Setup: Tension on the enterprise between a certain Vulcan and Human has
escalated to the point that it has drawn the attention of the CONTINUUM.
Duh, Duh, Duh, Dum!
Chapter 1 – A Tail of Two Enterprises
A flash appeared on the bridge of the Enterprise. Like so many other flashes from the past. Picard and the crew turned as one in reaction to the intruder.
Picard sat back in the command chair and let out a long suffering sigh.
"Greetings, mon Capitaine." Q stood rakishly before them in an Earth uniform that dated back to the time of the first human commanded warp starships. Picard admired the simple cotton/synthetic blend jumpsuit worn in that era. Maybe, he thought, if our uniforms were like that, I wouldn't always have to be constantly pulling down this damned tunic. It does ride up rather annoyingly, he mused.
"What? Not thrilled to see Moi? Frankly, Jean Luc, I am crushed." Q seemed to be absorbed picking a piece of fuzz from the sleeve of his uniform.
"What do you want Q?"
It was Q's turn to sigh, though much more dramatically. "No small talk anymore, Jean Luc? I see that all we have left between us is Slam, Bang, thank you Q. I remember when it used to be soooo different." Q shook his head with mock chagrin. A cigarette appeared in his hand. He took a long drag and blew out an almost impossible amount of smoke threw his mouth. And then burst into his most sunny and dangerous smile.
A growl started to emanate from the vicinity of the tactical station. "Oh Worf, I see that you have yet to graduate from obedience school. Jean Luc would be so proud to hang that diploma in his office." Worf took a menacing step toward Q, when the Captain raised his hand and stopped his progress.
Picard's voice hardened, as his patience was stretched to the limit. "Q."
"Right. Well I am in need of a favor. Actually, I am in need of a member of your crew." Q looked around at the bridge personnel. Well that shook them out of their complacency a bit, he thought, as he smiled to himself.
Picard stood up and took a step toward the rogue that had come to be a thorn in his side over the years. "If you think for one moment that I would sanction your use of a member of this crew…"
"Whoa there, Mon Capitaine. I am in need of the crew member that has a fondness for feline supplement #7."
"Captain, I believe that Q is referring to my cat, Spot." Data seemed to be concerned; " I do not believe that Spot would be interested in accompanying Q – anywhere."
"Wow, Data, that emotion chip of yours is something else! How ever do you control yourself?" Q turned away from Data and refocused his questionable charm back on the captain.
"Captain, I am in need of Spot's assistance on a diplomatic mission to address a delicate problem in interspecies relations." With out asking – no one assumed that he would – a flash occurred again on the bridge. Q now held Spot in his arms. "Of course Spot will need to undergo a minor, and I assure, you completely reversible…sex change operation."
Data stood in attempt to confront Q.
"Data, I promise, Spot will not leave the Enterprise – I swear." And with that Q disappeared in another flash. The bridge crew could swear that they heard his laughter lingering for a moment after he was gone.
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"All I am suggesting, Captain, is that we proceed with caution and delay the survey of the planet until we are able to complete a mission impact assessment. It should not take more than two days."
Tucker looked at T'Pol with a greater than usual amount of exasperation. "I swear T'Pol. You need to see Dr. Phlox as soon as possible."
"I fail to see the need to visit sick bay commander. I am in perfect health."
"Oh no, I was think'n that the doctor needs to investigate using you…as the perfect antidote to spontaneity and adventure."
T'Pol leaned slightly forward in her chair at the conference room table. "If that is the case, then you should proceed to sickbay with all due haste. The doctor will surely find that you are the antidote to…"
The Captain interrupted, "Trip, T'Pol…"
"…Any and all rational thought."
Commander Tucker rose from his chair, the legs squealing with protest as T'Pol simultaneously rose to confront him.
Archer looked down the table at his two officers. This was getting out of hand and something had to give and soon. As the two glared across the table at each other, Archer attempted to break through the hostility. In a tone that seemed to grow in volume and aggravation he said, "Is anyone here aware that your commanding officer is sitting at this table with you?"
His clipped tone seemed to finally get through to the two combatants when there was a flash of light and a tall man seeming to be wearing a twenty first century football referee uniform appeared. As Trip and T'Pol retreated in surprise, the intruder proceeded to blow a piercing blast from a whistle that hung from his neck.
Chapter 1 – A Tail of Two Enterprises
A flash appeared on the bridge of the Enterprise. Like so many other flashes from the past. Picard and the crew turned as one in reaction to the intruder.
Picard sat back in the command chair and let out a long suffering sigh.
"Greetings, mon Capitaine." Q stood rakishly before them in an Earth uniform that dated back to the time of the first human commanded warp starships. Picard admired the simple cotton/synthetic blend jumpsuit worn in that era. Maybe, he thought, if our uniforms were like that, I wouldn't always have to be constantly pulling down this damned tunic. It does ride up rather annoyingly, he mused.
"What? Not thrilled to see Moi? Frankly, Jean Luc, I am crushed." Q seemed to be absorbed picking a piece of fuzz from the sleeve of his uniform.
"What do you want Q?"
It was Q's turn to sigh, though much more dramatically. "No small talk anymore, Jean Luc? I see that all we have left between us is Slam, Bang, thank you Q. I remember when it used to be soooo different." Q shook his head with mock chagrin. A cigarette appeared in his hand. He took a long drag and blew out an almost impossible amount of smoke threw his mouth. And then burst into his most sunny and dangerous smile.
A growl started to emanate from the vicinity of the tactical station. "Oh Worf, I see that you have yet to graduate from obedience school. Jean Luc would be so proud to hang that diploma in his office." Worf took a menacing step toward Q, when the Captain raised his hand and stopped his progress.
Picard's voice hardened, as his patience was stretched to the limit. "Q."
"Right. Well I am in need of a favor. Actually, I am in need of a member of your crew." Q looked around at the bridge personnel. Well that shook them out of their complacency a bit, he thought, as he smiled to himself.
Picard stood up and took a step toward the rogue that had come to be a thorn in his side over the years. "If you think for one moment that I would sanction your use of a member of this crew…"
"Whoa there, Mon Capitaine. I am in need of the crew member that has a fondness for feline supplement #7."
"Captain, I believe that Q is referring to my cat, Spot." Data seemed to be concerned; " I do not believe that Spot would be interested in accompanying Q – anywhere."
"Wow, Data, that emotion chip of yours is something else! How ever do you control yourself?" Q turned away from Data and refocused his questionable charm back on the captain.
"Captain, I am in need of Spot's assistance on a diplomatic mission to address a delicate problem in interspecies relations." With out asking – no one assumed that he would – a flash occurred again on the bridge. Q now held Spot in his arms. "Of course Spot will need to undergo a minor, and I assure, you completely reversible…sex change operation."
Data stood in attempt to confront Q.
"Data, I promise, Spot will not leave the Enterprise – I swear." And with that Q disappeared in another flash. The bridge crew could swear that they heard his laughter lingering for a moment after he was gone.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@
"All I am suggesting, Captain, is that we proceed with caution and delay the survey of the planet until we are able to complete a mission impact assessment. It should not take more than two days."
Tucker looked at T'Pol with a greater than usual amount of exasperation. "I swear T'Pol. You need to see Dr. Phlox as soon as possible."
"I fail to see the need to visit sick bay commander. I am in perfect health."
"Oh no, I was think'n that the doctor needs to investigate using you…as the perfect antidote to spontaneity and adventure."
T'Pol leaned slightly forward in her chair at the conference room table. "If that is the case, then you should proceed to sickbay with all due haste. The doctor will surely find that you are the antidote to…"
The Captain interrupted, "Trip, T'Pol…"
"…Any and all rational thought."
Commander Tucker rose from his chair, the legs squealing with protest as T'Pol simultaneously rose to confront him.
Archer looked down the table at his two officers. This was getting out of hand and something had to give and soon. As the two glared across the table at each other, Archer attempted to break through the hostility. In a tone that seemed to grow in volume and aggravation he said, "Is anyone here aware that your commanding officer is sitting at this table with you?"
His clipped tone seemed to finally get through to the two combatants when there was a flash of light and a tall man seeming to be wearing a twenty first century football referee uniform appeared. As Trip and T'Pol retreated in surprise, the intruder proceeded to blow a piercing blast from a whistle that hung from his neck.