Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or DRRR and it's brilliance. My knowledge is limited. In truth I haven't even finished the show yet. I'm actually mid way in DurararaX2 around Season Ten about the sixth episode or so right after Izaya got stabbed, but already my mind is abuzz with fanfic ideas! The possibilities are endless! And I couldn't even wait till I had finished all the episodes to start this little gem! So I'm mostly going on the first season here as canon, and I honestly don't know where I'll be landing when I'm done but hey it's all for fun right!? So characters may occasionally seem very OOC because in reality I'm about the furthest one can get from being a gangster. Second, living in a box as I do, I'm not sure how much I can realistically capture city life! Worth a try!
P.S. I lost my job….-_- Oh shizu-chan….I can relate! Sob.
Prologue:
There was a time when people would have been surprised to know that magical beings exist and that they could through trying dedication be found everyday on every continent. It wouldn't of been easy to find them per say, in some cases like hydras for example, it would have been down right difficult.
However the possibility although slim, was there. Though once upon a time people thought it wasn't, people assumed that magic was a myth, or that it was extinct, which is what made it all the more amazing when someone finally did find a magical entity.
Most likely already dead…
Nowadays though, particularly in the country of Japan in one very special city, nobody would even blink if all of a sudden say? A unicorn just happened to walk down the street. No the citizens of Ikebukuro, have become rather open minded when it comes to the extraordinary or supernatural and who wouldn't? Considering that everyday they see a black rider drive along their streets with strange creepy shadows and a missing head?
Oh. She often wears a yellow helmet and that certainly helps, but every now and then the people of the 'town' can't help but get lost in the sight of her. Even the most jaded citizens of the 'town' or the most 'hardened' of heart cannot help the pulse of childlike excitement that grows in their veins as they watch her drive by or ignore the small bits of fear.
They can't help the tingle that creeps up their spines that warms their souls with the whisper that maybe just maybe, 'Santa Claus' was real as well as 'the boogeyman'?
Yes. In the city of Ikebukuro a silent unified awe fills the humans. They are proud and altogether fully accepting of the Dullahan, living amongst them. This heavy yet quiet gratitude that the humans feel for the Dullahan is shared amongst themselves with joy. For despite so many years absent some extent of magic is finally once again being seen by them in the world alive & breathing, & well… alive anyway.
Sigh
Celty Sturluson sure is one lucky gal.
She's also one lucky magical being.
Not all of us were that lucky.
Many of us were shown the damn door, bullied, harassed, harmed, burned, hunted, shackled, and finally murdered.
Celty Sturluson lucky duck that she is doesn't know how kind fate has been to her, and it would be a lie to say she isn't envied.
However, opinions of her tend to vary: the high fairies or the Fae don't really care, they have other more pressing priorities, like keeping the planet safe from comets. (One never knows with them.) The elves are all over the place, some hate her, some love her some just want to 'toy' with her. (It's best not to ask. Believe me you don't want to know the details.) The vampires are just waiting to see how she'll go up in smoke. They think she's lost her damn mind! The werewolves are too busy trying to survive to take much notice and that goes for the imps as well. The goblins are too busy laughing at the whole affair to really focus in on the situation, (not too mention their king has his own mortal/immortal love life drama to sort out, cause apparently his would be bride doesn't care for peaches), anyway the various sea-folk keep arguing from Selkies to Kelpies on whether or not she should be snuffed out before everyone gets caught in a metaphorical fishnet!
The monsters/demons are too busy trying too f-up the angels to really get involved, and the angels in turn are too busy trying to f-up the demons/monsters. Theirs is a complicated love affair that would take at least a millennia to explain. So let's skip it.
Moving on, as for the other Dullahan's let's just say the word "PANIC" doesn't even begin to scratch the surface! Their whole little society has gone so far underground even undead miners aren't going to find them any time soon. No sir, at least not in ninety years or so. They're gone folks! Out the door and down the road! Forget the car, the cat, the keys, the house, it's sayonara everybody, splits Ville! Adios Amigos! Au Revoir! Arrivederci! Laterz!
Yes.
Celty Sturluson isn't aware of it, because she lost her head; but right now she's under the false assumption that she's the only magical/mythological creature that exists. Or at least she's the only one she's noticed around, and in her state of forgetfulness she's made an interesting choice. She's committed the ultimate taboo. She's decided to live and re-integrate herself in the very center of the human world. Unintentionally, shaking up every other magical/mythological creature's center of gravity, right down to their three clawed toes! With the inevitable thought of, 'What if I could too? Or maybe I don't have to hide anymore?'
Ah yes. The ever-present question in any 'magical beings mind', 'To reveal or not to reveal?'
It's a nuisance that question.
Particularly, if you fall under one key selective category of mythological being, one that has tried quite a few times to 'live peacefully' with 'mankind'.
Sigh.
Well there's no getting around it.
Were witches.
Or well….um..
Sigh.
Okay.
I'm a Witch.
In …fact….I'm the last Witch.
That's right.
Party of one people, I get all the cake to myself..…Ha.
...
..
.
Look I'm not going to explain why I'm all that's left. I wouldn't even know how to start. Let me just say the word Salem and you can take it from there, besides that's not important, and I don't have time to go into my past. What's important right now is that I've found myself in a bit of a bad situation. A real head turnerif I do say so.
And I'm kinda stuck. Okay…I confess I'm really, really stuck!
Worse yet, because of these unforeseen troublesome circumstances, not only am I stuck…..but a seriously effed up nutty fruitcake with a wannabe god complex is holding me upside down on his shoulder!
Oh God, Buddha, Jesus, Kami, Vishnu, Goddess I don't care whoever is listening please oh please don't let him catch on to the fact that I'm holding my breath!
And don't let this human jerk drop me!
And while were talking Higher Powers let me ask just one thing.
What kind of sick perverted bastard keeps a HEAD in his office to play with!?
Here I thought things couldn't get any worse and now this!
OH GOD NECROPHILIA!
!
Okay.
Okay.
Easy girl. Calm down. Lets think about this rationally. Now last time you got stuck like this, you landed in that comatose patient named Aimi, and all you had to do was wait it out, and pretend to be her a bit. Tell her parents you love them, chat with the nurses, play amnesia up like it's nobody's business, play dumb etc. etc. This will be a breeze compared to that stunt. After all, here you're just stuck in a head, it's not like your going to be up and walking around anytime soon, HA.
I so got this.
Whoosh!
AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T THROW ME UP IN THE AIR AGAIN! OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD. DON'T HURL. DON'T HURL.
SHIT!
Lord he's holding me again! OH NO! NO! NO! DON'T TOSS ME! DON'T TOSS ME!
Whoosh!
I'M A HEAD! NOT A SOCCER BALL! OHHH! I'M GONNA THROW UP! PRETEND YOU'RE ON A BROOM! PRETEND YOU'RE ON A BROOM!
Thump.
Oh Thank the Higher Powers! It's over! I didn't even know it was possible for a head to feel nauseous, this just proves it, either flying is not my forte or I'm seriously out of practice!
Now what's he doing?
"Ah. Namie-san you should have seen how my humans just scuttled around today, although I could have done without the punch from Simon, ah but the fun I had! That's why I love them so much, eh Namie, my humans are so amusing to mess around with, did you see how.." and on and on he droned. For the next two hours straight almost, in which case I learned quite a lot more about this man named Izaya Orihara then I had ever possibly wanted to know or dream of. Truthfully I wish it had been a dream, but hey life doesn't always go according to plan. So instead I found myself listening to these two psychos', all while trying to keep as inhumanely still as possible. If you've ever had an itchy nose this is a bit tough. Being the talkative sort doesn't help much either.
Ahem.
Somehow I seemed to be succeeding or maybe they just weren't paying attention that closely because they didn't realize the head on the table was awake.
Wide awake and growing steadily more and more horrified as the seconds ticked by, Higher Deities above, this Izaya was more messed up then an abstract painting? Not only was he a schemer, a liar, a head -stealing thief (I might particularly note)((if he shrinks me I'm gonna be pissed)), but he's also a manipulative information broker with Yakuza dealings. Yakuza! Like the Mafia! The Mob! The shoot first an ask questions later; drop your bodies in the river! Put you in a bag sort!
After I heard that it all went down hill from there folks.
In the end I decided to put him down as a sort of hybrid love child between the Joker and Lex Luthor. Yeah. That seemed to sum him up quite nicely, I thought.
The woman Namie on the other hand, well I have to admit at first I thought there was some ray of hope of normalcy for Mr. Izaya-san. In truth I was kind of by that point between him constantly petting the head and me being stuck in said head, praying she was his girlfriend. I still am, actually. Because the petting is getting just a little creepy and I really don't know what I'm gonna do if he kisses me. It? Oh god.
.
.
…*Perverted! Necro..& %ahgHAH..(SOB)…HAHA&*^%$ !^!
.
.
Ahem. Excuse me there.
I had a bit of a wee break down.
Back to this Namie? Well it turns out that she's gone down the mad scientist route and has a thing for her brother. I'm not a fan of incest. Just because I'm a witch, doesn't mean I don't know a few scientific facts in regards to genes and healthy offspring. To be blunt, I'm just going to say it, this Namie not's so bad, but you would think an ex-pharmaceutical worker would consider the biological repercussions of wanting to do the 'Big Tango' with her little brother.
Houston honey. We've missed the moon and landed on mars and yes the Martians are here. No we don't have any ray guns on hand.
Seriously.
I'm in trouble.
All I wanted was to find a way to say thank you to Nakura, for listening to me, but I had to get selfish again didn't I? I guess a witch never really learns…
After all apparently were possessive, over-bearing, 'Evil' Entities…
..
Ugh. I shouldn't beat myself up too much, Aimi's consciousness was waking up. I couldn't of used her body to thank him in, regardless. Much less …
Could I have. … met him…
..
Ha…gained a friend…
Ha…
Begged for help?
…
? Even if he seemed so understanding.
..
.Humans HATE Witches.
Had he learned the truth. My Astral self probably wouldn't even…
..
Well crud…now I feel like crying.
SNAP OUT OF IT GIRL! THE CRAZIES ARE STILL HERE TALKING!.
Tch. What an idiot I am. First I was stuck in Aimi for five months, then I was trapped in the Internet! The Internet! Higher Powers so much bad porn! My virgin eyes are forever scarred and now this. Trapped in a head. A head.
Take a moment to fully digest that fact.
No body. No arms. No legs. No toes. No fingers. No nothing.
Just a head!
I'm so royally screwed and I don't even have a body to screw!
I mean seriously!?
Seriously!
I'm not even sure how or if I could use my magic in this state? Even if it does work, there's no telling what my spells will do while I'm in this condition! Some spells require very specific hand gestures, there's a proper way to 'twiddle' your fingers when casting! It's not just random wiggling!
How am I supposed to cast ANY of those spells without FINGERS now!
I ask you?
Oh Lord. Now he's laughing like a chimpanzee again…and I just found out.
IT'S CELTY STURLUSON! SHITTEN SPELLS! I'M STUCK IN A DULLAHAN'S HEAD! OH MOTHER MEDEA …I SHOULD JUST KISS MY HAT GOODBYE.
…Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Try to stay calm. They don't know. Nobody EVER has to know! I'll just stay still, quiet and be patient. That's right! When the spell wears off I'll be free again! Then just like always I'll move on to the next body. Yeah. I got this. This is easy. I'm nothing but a quiet frozen head. Calm. Calm. Stretch those Zen skills.
…Hey I just realized?
I guess I should introduce myself?
My name's Kanra Hisikawa.
You can just call me Kanra though, if you like.
Pfft. It's not like I could do anything to stop you, well…I could…maybe but right now…I'm just a head.
Worst of all.
It's NOT EVEN MY OWN HEAD! NOW WHAT'S HE DOING?
OH NO! DON'T TOSS ME! SHIT!
Whoosh!
"Hey Namie! Watch this!" says the Jerk.
I'M GONNA HURL.
SERIOUSLY!
Durararax3 W.I.T.C.H.!
By: Stella Limegood
Chapter 1. –Introduction-
The city of Ikebukuro had been put through the ringer, and it was all because of the Hot Pot Incident. Izaya Orihara hadn't been invited and like any maniac that hates to be ignored he did what came naturally. He threw a temper tantrum like a spoiled rotten brat. If she could afford to sigh at the moment she would have, but Kanra Hisikawa had her own issues to sort out. Namely, not being discovered by the humans all-mingling around her in their humdrum day to day lives. Especially Izaya, oh Izaya where to begin with him? Where to even start to explain the scoundrel she had much to her own inner mixed up frustrated turmoil started growing a bit of a soft spot for? Don't misunderstand. She completely agreed with everyone else that he needed a good solid kick in his ass, she would have done it herself if the opportunity ever arose, but that requires feet. Something she had been missing for a few weeks now.
Indeed weeks, now months, going on years.
It was turning into a predicament all right.
After her first initial 'awakening' for lack of a better word, Kanra had patiently waited for her spell to wear itself off, she had gotten stuck before by 'Astral Projection' but eventually her magic always thinned, and the spell would end, thus sending her back into the 'void' from whence she came. Until once again she had stored up enough power where she could initiate another casting in the 200-400? Struggling year old quest to A. Find her body, (oh the irony) and B. Get her freedom back!
There was also the little matter of saving her life and her species right along with freeing herself from her cold prison, but well…in truth even Kanra would admit she didn't like dwelling on her actual 'physical' circumstances.
No indeed.
The problem of her soul being stuck in a Dullahan's head, was much easier to come to terms with after the initial shock had died down, then the truth about her real body.
It had been so long…centuries had passed..
So was it really so bad that she had become use to disassociating herself from the scenario she was actually physically in over time? Was it wrong that in all honesty she had come to the point where 'body hopping' had become, not only, normal for her but also an expertise if not her new and only 'reality'.
She couldn't face the truth anymore, didn't want too, hell she was frightened beyond reason too at this point, so much so that she hadn't technically 'been' back in her own body in…?….
She didn't know. She'd actually lost count of the time…
She only knew she was 'alive' if you could call it that…?
It gave her nightmares….the truth about herself, and she was running away from it, because like a lot of the girls on Aimi's favorite 'depressing' web chat..
She wasn't always certain … of ….her own …self-worth, and she didn't know any longer what to do, whom she could possibly trust or where in fact she 'actually' was.
She didn't even know…where to start looking anymore…
All she knew was that she was the only one left, and that her real body was still painfully bound …...and that she was cold…so cold….
So hopelessly wretchedly effing cold!
If she didn't find herself soon…didn't find a way to release herself…
She…..she …would…d…
What if? She already….?
….
…
….
..Best not to dwell or even think about it.
..Why, she was still here right?
That's right!
…
.
Kanra Hisikawa hadn't given up all hope yet, and even though she had gotten use to living vicariously through others, it didn't change her sense of humor or her need to explore, travel, try new things, see movies, read novels, take walks, live life, maybe not through her own hands or feet but well…what else was she suppose to do when stuck in other people?
What was wrong with pretending?
She supposed she could have acted like a real demon, she had been tempted too every now and then. Really if she could make a person walk to the nearest café, it wouldn't be that hard to make them dance like a lunatic while chanting, 'Oooga Booga Booga! Fear Me!'
Actually being a witch, she could do much worse then that, but the first real law of witchcraft was to be careful what you casted. More often then not and many a loose canon witch had been destroyed by their own backfired spell. Just look at what happened to Madam Vim.
One day she was a vivacious chic looking baker giving candies to the kids the next….it was gingerbread Ville. Baked in her own oven, and eaten by those two little neighborhood tykes!
'Ewww. A bad way to go that.'
Just the thought of Vim made Kanra shudder and it was enough to deter her from trying anything too…amusing. Besides she was performing a challenging feat enough as it was just to keep herself alive and her astral self-intact.
More often then not, she had been classified as a person's random split personality showing up or was categorized as a kid going through a phase, she'd only had to deal with holy water being thrown on her twice and incense once. Neither of which did anything whatsoever to her besides getting her temporary body wet or making her sneeze, after the second time she had decided she'd take holy water any day over the incense. So to summarize she had been playing the good little possession and so far not a single human had caught on to what was really going on.
And that was the crux of it.
Kanra wasn't in a human head. She was now in a Dullahan's head, a type of fairies head, and after the first few months she finally figured out that she wasn't getting out of said head anytime soon, if at all. It had taken her a devil of a time to figure out why, and when she finally did she came close to turning her unsuspecting male roommate, one Izaya Orihara, into a toad but lucky for him, she'd been able to catch herself.
'Izaya', she thought as she covertly watched said male continue typing on not one, not two but three computer keyboards, while sipping his tea, like a hacker champ.
The human male had become something of a strange fascination for her that she was still trying to decide on what exactly 'it' was that she specifically felt emotionally towards him? He now held the honorary record for the longest amount of time she had ever spent living with an actual male in close proximity too other then her dear departed barely remembered father, once upon a time. (Even if she was just a head). He was also definitely the first human being she had ever grown such conflicted feelings about?
After her 'awakening' in Celty Sturluson's head and her realization that she wouldn't be able to leave, she had gone into what she called 'Secret Agent Spy Mode'. Which was better then the alternative name, 'The Ultimate Stalker Gig,' which is what she came up with after Izaya walked down from his bedroom naked as the day he was born, bold as brass, for the first time, completely oblivious to the show he was giving one blushing, bookcase stuck in a jar of goo, female virgin head!
Good thing she had gotten stuck in the electrical currents of the Internet and seen all that porn before landing in Celty's head. Otherwise she may have blown her cover then & there, by shrieking out indignant profanities galore.
Being in goo by the way was an experience she could have lived her whole life without thank you very much.
She hated the feeling of being in the Goo Jar, so much so that it was easily one of the top five things she had added to her growing list of: The important things Izaya and I have to discuss.
Yuuuup.
Right after she'd introduce herself, Kanra was going to renegotiate with the trickster and declare boundaries on the nudist. Plus she was going to get some stuff around this villain's lair of depravity set straight!
Including the end to throwing her head up in the air like it was a baseball! HEADS ARE NOT BASKETBALLS! SOCCERBALLS! FOOTBALLS! Or…..TENNISBALLS! A HEAD IS NOT A BALL PERIOD!
Kanra had very strong feelings about that one.
Heads were also not toys. Heads should not be left in the blaring sunlight all day without air-conditioning, because sunlight can boil water, and goo can sting eyes. Heads should not be left on hot computer monitors! Heads should not be carried around in duffel bags like their luggage or thrown in the trunk of a car! Heads should also not be left on the floor where someone can come close to 'accidently' stepping on them or sucking them up with the vacuum! Heads should not be put in cookie cabinets! Heads should not be left near fans! Particularly turned on fans, that sucks up hair similar to the vacuum!- Namie! Heads should not be experimented on again-Namie san! Heads are not pillows –Izaya! Heads are not good paperweights either- Izaya! Heads should not be left on the windowsill when your neighbor has a cat- Izaya! It doesn't matter how many floors up you are! Heads do NOT belong in the trash can- Namie! Higher Powers they really don't! Nor do they belong in a potted plant! Heads should not be left with dusty books all day with spider webs! Heads should not be used as Door Stoppers-Namie! Heads should not be left upside down.- Izaya! Heads should not be carried by their hair, pulling hair really hurts! Damnit! Heads should not be used as a sticky note holder! Heads do not belong in the dishwashing machine!-Namie! Heads do not belong in the oven either-Namie! Only Shakespeare or someone practicing Shakespeare should be allowed to talk to a head until 5:00 am in the ruddy morning for nine hours straight-NON-STOP.- Izaya! Heads should not be used to practice your makeup-both Izaya & Namie. Heads should not be placed in a file cabinet or the bathroom medicine cabinet. Heads should not be kicked across the floor! See complaint 1! Heads should not have coffee spilled on them, or tea! And lastly above all without question:
Heads should not be taken into the bathroom for any reason! ! ! ! ! Unless they are with their own bodies- Izzzaaayaa!
…
.
Yes.
Kanra had quite the list to go over with her 'clever' roommate and occasional 'handler'. Just thinking about the Trashcan Incident was enough to boil her over, much the way the Hot Pot Incident was a touchy subject for Izaya. Higher Deities she had been so angry she had given Namie san back pimples for weeks, misfired, backfired spells be damned.
One does not forgive the smell of weeks old garbage & fly ridden banana peels in the face so easily. No sir. Not by a long shot. Such a thing demanded retribution!
Despite everything they had done though, in the most bizarre way, Kanra had over the months grown a strange sick Stock Holm syndrome kind of friendly feeling for her two loonies.
It was rather hard not to, surprisingly? Perhaps it was a little weird, but the fact was the more she learned about the 'detrimental duo', the more time they spent around each other and 'Celty's Head', the longer she observed them, and the more she found herself growing fond of them because well they were…relatable.
Crazy but relatable.
At first glance she had pegged Namie san as a mad scientist with a strange emotion towards her younger brother. After months of observation, Kanra however came to know that Namie was a hard working dedicated young woman in a field that many men would have scorned her for. Similar to how many of her fellow witches had been snuffed out for their outstanding knowledge back in the day. She also didn't have any other female friends, she had a male friend she talked too sometimes on the phone with, and she had a cousin she kept in contact with, she never spoke of her parents? Oddly enough, but that was it.
For Namie her life to Kanra seemed to revolve around work and more work, and when faced with others she tended to shield herself upon instinct, no matter who it was. She guarded herself constantly. In short she was really a very lonely and very frightened individual. Who must have been hurt very deeply in the past and had chosen logic and science to make up for any real affection. Speaking of such, she truly did love her brother, but it had become twisted into something else out of desperation, Seiji was Namie's whole world, because Namie didn't really have anything else in her world to hold onto.
It was sad, and it spoke volumes to Kanra for multiple reasons. She too knew what it was to live in fear of others and she understood the need to be constantly on guard.
Also …not that it was important…but..Kanra didn't really have a world either, not anymore.
Her home no longer existed. It had been burnt.
Less then that she soberly reflected, she technically didn't even have a physical world anymore.
Heh. Funny.
.
.
In Namie, Kanra came to see her own fear and mind. She didn't always like the other female, she didn't agree with her on everything, and she absolutely hated some of the wacky choices Namie had made!
'Really your brother nearly kills a girl! Then you operate on said girl making her look like the head I'm stuck in, and then stalk crazy couple, who still got together? (Who by the way are bugging the place including the back of my ear, so they can play spy too) and then you try to kill the girl. And Izaya here is what holding you kinda hostage as a secretary? Due to his inside information. . . and oh seriously…I give up…. This is ridiculous!' Kanra had thought wishing she could have let loose her rant but instead had decided on a much-needed nap.
Keeping up with the two of them wasn't easy by any means, especially Izaya.
Ah Izaya.
It always came back to him. Didn't it?
He was a whole other ballpark.
If Namie reminded Kanra of her mind, then Izaya, as cheesy as it sounded was her glass heart.
The guy was lonely. Beyond lonely.
The man was fighting every day just like her to find a reason to exist. Different battles, views and very different situations, heck they weren't even the same species, but none of the details mattered.
When it came right down to it.
He was the loneliest person she had ever known. Save herself, and that was saying something.
He was so lonely and lost that he was bordering that line of grace between genius and insanity with just a thread betwixt the two, and he was suffering.
She had never seen anyone despair privately so much, especially not up close like she had him.
His loneliness was the kind of loneliness that kills, whether it is in a day or over a hundred years, or every second of his life, it kills and he was drowning in it. Sinking, being choked alive by it, and he couldn't even recognize it.
That was the worst part. It truly baffled her, how a man who could con anyone, juggle the Yakuza, a Dullahan, multiple gangs and play God with everybody around him couldn't even see his own inner feelings! It stunned her and thus she came up with her own personal nickname for him 'Rubik Cube', or 'Bik' for short, sometimes when annoyed 'Biz' or 'Izzy', however over the last few months she mostly just called him 'Iz,' because…well, just because.
Speaking of 'Bik', he'd been stabbed last week! STABBED! Kanra wasn't a doctor, but she had been darn good at healing potions and one didn't have to be a genius to figure out that Bik should have stayed in the hospital!
Instead, he was sitting there in his little castle of computer screens, working on his evil machinations as we speak, constantly fidgeting and flinching away while she was stuck on the bookshelf again!
Later she would blame it on boredom, or again Stock Holm Syndrome, or just simple common decent moral compassion, whatever!
All it took was one more flinch, and just a tiny peek of those ruby eyes of his in pain and after months of silence she made her first real slip up.
"Ya know Iz, there is this thing called 'Bed Rest', it's usually reserved for people who are oh I don't know STABBED! You should look into it, like yesterday!" she snapped at him irritably, only realizing in utter horror just a second too late that she had spoken aloud in a room so quiet a pin could have been heard!
!
Sharp beautiful ruby cat like eyes grew impossibly wide. Tea was choked upon and briskly spat out over the computer screens, nimble hands shook, as Izaya's head quicker then she could blink, regardless of his little coughing fit, spun to face hers, and then his eyes grew even wider!
He looked like a child who had finally spotted the Tooth Fairy!
"Eeep! Shit!" she squeaked! Squeaked like a piece of rubber!
Too fast, he moved far too fast, it was five seconds, five but it was enough, time slowed, somewhere in space stars spun, magic flickered in the sea, Celty's aqua eyes she was borrowing met his bright red ruby ones, their gazes locked onto each other, man to woman, sun to moon, angel to devil, soul to soul, head to head, "You're awake," he whispered awestruck and then the world exploded!
Papers flew in every direction! A vase was sent crashing to the floor, where it shattered! The computers were pushed off the desk in his haste! She watched in mortified terror as he jumped over his desk stitches and all and bounded up the stairs like grease lightening straight to her! His red eyes glittering with exuberant mad excitement!
'OH SHIT! SHIT! CRAP!' was all she had time to think before she shut her eyes tight and played dead like she was shooting for the Oscars!
"YOU'RE AWAKE! YOU'RE AWAKE CELTY-SAN! AHAHAhahaHAHAH! YOU'RE AWAKE! FINALLY!" his voice suddenly broke out in all its beautiful psychotic glory! Then the world tilted and Kanra felt those strong slim fingers of his latch onto her cheeks and run through her hair, as he lifted her up. His face was so close to her own that she could smell the mint tea he had been drinking on his breath, "Now, now, Celty-san don't be shy! After all there's Valhalla to discuss! I mean I saw you! I heard you! YOU'RE AWAKE!? This changes everything and here I was just about to act on the next stages of my plan, when all along your already AWAKE! AHAHAH! Ah! Celty san why don't you say anything? Hey, Celty-san? CELTY-SAN? Ne? Celty? HEY! Hmm? It's too late to close your eyes now. What? Hey?... Hey there? CELTY-SAN? CELTY? HELLO?"
For the next four hours Izaya didn't let her out of his sight. He poked. Prodded, petted, tugged on her hair, (braided her hair?), tickled her nose with a feather, put ice on her forehead, screamed at her to, "Quit Pretending!" and eventually shook her until she felt sick, but Kanra Hisikawa wasn't the last of her kind for no reason and she was getting that Oscar!
Challenge Accepted Pal!
She didn't move not once. It was survival baby!
Eventually Izaya seemed to give up, but Kanra wasn't fooled. The man had moved to clean up his mess and had even pretended to walk out of the room, only to run back in, just to try to catch her peeking out of her eyes!
Heh.
What an amateur.
Who did he think she was? She hadn't been born yesterday.
Suddenly the Trashcan & Bathroom Incident felt like training exercises in some bizarre Dojo preparing her for just this specific scenario. Lucky she had earned her Black Belt and was now the new Grand Master at playing the roll of statue, but she had to hand it to Izaya the man was a proper chatterbox. Now that he thought she was awake or was trying to wake her up again, he went on and on and on about Valhalla and how since he was 'Godlike' as he put it, she had to grant him his immortal eternity there.
…After some serious consideration of his application, Kanra decided, that had Valhalla actually existed, then…uh...NO.
NO HE WOULD NOT BE GOING!
Number 1. The guy was a thin ambiguous looking bean sprout of a scarecrow! Yes he was strong, lithe, exotically beautiful, handsome even, plus he clearly could survive getting roughed up a bit, but last time she checked Valhalla was for Conan the Barbarian types and loud bearded men with over compensating axes? It would be like throwing Loki into a heard of Odins & Thors! He would get beaten to a bloody pulp! Or worse with those slender limbs of his & that perky little smile he might be used as a substitute…'valkyrie', like in prison, bunch a horny men and one Izaya could equal many an 'interesting shenanigan'. (She could say this much the Internet had schooled her well if nothing else)…Still maybe, he was into that?
Regardless he lacked a beard!
You can't go into Valhalla without a beard?!
It's just not kosher.
Number 2. There clearly was a little mix-up going on in the humans' knowledge of what actually existed and didn't exist in regards to magical/mythological beings and places. Not surprising truthfully, considering how humanity had hunted all the magical beings down to the point of non-existence thanks to their xenophobia! It made perfect sense as to why they had been left in the dark. No magical being in their right mind, well…until Celty that is, would have even so much as sneezed near a human.
Still she felt the need to teach, because there were a lot of differences between Celtic lore, Nordic Lore & Welsh Lore and heck she was a witch! A WITCH! Sometimes listening to Izaya talk was like listening to someone talk about Merlin & Morgan Le Fay as if they were the same person merged together into a blue-eyed purple people eater. Utter nonsense. When in actuality they had been two very different kinds of magic folk. Morgan had been half fairy for crying out loud, but she was getting off topic.
Number 3. Izaya was as far as Kanra could tell still struggling with just the basics of his humanity. Adding immortality to the mix wasn't going to get him the results he wanted. That would actually probably break him. Most likely he would last the first few decades no sweat but the loneliness would catch up, it always did.
..She guaranteed that come a thousand years from now he would go Mad. Bone breaking, genocidal, homicidal scary Mad, far different then the little chipper 'fruit bowl' he was now.
She wasn't stupid. She knew he had killed people both in person and inadvertently. Hard not too when he placed her right on his desk every other day and lets not forget she had been watching him for at least a year now subsequently. What a terrible day it had been when she had learned the truth of what he had done to so many other females online under the guise of her, Nakura! Anger didn't cover what she felt at that 'delightful' discovery. To think he was the reason why she had gotten stuck in the Internet and then stuck here in Celty's head!
She had been so furious at him that week, that she had nearly murdered him & hexed his ass straight to hell!
Lucky for him she considered herself a most generous and forgiving saint. Therefore she would not stoop so low as to murder him, instead she risked stretching her powers and oh look at that his computers all crashed.
Now how did that happen?
What a shame.
Poor Izzy, bizzy, bix.
:-D
In truth finding out that Izaya was Nakura, was perplexing and had caused quite the whirlwind of emotions for Kanra.
In the end it came to being a 'stepping stone' really, perhaps it was even the first revelation about him that had led her towards her little slip up?
It would be a lie to say that after she had cooled down, she hadn't wondered in the back of her mind, "Could I ask him? He's twisted, but his advice… For what price would he help me? What to do?"
Often he caused her to get a migraine, and as the time passed it only got more awkward.
Pretend being married to somebody without the actual marriage part, the love, or the contact and there you have their magnificent blossoming one-sided relationship. Hell she heard all his secrets, phone-calls, conversations, small mutterings, random outbursts, 'private-time' outbursts (Don't ask), she knew all his habits like clockwork, even where he kept his underwear. ( Again don't ask.)
The point is that she knew him and the man liked to talk to himself. She knew him so well, she swore she could even pretend to be him, if she ever got stuck in his body. So she was fully aware he had committed great evil upon others, but as messed up as it was to think, she had lived through enough people and for enough centuries to know that the evil he was now was a far different cry then the evil that could come with granting him immortality when he wasn't ready for it.
Heck even 'immortal borns' struggled with it. Living forever seemed like a good idea until you, yourself, were stuck in the fishbowl. Then it could become living agony. Forever took a very specific and precious kind of something for a person, particularly a mortal, to gain and to furthermore fulfill.
It was like True Love, exceptionally, impossibly rare to find even amongst stars.
Kanra sighed to herself inwardly.
Worthiness aside, it would be a mistake. Izaya's inner problems would not disappear if he got teleported to another dimension. Plus getting to one of those was not so simple. Completely possible sure, absolutely could be done, no question, Avalon unlike Valhalla was very real, except when it comes to dimensional travel it's a very big one-way ticket with no guarantee for you on where the next bus stop is.
Truthfully the only beings Kanra knew that could cross dimensions easily or freely at will were Elves, or High Fae, and the Fae were especially…inhuman…beyond magic or recognition…forces of nature. Powerful. Dangerous. Deadly. More so then Demons or Angels, or even in some cases Planetary Guardians, because that's what they were in layman's terms, Time's Children. Izaya meeting a High Fae, was so NOT happening on her watch.
Merlin himself had been turned into a tree thanks to a High Fae for no explainable understandable reason. Kanra was nearly a ghost already and that was bad enough. No way. Hosei!
Besides going to Valhalla, heaven, wherever wasn't going to work. Not for what she believed Izaya really craved or needed. That would have to happen here.
So yeah Izaya and Valhalla not happening, plus there was…the tiny little fact that …she wasn't really Celty Sturluson's head.
She was just a 'body hopping' soul that had gotten stuck in Celty's head.
Not a big deal right?
Kanra didn't at the moment have much more time to ponder over these philosophical thoughts as once again, Izaya had lifted her up and judging by the warm breath hitting her face, she could tell he was scrutinizing her with those calculating ruby red eyes of his.
When he finally let out a small half-hearted chuckle and a heavy sigh she had to fight herself to keep from smiling in victory!
"Hmm. My mind must be playing tricks on me, perhaps my body does need more rest, this wound of mine has been pestering me," he said to himself his tone full of disappointment, resentment and irritation, "Hn. Wasted enough time, may as well get some sleep. Tch."
Thus ended her first big slip up with her back in the jar of goo and Izaya in bed. Exactly where he should be. A bittersweet victory if ever there was one, but hey she won!
'Thank you. Thank you,' she imagined herself saying to the Hollywood lights.
If she had her legs she would have done a little shuffle step of joy.
C'est la vie.
For the next three days, it was back to business as usual. She got tossed around the room like a hacky sack, while Izaya went back to his wicked schemes and Namie filed papers.
Still a little wary Kanra kept her eyes closed practically 24/7 and it turned out to be for good reason, because despite having come to accept that his pain had caused him to hallucinate, 'Bix' had been hanging around her like a hawk.
He kept fiddling with her hair, as if he were trying to find some sort of on switch for her.
He did manage to find the bug behind her ear, and boy was that an enlightening conversation he had with Namie about Seiji's girlfriend.
Then the fourth day since her little outburst came, and Kanra slipped up for the second time!
Except unlike the first one, this round Namie was present.
Everything had been going smooth, it was just another day being a head on a desk and Kanra may have even gotten a little too confident after having thwarted, "Mr. Omnipotent" and maybe a little overly smug, but she couldn't of helped it.
Getting one on old Orihara was an achievement worthy of a Noble Prize. As far as she and apparently half of Ikebukuro were concerned.
Yet her comeuppance came swiftly, cause here's what happened next.
Every now and then, Iz orders Namie to make dinner for them. Male chauvinist that he is on occasion, and Nami much to Kanra's amusement usually complies, without any complaints, even though she hates him? And much to Kanra and even Iz's surprise she's a pretty talented chef. In fact Kanra would have loved to take Namie on as a potion assistant, if circumstances had been otherwise but things being what they were, she decided to simply reserve a spot for the other female. Should she ever finally free herself & find out where the hell her own actual body is!
Moving on, Izaya was in a rather foul mood, and she couldn't tell exactly what it was about but between his mumblings of "Shizu-chan" and Yodo..gi.(something) and Shiki well it didn't take much to connect the dots.
Suddenly he snapped, "Namie take Celty's head with you. I need a break from seeing it and make us some noodles. Go light on the sauce this time."
Namie sighed before getting up from her filing with a simple, "Fine."
So it was that Kanra was against her will carried by Namie san into the kitchen.
Now there had been many an unwelcome event come to pass whenever Name had carried Kanra into the kitchen over the last year, there was for example: The Trashcan Incident, the Sauce in Her Hair Incident and the Getting Knocked Into the Bubbly Soggy Sink Affair.
Lets not even mention the Oven or the Dishwashing Machine.
(Really don't ask.)
So Kanra was, understandably, feeling a bit high strung as Namie once again brought her into the 'torture chamber' where humans liked to prepare food.
Things started out okay, but Kanra couldn't help sneaking looks every chance she could, as well as a little 'Head wiggle' in an attempt to better gauge all of her surroundings particularly where the knives were located!
Namie for her part was grumbling a little to herself, but had turned on the T.V as she was wont to do while she cooked much to Kanra's fretful annoyance, and had started boiling the noodles. Before turning around and then the day plummeted, without even looking, Namie moved. So instead of grabbing the bowl next to her, Namie distracted by the T.V. grabbed Kanra instead, who struggled not to hyperventilate as bad memories assaulted her the closer they got to the fridge. Where there lied awaiting her a land of frozen peas and ice!
Mild panic turned into shear dread.
'Cold. She was already so cold', thought Kanra almost instinctually, before suddenly there was a horrible flash of a memory in her mind of lots & lots of sharp painful ice and her 'spy bubble' permanently burst.
"NAMIE SAN DON'T YOU DARE PUT ME IN THAT FRIDGE! DON'T YOU DARE!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as loud as she could.
!
3…2…1..
"AHHHHHH!" screamed Namie as she tossed Kanra in the air and out of her hands, "OHHHHSHHIITTT!AAHHHH!" screamed Kanra right back as she flew across the room like a Japanese head demon of old! Shrieking all the way before beginning a terrifying plummet towards, you guessed it, the trashcan.
"OOOHHHHNOOOOOooooo! NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAINNN!" she wailed miserably before her face met last weeks cheese or was it ravioli. Who knows. The smell was baaaaddd! "OH GOD! NAMIE! NAMIE YOU IDIOT GET ME OUT OF HERE! OH I'M GOING TO THROW UP! NAMIE! NAMIE! HELP SOMEBODY! BIX! IZ! IZAYA! IZAAAAYAAA!" Then a big whiff of the stench hit and a hundred miles away, Celty felt her stomach go nauseous while Kanra did the puking.
Namie was in so much shock she'd collapsed onto the floor, her legs as wobbly as the noodles that were boiling over the side of the stove, the ladle for the sauce had been knocked over, the kitchen was a mess and as her own screams died, she couldn't do anything but stare in disbelief at the loud female voice sobbing/shouting/ and gagging from the head in the trashcan, "It's! It's talking! It! You! You! YOU KNOW MY NAME!?"
"NAMIE pppl..hic…gag…puke..sob…hic..PLLLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE!" begged Kanra, 'Forget keeping her mouth shut it wasn't worth this! Nothing was worse this! She was going to die in her own throw up!' she thought.
When suddenly, like some swooping angel a familiar pair of soft slightly calloused trembling male hands & nimble fingers gently picked her up, thilthy weeks old rice, puke on her nose, tears down her eyes and all.
She was lifted up above his head, turned right side up and once again her eyes met wide glittering ruby red ones.
"I didn't imagine it. I was right.. You're awake!" whispered Izaya softly until it turned into a hearty loud laugh of wonder, "HA. HA. YOU'RE AWAKE! YOU'RE AWAKE! Why? YOU EVEN KNOW OUR NAMES! HAH! YOU EVEN KNOW MY NAME!" he crowed before he brought her right up against his chest, facing outward, turning them as one to face a pale faced and now equally curious awestruck Namie, "LOOK! LOOK NAMIE CHAN! SHE'S AWAKE! CELTY CHAN'S AWAKE! Hah! Oh my and you threw her into the trash. Shame on you Namie san," teased Izaya merrily, before he was suddenly startled as Kanra much to her future embarrassment, overloaded by stress and plagued by foul smell let out in a loud epically dramatic sob the way only a nice young lady can, "I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THE FRIDGE! I SMELL LIKE OLD CHEESE AND I DON'T WANNA SMELL LIKE PUKE & CHEESE! SOB. SOB. AND I DON'T WANNA GO IN THE FRIDGE OR THE GOO JAR! I'M COVERED IN PUKE! SOB! AND NOW I SMELL LIKE CHEESE! SOB. I DON'T WANNA GO IN THE FRIDGE! I..ZA..YA!"
And that was it.
That was their first initial introduction to each other.
That was how they met.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((^-^) End of Ch. 1.-