'No I can't be' she thought as she wiped the vomit from her mouth while sitting huddled next to the toilet. This was the third time that day and it was getting harder to believe that this was just the flu. She stood up slowly and brushed her teeth to rid herself of the foul taste and decided to head to the store to purchase something she never thought she was ever going to need.
Time skip …
As soon as she got home she tore open the box and made her way to the bathroom. She stood next to the vanity, her fingernails drumming on the granite, she checked her watch and saw that three minutes had passes and said "Finally!" she looked at the little stick and her jaw dropped. 'Positive' she thought, her body slid to the floor "It's positive" she cried and tears began to flow freely. She was unsure of her tears were out of happiness or sadness. She thought that when this moment finally came she would feel more excited but instead she just felt trepidation. In reality she was unsure of how she was feeling. Once her tears subsided she cleaned her face and decided to woman up.
"I can do this!" she said to no one in particular. "I can be a mother" she nodded to herself, and started thinking about what the future was going to be like. She imagined all types of scenarios and started making a mental list of things she was going to need for the new life she would bringing into the world. She was so excited about planning she almost forgot about the most important detail, she stopped cold when she realized she would have to tell the father, it was only fair to let him know she was going to have his baby.
"Shit" she swore, she sat down and her mind reeled. She decided that she should try and reach out to him, he did deserve to know at least. She searched for her phone and when she found it she pulled up his number and blew out a breath before hitting the call button to start a video call. She tapped her fingers nervously on her thigh as she waited for an answer. She sighed when his face came on the screen she took note when his eyebrows raised in surprise "Hey Hanji! What's up?"
"Hey Levi" she responded nervously.
"Are you ok?" he asked as he searched her face, she nodded and tried to form an explanation for why she called but no words came out. She finally worked up the nerve to start talking and started stuttering incomprehensibly. Levi furrowed his brow, this was so unlike her, usually she had no trouble talking to him, he wondered what was making her act like this.
"Hanji, is everything ok?" he asked as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah" she said nervously.
"Are you sure? You are acting kind of weird, what's the matter?" he said with worry evident in his voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just really need to talk to you about something important" she finished.
"Can this wait?" he asked.
"Not really" she said and she started to explain but he cut her off.
Umm, well I really don't have time, I'm kind of in the middle of packing I have to leave for a business trip" he replied, and her shoulders dropped. He noticed and opened his mouth to speak when she said "Well maybe we can talk when you get back."
"No Hanji, we can't, I mean I'm leaving town for a while, I got a new assignment for work and I will be gone for about 6 months" he explained.
"Oh" she said rather deflated. "I really need to tell you something" she started but he cut her off.
"Listen, if this is about what happened a few weeks ago, I really don't want to talk about it" he said his voice stern and full of frustration.
She started to speak again, when he cut her off saying" Hanji, it was a mistake, I refuse to talk about his anymore." Hanji tried to keep calm but it was difficult, her emotions were going haywire due to the hormones, she noticed tears had formed in her eyes but she quickly wiped them away but not before he saw. He opened his mouth to ask her what was so important but she stopped him by "Fine, if that's the way you want it, have a safe trip!" she yelled sarcastically as she hung up and threw the phone across the room as her tears began to flow freely. Levi was stunned, he had never know Hanji to act this way, he decided to try and get to the bottom of it and called her back, but she did not answer, 'strange' he thought but he continued to try and get back in touch with her.
She heard her phone ring but she ignored it. 'If that's the way he wants it then fine. I don't need him' she thought as she curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep. She awoke the next morning to the sun hitting her in the face, she rubbed her eyes and sat up slowly, her stomach reeled but thankfully calmed down after a few seconds. She got up and decided to eat, after all she had not eaten the night before and she did have another life to think of now. She looked around and saw her phone still laying on the floor where she had tossed it the night before. She picked it up and switched it on to find she had several missed called and more than a few texts from Levi. She sighed and decided to ignore them. He continued to try and reach her throughout the rest of the day, but to no avail. She refused to take his calls and did not respond to his texts.
He decided to not give up and continued to try and reach her, he called texted her constantly but she every day but she refused to answer. He decided to keep trying but it was getting harder to be patient with her, finally he decided to give up. She was a little dejected when the calls and texts stopped but she guessed it was for the best.
6 month time skip…
Hanji woke up that morning in a great mood, it was the first time in a couple of weeks that she had not dreamed about Levi, and she felt a little relieved. She bounced out of bed and grabbed her clothes and made her way to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. She got out of the shower and dried herself off and rubbed a bit of lotion on her protruding stomach she couldn't believe it had been 6 months since the day she found out she was pregnant, she turned to the side in the mirror so she could study her protruding belly. She smiled as she rubbed the bump, she would have never imagined herself as a mother but the thought was growing on her and she found she was getting more and more excited every day. She snapped out of her daydream and got dressed. She went back to her room and grabbed her phone and glanced at the time, she had spent a little too much time in the bathroom admiring her belly.
"Oh, I'm going to be late" she mumbled as she rushed from the bathroom. She grabbed her keys and flung open the door and stopped in her tracks, her jaw dropped, in her doorway stood the person she had been avoiding. She gulped audibly, he was looking down and only looked up when she said his name. He looked up when he heard her name, first he scanned her face and then his eyes immediately fell to her belly. To say he was shocked would have been an understatement. "Oh my" he said.
He stared at her belly until she said his name again. He shook his head and said "Umm, can I come in?" She stepped to the side and motioned for him to enter. She watched as he made his way to the couch and sat down. She shut the door and went to sit down across from him.
"Hanji I…." he started but stopped abruptly. He put his head in his hands and blew out a breath, he raised his head and saw her looking at him slight worry etched on her face.
"I know what you are going to say" she murmured. He was shocked to hear these words come out of her mouth, no shocked was not the word, he was furious.
He stood up abruptly and raised his voice "Do you? Do you really? Well why don't you tell me?"
Hanji was speechless, she never thought she would see him again, and here he was in her living room. "Levi, I…"
"You what Hanji? Did you ever plan on telling me?" he spat at her.
Hanji stood up and shot right back " I tried to tell you Levi, but you refused to talk to me, you told me you didn't want to talk about what happened between us. "
"Well if I had known this was the result, I would have talked to you" he said as he motioned to her protruding belly. "Levi, you said you didn't want to talk about it and I tried to respect that, but you practically told me to forget it and drop the subject."
"Don't you think I deserved to know?" he asked in a hurt voice. "You could have tried harder to tell me, I would have listened if you had just said something that day."
"Levi I…." she trailed off, she walked over to him and tried to place a hand on his shoulder but he pulled away from her.
"Hanji, I reached out to you, I called and texted every day for months. You ignored me; you ignored me for months" he said with hurt evident in his voice.
"Levi…." Was all she could muster. He turned to face her and rolled his eyes "Well let me make this easy for you" and with that he walked out the door slamming it as he exited. Hanji had a hard time processing what had just happened, she was unbelievable sad, hurt and all around felt shitty. She never imagined Levi finding out like this and her heart was broken, she knew he was right, she shouldn't have ignored him, and she should have tried harder to tell him.
She lay down on the couch, forgetting about the errands she was going to run, and spent the rest of the day wallowing in self-pity. After hours of crying she decided the best thing for her would be to try and make amends. She called Levi, but he ignored her just like she had ignored him. She kept on trying to reach him but it was no use, she tried to call him every day like he had with her and she sent texts constantly.
She was about to give up on him, it had been a month and he still had not responded to her calls, she decided to give it one last shot and sent him a text that she hoped he would respond to.
Her: Levi can we please talk? Please? I'm sorry, for everything.
She waited for a response and perked up when he finally sent her a text back saying:
Him: Alright, tonight meet me at our place 7pm.
Her: Great, see you there!
And with that she breathed out a sigh of relief. She heaved a sigh of relief and nodded her head, she was going to make sure to make it up to him for sure.
Time skip…..
Levi glanced at his watch again, for the third time in five minutes. 'I can't believe she is this late' he said as he paced in front of the location he was supposed to meet her at. He was a little frustrated and more than a little worried. He called her again but she did not answer. He wasted no time and hurried towards her apartment, he ran up the steps and began to knock on her door, when he heard no answer he started banging on the door calling out her name. He waited and finally he heard a sound, she let out a scream and he wasted no time in busting down the door and running into her home.
"Hanji" he shouted as he searched the living room for her.
"In here" he heard her say, he followed the sound of her voice and found her in the bathroom on the floor clutching her stomach. He knelt down next to her and whispered "Hanji is everything ok?"
She shook her head and grit her teeth. "What's wrong?" he asked his voice full of concern.
"Labor" she said panting, as sweat started to form at her brow.
"Oh shit!" he said and without thinking "What can I do?"
"Hospital" she said through clenched teeth. He nodded as he snaked an arm around her waist and hoisted her up, he made his way out of her apartment and down to his car, all the while trying to keep Hanji calm between contractions. He sat her in the car and rushed her to the nearest hospital.
He parked the car and hurried over to help her out, he supported her as they made their way into the hospital where she was immediately whisked away. Levi was told to sit in the waiting room. He was unsure of what he could do so he fidgeted nervously while checking his watch every few minutes trying anything to keep himself from worrying. After several hours of waiting the doctor finally emerged and made his way over to him. Levi perked up when the doctor said his name.
"Is she ok?" he asked hesitantly. The doctor nodded and proceeded to tell him that Hanji was fine and had delivered a healthy beautiful baby girl. Levi nodded as he heaved a sigh of relief, he glanced over the doctor's shoulder to the doors and the doctor smiled, "Go see her" he said and without another word Levi rushed through the doors towards Hanji's room. He reached her room and stood there nervously before knocking, he heard Hanji say come in and he opened the door slightly, he stepped in and his breath hitched in his throat. He took a deep breath to calm himself when he saw Hanji holding a small bundle wrapped in a blanket. She smiled at him and motioned for him to come over to the bed. He tiptoed over and looked down at the tiny bundle. He gasped, and she chuckled at his reaction.
"She looks like you" he whispered.
Hanji smiled "She has your eyes" she replied. He was surprised, he wasn't paying much attention when he first laid eyes on her, his gaze fell back to the infant to look at her more closely, he saw her eyes were a smoky gray just like his. Levi smiled as he studied the tiny bundle, Hanji watched him as he studied his daughter. "Levi" she whispered and his gaze traveled from the infant to Hanji.
Hanji licker her lips nervously, she was unsure of what to say to him, so she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.
"Levi I understand if you don't want to be a part of our lives" Hanji said nervously. The smile fell from Levi's face and he growled in frustration as he backed away from the bed.
"Dammit Hanji" he shouted. Hanji opened her mouth to speak but the look on his face told her it would be wiser not to say anything. He paced back and forth at the foot of her bed mumbling to himself. Hanji said his name and he glared at her, he was about to speak when he decided that he was too angry to speak to her. Instead storms out of the room and she heaves a sigh "What did I just do?" she says aloud. She looks down at the infant and starts to cry, this was supposed to be a happy occasion but it seems like she messed things up yet again. She clutched the baby to her breast and started sobbing. She only stops when the baby starts to cry, she looks down at her daughter and wipes away her tears, she had to be strong for her, she nodded and decided to not think about Levi, she kissed the infant on the forehead and resolved to be the best mother she could be.
A few days later it was time for her and the baby to be released, she sits in the wheelchair and is cooing at her daughter as she is wheeled towards the exit. The nurse stops abruptly and she looks up and a look of surprise crosses her face, there standing outside the door is Levi, she is surprised and nervous to see him, she wasn't sure why he was there, considering how she had treated him several days earlier.
He says nothing as he walks over to her and grabs the handles of the wheelchair and pushes her outside to his car, he does not say a word as he helps her get out of the wheelchair and helps her get the baby buckled into the car seat, he glances at her as she is buckling herself in but does not utter a word, he makes his way around to the driver's side and sits down, He adjusts his mirror and sees her reflection, he smiles sweetly at her and she is more that relieved. HE starts the car and they pull out of the parking but instead of turning in the direction of her apartment he turns the opposite direction, she opens her mouth to ask where they are going and he cuts her off saying "It's a surprise." She quiets down and watched the scenery change wondering wherein the world they could be going.
Finally he pulls up in from of a house and gets out of the car, he walks over and opens the door for her and she gathers up the baby in her arms, he guides he to the front door not saying a word, he sees the confused look on her face and chuckles. He takes a key out of his pocket and opens the door and quickly ushers her inside.
She steps inside and looks around the house taking everything in, she turns and is about to ask him why they were in a strangers house when he got down on one knee, she gasped as he said "Look Hanji I know I wasn't there for you when you needed it and I was a huge jerk, but I want to be there not just for you but for our child." He waves his hand and continues "this is my way of asking if the three of us can be a family?"
Hanji is stunned almost too stunned to speak, she walks towards him and says "Levi, are you asking me what I think you are asking me?"
He nods and pulls a box out of his pocket. "Hanji, will you be my wife?" She starts to cry and he stands up and pulls her closer, he wipes away her tears and kisses her; he takes her hand and slips the ring on her finger. She smiles and he says "Come on let me show you the rest of the house, you haven't even seen the best part!" he grabs her hand and leads her to a room, he opens the door and she enters and whispers "It's beautiful! Levi when did you have time to do this?"
"Well, to be honest, I started after I came back and came to see you and found out you were pregnant, I realized that I handled things wrong and wanted to try and show you that I was sorry for how I reacted and wanted to do something big to show you how I felt, this nursery is just one way of apologizing" he explained.
"But, that day at the hospital, when you left, you were so mad" she said.
"Yes I was, I was hurt and mad, but I realized that your brain had probably gone stupid from the drugs and hormones and you didn't know what you were saying" he finished. She laughed and nodded, he pulled her close and hugged her, she whispered "you're probably right, and I'm really sorry for everything." He kissed her forehead and reached out for the infant. She placed his daughter in his arms and glowed at the sight of him with his child. He kissed the baby and placed her in the crib. He walks back to Hanji and pulls her body to his and kisses her passionately. Her mind reels and he breaks the kiss to say "Come on you haven't seen the rest of the house." He drags her out of the room and takes her room to room showing off the home he made for them. Finally he comes to a door and stops and says "close your eyes" he furrows her brows but complies with his request. He takes her hand and leads her inside and then tells her to open her eyes "May I present, your very own lab!" She looks around the room and starts to cry, he is momentarily confused but then realized she is not crying out of sadness but happiness. He envelops her into a hug and kisses her forehead.
Later that night the two of them are lounging on the couch, she has her head in his lap as he rubs his hands through her hair. She is absolutely exhausted after taking care of their daughter and falls asleep as he caresses her. She sighs and he smirks, he starts to think about how lucky he is and then suddenly they hear a cry come from the nursery, she jumps as her eyes fly open and she is on her feet in an instant, Levi places a hand on her shoulder and says "I'll go", she smiles as he motions for her to lay back down, he covers her up with a blanket and is asleep in seconds as he walks to the nursery to care for his daughter.