THAT EXTRA SOMETHING
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fanwork. Hellsing belongs to its creator, Kouta Hirano.
...
London. Midnight. Full moon.
Two vampires sit on a rooftop.
"Master? Could I ask you a question?"
"Go ahead."
"Well, I just wondered… d'you feel any different? After spending thirty years killing all your ghosts and... hmm... know what? Never mind."
"Oh?"
"I'm sounding like a bad pop psychology book. I heard enough of that in the orphanage to last me another three decades."
"Remind me to tell you about the time I spent with Dr. Freud."
"You –"
"Officially, Arthur wanted my psychological profile, but he was really just in it for the free cocaine."
"That's –"
"My turn for a question."
"Oh. Okay. Shoot."
A cloud passes over the moon.
"That man, Seras. I have to know –"
"Oh, for pity's sake, Master. Yes! Yes, yes, yes. I swear to you, on my honour and my unlife, as an Englishwoman and a blonde, Major Max really and truly was a robot. You've got to accept it."
"But, it's just so –"
"Stupid, I know. All that bother over a dalek with fascist political leanings."
"A what?"
"And piss poor aim, as well, I hear. But, yes, I get where you're coming from. We gathered the world's most elite forces, and we really just needed an electrician. Or a bucket of water. Oh, hey, I know!"
"What?"
"We can show you the trophy."
"The trophy?"
"Yeah! We had the Major's head welded back together and made into a punch bowl."
"A punch -"
"We bring it out every year for the Christmas party. Gives the eggnog that extra something."
"Really?"
"You'll find out in four months or so, won't you?"
"Hn."
A swarm of bats bursts forth from a nearby belfry and circles the church's steeple.
"It's good to be home, isn't it, Master?"
"Yes. Yes, it is."