I know All Stars has reached its finale. But I thought: fuck it, let's just act as if All Stars has yet to happen. The reason for this is because this story is set on the Playa, which was destroyed along with Wawanakwa in the finale. It sucks. Besides, I kinda want to act as if Scourtney never happened. It was an awful pairing and it was 100% pointless in every regard. Everything will continue on from the ending of ROTI and Chris got bailed out of jail before Christmas by Courtney's lawyers.

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Total Drama, the ending for All Stars wouldn't have sucked.

This fic contains some of the usual OOC-ness I provide some of the characters with in my other fics. Enjoy!

The contestants were still living at the Playa because the contracts turned out to be adoption papers (the parents of the contestants thought these papers had to do with fostering instead). Anyway, the contestants were having their second Christmas at the Playa (first Christmas for Alejandro, Sierra and the ROTI cast). It was late November and the tree was being put up in the lobby.

It was an actual tree as well. Chef ran into the woods in Wawanakwa one night and cut down a tree. He brought five interns with him and the tree landed on four of them. The remaining intern had to carry the tree all the way back to the Playa while Chef was riding on it. Additionally, the tree did not need to be cut down, while several other trees did. Dawn noticed this and gave out to Chef. But when Chef shoved her away, Dawn kicked him in the balls and stomped off in a sulk.

However, like every other contestant, Dawn was forced to trim the tree on the pain of being forced to write five JustHer stories and publish them on both DeviantArt and FanFictionNet. Heather was relieved that Dawn decided to help with the decorations but Justin was annoyed. Anyway, the first task for the contestants to find and grab the boxes of ornaments and garlands etc. Sadly, a row over who should be the leader was getting in the way.

"I should be the leader since I am a CIT!" Courtney snapped at Noah.

"Yeah, a CIT at a SUMMER CAMP!" Noah snapped back. "Just because you have been a councillor-in-training does not mean you are the god of trimming the tree."

"Well what do you know about Christmas?" Courtney glared. "You are a Muslim."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Harold interjected. "Christmas is not a Christian holiday! It has emerged from a pagan festival and Jesus Christ was born in July! The only reason idiotic Christians celebrate Christmas in December is so that the holiday can coincide with Hanukkah! Curse your ignorance of the origins of the holiday season! IDIOT!"

"Harold, nobody knows when Jesus was born," Bridgette pointed out. "The date for Christmas Day had to be somewhere in the calendar though and they thought the 25th of December was appropriate."

"I know when Jesus was born, even right down to the second he was born!" Harold snapped at Bridgette, offended by what she said. "I also know Jesus's blood type, genetic code, iris colour, height and weight when he was an organism from 0 to 32 CE."

"Yeah, that was centuries ago Harold; you weren't around that time," Noah deadpanned.

"Will somebody please change the subject before Harold decides to tell us how he claims to have figured Jesus's personal details?" Gwen groaned.

"Well seen as that all of you are idiots you probably wouldn't understand," Harold glared.

"ENOUGH!" Courtney shouted. "Let's just get the boxes with the decorations in them. We need to make it snappy because Chris said we can't do anything else until we have the tree decorated."

Scott was outraged. "Who made you the boss?!" he snarled.

Courtney stood firm before an angry Scott. "Somebody has to take charge." Scott stretched his foot out and kicked her.

"OW! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" Courtney shrieked. She pounced on Scott and proceeded to beat the crap out of him.

"Right, let's just quietly head to the basement and go get the boxes," said Zoey. Everyone else nodded in agreement and they all walked off leaving Courtney and Scott behind.

The boxes were heavy. This was not helped by the fact that Chris would not allow them to use the lift. B, Owen, Tyler, Lindsay and Brick fell down the stairs (though Brick fell only because Izzy pushed him). Owen landed on top of Justin and flattened the poor model. Brick was crying obnoxiously and Eva had to carry him up the stairs and fire him down the stairwell so that he would get knocked out so she won't have to deal with his wailing.

Eventually, boxes are brought to the lobby where the tree was and where Courtney and Scott were still fighting. Eventually the fight ended when Courtney grabbed Scott and fired him out a window and into the lake where Fang was. Courtney was pretty pissed that everyone went to get the boxes without her help but she was willing to get on with the project anyway.

It was a very big tree that almost touched the ceiling. Therefore there were lots of decorations to go on the tree. How Chef managed to get the tree in the lobby was beyond everyone including Harold, Noah, Izzy and Dawn, but they all decided to blame it on cartoon logic.

First they had to put up the Christmas lights. The contestants were having difficulty untangling them.

"This is gonna take forever," Duncan moaned. "Why can't we just cut the knots?"

"Because then we'd end up breaking the lights, genius," Heather rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but I'd be done quicker," Duncan insisted.

"Duncan, you are the laziest prick I've ever come across in my life," Noah snarked.

Duncan glared furiously at Noah. "Says the guy who is doing nothing but sitting on his arse on the couch!" he spat.

"Sorry, but I prefer not to waste my energy on pointless activities," Noah replied. "They will be taken down in early January anyway."

"Well tough! Now get untangling!" Duncan tossed the Christmas lights to Noah.

"Great! Way to get the lights even more tangled," Jo jeered.

"Hey, it's not my fault Noah provoked me!" Duncan protested.

"Well those lights are going to be not much good to us anyway," Trent cut in. "We appear to be missing a bulb."

Cameron scratched his head. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"There are only eighty bulbs," Trent explained.

"That's pretty much what it says on the box," said Eva.

"Exactly," said Trent. "It should have eighty-one bulbs in order to please the Ninth God."

"I thought you liked nine," said a confused Katie.

"Eighty-one is equal to nine times nine," Trent responded. "Eighty-one is a very important number in the Number Nine Religion."

"I bet Followers of the Number Nine Religion only celebrate Christmas because there are nine letters in Christmas," Noah mused.

"Exactly!" said Trent. "This is why Noah should convert from Islam to the Number Nine Religion."

"Why?" Noah questioned Trent.

"Because there are nine pillars in the Number Nine Religion whereas Islam only has five," Trent stated, as if the answer was obvious.

"No thanks; I'm happy enough with the number five, thank you very much," Noah yawned.

"WHAT?!" shrieked Trent. "You blasphemous, nine-hating heretic! You shall experience the wrath of the Power of the Nine!" But before Trent could do anything to Noah, there was a loud slam and started the whole cast. Everyone turned to face Scott, who was crawling in through the front doors. His skin was pale blue from the cold outside and he had many bite marks and wet spots all over his body.

"Don't mind me, I'm fine!" he shouted, sarcastically. He glared over at Courtney. "I was forced to endure the elements of the frigid cold Canadian winter and I was mauled and touched inappropriately by Fang thanks to you ya little bitch!" he snarled.

"Well maybe if you hadn't kicked me in the first place none of this would've happened!" Courtney retorted.

"Done!" Zoey chirped. Everyone turned to look at her.

"You untangled the Christmas lights all by yourself?!" LeShawna was wide-eyed.

"How did you do that?" Beth gasped.

"Well… it's kinda cos I'm a Mary-Sue, heh-heh," Zoey awkwardly replied. "Sorry."

"Hmm, can you use your Mary-Sue-ness to put all the lights on the tree without any difficulty?" Noah wondered. Before Zoey could answer, Mike gasped and snatched the lights out of Zoey's hand.

"SVETLANA VILL DO IT! NOTHING'S ZIMPOSSIBLE VOR SVETLANA!" Svetlana chirped. She immediately proceeded to jump around the tree, effectively laying out the lights as they were supposed to be. Afterwards, Svetlana randomly swung over to Scott, grabbed him and threw him out the same window Courtney threw him out earlier.

"This is not going to end well for Scott," said DJ.

"Ah who cares?" Cody shrugged, looking up from his tablet where he was reading Christmas-themed fan fiction porn about Bridgette and Gwen. "The guy's the dick anyway."

Alejandro locked the front door. "Let's just not let him back in," he suggested. Only Duncan disagreed, but everyone was focusing on what to put on the tree next.

"I want to put up the angel!" said Brick, as he emerged from the cellar.

"I thought I knocked you out," a confused Eva glared.

"He regained his consciousness again because of cartoon logic," Harold corrected the fitness buff. "Curse your stupidity for not realising this fact which is fundamental to way things operate in this universe! IDIOT!"

"Excuse us," said Eva. She grabbed Harold and dragged him into the kitchen. She closed the door behind her on her way in.

"I want to put up the angel!" Brick repeated himself. Everyone looked at one another before selecting their answer.

"We were going to let Chris or Chef do that," Sam replied.

"But I want to do it!" Brick insisted. "And I want to do it now!"

"Brick, we have to put up all the other decorations," Sadie explained. "And there is only one angel to put up."

"I want to put it up!" Brick whined.

"We'll decide on that later," said Dakota.

"I want to do it now!" Brick was getting impatient.

So was everyone else.

"Well tough!" Blaineley scowled. "And just for that, you won't be putting up the angel!"

"I WANT TO PUT UP THE ANGEL!" screamed Brick.

"Now listen here you spoilt little brat!" Blaineley snarled at him. "You can't have everything you want! That's not how life works! Now shut the fuck up or I'll send Izzy after you!"

"YOU'RE SUCH A MEAN C***!" Brick hollered.

"That's it!" Blaineley has had enough. "IZZY!" Izzy leapt out of nowhere and pounced on Brick.

"C'mon Brick!" Izzy chirped. "Izzy's going to teach you gravity by using your body as a control and everything else as a constant!" Izzy ran off carrying a bawling Brick over her shoulder, cackling madly.

"Thank God we got rid of him," Heather sneered. "So what's left?"

"We have to put on the baubles, the ribbons, the tinsel, the stars, the ornaments, the robins and the candy canes…" Geoff paused. "Wait, who ate all the candy canes?" he asked.

Owen burped.

"OWEN!" Courtney snapped at him.

It was half eight in the evening by the time the tree was trimmed. There were many rows over where the decorations were to be placed or how many baubles or how much tinsel were needed (Trent wanted nine of everything). Chris and Chef entered the room to go check out the try. Eva, Izzy and Courtney returned with an injured Harold, Brick and Owen respectively. Scott was allowed back in. His skin was literally blue to a point where Lindsay thought he was Michael Jackson and asked him for an autograph three times. Scott ignored her because he was too busy focusing on plotting his revenge against Courtney and Mike.

"This is an awesome tree!" Chris smiled.

"It would be better if it was full of pictures and pictures of me!" Justin pouted.

"Justin, you are a vagina," Jo snickered at him.

"Yeah, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother invented vaginas," Staci fibbed. "Before that, women had to get inseminated and give birth through their anuses. How sad?"

"Yeah, I bet we all evolved from shit," Jo sneered.

"Yeah, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather invented evolution," Staci fibbed. "Before that-"

"Nobody cares!" Heather scoffed.

"Why else would I compulsively lie to you?" Staci rolled her eyes.

"Wait a minute," said Chef, narrowing his eyes, "where is the angel?"

"We decided that one of you should get to put it up and one of you should get to turn on the lights," said Dawn.

"You really expect us to put ourselves through this much work?" Chris demanded.

"Speak for yourself," Noah interjected.

"I WANT TO PUT UP THE ANGEL!" Brick shouted.

"Brick, you've said that twenty times already," LeShawna sighed. "Will you act yer age for just one minute?" she begged.

"I WANT TO PUT UP THE ANGEL!" Brick shouted even louder this time.

"Ugh, will you shut up already?!" Sierra groaned.

"I WANT TO PUT UP THE FUCKING ANGEL!" Brick bellowed, grabbing the angel from the coffee table and firing it at the tree. This prompted the tree to fall over. The landing prompted all of the decorations to fall off and get tangled in the Christmas lights.

"Aw, Goddamn it!" Cody sighed.

"Sha-way sha-to sha-go, sha-Brick," Lightning glared.

"Told ya we should've put up only nine of everything," Trent huffed.

"Shaddup, math man," Anne Maria muttered, spraying Trent with her canister ten times, much to Trent's chagrin.

"Ah well," Chris shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'll get the interns to make it perfect again during the night. Besides, I was actually counting on someone to go crazy and knock the tree over," he laughed.

"WHAT?!" Eva shrieked. "SO ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT WE'VE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT HARD LABOUR FOR NOTHING?!"

"Ayup!" Chris replied. "I had it all captured on CCTV footage. Think of all the hits these videos of you guys acting like clowns will get on YouTube!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Eva pointed at Chris. "BASTARD! NOW I'M GOING TO THROW SOMEONE OUT THE WINDOW!" Without warning, Eva grabbed Scott and threw him out the same window for the third time that day.

"NOT AGAIN!" Scott yelled as he fell into the lake where Fang was waiting for him.

"Aw, I still haven't got my autograph from Michael Jackson," Lindsay moaned.

"Michael Jackson is dead, Lindsay," Noah rolled his eyes.

"Oh my God, WE KILLED MICHAEL JACKSON!" Lindsay shrieked.

Everyone face-palmed.

"I think you guys should all go to bed so you won't keep the interns "entertained" while they are working," Chris sternly suggested.

"But what about Scott?" Duncan asked.

"I'm sure he's fine," Gwen yawned, stretching before standing up.

"I don't think so," said Duncan, but Gwen didn't care. Neither did anyone else. They all got up and headed towards their bedrooms, leaving Duncan alone in the lobby.

After ages of not submitting a new story or one-shot, I've decided to start this one. I figured I was a little late getting into the spirit of Christmas by not publishing a Christmas fic until now. I can guarantee you though that this fic may ruin your Christmas because of all the nightmares you might be getting from reading this fic.

Until next time!