Eriah was sitting out in the back of Jorrvaskr. She was thinking about the mission at Dustman's Cairn and learning her friend, Farkas, was a werewolf. In fact, the entire Circle was. That had been a long while ago. She kept the secret for his sake, never letting on to the other Companions that Farkas, Vilkas, Aela, Skjor, and Kodlak were beasts of Hircine. There was also the fact she noticed she was starting to look at Farkas differently. He was always so kind and friendly to her and she remembered overhearing Njada and Ria discussing that. Farkas was always friendly to newcomers, evidenced by Ria who had been the newest member before Eriah came, but it seemed he was especially talkative to Eriah. The Dragonborn had to wonder why. It wasn't that she minded, naturally. It was just that her own perception of the man was changing and it was starting to cause an internal clash with her still strong feelings for Ulfric Stormcloak.
The thought made her depressed. While it had always been her decision to never tell Ulfric that she was in love with him, it was with no small amount of regret that she didn't. Even though she knew he didn't look at her the same way she looked at him. Her current suffering was on her own terms. Eriah was also afraid of opening herself up to another man. While her last relationship five years prior ended on good terms, it still left her feeling uneasy about letting another man in. That had been a factor in her decision to never admit her feelings to Ulfric. In hindsight, her last relationship probably ended because the wheel started turning on her as the Last Dragonborn and served as yet another way to ensure her ties to Cyrodiil were completely cut before her destiny could begin in earnest. With Alduin's defeat, her destiny was fulfilled and the Stormcloaks were now in control of Skyrim. With all that out of the way, was she free to make her own path?
Her thoughts cycled back to the Bear of Eastmarch and her mood sank even lower. She was lonely, she realized. For all her friends and various acquaintances, she was alone. Her feelings for Ulfric combined with her changing views on Farkas weren't helping matters either. She wasn't sure how she was looking at the werewolf differently but her gut would often betray her whenever she saw him. She was afraid of digging into what that meant. Her mood now completely nosedived into sadness, Eriah put her head down on the table and sighed. "Is something bothering you?" came Farkas's voice. Eriah watched as he sat down next to her at the table and she turned her head away. "Feeling a bit confused over some things. That's all," she said. She felt him set a hand on her back and she looked at him. "Let's talk in my room. You could use a drink. I can tell," he said. Eriah decided why not and got to her feet. She followed him in and down to the lower level where the Companions had their rooms. Once in his room, Farkas closed the door and went behind the bar he had. He pulled some mead out and handed her the bottle. Eriah uncorked it and took a deep drink.
"So what's eating you, Eriah?" he asked as he came around to sit on a stool. The Dragonborn wondered if it was safe to admit to her loneliness and heartache. She brushed some hair from her face as she worked through her doubts. "I'm not sure how to talk about this without coming off as...I don't know...juvenile or silly," she said. A hand on her shoulder made her look up at Farkas who just gave her a lopsided grin. "You're one of my friends, Eriah. You can tell me anything and I know something's bothering you because I can smell it," he said. His senses were heightened due to his condition so the Dragonborn knew there was no hiding this from him. Even without that little factor, she didn't have it in her to lie and say things were fine. She wasn't being subtle about anything either. She sighed and leaned against the counter, setting her bottle on it.
"Have you ever had strong feelings for someone but could never tell that person because you knew they didn't feel the same?" she asked. "Can't say that I have," Farkas replied. "Well...that's what's wrong with me right now. I'm heartsick and there's nothing I can really do about it," Eriah said. The werewolf looked at her curiously. "Why's that?" he asked. "I haven't had a relationship since I was twenty-five. My last beau and I ended on good terms, don't get me wrong, but since then, I've been focusing on other things. So I never really thought about it. But then I come to my homeland, get thrust into the Dragonborn Prophecy, and then join the Stormcloaks so I can stick it to the Thalmor. However...coming here to Skyrim led me to meet a man whom I fell in love with but he can never know. He doesn't see me the same way. It hadn't bothered me much until now." she said.
Farkas felt a now familiar tingling in his gut: jealousy. Wrestling it down, he leaned forward to look at her face a bit better. His eyes widened when he saw the sheen of tears. "Who is it?" he prompted. A single blink caused the first to start sliding down her face. "Ulfric Stormcloak. The one man I'd gladly lay my life down for is the one man I can never have...because he doesn't feel the same," she said, before breaking down. Farkas was kind of surprised. He half-expected her to say Vilkas or even her good friend Ralof. His twin brother and Eriah had a somewhat uneasy relationship which was slowly warming day by day. They were now at the point where there was no real malice behind the barbs they shot at each other. Vilkas was smart and on her level, all things considered. Ralof was easily Eriah's best friend, from all the stories she had shared with him from their time in the war. Falling for him would've been just as easy. Learning it was actually Ulfric Stormcloak made his head spin. The man easily had twenty years on her but at the same time, it wasn't difficult to see why she felt the way she did. Eriah and Ulfric had gone through a lot together during the war and in Helgen before that.
Eriah's pain made Farkas come to the conclusion that his own turmoil concerning her was indeed real. He wanted to save her from what was hurting her. He wanted to let her know whatever it was he was feeling. Some emotion he couldn't put a name to. Without thinking about it, Farkas stood up before her. She had her face buried in one of her hands while the other arm supported that elbow. The Companion reached out to take the hand on her face. Eriah looked up at him, a little surprised, and didn't resist when he pulled her into his arms. Keeping their eyes locked, Farkas just went with his next thought. One of his arms wrapped around her waist while the other set itself against her damp cheek. Her hands had come to rest on his chest.
He felt her heart start to race a bit as he slowly started to lean in. Her lack of refusal encouraged him to keep going. When their lips met, Farkas felt the undeniable spark pass between them. Eriah slowly responded and it didn't take long for the kiss to turn into many. The Dragonborn's arms came around the Companion's neck and he started to hungrily devour her kiss. She surprised him a little when she jumped a little to hook her legs around his waist. It didn't take long before he walked to his bed and laid her down, not once breaking it. Taking hold of her wrists, Farkas pinned them down before going to work on her neck and jawline. Eriah's heavy breathing was driving his inner wolf mad and he peppered every inch he could reach with kisses.
Eriah just let the moment sweep her away. Her hazy thoughts wondered how long it had been since a man had given her this kind of attention. Better yet, how long had it been since she felt herself melt? It didn't really matter. All she knew was that she wanted more. Farkas's rough beard pleasantly scratched at her face as he gave attention to her neck. Her hands fisted as she involuntarily squirmed at being pinned. Growling just a little bit, Eriah managed to free one of her hands and wrapped her arm around his neck. She started pushing against him, wanting to reverse their positions. She only got as far as sitting up when it seemed something in the man mistook it for her resisting him and snapped. She came back to herself long enough to catch Farkas's glowing eyes. He snarled ferally, gripping her hair in one of his large hands. Before she could even think to force a break, she felt him sink his teeth into her neck. She hissed, feeling sharper than normal teeth gripping her flesh. While somewhat painful, the explosions in her gut were stronger and she clung to him tightly.
Farkas's mind was wrestling with his inner wolf but a side of him didn't want to stop. His wolfish instincts kicked up in a big way. He needed more of her. His wolf wanted all of her. No longer did it fear the dragon's soul she had. It wanted to drive any rivals away and claim her fully for its own. In the back of his mind, Farkas knew that was his own dark side as well. Eriah had been driving him crazy for a long time and now he couldn't find it in him to hold back. He wanted to be the only one she saw. He drew his teeth away from Eriah's neck and flipped her over before she could recover. With her on her stomach, he bit into the other side to keep her pinned down. He made doubly sure he had his jaws closed on the brand he had seen before Dustman's Cairn.
Farkas's inner wolf saw the brand as a challenge because of its location. Someone else sought to claim the female by marking her throat but now the wolf was staking its own claim. His beastblood was roaring in his ears as it demanded to be sated. His entire body pinned the Dragonborn down. One of his hands gripped her hair again and he moved her head to the side a little more so he could adjust his grip on her neck. Eriah's face was buried in the pillow and it was plain she was struggling to breathe a little. Her scent was rapidly changing to signal her willingness and his inner wolf was prepared to take advantage of that.
Farkas's hands moved to grip her hips, now almost completely overtaken by his primal urges. His bite tightened to make sure she was held in place. The Dragonborn, however, managed to rein herself in and, with every bit of strength she could muster, forced herself through the haze. She couldn't let this continue, otherwise, they would both regret it. She pushed herself up to her hands and knees, taking Farkas by surprise and causing his still-too-sharp teeth to catch and tear her skin. That brought him back from the brink. With a final burst of sheer willpower, the man threw himself backward and, overdoing it, fell to the floor. Eriah ended up toppling back to the bed and from his position, he could see her twitching as she came down from her high.
"Sorry," he mumbled, as he heaved himself into a sitting position as she touched her neck and drew her hand back to look at the blood. Eriah wasn't sure she could trust herself to speak. She had a feeling his inner wolf had caused that drastic shift in their encounter. While she felt oddly satisfied, even when things got a bit dicey where Farkas's wolf was involved, she felt guilty. It was frankly ludicrous. The object of her affections never looked at her the way she looked at him in secret. She knew her guilt was completely unfounded. She slowly looked over at Farkas who was hunched up against his bar, obviously still trying to get his primal beast under control. Her neck twinged in the two places where he bit her but her concern for him overruled the minor discomfort she felt. Her legs still felt like jelly so she settled for slowly crawling to the floor and over to him.
Farkas's vision still had a red tint at the edges as he watched her come closer. "Are you okay?" she asked, her voice barely audible. He had to smile inwardly. He had nearly lost control and bit her twice but she was more concerned about him. That was so Eriah. "I'll be fine. I guess things got a little too hot for the wolf and it decided it needed to let off some steam. I'm just glad you stopped me. I couldn't live with myself if I...lost control," he said. Eriah just bowed and shook her head. Some blood fell from the scratches his fangs had made when she shoved him bodily off her. The red tint got a little stronger as bloodlust rose but it wasn't anywhere near as overwhelming as what the wolf had wanted initially. Farkas reached out and took her upper arm. Her brown eyes met his silver with something close to alarm but he ignored it, focused as he was on the blood.
Eriah's face felt warm as he brought his face close to her wounded side and her eyes shot open wider when she felt his tongue drag itself across the wounds. It stung a bit but it was overpowered by the static shock she felt course through her body. Her free hand sank into his shirt as he continued to lick the wounds. The haze from earlier threatened to overtake her again but she grounded herself and pushed against him. She was rewarded with a low growl from the man but she wasn't about to let him have his way. She pushed harder and that seemed to break whatever spell he was under. Farkas's irritated scowl fled his face when he saw the Dragonborn burning holes in the floor. "Eriah?" he asked. She looked at him out of pained eyes. "I can't...do this," she said. She got to her feet and nearly made it to the door before she felt Farkas catch her wrist.
"Wait...," he said. Eriah didn't look at him. She heard him but she wasn't really listening. All she could really focus on was the urge to put Jorrvaskr behind her for a while. Perhaps take a trip somewhere so she could clear her head. The turmoil in her heart was getting to the level of the Ghost Sea in a tempest. "I'm sorry, Farkas. I...don't know what I want," she said, pulling out of his grasp and leaving his room. She closed the door behind her and let her feet carry to Kodlak's room. She didn't notice Vilkas who was on his way to his room. When he noticed where she had come from and the look on her face, he put two and two together and sighed. "Farkas...what in Oblivion have you done?" he thought. His twin was a real dunce sometimes. It was becoming obvious to the entire company that their resident powerhouse was head over heels for the Dragonborn but he didn't seem to know that yet, the dunderhead. Deciding to let it lie, Vilkas went into his room across from his brother's. It was their mess and he had no desire to get in the middle of it.
Kodlak looked up as the Dragonborn entered, looking like a pup who had been chastised harshly. He took notice of her shallow wounds and red face and cocked an eyebrow. "Eriah? What is it? You look flustered," he said, in a fatherly tone. "I'm just here to tell you I'm going to take off for a couple weeks. I don't know when I'll be back but I promise that I will be," Eriah said. "That's perfectly fine, young one. As I've told you before, the Companions are free to live their lives as they see fit as long they don't compromise our honor. You need not tell me when you're planning to take a trip," he said. "I know. I just didn't want to up and disappear on you is all. That's not how I am," Eriah said. Kodlak smiled and got up from the table where he sat. He set a hand on her shoulder and his eyes crinkled in a smile. "And that is refreshing to me, young one. Safe travels and may the gods lead you back to us again when you're ready," he said. Eriah returned his gesture before turning away and heading topside.
She reached Breezehome and walked in. Lydia wasn't in and even though the sun was beginning its descent, Eriah decided to leave Whiterun now. She wrote a note to her housecarl letting her know she was going to be away for a while. She then went upstairs and opened her trunk. Inside was her Blades armor. She strapped it all on and went downstairs. Her Elven warhammer was on the weapons rack and Eriah went to stand before it. She smiled a little at the irony. While she had nothing against elves, aside from the Thalmor, she never imagined herself wielding a warhammer of elvish make. When she had found it, she had felt drawn to its elegance, a trait that all Elven weapons and armor shared. So she took it with her and sold the steel one she had been using to that point. It had been her constant companion ever since.
Taking her hammer from the rack, Eriah sighed and left Breezehome. She looked up towards the mead hall and her spirits sank a little as she recalled why she was leaving. A part of her came to understand Farkas's motivations but that same side of her shrank away from thinking about the meaning behind them. She was afraid of what she would find at the end of that train of thought. The Dragonborn sighed again, disappointed that the best course of action she could take was to run away. Still, it was better than being stuck in the city and having what happened between her and Farkas hanging over her head. The travel would do her some good as she got things sorted out. She decided to head for Solitude and there would be plenty to distract her along the way. She exited the gates and looked up at the sky as she headed for the stable.
"Talos guide me and Akatosh preserve me. Lady Mara...please help me find peace."