Ok, the story I'm working on for the KAEX & Voltron anniversaries won't be done for a little while yet. So to make up for it, my friend, Ailee Nolitari, and I, decided to have some fun with this old Christmas poem. I fully admit to being horrible at poems and rhyming...so don't expect perfection here! If anyone can do another one better, please do so! Wouldn't mind the variety. ;)
Merry Christmas, I hope you have a good laugh with this. God knows Ailee and I did.
Until next time,
Mertz
I make no claims to Voltron or any other property owned by WEP.
Twas the night before Christmas…Voltron Edition
Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the castle,
Not a creature was stirring; it wasn't worth the hassle.
The stockings were hung by the rec room fireplace with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Lance, Hunk, and Pidge were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of mechanical lions danced in their heads.
And Allura in her sexy gown, and I in the buff,
Had just settled in to do wild monkey stuff.
When out on the balcony there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
On my way to the window, I slid across the floor,
Tore open the curtains, and threw open the doors.
Then raced back inside for a pair of red drawers.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a humongous sleigh and five lions in gear.
With a tipsy old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, it must be a trick.
More rapid than robeasts, his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name,
"Now Black, Now Blue, Now Red, and Yellow,
"On Green…! Time to form…Blast it! What's your name fellow?!
After a hiccup, a fart and a belch, he yells,
"To the top of the railing! To the top of the wall!
"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the castle-top like coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of presents, and a fellow resembling St. Nicholas too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the castle roof,
The prancing and pawing of each razor clawed hoof.
As I shivered in my underwear, and was turning around,
Down onto the balcony, Coran fell with a wheezing sound.
He was caught in his massive coat, from his head to his foot,
He was bobbing and weaving and having trouble staying put.
A bundle of gifts was flung on his back,
And he looked like a drunken peddler just dropping his pack.
His eyes were all bloodshot, his dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, from drinking too much sherry.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the mustache hiding his lips was half missing from the blow.
He finally righted himself and looked toward the sky,
Shook his fist at the lions, and looked ready to cry.
He was drunk and silly, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
With a wipe of nose and a scratch of his butt,
He straightened his pants and patted his gut.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And dumped the pack on the ground with a jerk.
Presents were flung across the balcony without care,
He was ready to leave, and waved his fist in the air.
He cursed out the lions and demanded a rope.
It landed on his head and he fell, the dope.
Grasping the rope, he gave me the finger,
I thanked God, he decided not to linger.
And laying his finger alongside his nose,
After giving a nod, up into the air he rose.
The lions took off, not giving him a chance,
Coran screamed and cursed, doing a strange mid-air dance.
I heard him exclaim before he flew out of sight,
Damn you lions! I was having a good night!