Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect…I just play with their worlds and mess with their stuff.

A/N – I always wished that you could reply to Kaidan's message after Horizon. You know, so you could actually behave like an adult and patch things up with him. So this is my little fixit one shot set the night before ME3. It's not totally canon, it's got some fluff and its rated M for a very smutty reason. This is the start of a series involving these characters. The other one shots that follow are called Untouchable and 'Twas the Night Before. Cover art is by Leo Fina on Deviantart.

A big thank you to Jules Hawk who kindly beta read for me!

Alexandra Shepard was curled up on the couch with a data pad, her eyes flicking over the latest Alliance news that James had transferred to her before he'd left for the night. Idly, she twirled a lock of her blonde hair around her finger and tossed the pad aside. Her omni-tool bleeped at her and Alex blinked in surprise; since being put under arrest and incarcerated on Earth she had received messages only after James had checked them each morning.

She never received messages directly to her omni-tool.

Shepard hummed to herself as she opened it up and her breath caught in her throat, her heart thumping hard as she saw that it was from Kaidan; she hadn't received a message from him in weeks.

Since his initial message after Horizon, they'd kept in regular contact via the extra net, and a lot of the pain and damage done while she'd been dead had been repaired. It had taken Shepard a few weeks to work up the nerve to reply to Kaidan's original message because it had been so full of conflicting emotions, but it had been worth the effort. They weren't officially back together, but he'd made it clear that he still cared for her.

Kaidan had admitted in their correspondence that prior to her arrival on Horizon he'd heard rumours of her working for Cerberus and had been hurt that she hadn't tried to contact him. He'd assumed that she had been brainwashed by The Illusive Man and when he found out that that wasn't the case he'd felt betrayed. On Horizon he'd lashed out without thinking through any of the things he said; something he'd regretted almost immediately.

It had taken a lot of time and understanding, but through their messages she slowly pieced together that her death had almost destroyed him and her reappearance had been almost as traumatic. The thought of what he'd gone through, of believing her dead, brought tears to her eyes and Shepard had forgiven Kaidan for what he'd said. When she went through the Omega Relay she did so knowing that he was waiting for her to come back.

Of course, she hadn't counted on being arrested, and after her surrender and incarnation keeping in regular contact had been hard, but and every now and again a message from Kaidan would be included in those Vega forwarded to her. She was so heart-achingly lonely that any kind of contact from the world outside was a breath of fresh air, but the messages from Kaidan were always precious. They both knew that her messages were being monitored, so they were careful with what they wrote.

Alex brushed her unruly blonde hair out of her face and glanced down at the message again, her deep blue eyes taking in every detail possible before she opened it. The message hadn't been forwarded from James! It had come from Kaidan directly! Her heart began to beat a little faster and she hesitated for a moment as she tried to imagine how he'd managed this trick, but her curiosity got the better of her and with a pleasant shiver she opened the message.

To: Alexandra Shepard

From: Kaidan Alenko

Subject: Surprise…

Alex,

I have a surprise for you but it will take a little technical wrangling from my end. If you could go into your bedroom and avoid the camera in your lounge room for a few minutes I'll make it worth your while.

Trust me!

Kaidan

Shepard stared at the message in surprise, her heart flip flopping madly as she wondered if Kaidan was about to do what she thought he was. It wasn't as though he didn't break the rules from time to time, but he certainly didn't make a habit of it. She quickly replied to his message and went into the bedroom, closing the door and leaning against it as she counted to one hundred to calm her nerves.

It was a leap of faith to trust the message because she knew that it could have come from anyone, including any of the mercenary groups currently gunning for her. But, the thought that the message was from Kaidan was enough to make the risk worthwhile as far as she was concerned. The chance to see him again in person was worth it because when the Reapers came, and she knew they would come, there would be little time for them to mend past hurts and make up for their regrets.

And she knew better than most what it was like to have past regrets.

Waking up to find out that she'd been clinically dead and had missed out on two years of her life had been surreal and traumatic, but it had been Kaidan's rejection that had been the worst. In retrospect she could understand his fear and hesitation to trust her again, and even while he'd been trying to push her away she'd seen the yearning in his eyes. His hatred for Cerberus was understandable too, after all, they'd been responsible for her unit's death on Akuze and he had fought against them alongside her on the first Normandy.

She wished she hadn't become so tongue tied when she saw him on Horizon, and that she'd explained that she was working with Cerberus because they were the only ones who were willing to help her stop the Collectors. The Alliance had been next to useless and the Council had been even worse. It had hurt to have Kaidan turn his back too, and it had hurt to read his letter to her afterwards, but despite what he'd said she'd been able to read between the lines: he missed her.

The messages they had sent back and forth had mostly been Kaidan filling her in on the last two years; her funeral, how he'd struggled to get over her death and everything he'd achieved thanks to Anderson pushing him on. His two years had been only a few days for her, so it was a strange experience for her to listen to how deeply her death had affected him. She knew he didn't trust her fully and that he was holding himself back, but she'd treasured what contact they did have and she'd been open about that with him.

It was probably her greatest weakness that she'd always worn her heart on her sleeve, but something about Kaidan just brought that out in her. From the very start she'd been unable to hide her feelings for him, and it wasn't any different now. She was open with how much he'd hurt her, how much she missed him and how special their time together had been for her. It was pathetic for an N7 Marine to be so emotional, but that was a part of who she was and nothing would change that, not even being rebuilt by Cerberus.

Alex swallowed hard and she stepped away from the door as she heard a noise, half sure that she'd been a fool and she was about to be confronted by an angry batarian with a gun. Kaidan wasn't the kind of man to break into Alliance detention to see his sort-of kind-of used-to-be girlfriend, especially not when he'd so recently been promoted to the rank of Major. But she wanted him to. God, she wanted him to.

She stayed frozen to the spot, not even daring to breathe as the door opened, and wondered when she'd become so desperate for human contact that she'd been willing to believe a message sent to her omni-too l...

"Shepard?"

Kaidan's voice, followed by Kaidan himself, came into the room and he carefully shut the door behind him as he looked at her expectantly, his gorgeous amber eyes meeting hers straight on. Alex felt herself gape at him stupidly. He'd come! Despite all of the regulations he was breaking, he'd actually come to see her. She'd dreamed about him sneaking in to see her, or coming to rescue her so often that she paused for a moment, worried that maybe she'd taken leave of her senses.

"Is this real?" She hesitantly took a step towards him, one hand half covering her mouth as she ran her eyes up and down his body, starved for the sight of him. "Are you really here?"

He nodded and a smile broke out on his face. "Yeah, I'm really here."

Alex didn't wait any longer, she crossed the room in two strides and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder and holding him to her as though he was the last stable thing in her world. He was so achingly familiar that she didn't want to pull away in case he vanished under her touch and she was left alone again. But his smell, a mixture of cologne and biotics, was comfortingly familiar, and the strength of his arms as he held her close was reassuringly real.

She reluctantly pulled out of his embrace and stared up at him. "What are you doing here, Kaidan?"

Kaidan kept his hands lightly on her waist, as though unwilling to separate himself from her completely. "Colonies have been going quiet out in the Terminus systems and last night the Batarian home world went silent. I've been in contact with Hackett and we both agree that there's a good chance it's the Reapers." He paused and his hands tightened on her waist. "I have to give a report to Alliance High Command tomorrow, and I know Hackett is planning to mobilise the fleet."

"Reapers." She repeated softly. "So they're finally here."

"Yeah, the threat of complete annihilation kind of puts things into perspective." He raised a hand and cupped her face hesitantly, as though expecting her to pull away. "I had to come and see you, Alex. I know I've apologised for what I said on Horizon, but I needed to tell you face to face that I'm sorry."

The regretful look on his face made her almost smile; it was as though Kaidan was worried that he'd damaged their relationship beyond repair, which was ridiculous. They'd been in love and those feelings were just as real to her now as they always had been. If his feelings had changed, she would have understood, but he'd hinted at just the opposite in the messages they'd exchanged.

She leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry too. I should have been more understanding and I should have explained more clearly why I was with Cerberus." She tucked her long blonde hair behind her ears as she continued softly. "In your place I might have reacted the same."

"Thank you. It means a lot to hear that." He paused and there was a heavy silence as he drew in a deep breath. "I was a fool, but it was only because I'm still head over heels for you." His gaze crashed against hers, his eyes vulnerable and open as he waited for her response.

She smiled warmly at him as a familiar heat flooded her body. "Good, because I'm still mad for you too, Alenko."

"I was so worried that I'd …"

Shepard put a finger to his lips to silence him, and caught one of his hands in hers so she could lead him over to the bed to sit down. It was the only place to sit in her sparsely furnished bedroom, and although this was obvious, Kaidan still tightened his hand in hers as she led him there. The look in his eyes as he sat down on the edge of the bed sent shivers down her spine, and for an instant she was sure he was going to kiss her, but he didn't.

"Have you been coping okay with being on Earth?" Kaidan kept one hand laced through hers, his thumb gently rubbing over her fingers and hand. "It can't be easy to spend your entire life in space and then find yourself stuck planetside in detention."

The sensation of his thumb moving in circles on her hand made her stomach clench with need, and Alex had to work hard to make herself focus. "Well, my guard James is good company, but I miss my freedom and my crew." She shrugged and shifted so that one of her legs lightly pressed against his. "I miss a lot of things."

His hand tightened on hers and Alex resisted the urge to smile to herself at his reaction, glancing at him sidelong as she tucked her wayward hair behind her ear again. She'd missed Kaidan more than she realised; it was hard to resist jumping on him and kissing him senseless. She could be wrong, but she suspected that he was finding it just as hard to keep his hands off her!

"What else have you missed?" His voice dropped a little lower and his leg pressed back against hers, the burning look flashing through his eyes again.

Yes.

She had never been the most subtle of women when it came to getting what she wanted, and right now she wanted Kaidan. She'd gone from being in a wonderful relationship with him, to waking up and discovering that two years had passed and he'd moved on. She'd been desperately lonely, and she'd missed his friendship, as well as the romance and everything that went with it. Having him beside her and looking at her with that hungry look in his eyes was almost too much for her to bear.

"I've missed chocolate," She twined her fingers in his and boldly slid closer so that they sat hit to hip and shoulder to shoulder, her body language far too direct for Kaidan to mistake what she wanted as she watched him through smouldering eyes. "… and I miss the cup of coffee you used to bring me every morning after we would …"

Kaidan didn't let her finish, he caught her to him and crushed his mouth against hers, the devastating kiss making Alex tingle from head to toe. The sensation of his lips against hers seemed to open a floodgate and without even realising what she was doing she moved into his lap and snaked her arms around his neck so she could bury her hands in his hair. The kiss was hot and hungry, and Kaidan's hands moved from her shoulders, down her back and over her ass as he pulled her against him.

She could feel the same desperate, burning need inside of her that Kaidan always aroused, but somehow it was fiercer now than it had been the last time they'd been together. His hands were gripping her so tightly, and his kiss was so urgent that she knew he felt the same. It seemed like an eternity since she'd been in his arms, but now that she was here she knew it was exactly where she wanted to be.

When Kaidan let himself tip slowly backwards onto the bed, Shepard went with him and planted her hands either side of his face, laughing in delight as they broke the kiss and she stared down at him. His eyes were glowing happily and the smile on his face made all the months of loneliness melt away. It was like it had been before Ilos, like it had been during the shore leave and in the weeks they'd spent together before she'd lost her life.

"I missed you so much." He raised his hands to her face and smoothed her hair back, staring up at her with a mixture of happiness and awe. "I can't believe I got you back again."

She leaned down and rubbed the tip of her nose against his. "I missed you too."

Then she kissed him again, laughing against his mouth as his hands swept up to the front of her BDU and he began to unfasten it with quick and clever hands. She was just as fast. Her hands flowed like water over his muscled skin as she peeled his shirt off and flung it to the side. Once Kaidan removed her shirt, her bra didn't last long and then his hands were finally on her aching flesh, squeezing and cupping her breasts as he kissed her harder and deeper.

"Kaidan!" Alex groaned his name in ecstasy as his mouth found one nipple and he flicked his tongue over the sensitive tip, his hand gently massaging her other breast.

She was thankful that she could anchor her hands on the bed as Kaidan moved from one breast to the other, trailing kisses across her chest. The tingle of his biotics on her skin was like a faint electric current that was driving her wild, and eventually she had to pull his head away and kiss him again. She was on fire! It was as though she was finally really alive for the first time in months and she didn't want the feeling to fade.

She caught his hands as they roamed up her body and she pressed them to the bed alongside his head. "You keep your hands there, Alenko."

"Yes, ma'am!" He grinned at her, his hands tightening on hers briefly before she pulled them away and turned her attention to his chest.

She traced the contours of his muscles with her hands and made her way down his body, using her mouth and tongue to taste and every part of him from the hollow of his throat to his navel. She hesitated over his hips, her blue eyes watching him teasingly as she traced the hot hard shape of his erection through his pants. He made a sound halfway between pleasure and pain, and gazed down at her like a drowning man staring at a lifeline.

"Shepard, please …" He groaned as she began unfastening his pants, clearly moving far too slow for his liking.

She chuckled in delight at his urgency, and in moments his pants were gone and she took the length of him in her mouth, swirling her tongue around his head and taking him as far into her as she could. Kaidan's hips bucked under her and his hands finally left the bed and tangled in her hair as his control slipped. It was magical to know that she could drive Kaidan so wild so easily, especially when he was such a tightly controlled person. She loved when he lost control around her.

"Oh god, Alex, no more …" His voice had an edge of frantic desperation to it and she moved back up his body to kiss him again, not surprised when she felt his hands unbuckling her pants and sliding them off with far more haste then finesse.

She stretched out blissfully as Kaidan feathered kisses down and up her body, his hands following her curves faithfully and lovingly. It felt wonderful, and she was unable to keep her hands off him as he settled himself between her legs. She kissed his face, neck and chest, and her hands tugged on his shoulders as she tried to pull him closer to her so she could kiss his lips. The familiar fiery burn of passion was blazing brightly inside of her, and she needed to be as close to him as possible.

"Kaidan, I want you now." She could see him grinning at her desperate tone, but his own eyes were burning with lust and he kissed her hard and deep, driving the back of her head into the pillows with the bruising force of the kiss.

Her body felt like it was one tightly wound ball of desperate need, and when he finally positioned himself at her entrance, she felt herself begin to melt from the fiery heat of their passion. He pushed himself inside of her slowly, his hardness stretching and filling her in the most fulfilling and wonderful way. She'd missed his lovemaking; the passion and the pleasure. She'd missed him.

His eyes burned into hers as he began to thrust gently inside of her, and Alex pulled him closer as she arched against him desperately. His mouth took hers again as he kissed her once more, his tongue thrusting into her mouth and mimicking the other more intimate way he was moving inside of her. She clung to him and ran her nails down Kaidan's back, gasping in pleasure as he broke the kiss and moved his lips down along her jaw to her neck where he playfully bit her.

"Oh please, please."

He knew what she was asking for, and with a low masculine chuckle he began to move inside of her harder and faster, hitting that spot at her very core that made her melt and burn and sizzle all at once. The delicious warmth began to spread in her belly as her muscles bunched and tensed, and she whimpered helplessly as his hard thrusts pushed her over the edge and she was engulfed by a tsunami of mind shattering pleasure. She clawed at his back as she felt his biotics flare, the familiar tingling current pulsing against her and inside of her; making her writhe in ecstasy.

Through the intense waves of pleasure she heard him moan her name as he shuddered against her and, exhausted, he dropped to one side. One muscled arm pulled her close as he ran a loving and concerned hand up the length of her body, as though worried that he'd been too rough. When she finally had the strength to open her eyes Kaidan was watching her, a lazy smile on his lips as he pulled her even closer and rested his chin on her head.

"I came here today to see you and to maybe steal a kiss." He confessed quietly, sounding satisfied as he lazily traced circles on her lower back. "I never thought we'd end up like this."

"Of course not. You're far too much of a gentleman." Alex nestled against him, her body still tingling pleasantly from his attentions. "Thankfully I'm not much of a lady."

Kaidan laughed. "You didn't exactly have to twist my arm, Alex."

"Oh, I noticed." She raised herself up on one arm, leaning forward to kiss him again and then pressing her forehead to his as she casually added, "I love you, you know."

He visibly caught his breath at her admission, his arms tightened around her and he pulled her to him, holding her to his chest as though frightened she would slip away once more. "I love you too. I never stopped."

Hearing him say those words again, after all their time apart and all the distance between them, was better than all the morning coffees and chocolate in the world combined. Kaidan still loved her; even after their fight on Horizon, even after all his doubts and fears, he still loved her. For what felt like the first time in months, she felt the cold knot of loneliness inside her melt and she relaxed into his arms.

Eventually he shifted and he checked his omni-tool, sighing and squeezing her again as he sat up. "I feel like a complete jerk for saying this, but I have to go."

Alex laughed softly. "Yeah, James will be in soon and this would give him a bit of a shock." She stretched out in bed and let her eyes linger on Kaidan's muscular chest, realising that he was far more buffed now than he had been in his younger years. A glance at his omni-tool revealed several security hack programs running. "Is that how you got in here?" She pointed at one program that looked like a hack into the camera feeds.

"Yeah, I looped the footage after you went into the bedroom and unless they've got someone really good, even better than me, they won't notice a thing."

Shepard nodded and chuckled. "Someone would have been here by now if they had noticed, but you should probably get out of here before James does get here."

Kaidan nodded and reluctantly pulled himself out of bed, gathered his clothes and went to use her bathroom. Alex sighed; the thought of more lonely days and night stretching out ahead of her was depressing, but things were more bearable now that she knew she would have Kaidan waiting for her on the outside. Maybe it was foolish, but even the thought of the Reapers didn't seem quite as threatening when she had Kaidan by her side.

The door opened and he came out dressed, his gorgeous eyes raking over her as she reclined on the pillows, unashamedly naked and revelling in his attention. He wandered back over and sat on the edge of the bed, a stupid grin on his face as he looked at her and shook his head. "You're far too tempting when you look at me like that, Alexandra Shepard."

"Mmm, too bad you have to leave." Alex sat up and crawled to him, kissing him soundly as she desperately clung to the happy warmth left by their lovemaking. "Thank you for coming by Kaidan, this was the best kind of surprise."

He wrapped his arms around her for a moment before he spoke quietly. "It'll be over soon, you'll see. They'll give you a slap on the wrist and you'll be out of here and back on active duty and we can …" He paused and pulled back to look into her face. "I mean, if you want to, we can pick up where we left off."

"Oh, I want to." She pressed her lips against his. "I love you, Kaidan."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me." He glanced at his omni-tool again and looked pained. "I have to go, Alex." He hesitated and his smile slowly slid off his face. "We can't let anyone know I broke in to see you …"

"You're secret's safe with me." Alex let him go as he stood up, fighting the urge to pull him back down and beg him not to leave her alone. "I'll never forget that you did this for me ... but I can pretend that you were never here, even if it kills me."

Kaidan's face fell further at her words and she saw him hesitate, clearly wanting to leave things on a better note. It was how things had to be though, Alex thought as she stood up and went to him, when they next met each other they would have to feign indifference. Kaidan pulled her to him one last time, holding her so tightly that he almost crushed the breath from her body.

"No matter what I say when we next meet, just remember that I love you." He whispered the words into her ear, his voice furred with passion.

"And I love you." She squeezed him tightly and then let him go, the warmth inside of her still burning strong despite how sad she was to see him go. "I like this bad boy side of you, Alenko."

Kaidan chuckled and glanced at his omni-tool up to check that the coast was clear before he opened the bedroom door, pausing to throw her one last happy grin before he closed it behind him. Alex heard the main door to her rooms open and close as he left and she threw herself back on the bed, cuddling up to a pillow that still smelled of his cologne as she smiled to herself. Knowing that he was out there and that he was still madly in love with her was the best news she could ever have received.

She rolled over and smiled at the ceiling as she tried to imagine meeting Kaidan in the hall and pretending to be surprised to see him. How would Kaidan act? Much as she loved him, she knew he was a softie and that he'd probably give himself away with one look. Not her though. No. She would act aloof as though she was still hurting from his rejection. That way no one would ever guess that she was still madly in love with Kaidan Alenko.

A/N - ^_^ I hope you enjoyed that, and if you did, the next one shot involving these two love birds is called Untouchable. Please do drop me a review and let me know what you thought!