A one shot concerning Maneshya. My friends time-lady OC from the story Times Secret. Read it, it's brilliant, it's on this account, written by the co-owner.
Looking Back
Right Maneshya, keep yourself calm but the truth is they're gone, all of them, you know that. Wait why am I referring to myself in third person? I'll never get to tell you my story, but I've written a diary of everything: All of time and space. How it is, how it was, how it should be.
How it could have been.
Dad you should see the things I've done, the people I've saved. And killed. I see you standing there in my mind next to Mum, the last time I saw you. At home. On Gallifrey. At the academy. I remember what you said to me. "You go out there and get your title, pass your exams then return home to us. We'll always love you."
I never passed my exams. Never got my title. Never returned to you. Did you love me? Do you still love me?
And there are those days when I'm losing my faith, when all seems lost, when it seems as if the universe would be better off without me. but I remember that I'm not alone, he is with me. The Doctor. My companion, though people always assume I am his. I suppose they are right. When I was angry and upset, lost and confused he would explain to me that I was never lost. That I am a Time Lord. Every where and every-when was a Time-lord's kingdom.
Take that rage, get something good out of it. Use the anger to save lives. Do it for the people.
I'm trying to make you proud, do everything you did, make the universe remember my name. I hope you're up there with God saying "That's my kid. That's Maneshya."
Oh if you could see me now, how I've changed. Would you be proud or disappointed. I always tried to do everything in your name, make you proud. But I have changed far too much. Maybe too much. Would you even recognize me?
Would you congratulate me or would you criticize me?
Would you tell me I was unfair and unjust?
Would you tell me I was weak?
Coldhearted?
A failure?
I know it's been a while but I can see you clear as bright orange skies of yesterday. Right now, I wish I could hear you say you loved me.
You used to say I wont know a problem until I've beaten it. I wont know love until I've lost it.
Would you call me a saint or a sinner?
Would you love me if I was a loser?
A winner?
Yeah. I could be the greatest, I could beat the world, I could stop the war, I could be a hero, I could be the best, I could serve The Master, I could stand up proud. But would you even love me, would you be proud to call me your daughter? Maybe not. I often burnt with the brightest flame just to get your attention, but was it worth it? I did it all for my country. Did it all in your name
So if you get a second to look down on me now and then, Mum, Dad I'm just missing you.
Remember me, please
Maneshya. x