaches out as Rumplestiltskin holds his arms out. Henry almost falls into his grandfather's arms and Rumplestiltskin catches him and hugs him close.
Emma hears Rumplestiltskin tell her son that he's like his father. 'He was brave,' he says, 'and noble, and true, and he loved you more than anything.' Henry sobs and clutches him closer, and Rumplestiltskin strokes his hair.
Emma smiles and then has to turn away, blinking and trying to catch her breath.
Belle touches her arm and Emma reaches out blindly, needing the other woman's comfort. Belle pulls her into her arms.
'I'm so sorry,' she whispers tearfully.
'Me too,' Emma murmurs, calming a little. 'Thank you,' she breathes.
Belle nods and pulls back, smiling. Then they watch Rumplestiltskin and Henry as they hug, and Emma is not sure who's holding whom upright. She sees that they need each other now, and that's ok: it's good, actually. If Neal's taught her anything, it's that family belongs together.
Rumplestiltskin strokes Henry's hair once again as her son looks at him, and then all four of them look at Neal's grave. There are two names engraved on it: Neal Cassidy and Baelfire, but they're both the same man. They're both her first love and the father of her child, the son Rumplestiltskin tore a world apart to find again, and the bravest, noblest, most selfless man Emma has ever known.
He wanted her to be happy: he made her promise, and she'll try to keep that promise. She'll also do her best to honour his memory, and she thinks she knows how.
'Henry, I need to have a word with your grandfather,' she says softly.
He nods and turns to go sit on a nearby bench.
'I'll come with you,' Belle says, and, squeezing Rumplestiltskin's hand, she smiles and goes with Henry.
Emma and Rumplestiltskin watch as the petite woman puts a gentle hand on Henry's shoulder, and then Emma turns to Rumplestiltskin, who looks so old suddenly, as he looks at his son's grave.
'I've been asking myself what it was all for,' he says quietly: 'the curse, the magic, the power: none of it means more than him, but it's what I'm left with. All magic comes with a price and this is my price to pay.'
Losing what you really want for what you thought you wanted: that's a heavy price, but an even heavier one is outliving your child and knowing that he died so you could live. Emma doesn't know how she'd deal with that: she can't imagine losing Henry. She remembers what this man once said about losing children, the day he gave her Graham's walkie-talkies, when he'd been the most honest he's ever been with her: 'that's the thing about children, before you know it, you lose them', and she blinks and swallows hard.
'I'm sorry,' she says: she's saying that a lot lately, but it's sincerely meant.
'I'm sorry too,' he says: 'he should be standing here instead of me.'
'We couldn't have defeated Zelena without you: he knew that.'
He moves forward and puts his hand against the cold stone that bears his son's name. 'Even so,' he says quietly, 'I wonder what to do now.'
Emma can see that he's feeling lost, and she knows that Neal wouldn't want that for him. She moves closer and puts her hand against the stone too.
'We go on,' she says, 'because he'd want us to: otherwise, what was his sacrifice for?'
Rumplestiltskin meets her eyes and she sees something she's glimpsed once or twice before: respect.
'I was wrong about you,' he says: 'you've always been so much more than that bail bondsperson. My son couldn't have chosen someone better to love.'
'I loved him too,' she says: 'I still do.'
He nods. 'I know.'
She smiles a little. 'How come you always know, Gold?'
'When you've been around as long as I have, Miss Swan, it comes with the territory.'
'It's Emma,' she says. They're family: he shouldn't still be calling her 'Miss Swan'.
He looks at her for a long moment and then smiles a little. 'Emma: it really is a lovely name.'
She smiles. 'Thanks.' She holds out her hand. 'So, we go on: we remember him the best way we know how.'
He takes her hand and nods. 'Yes.'
'Henry,' Emma calls, and her son comes back to join them, followed by Belle. 'Come for dinner on Sunday,' Emma invites both Rumplestiltskin and Belle.
Rumplestiltskin looks at Belle and she nods. 'We'd like that,' he says.
'Good,' Emma says. 'Just a heads up: Hook and Regina will be there too, but I'll make sure they behave.' She smiles a little at Belle, knowing that she is rightly mistrustful of both Regina and Hook given their history.
'That would be appreciated,' Rumplestiltskin says, holding Belle closer.
Belle smiles her own gratitude. 'Can we bring anything?' she asks.
'Belle makes a delicious peach cobbler,' Rumplestiltskin says.
Emma smiles. 'We'd love to taste it: wouldn't we, Henry?'
Her son nods. 'That'd be great,' he says.
The four of them look once more at Neal's grave and Emma again makes her promise to try to find Tallahassee like he wanted. She knows that, just like he said, he's somewhere watching over all of them. She also knows that this is what he'd want: for them to be a family, for them to hold dear the very thing he made his sacrifice for. That's how best they will remember him: that's how they can go on.
The end - thanks for reading