Chapter 1: Never Bet with a Weasley Twin
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Harry Potter and his world belong to JK Rowling. The idea of using gold underwear came from goldeneyes.
A/N: While this story probably makes sense on its' own, it's really a sequel to "Dalli's Golden Underwear" by goldeneyes. Her story's short and sweet (while I have some insane urge to post mine in segments.) Also, if you don't already have a slightly twisted mind, you probably don't want to read about Harry Potter and Golden Underwear. This is your warning: leave this story now. Otherwise, enjoy and review.
"Harry! Harry! Harry! HarryHarryHarryHarryHarry!" Ron was squealing and talking far to fast for a normal human being. If anyone would ever accuse Ron of being normal, it would not be Harry. Nonetheless he opened one eye and looked around warily. It was too early and Harry rolled over, burying his face in his pillow and trying to shoo Ron away with one hand. This backfired as Ron grabbed his arm and yanked him, sending Harry and his blankets to floor with a THUD! Both eyes opened in surprise and this, and Harry sat up, rubbing his sore left shoulder.
He looked around the sixth-year boys dorm in a daze for a few moments. There was no one else there, which for a moment struck him as incredibly odd… I must still be dreaming he thought with relief. Too early to be awake. Must be a dream… Oh, wait, they all went home for the holidays. Note to self: Kill Ron for waking me up at a ridiculous hour. He blinked a few times and turned to give Ron death glares.
"Wha wuzz sat fur?" yawned Harry groggily. He rubbed his eyes and tried to climb back into his bed, but Ron yanked him back down once more.
"It'sChristmasandtherearepresentsandIreallyhopeIgotadifferentcolorsweaterthisyear," Ron stopped briefly for breath, "andI'vebeenlookingatthepackagesandIgotsomethingfromHermioneand-"
"Oh, be quiet for a second will you! I'm not awake enough to process all that!" Harry held his head with a pained expression. "Christmas…presents…sweater…Ron, you get a present from Hermione every year. Why does this year stand out from the others?" Ron just shrugged sheepishly and Harry continued to eye him skeptically for a moment before standing up and moving towards the large pile of brightly wrapped packages in various shapes. He stared at them for a moment, the bright colors hurting his eyes. Sleep threatened to overcome him once more and as he started to fall back on his bed a tightly wrapped wad of wrapping paper hit him.
"Presents first Harry," Ron snapped and continued tearing the colorful tissue paper off… "101 Famous Quidditch Players and How to Become One by, oh, I can't read the name."
"Who was that from?" asked Harry, peering over his shoulder.
"Hermione, of course. Alright, what's next…" As Ron proceeded to open his presents, Harry attempted to wake himself up. In his barely conscious state, he only recognized an orange sweater from Mrs. Weasley ("Wow! A new color!"), an exploding box from the twins ("It figures; I probably shouldn't have opened that one."), and a box filled to the brim with various sweets from Ginny. Harry also knew that one of the presents must have been a broom repair kit just like his own, seeing as Ron had been made Gryffindor's Keeper the year before. Finally, Ron worked his way to the bottom of the pile and prodded Harry in the ribs. "Your turn," he said, popping an Every Flavor Bean into his mouth. Ron gagged and spit. "Dirty socks," he muttered.
Harry chuckled a bit and turned to his own packages. Once he started tearing off wrapping paper, he actually woke up. Most of the presents, however, were much the same as those he received every year before: a sweater, a few books, and enough sweets to last him the month, or at least until the end of the Christmas break. It seemed as though Dobby and Dalli had worked together on his present this year and knit him a hat with large holes in the side, presumably for his ears. Eventually, there were only two things remaining to be opened; one was from Sirius, the other from the Dursley's. Naturally, he reached towards the long, skinny package from his godfather. It was, well, his Firebolt, although it seemed to be slightly different. Curiosity ruling his every decision, Harry picked up the note in Sirius's sloppy hand that was attached to it.
Merry Christmas, Harry!
I hope you enjoy the updates to your broom. It should handle dives even better now, among other things. Just don't spend too much time in the air; we folks on the ground would miss you too much.
-"Snuffles"
Harry and Ron's jaws dropped open, and they looked the broom over carefully for what was probably close to an hour, both incredibly anxious to discover what the "other things" were. They probably could have sat there all day, and probably would have if Hermione's voice hadn't drifted up the stairs, wondering loudly where they could possibly be. Immediately, Ron put the broom down and stood up quickly. "Well, hurry up! Open the one from the Dursley's so we can get down the breakfast." He looked anxiously at the door.
Harry sighed, placed his broom gently on his bed, and reluctantly picked up the last present, wrapped hastily in old newspapers. Half-heartedly, he took off the paper, only to gasp and jump back in shock when he looked at what he held. It was…no, it couldn't be. This was an all-time low. A corner torn off a piece of paper would have been a more thoughtful present. It was…it was…
"Am I seeing things or did they send you a pair of Dudley's old gold underwear?" asked Ron, incredibly skeptical. Harry blinked a few times.
"I think that's what they are," Harry decided, for in his hands were the most horrendously bright pair of over-stretched metallic-gold underwear. This was humiliating. This was a true sign of the Dursleys's disdain for him. This was
"That, my friend, is absolutely hysterical!" exclaimed Fred, who had been sent by Hermione to see what the delay was. Harry and Ron just stared at him in disbelief. "Seriously, who sent you those?"
Harry gulped. "The Dursleys." Fred shook his head in astonishment.
"I can't believe they would send you anything so fantastic! Will you wear them today?"
Ron cringed and Harry said vehemently, "I have done my fair share of wearing gold underwear, and I try not to wear Dudley's old clothing when I don't have to."
Fred grinned evilly then. "I'll bet you twenty galleons to wear those over muggle pants all day for one day." Harry looked stunned. "All day today. It's not so bad; no one wants to touch these! See you at breakfast!" Fred chuckled gaily and ran quickly down the stairs to the common room, no doubt to tell all of Gryffindor what was going on. At this point, there was no backing out. This Christmas, Harry would be wearing gold underwear.
"Not again!" exclaimed Harry in despair.
A/N: That was the first segment of it. I like breaking stuff up into chapters. It's more fun! Anyway, please review. Don't flame. I know it's bizarre, and I don't normally write stories like this. So, basically, don't judge my writing solely on this story. If you like it, great, if you don't, read my other story.