Another crack idea of mine. I won't give away the inspiration just yet, so just wait for the next chapter. I do not own FMA or Bleach. ENJOY~!
3 Waffle
S'mores
"What do you want Colonel Bastard?"
"Well Fullmetal, there's some weird white haired guy in my office who claims he knows you and your brother. Think you can get your midget self over here before I kick him out?"
"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"
"And by the- holy shit he just coughed up some blood!"
"I'll be right there, don't burn him to a crisp," Edward Elric hung up the phone, sighing.
One maniacal bus ride and Ed falling flat on his automail later!
"Ah, Ed-kun! You've...grown?" The white haired man smiled, though he did raise an eyebrow in curiosity.
Ed grinned, tempted to nearly hug the man for the compliment. "Thanks!" He beamed, grinning over at Al and the Colonel. "See! HA! I did grow taller!" He bragged.
Mustang held back laughter, and Al quietly agreed, too surprised to see their Captain once more.
"Ah, Al, is that you?!" The man exclaimed, jumping slightly, causing his ponytailed hair to bounce lightly to one side of his shoulders. "You've REALLY grown!" He walked over to what SHOULD have been the little boy he had come to know and love. He raised his hand up to do a small height comparison, slowly going from the top of his head over to Al's.
"Err-- Umm-- I-I wouldn't do that if I were you!" The walking talking suit of armor shouted hurriedly.
"Eh, why not?" The man questioned, finally reaching the boy's head, with more impact than he had expected.
And with that, Al's 'head' came toppling off, and the white haired man stared, a bit of blood showing at the corners of his mouth as he saw nothing inside.
"I'm feeling a bit faint..."
He mumbled, before collapsing on to the floor.
"Okay, would someone mind explaining to me WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE? All I know is that some weird man in weird clothes with unnaturally colored hair just fainted on my floor, who supposedly knows the Full Metal Brat! So cough it up, you two!" Roy exclaimed, with a loud voice that was more than enough to send any villain running away with their pants a bit more than wet.
After a moment or so of silence, Ed finally regained composure. "I'll explain later, okay?!" He shouted, pointing to Ukitake on the floor. "Just help me get that man to the infirmary!" He continued, as Al was nearly running in circles literally trying to get his head back on, yelping and frantically motioning toward their beloved Captain all at once.
Roy's eyebrows furrowed even further, if that was even possible, and he grunted. "Fine, Full Metal. But this is coming out of your salary!"
Ed hurriedly nodded, "Just help us, alright?!"
One groggy ride to the hospital and an hour later!
"Ugh....where am I again? This isn't Soul Society!" Ukitake shouted frantically, looking around and clutching the sheets like the little girl he was.
"Don't worry Captain! You're safe here," Al's young, child-like voice exclaimed, resonating a bit inside of his armor.
"Oh, right, you're armor....is....empty." He gulped, trying to avoid fainting again.
"Why are you here, anyways, Captain?" The boy frowned, trying to figure it out himself.
"More importantly, why is your brother an empty suit of armor?!" Ukitake broke out.
"Eheh, that isn't all..." Ed pulled up his jacket, then his pant leg, to reveal two automail body parts.
The man gaped, this time REALLY trying not to pass out again. He bit his lip, and took a deep breath.
"Before I tell you why I'm here, I think you both have more than a bit of explaining to do..." Nervous laughter from the two brothers followed.
"Well, you see...."
"The end!" Ed concluded one loooong story and many interruptions later.
This time, Ukitake really did pass out.
"C-Captain! Not again....."
About thirty more minutes later, the white haired Captain awoke for the second time that day.
"Okay, Captain, we explained our story to you, now you tell us!" Al pouted, or he would have, had he not been made of metal.
Ukitake looked away. "Okay, fine, fine, but first..." His smile brightened as he looked at them. "I just have to show you the snacks I got from the human world!"
"Figures...." They mumbled sweat dropping as the man rummaged through his sleeves, looking for what he had gotten.
"Ah, here it is!" He grinned triumphantly, pulling out a brown bar that had the words HERSHEY engraved on the front.
"Umm, sir, what is that....?" Al questioned, a bit disappointed, yet relieved at the same time that he wouldn't have to try any.
"It's chocolate!"
"Choco...what?"
"Chocolate!" He continued to explain. "It's a nice, sweet substance on Earth that tastes really good!" he nodded as he said this, shoving a bar in to the Full Metal's hands.
"I...err....Captain--"
"Oh! And it also goes great with these," He pulled out some marshmallows and ghramcrackers, pushing them in to armor boy's hands.
"C-Captain..." Al said, trying to get his attention just as his brother had.
"Of course we'll need to stack them up and heat them, do you have a stove that we can use? I--"
"CAPTAIN!" Ed bellowed, tired of being cut off.
"Yes, Ed-kun? No need to scream, I'm right here." He smiled brightly, patting the boy on the back.
"You never told us why you were here....."
Ukitake froze where he was, nearly crumbling to the ground, if he could.
"I could heat up this so called chocolate and stu--"
"Never mind that now!" Ed snapped, glaring daggers at the Flame Alchemist, who smirked in return.
"Explain!" He turned to Ukitake.
The white haired man let out a sigh.
"Well, you see....."
A dinging sound came from the distance.
"Ah! Look! The cookies are done!" With that, he perkily got out of bed and skipped over.
"C-CAPTAIIIIN!"
Hmm… kind of makes you wonder when Ukitake had the time to make cookies… It also makes you wonder where he gets all those sweets… but that isn't explained either~!
Please review, no flames please!
3 Waffle