A/N: Okay, I know it's not Thanksgiving, but it's the nearest Holiday, and one that seemed like it would be important to Macy. :)
Selfish
By angellwings
Macy was tired. Not "should probably get some sleep" tired, but the "dead on her feet" kind of tired. She was past feeling it at this point. She'd grown accustomed to the constant heaviness of her eyelids, and the aching in the heels of her feet. Why had this been a good idea, again? Oh yeah, it was a foot in the door.
It was hard to believe that this would lead her to personal training and the Braves, but it was going to. Sooner or later she was going to have that internship in Orlando. The Braves would start training in Florida soon and that's when she would make her move. Networking would be her biggest weapon.
She'd already asked her manager to get in touch with someone at the sports complex for her. He said he would have a phone number for her tomorrow. Taking a semester off to work and build professional connections would be the right move in the long run. She knew it would pay off.
But right now, she was exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed, and maybe just a little homesick. She was far away from Jersey. Far away from Stella and the guys. It was a weird feeling being the one to travel and move away. She was used to everyone else leaving. The guys would go on tour and Stella would go with them. Through high school and her first three years of college she'd gotten used to that. It bothered her to be alone over the summers but she always found ways to keep busy. But now she was the one who left, and she certainly had no problem keeping busy.
She was working retail and front desk at a fitness center. This center had a national college work program. They hired students to work for them for a semester. The students started out in retail or at the front desk doing the grunt work, and then if the higher ups liked them they would invite them back to work directly with their staff of athletic trainers. It was a great opportunity for Macy. She would have been crazy not to take advantage of it.
She sighed as she entered her apartment and quickly dropped off her purse and lunch bag in her room before throwing on her sweats and microwaving a quick dinner. Her roommates would be out all night working. They all had late shifts so she had the apartment to herself.
Which was wonderful since it was movie night.
Movie night was Macy's favorite night of the week.
It always made everything better. She pulled out her laptop, logged into Skype, and patiently waited for the call that came the same time every week.
The familiar ring music filled the air and Macy eagerly answered.
"Ma-acy!" A voice yelled excitedly.
She laughed and waved. "Ke-evin! Did they all leave?"
"Yep, and this time they took Frankie with them. Monkey Cars 5 is playing. He was excited."
Macy smiled brightly at the low quality video in front of her. "Wow, and you didn't go?"
"Mace, talking to you is the best part of my week. You trump Monkey Cars every time. Besides, the guys have gotten used to me turning down movie night. They would think it was weird if I suddenly started going with them now."
Macy glanced at him suspiciously. "You never regret not going on that first movie night with them?"
"Of course not, if I'd gone with them I wouldn't have been here, and I wouldn't have been bored and logged onto Skype—"
"And you wouldn't have called me," She said with a smile. "I know, I just wonder sometimes if you miss spending time with the group."
"I see them every day. I love my brothers, I do, but you're the one I miss right now."
Her expression immediately softened. That was quite possibly the sweetest thing he'd ever said to her. "Really?"
"Yes, I—I didn't quite realize how much I needed you around until you left. I've never told you this, but…I miss you so much it hurts some times."
"Kevin…"
"Now, I don't want you to feel guilty or anything I just…I wanted you to know how important you are to me—to all of us, really."
"I appreciate that, Kev. You're important to me too. I'm having a very hard time being this far away from home. Everything is so different here. I feel so…unbalanced. I love what I'm doing, and I know I'm meant to be here but I just wish…I wish that you could all be here with me," She told him honestly. "Especially now that Thanksgiving is coming up. We won't get to watch the parade together this year."
He smiled softly at her. "I'll tape it, that way we can watch it when you get back, okay?"
She chuckled. "It's not quite the same, but better than nothing."
"Are you working on Thanksgiving?"
"Just for a few hours in the morning. We're going to restock the back and reorganize the front desk. Then I get to come home to an empty apartment."
"What about your roommates? They won't be there?"
Macy sighed and shook her head. "No, they're locals. They're all going to visit their families."
"You're going to be all alone on Thanksgiving?" Kevin asked worriedly.
She bit her lip and tried not to let him see how much it bothered her. She knew Kevin, and she knew that if he really knew how she felt about being alone on one of her favorite holidays he would rush to put together some sort of elaborate plan. Which would require him leaving his family on Thanksgiving. She didn't want that. Thanksgiving was one of her favorite holidays because it was a day to be together with family, and if she was the reason Kevin wasn't with his she would feel terrible.
"No worries. I'm going to use the day to try out some recipes my mom gave me. That way I can practice without the fear of being judged," She said with a grin. "If I ruin anything I'll be the only one who'll know."
He chuckled. "Mace, your cooking isn't that bad."
"Kevin, I caused a fire in your toaster oven."
He laughed lightly and smirked at her. "Oh, give yourself a break. Grilled cheese sandwiches are a special kind of art."
"Shut up."
"You don't want me to come and visit you on Thanksgiving do you?" He asked knowingly. Macy smiled softly at him. Of course Kevin would see right through her subject change.
"It's a day to be with family. You need to be with yours."
He sighed, "But you are family."
"You know what I mean."
"Macy—"
"Kevin, please. I already feel guilty enough that you're giving up family time to talk to me right now. I don't need to feel guilty about you giving up a holiday with your family too."
"Well, that's awfully selfish of you," He muttered.
"Excuse me?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Did it ever occur to you that I might really need to see you? That I'm not just visiting you out of some sense of misplaced guilt? What if I just can't take not seeing you on your favorite holiday? What about my side of things Macy? Did you ever think of that?"
"I—I didn't…I mean-." She paused and sighed. "No, I guess not. Does it really mean that much to you?"
He gave her a stern look. "What do you think?"
She blushed and smiled softly. "Then…I would love to see you on Thanksgiving."
The stern look faded and was replaced with a look that seemed more like Kevin. Joy.
"I'll tape the parade and then hop on the Jonas jet as soon as it's over," He promised. "And I won't watch it while it's recording either. That way it's new to both of us."
She laughed. "You don't have to do that."
"Yes I do! The best part of the parade is our improvised commentary! I can't improvise if I know what's coming! That's cheating!"
"Well that is true. It would be a terrible loss to the parade if we deprived it of our awesome commentary," Macy said with a bright smile.
She could already tell…this Thanksgiving would be her best Thanksgiving yet.
Macy yawned as she got off the bus and walked around the corner to her complex. She'd only been at the center for four hours at most. Why did she feel like she'd run a triathlon or something? She slapped her own cheeks lightly. She'd better wake up quick. Kevin was coming over with the tape of the parade.
Yes, Thanksgiving had finally come. Macy expected Kevin in an hour or two. That gave her time to clean up a bit and maybe throw something in the oven to bake before he arrived. Macy bobbed along to "Girl of My Dreams" while she fished for her keys and ascended the stairs to her apartment. She'd always thought "Girl of My Dreams" was terribly cheesy for a Jonas song, but it was Jonas and it was a holiday song. How could she even attempt to refuse to listen to it?
She found her keys just as she reached her door and quickly entered. She turned on the lights and expected to find an empty apartment. But at the sight of a figure on her couch she shrieked and dropped her duffel bag.
"Woah! Woah!" A voice yelled as the figure stood and held up his hands in surrender. "I come in peace. I also brought food."
Macy's breathing slowed and she glared at the curly headed rockstar in her living room. "What. The. Hell. Kevin! You scared the crap out of me!"
Kevin opened his mouth to defend himself, but Macy interrupted.
"Wait. Did you say food?"
Kevin smirked at her. "There's stuffing, pumpkin pie, and broccoli casserole waiting for you on your kitchen counter."
"Broccoli casserole? Your mom's broccoli casserole? The most delicious, cheesiest, broccoli casserole ever?" Macy asked eagerly.
Kevin chuckled. "That would be the one."
"Oh my God, I love your mother. I really really do."
"I'll let her know. I'm sure she'll be thrilled."
"She should be. There's only a few dishes I'd sell my soul to eat and that casserole is one of them."
"Wow, you haven't eaten in a while, have you?" He asked knowingly.
"Woke up late. No time for breakfast," She said quickly. "Why are you early? And how did you get into my apartment?"
"Spare key above the door frame. I see my, 'don't leave a spare key in an obvious place' lecture was wasted on you," Kevin told her with a quirked eyebrow.
"I'm short! Above the door frame isn't obvious to me."
"Why do you need to keep a spare key out there anyway? Don't all your room mates have keys?"
"Leanne tends to forget her keys a lot."
"Well, tell her not to do that anymore. I'm sure after being locked out once she'd learn her lesson," Kevin said bluntly.
Macy laughed, "Wow, Kev, what happened to being nice?"
"Macy, she's not a stunned bird or a wounded duck. She's a grown woman who's putting the rest of you in danger."
"And by 'rest of you', you mean me, right?" Macy asked with a knowing grin.
"Well, yes, mainly you."
"You're sweet, Kevin, but there's no need to go all big brother-y over me. I get enough of that from my own family, and I'm trained in several different forms of martial arts. I think I'll be okay. I'm gonna go change and get some food. I'll be right back," She said with a smile. "Make yourself at home—Oh wait, you already did that."
He glared playfully at her. "You think you're so funny don't you?"
She laughed. "On occasion."
"Macy?" He called after her. She turned just before she entered her bedroom.
"Yes?"
"Just so you know, that wasn't my big brother mode."
Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh. Um, it wasn't?"
"Am I one of your brothers?" He asked obviously.
"No."
"Then no, it definitely wasn't my big brother mode."
"Then what 'mode' was it?" Macy asked curiously.
He smiled softly at her. "Go change and get some food. We can talk about it later."
"O—okay." Macy stuttered. She wanted to talk about it now, but for reason her brain automatically did as Kevin asked. What did he mean by that? What was there to "talk" about? By the time she changed into her sweats and joined Kevin on the couch with a plate of food she was practically shaking with nerves.
Macy sat down and Kevin smiled up at her, "I've got the parade tape all cued up and ready to go."
She blinked at him. "Really?"
"What?"
"You're just going to pretend you didn't go all weird on me back there?"
"I didn't go 'weird'."
"Kevin…"
"I just thought you might like to get comfortable and eat something before…"
"Kevin."
"…I start confessing things like, you know, how I'm completely in love with you…and, um, stuff."
Macy froze and gulped. "You—what?"
"Um, I love you?"
"Are you asking a question?"
"Sort of," Kevin said as he cleared his throat. "I was hoping you'd have a response to, you know, the fact that I—"
"That you love me?"
"Yes that."
"I—but—you—when?"
"When?"
"Yes," Macy sighed. "When did you realize that you—"
"That I loved you?"
"Do we have to keep doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"Repeating that you love me."
"Well, until I get a response I think I have to."
"I, um, I need to know when, and how—and why—before I can respond."
"Okay," He said with a sigh. "Well, when? When did I not love you? I don't even remember when anymore. I just always have. How? You're very easy to love, Mace. You ask 'how?' like it's supposed to be difficult, but at this point…it's sort of like breathing. Easy and natural. Why? You're forgiving, ambitious, caring, and you love life as much as I do. It also doesn't hurt that I think you're breathtakingly beautiful. Does that answer all your questions?"
Macy stared at him in stunned silence for several seconds. "That just about does it, yeah."
"So?" Kevin asked with a nervous breath. Macy leaned forward and placed her forgotten plate of food on the coffee table. She then turned to Kevin and took hold of his hand.
"It's impossible not to love you Kevin. I've tried, and no matter what I do I just can't stop. Everything you said about me is so surprising because…I feel the exact same way. All of those things you said to me are things that I've thought about on more than one occasion. I've been in love with you for longer than I remember," Macy told him with gulp.
Kevin picked up the hand that Macy had placed in his, and studied it intently before placing small feather light kisses on her fingertips. "So, you love me?"
Her eyes met his, and she smiled brightly as she reminded herself to breathe. "I really do."
He smirked playfully at her. "I knew it."
Macy smacked his shoulder and glared at him. "You need to stop hanging out with Joe."
"Maybe, but you love me anyway," He said with a chuckle as his face inched closer to hers.
"Heaven help me, but I do," Macy said with a contented sigh just as Kevin's lips covered her own. The Parade was all but forgotten as her hands traveled up his arms, to his shoulders, and then finally stopped when they sank into his curls. Kevin smiled against her lips before deepening the kiss and dropping the VCR remote.
They had better things to do.
