Celery

Ganbatte miru yo yarerudake
Ganbatte mite yo sukoshi dake
Nanda kanda ittemo tsumari wa tanjun ni
Kimi no koto suki nanosa



"You're late..."

It wasn't an accusation or anything resembling one. Just the opening of a conversation as she took his arm and they both began to walk down the street. Perhaps there was the very barest tinge of worry to her tone...but that was just the way she was. How many people over the years had gotten upset at those same words issuing from her lips--reading something into their innocence that was only there as a distortion of their own guilt? How many times had she been the one that ended up apologizing, just to quell ruffled feathers or hair trigger tempers?

Too many times to count...

So it was with true gratefulness that she smiled at his simple apology.

"I'm sorry, I thought I had more time..."

"It's okay." She was comfortable enough to tease just a bit. "I had a feeling that this would happen, so I told you the wrong time. We've got plenty of time until the movie starts."

Another might have gotten annoyed at being second guessed like that, jerked his hand from hers and sighed, the perfect picture of the misunderstood boyfriend, but all he did was grin.

His smile was sweet and smooth as chocolate, and just as addictive.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing you know me so well, isn't it?" He remarked, a chuckle lurking beneath his words that didn't quite show itself.

Being with him was sinfully easy. There was no wondering what to say, or how to act. There was no need to pretend or hide herself away and become something she wasn't. No need to unwind after this date with a bubble bath, or pour over their conversation trying to pick up bits and pieces of his feelings. "Was he getting sick of her?" "What had he really meant when he said he liked her outfit?" Nope, none of that.

Like slipping into the comfortably worn pair of blue jeans that hung low on her hips at this very moment, she had never known that simply being with someone could be this, well, easy! He laughed at the right parts of her conversation, they both liked the same kind of movies...

"You do have the tickets, right?" She asked finally, hand comfortably warm in his. His eyes grew wide and he turned to regard her in surprise.

"Didn't I give them to you?" He asked, gaze without guile.

"No, remember? I told you to keep them..." She sighed, trying not to be dissappointed. This movie had been sold out for days now...plus it was so hard to find time to do anything together. She had been looking forward to this evening all week; more than anything he was her way to unwind at the end of a stressful day. Things seemed so simple when they talked.

His eyes flashed with laughter until it found an outlet in his mouth. Instantly she knew she had been had.

"Mou!" She smacked him playfully on the arm as he continued to chuckle. "You're so mean!"

"Admit it!" He turned the tables on her, tickling her delicately. "You thought I would actually do something like that, didn't you?"

"You have before!" She giggled through his onslaught, not caring that people might be staring. It seemed she finally grasped the meaning of the phrase "two lovers in their own world".

It was so easy to lose herself...

So easy to pretend.

The guilt came back, as it always did in the end. Looking at his face, she had to wonder if he felt the same way. Did all this mean anything to him? Did he ever look at her and think the same thoughts she did?

Why couldn't she just be happy with the way things were?

She didn't put her hand back in his. It had no right to be there.

Sometimes his teasing about all their "dates" hit closer to home than she liked to think.

This night was too perfect, with stars like cracker crumbs carelessly sprinkled across a black muslin sheet of sky extending above endlessly.

A night made for falling.

"So, how's Yamato doing?" The words were light, but she still winced as they hit home. "I know you'd probably rather be doing this with him."

No, I wouldn't...

"He's doing great. But it's so hard to make our scheduals mesh and all that..." She shrugged, lie tripping off her tongue with practiced ease. She hadn't spoken to him in days.

It was beginning to hurt. The wind was too chill, everything too sharp...all angles and edges that only threatened to blur with tears.

The one thing she couldn't talk to him about. How it felt to know that you were second choice, the distance in his eyes as she tried to talk to him. Something that he didn't even know except for deep inside. When they were together, they both ignored it, yet the feeling deeper than words always raised its twisted little head, widening the gap between them.

No, I wouldn't rather be doing this with Yamato.

Always the ghost of the other one sitting between them, killing their conversation with a hint of what could be...

But, I know he'd rather be doing this with Taichi. Who knows, maybe while I'm playing "let's pretend" with you right now, he already is...

"You look cold. Wanna go inside, Sora-kun?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, Jyou-sempai." And so she took his arm, like the girlfriend she wasn't, but was discovering she wanted to be...

What would you do...if I kissed you and told you I liked you? The thought escaped unbidden as he suddenly wrapped his coat around her shoulders.

"You didn't have to do that." She admonished.

"Hey, it's the least I can do for a friend..."

She blinked back tears with a smile.

owari