A/N:

This is for Kawatta-chan, my buddie from the same countrie.

Haha. I mispelled stuff.

Dislclaimer: You know what it is, I think.

Warnings: This is by me, isn't it? What do you expect? -wink-

Hatori and Ayame were having a nice cup of coffee at a cafe near Ayame's shop. The day was windy, which means that sausages were floating by in the breeze. Ayame felt like ranting for a while. What better thing than-

"Hatori! It's terrible! Those pickles are back! They've come to take over my shop, I tell you!" Ayame hollered at the top of his lungs, earning a few strange stares from people around. Hatori blushed from utter embarrasment of being with such a moron.

"Not only that," Ayame continued, "Dancing chopsticks. Oh dear Akito, it's horrible! I tried to call the police and they told me not to be so rediculous. They hurt my feelings, Hatori! Surely, you believe me? Right?"

Ayame gave the best pleading look he could muster. This turned Hatori on more than he could handle, so to cover up the little tears forming around the edges of his eyes from the hornyness, he babbled random his two deepest secrets.

"Waaah!" Hatori cried, waving his hands around, "I need to tell you something Ayame! Something horrible! Worse than pickles and dancing chopsticks!"

"Tell me!" Gasped Ayame, listening.

"Well," Hatori spluttered, "The reason I am blind in my left eye is because... I raped Kana too much. You know how when you have too much sex, your vision gets bad?" Hatori paused as Ayame nodded, "Well, yeah. That's why"

Ayame sniffled and blew his nose on a napkin close by. The story had touched him. But that wasn't the only thing that touched him. What was that pointy thing prodding him from Hatori's side of the table?

"And," Hatori chocked out, "She left me because she said the sex wasn't as good and the rapings were more frequent! It was horrible and sad! So I went to Akito and she threw a vase at my eye for raping Kana, which only made it worse,"

"Poor Hatori!" Ayame whined, "Let me give you a hug, as you have reminded me of my own sad tale!"

"Tell me, please!"

"Okay then! Whatever you say!" Ayame said, tears welling in his eyes, "The reason I dress and act like a girl is because... I know how much Yuki loves girls! I figured if I looked like a girl, he would love me and we could have hot, yaoi sex together. Then Dukoro-chan wouldn't be so deprived from her sexual fantasies. But no! It only made him dislike me more! It's so angsty!" Ayame cried, as Hatori patted his head.

People in the cafe were now staring with their mouths agape; it was a strange sight to see two men bawling over coffee.

"Hatori, Ayame!" Kyo yelled randomly, as he popped out of nowhere with Yuki, "Stop crying and putting disgrace on the family name!"

"Yeah, brother! I would never like you! Your crying over coffee!"

Then, Yuki and Kyo laughed insanely.

"Shall I kill them by lethal injection?" Asked Hatori, to his best friend and cousin. Ayame nodded, as Hatori stabbed them both with the same needle. They dropped to the floor with a THUD!

"Done," Hatori said, as the fic came to an end.

"How should we finish with a bang?" Asked Ayame.

"Get those pickled and dancing chopsticks to come; they can dance the ending out"

"Yay!"

Then the pickles and dancing chopsticks came and danced the night away. They also stepped on the dead bodies of two cousins and mortal enemies.

End.

A/N:

Umm... yeah.

I got so bored.

The idea also came from Kawatta-chan.

Yay!