So I took a brake from writing Harvest Moon Fan fictions, I guess I just lost interest for a while.

You all know that I don't own Harvest Moon. If I did, I definitely would not be writing a fan fiction for it-I'd be too busy creating more of it.

This is an idea for a story I've had for a while.

Rated: T, because even though there are parts that could lead to M rated stuff-they don't. Because I'm not old enough to write that kind of story.

Akari Pov

This is so wrong…

I know this is wrong, so why am I allowing it? I'm happily married to Gill, or so… I think it can be described as 'happy,' right? I… don't know. I don't know if we're married 'happily.'

I barely know what 'happy' is any more.

It's probably something way too cliché and maybe a bit melancholy… I've been told my whole life by my father that such feelings are crap… and I've been told my whole life by my mother that such feelings are what make the world go 'round. …They love each other so much.

Gill and I are married-that means we're bound to each other until death, but is Gill really what makes me happy; or feel happy?

Gill and I are married…

So why am I being kissed by Chase at the moment?

Why do I want him to keep kissing me?

I slowly wrap my thin arms around Maya's husband's shoulders. Maya is my friend! Maya is… my… friend? How can I defy her like this? Why am I not pushing him away!

The answer is simple: I can't. There's a monster deep inside of me that wakes up when only Chase is near-the monster doesn't want Gill. Only Chase. The part of me that loves Gill is quickly retreating, and she's in no way reluctant to let the monster rule the kingdom. The kingdom named, 'Akari.'

The monster is more than willing to let Chase do what he wants with me, no matter what it is he wants to do. The monster is quickly eating the old Akari from the inside out, and she isn't even complaining; in fact, she's enjoying it. She enjoys the feeling of Chase's lips moving against hers, she doesn't care how easily she can be torn apart. She's blind to everything but her desire for Chase.

A person she can't have.

His arms unwrap themselves from my waist as his lips leave mine, and he gasps for air; my arms still around his neck. He pants for a second and a small blush blooms on my cheeks as I take in what just happened, I gasped as I realized how wrong it all was. "Chase, we can't d-"

He interrupts me by quickly linking his hands behind my head and slamming our lips together again, running his fingers through my short brown hair as his tongue silently slips past my lips. As my brown eyes flicker shut I tighten my grip on his neck.

I didn't want this.

The monster wanted this!

No; a tear slipped past my eye lid, I am the monster. I want Chase. I knew there had to be a reason I was so freaking pissed the day of their wedding-there's only one question left though.

Is this want love? Or… is it just lust?

Do I love Chase? Of course he and I had dated when we were still in high school, when we were still teenagers-but had it really continued to progress to love even after we'd stopped seeing each other outside of school or the bar? I had worked at the bar each night even after Chase and I broke up, and he always made me smile no matter what the cost it came to him. He always wiped away my tears when I was sad-when my dad died he was there; Gill wasn't.

When Julius dumped me, Chase had lent me a shoulder to cry on and didn't ask for anything in return.

When I started to date Gill, Chase had started pranking him every chance he got-I knew he'd be that way and I really had tried to keep it a secret from Chase, but Luna let it slip…

Once we graduated from Waffle High and Gill and I became engaged it seemed like something inside him just snapped. He stayed at the bar until the very early morning hours just cleaning it very, very slowly. He never left his house until it was absolutely needed-unlike the way he had always used to walk around town before he went to work. When you saw him-if you were even lucky enough to see him, he'd be sporting big bags beneath his eyes.

That was when I knew.

He wanted me to be his.

But at that time I had been hopelessly in love with Gill, and even though I wanted Chase to get better-I had really, really wanted to marry Gill. So I did. Only to find now that it was a huge mistake…

After Gill and I were married(Chase failing to even attend the wedding, may I add), Chase never looked at me the same way. He used to look at me with childish smirks and playful winks. But then he was looking at me with guilty desire, inward shame, but simply want-the way a child looks at a toy he wants more then anything, but he can't afford. The toy he hates wanting. The toy he'd do anything to obtain.

I was that toy…

Then Maya came to him desperately, begging him to marry her. For her, he was the unattainable toy. When he agreed; somewhat reluctantly, she thought she had obtained him-but she was wrong, I could tell by the way he looked at me that he still yearned for me. Chase started getting better-but mostly only because Maya was forcing healthiness down his throat, and he had told me he was getting sick of her stupidity and her ridiculous antics.

Still, he started smiling again-if only when he was with me.

He even told me about some of the hilarious things Maya had done to try to seduce him, and how every one of her plots failed miserably in their own unique way.

We were close to each other again-and I was happy to be friends with him again, but I continued to see that longing in his eyes. I knew it must pain him to be so close to me and yet not be able to touch-but I loved being with Chase as a friend so much that I couldn't break our friendship. Even though I knew it hurt him so much to be near me.

That fall I was carrying Gill's child, and Chase was cranky again. He still hung out with me-and still did his best to make me smile, but I could still tell that it was nagging at him-you know, the fact that the kid in my tummy was Gill's and not his. He'd always smile at me, but when he let his eyes slip further down and rest on my stomach; he'd scowl. Once Luke had saw him glaring at my stomach, and asked him if he also thought Gill's seed was capable of killing a woman from the inside out.

Chase; of course, answered this by bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

It was the last day of winter that I visited the clinic to have Jin check on the baby that I got the news.

The baby had died inside of me.

I couldn't control my sadness, and I wanted to deny it so much-I didn't want to believe that something so beautiful, and so made completely of true love could die so easily. My heart was all but shattered at the terrible news, and I pretty much just lost myself-that's the only way I can think of to describe it. I didn't even give him a chance to remove it from my body before I ran from the clinic in tears, and I didn't stop running until I reached the one place where no one would find me. I knew Jin would call Gill and then some way or another a search party would end up coming to look for me, but it didn't matter to me; I knew they'd never find me here.

Made completely of true love.

Was it really, 'true love?'

No.

And suddenly I didn't want anything more than I wanted that thing removed from inside of me, I wanted it gone. It wasn't love! It was never love! That child wasn't made 'completely of true love,' that was simply what I wanted myself to believe; I wanted to believe a lie. I wanted to continue to blindly believe I was in love with Gill, even though my sub conscience clearly knew it hadn't wanted him. Anymore. But what did it want now?

I was clueless, so I hugged my knees to my chest and put my forehead to them. I could hear voices in the distance calling out my name, but I tried my best to ignore them and simply remained so quiet that I could have died in that very position; on that very spot. I wasn't crying anymore.

Silence.

I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders silently, and I looked up to have my brown eyes met by violet ones. Suddenly the tears came again. He was sitting with beside me, and I crawled in to his lap. I brought my lips to his ear and whispered, "Don't tell them where I am… Please, don't let them find me." I leaned back away from his head and our eyes met again, and in his I saw that he wanted more than anything to fulfill my request, but also that he knew he couldn't. But he was still looking down upon my tear stained face, and he began to battle inwardly with himself-and he was slowly coming to a decision.

He hugged me to his chest very tightly, and he whispered back, "I promise I won't."

I cried into his shirt for a long, long time. He held me again; and once again, he asked me for nothing return. Then eventually I fell asleep with my head resting on his shoulder, and awoke the next morning in my bed at home. I didn't open my eyes though, I needed the time to think. I thought about Chase and how he was there for me yet again, and I thought about some of the other times he's been there for me-and that was when the monster awoke. As it rubbed it's eyes and stretched from the long, long nap it had taken when Chase and I broke up; it told me that it wanted him.

And so he was what she'd better get.