Disclaimer: The King of Fighters and all it's characters are owned by and copywrite SNK (long live SNK!) and Eolith.
The Female Fighters Story: The Way It Should've Been
By Ben Jonas
One evening at a Chinese restaurant in Southtown:
Li Xiangfei: I can't believe it!
Hinako: Neither can I! We've been accepted as teammates on the Female Fighters team this year. I'm so excited!
Li Xiangfei *in-between bites of pot stickers*: Yeah! So am I! With your sumo wrestling experience and my fighting style, we'll be the real Kings...er, I mean, Queens of Fighters!
Hinako: Well said! Tell me something: do you like any of the guys participating in this year's KOF tournament?
Li Xiangfei *while chowing down on fried rice*: Why do you ask?
Hinako: Well, I don't know. I'll let you in on a little secret: *whispering* I actually like Shingo Yabuki; I think he's kinda cute!
Li Xiangfei: WHAT?!? You like that Kyo wannab...
Hinako: SSHHH!!! Keep it down! I said it was a secret now, didn't I? Anyways, who do you like?
Li Xiangfei *blushing*: Benimaru! I just love the way he fights and acts, so graceful, so slick, so stylish!
Hinako: So what?! He doesn't like girls! Last year, he tried to seduce Mai and Yuri, yet he didn't pay any attention to either me or Kasumi. Besides, I think he's gay...
Li Xiangfei: Don't you dare talk about my Benimaru like that, you spoiled girl-scout knock-off!
Hinako: Nice comeback, Olive Oil! (impersonates Popeye's laugh)
Just as the two ladies were about to lunge at each other:
Waiter: Excuse me, ladies. A miss "King" wishes to speak with you over the phone.
Li Xiangfei: MINE!
Xiangfei raced by Hinako and picked up the phone.
Li Xiangfei: Hello? Yes? Uh-huh. Yup, we got your letter. Uh-huh. You want us to meet there? What time? Got it! Okay. Look forward to seeing you. Bye!
Hinako: So, what did King say?
Li Xiangfei: She says that she wants to meet us atop the Southdown Dam in an hour.
Hinako: That sounds a bit suspicious. Are you sure that was King?
Li Xiangfei: I think that was King. Her voice sounded a bit different, like it had a sort of "evil" tone to it. I guess she probably has a cold. Besides, I'm sure that there's going to be a party up there, with cake and ice cream.
Hinako: That's reason enough to convince me. Let's go! By the way, who's taking care of the bill?
Li Xiangfei: You are.
Hinako: WHAT?!? But you ordered more than I did!
Li Xiangfei: Exactly! You're rich, you can foot the bill no problem.
Hinako: *SIGH* Fine! But next time, you're paying for dinner.
Li Xiangfei: Yeah, whatever.
Moments later, the two took a taxi on over to the Southtown Dam. Upon arriving there, Xiangfei once again conned Hinako into paying for the taxi. Soon, the duo arrived on top of the dam.
Hinako: Are you sure King said that she would meet us here?
Li Xiangfei: Yeah, yeah. I'm positive. Now where's that cake?!
At that moment, two mysterious figures emerged from the shadows and approached the two gals.
Mysterious Female Voice 1: There is no cake.
Li Xiangfei *suddenly turning around*: What the?!? IT CAN'T BE!! You're *mmmppphhhh*!!!
Suddenly, the two shadowy figures grabbed ahold of Li Xiangfei and Hinako. Sounds of stabbing and flesh being pierced could be heard. Li Xiangfei and Hinako were silent. Just then, loud chewing noises could be heard in the distance.
Mysterious Female Voice 2: VICE!! What are you doing?! You know you're not supposed to eat the victims!
Vice: But Mature, I was hungry! You try going eight hours without having anything to eat!
Mature: What am I going to do with you? *SIGH!* Let's just dispose of the bodies.
Vice: Just give me another minute. *takes a bite out of Xiangfei* MMMMMM! This one tastes like Orange Chicken.
Vice and Mature dumped the bodies into the reservoir of the Southtown Dam and took off into the night.
The following morning, at King's apartment:
King: *PHEW!* Gosh, it's humid outside, today. I need a drink. *pours a glass of water from out of the sink's faucet and drinks it* Odd, this water tastes like Moo Shu Pork.
Suddenly, red water began oozing out of the faucet.
King *shocked*: GHHAAA!!! What the hell?!?
Suddenly, there was a knock on King's door.
King: I wonder who that could be? It better not be that guy who wanted me to subscribe to Lesbians, Inc. *opens the door*
Mature: Hi, King! Didja miss us?
King: Mature?! Vice?! But I thought you guys were dead!
Vice: Yeah, well where were we supposed to go, Detroit? Listen, we heard about the "unfortunate" fate of Li Xiangfei and Hinako, and were wondering: can we be your teammates for this year?
King: Wait a second! Li Xiangfei and Hinako are dead?! How come I haven't heard anything about this yet?
Mature: Simple. You haven't read your newspaper yet. Read the headlines.
King *reads headlines of paper*: PROFESSIONAL BOXER KO'ed BY TWO PUNY "NEO-GEO FREAKS"
Mature: Not that! Below that!
King *reading paper aloud*: "Two Girls Killed In Horrible Dam Stunt". "Rent-A-Cop Watchman Describes Suspect As Seven Feet Tall, Having Six Arms, Five Eyes, And No Nose, And The Face Of A Teletubby". This is terrible! On the other hand, I'm kinda glad they're gone.
Just then, there was another knock on King's door. As she opened the door, she could see tens of Hinako's students crowding the hallways.
One of Hinako's Students: Open up, King! We know you murdered our master. Come out and face us, lesbian!
King: Now hold on just a sec! I didn't murder Hinako and Li Xiangfei! And I am not a LESBIAN!
Hinako's Students: LIES! All lies! Die, murderer, DIE!!!
Just as Hinako's students were charging through the hallway and about to break into King's apartment, three mysterious figures crashed through King's window.
Yashiro: Hi, King!
Shermie: Nice to see you!
Chris: Didja miss us?
Before King could answer that question, Hinako's Students busted down the door to King's apartment and were about flood in. Just then. Vice, Mature, Yashiro, Shermie, and Chris all stood battle-ready.
Vice: Leave them to us.
At that instant, the five fighters attacked the crowd, performing each of their signature DM's. In a matter of moments, the hall was cleared of all of Hinako's students.
King *speechless*: Just what the hell is going on here?!
What, indeed. What twists and turns await the new Female Fighters team this year?
To be continued in the King of Fighters 2001!
--------------------
And there you have it! So, what didja think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know by e-mailing me at insaneben@yahoo.com.
See ya!
The Female Fighters Story: The Way It Should've Been
By Ben Jonas
One evening at a Chinese restaurant in Southtown:
Li Xiangfei: I can't believe it!
Hinako: Neither can I! We've been accepted as teammates on the Female Fighters team this year. I'm so excited!
Li Xiangfei *in-between bites of pot stickers*: Yeah! So am I! With your sumo wrestling experience and my fighting style, we'll be the real Kings...er, I mean, Queens of Fighters!
Hinako: Well said! Tell me something: do you like any of the guys participating in this year's KOF tournament?
Li Xiangfei *while chowing down on fried rice*: Why do you ask?
Hinako: Well, I don't know. I'll let you in on a little secret: *whispering* I actually like Shingo Yabuki; I think he's kinda cute!
Li Xiangfei: WHAT?!? You like that Kyo wannab...
Hinako: SSHHH!!! Keep it down! I said it was a secret now, didn't I? Anyways, who do you like?
Li Xiangfei *blushing*: Benimaru! I just love the way he fights and acts, so graceful, so slick, so stylish!
Hinako: So what?! He doesn't like girls! Last year, he tried to seduce Mai and Yuri, yet he didn't pay any attention to either me or Kasumi. Besides, I think he's gay...
Li Xiangfei: Don't you dare talk about my Benimaru like that, you spoiled girl-scout knock-off!
Hinako: Nice comeback, Olive Oil! (impersonates Popeye's laugh)
Just as the two ladies were about to lunge at each other:
Waiter: Excuse me, ladies. A miss "King" wishes to speak with you over the phone.
Li Xiangfei: MINE!
Xiangfei raced by Hinako and picked up the phone.
Li Xiangfei: Hello? Yes? Uh-huh. Yup, we got your letter. Uh-huh. You want us to meet there? What time? Got it! Okay. Look forward to seeing you. Bye!
Hinako: So, what did King say?
Li Xiangfei: She says that she wants to meet us atop the Southdown Dam in an hour.
Hinako: That sounds a bit suspicious. Are you sure that was King?
Li Xiangfei: I think that was King. Her voice sounded a bit different, like it had a sort of "evil" tone to it. I guess she probably has a cold. Besides, I'm sure that there's going to be a party up there, with cake and ice cream.
Hinako: That's reason enough to convince me. Let's go! By the way, who's taking care of the bill?
Li Xiangfei: You are.
Hinako: WHAT?!? But you ordered more than I did!
Li Xiangfei: Exactly! You're rich, you can foot the bill no problem.
Hinako: *SIGH* Fine! But next time, you're paying for dinner.
Li Xiangfei: Yeah, whatever.
Moments later, the two took a taxi on over to the Southtown Dam. Upon arriving there, Xiangfei once again conned Hinako into paying for the taxi. Soon, the duo arrived on top of the dam.
Hinako: Are you sure King said that she would meet us here?
Li Xiangfei: Yeah, yeah. I'm positive. Now where's that cake?!
At that moment, two mysterious figures emerged from the shadows and approached the two gals.
Mysterious Female Voice 1: There is no cake.
Li Xiangfei *suddenly turning around*: What the?!? IT CAN'T BE!! You're *mmmppphhhh*!!!
Suddenly, the two shadowy figures grabbed ahold of Li Xiangfei and Hinako. Sounds of stabbing and flesh being pierced could be heard. Li Xiangfei and Hinako were silent. Just then, loud chewing noises could be heard in the distance.
Mysterious Female Voice 2: VICE!! What are you doing?! You know you're not supposed to eat the victims!
Vice: But Mature, I was hungry! You try going eight hours without having anything to eat!
Mature: What am I going to do with you? *SIGH!* Let's just dispose of the bodies.
Vice: Just give me another minute. *takes a bite out of Xiangfei* MMMMMM! This one tastes like Orange Chicken.
Vice and Mature dumped the bodies into the reservoir of the Southtown Dam and took off into the night.
The following morning, at King's apartment:
King: *PHEW!* Gosh, it's humid outside, today. I need a drink. *pours a glass of water from out of the sink's faucet and drinks it* Odd, this water tastes like Moo Shu Pork.
Suddenly, red water began oozing out of the faucet.
King *shocked*: GHHAAA!!! What the hell?!?
Suddenly, there was a knock on King's door.
King: I wonder who that could be? It better not be that guy who wanted me to subscribe to Lesbians, Inc. *opens the door*
Mature: Hi, King! Didja miss us?
King: Mature?! Vice?! But I thought you guys were dead!
Vice: Yeah, well where were we supposed to go, Detroit? Listen, we heard about the "unfortunate" fate of Li Xiangfei and Hinako, and were wondering: can we be your teammates for this year?
King: Wait a second! Li Xiangfei and Hinako are dead?! How come I haven't heard anything about this yet?
Mature: Simple. You haven't read your newspaper yet. Read the headlines.
King *reads headlines of paper*: PROFESSIONAL BOXER KO'ed BY TWO PUNY "NEO-GEO FREAKS"
Mature: Not that! Below that!
King *reading paper aloud*: "Two Girls Killed In Horrible Dam Stunt". "Rent-A-Cop Watchman Describes Suspect As Seven Feet Tall, Having Six Arms, Five Eyes, And No Nose, And The Face Of A Teletubby". This is terrible! On the other hand, I'm kinda glad they're gone.
Just then, there was another knock on King's door. As she opened the door, she could see tens of Hinako's students crowding the hallways.
One of Hinako's Students: Open up, King! We know you murdered our master. Come out and face us, lesbian!
King: Now hold on just a sec! I didn't murder Hinako and Li Xiangfei! And I am not a LESBIAN!
Hinako's Students: LIES! All lies! Die, murderer, DIE!!!
Just as Hinako's students were charging through the hallway and about to break into King's apartment, three mysterious figures crashed through King's window.
Yashiro: Hi, King!
Shermie: Nice to see you!
Chris: Didja miss us?
Before King could answer that question, Hinako's Students busted down the door to King's apartment and were about flood in. Just then. Vice, Mature, Yashiro, Shermie, and Chris all stood battle-ready.
Vice: Leave them to us.
At that instant, the five fighters attacked the crowd, performing each of their signature DM's. In a matter of moments, the hall was cleared of all of Hinako's students.
King *speechless*: Just what the hell is going on here?!
What, indeed. What twists and turns await the new Female Fighters team this year?
To be continued in the King of Fighters 2001!
--------------------
And there you have it! So, what didja think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know by e-mailing me at insaneben@yahoo.com.
See ya!