Only In My Dreams
Chapter One: Atlantis
Is this what Hell is suppose to be like? Having your heart ripped out, chewed up, and spit out at your feet?
Too many times have I been a 'Welcome' mat. This time, instead of crawling back to him, I'm leaving. I know that everybody always says that running from your problems doesn't solve anything. But obviously staying behind and trying to talk them out doesn't solve anything either.
I don't care if people think I'm weak for running. I don't care if I'm followed. I don't care if people are worried. I just don't care.
I'm doing this for me. Not for anybody else, but just for me.
As I walk through this giant New York City airport, with my numb hands, I drag a suitcase, full of my belongings; and a carry on bag, with my journal and other essential thirteen-hour-airplane-flight items. But this isn't my only baggage.
I am forced to carry heartache, heartbreak, mistakes, and hurt onto this steel cabin. My body feels like I am going to buckle underneath all of the physically invisible weight I am bringing with me.
The airport is surprisingly busy for four a.m. as I make my way to gate eighteen. Eighteen. Same as my age. Ironic. The same week I enter adulthood, I leave the country. My friends. My family. Landry.
"Gate twenty-three to Tokyo is now boarding first class," the cheery woman announces.
I am startled out of my day dream by a loud scream and someone ramming into my shoulder as they run past.
"Bitch," I mumble as I begin to pick up my purse. It's the first time in a while I look at my hands. Not just glance but truly look at them. My once beautiful French manicured fingers are now chipped and covered in dried mascara teardrops. My finger tips are plastered with mascara and foundation. I can only imagine how my face looks.
After I gather my things, I hear screams and cried coming from my gate.
"OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU!" Some crazy girl yells.
"MARRY ME!"
"I LOVE YOU, HARRY!"
"OH MY GOD! ONE DIRECTION I LOVE YOU!"
One Direction? The boy band? I look up to make sure I'm at the right gate. A big '18' is over top the waiting area.
"Fuck," I whisper under my breath as I try to push past the crowd of girls to get to the woman to take my ticket so I can get the hell out of this pre-teen mosh pit.
When I finally reach the lady, she looks like she is ready to kill somebody, but gives me a beautifully forced smile.
"Honey, unless you have a ticket, you aren't getting on that plane," she says as she points in the general direction of the aircraft.
"I do have a ticket. I want to escape this screams as much as you do," I answer sympathetically. She smiles sincerely and take my ticket, tearing it and handing it back.
"I'm not sure that is possible," she sighs and points to the walk way to the plane. "Have a nice flight," she says with a wink. I'll choose to ignore that.
I take three steps towards the tunnel before two guards block the way. They look down at me with menacing eyes. But before they or I could say anything, the lady motions them apart and flashes the other half of my boarding pass to the men. They part and I continue on my way.
The tunnel seemed to be never ending. Maybe it was just the fact that once I get to the end of this tunnel, my life would never be the same. I was getting onto a plane heading for London. For my new future. Away from the troubles of home. Away from everything.
Once I reach the plane, a woman greets me with a smile. But not just any smile, a disappointed smile.
"Oh. Hi. Can I help you?" she asks me, puzzled.
"Yeah, can you help me find my seat?" I reply, equally as puzzled.
"Oh! Absolutely! I'm sorry, I was just informed nobody else would be on the aircraft," she explains with a genuine smile. How the hell are people so happy today? It's four in the morning! Oh that's right, this lady probably didn't find out her boyfriend was cheating on her seven hours ago.
After being directed to the first class section of the plane, I grabbed the railing to assist myself up the narrow stairs. I can hear laughter coming from the room. Assuming it is just the other passengers, I continue on.
Once I reach the top of the tight staircase, I am greeted with five pairs of eyes on me. Blue, green, brown, brown, blue-green. Blonde, brown, brown, black, and brown heads look up at me from their seats.
"Umm, I think I'm in the wrong section. Sorry," I blurt out before practically sprinting down the stairs as I look for a flight attendant.
This can't be! No way! That would be so awkward if I sat up there! I refuse! I mentally yell at myself. But then again, what's the worst that could happen? I talk to five of my favorite people on the planet for thirteen hours. Wow! That'd be awful.
But I can't go back up there! I just made a complete fool out of myself be running down the stairs. Besides, they probably wouldn't even talk to me. They'd probably think I was some crazed fan. And I probably look like shit, too.
"Excuse me, love," a man says quietly. I jump slightly before turning around to me met with a boy with puppy dog brown eyes and a shaved head. Liam.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," he apologizes, smiling at me.
"No, you're okay. I was just looking for the bathroom. Clearly it wasn't up there," I say back, giggling slightly.
Liam chuckles before looking down at me and saying, "You know, there is a bathroom up there. Where are you sitting?"
"I-I don't know," I lie. How was I suppose to tell him I was going to be joining them for the next thirteen hours?
"Where's your ticket? I'll help you find your seat, love," he replies, smiling.
Well, it was worth a try,I think to myself. I grab my ticket out of my purse and hand it to him. He takes it gently and examines it, like it's a fossil.
"Oh! You are first class as well? That's awesome! I think you are seated right next to Niall," he points out as he hands me back my ticket. No please! Not my favorite! This is going to be the most awkward plane ride in history.
"Here," Liam says reaching for my carry on bag on the ground, "let me help you."
I begin to object but before I can get anything out, he is already heading up the stairs. Well, here goes nothing!