AN**** This one-shot is 2nd POV on Sakura's side! It just didn't sound right in any other way.
Have you ever wondered what its like to be alone? Truly, utterly alone? You're in a room full of people around your age, drinking and grinding up against each other provocatively and the only thing you can feel is the sting of alcohol running down your throat. You have no idea why your friends thought it would be a good idea to throw this goddamned party in the first place. Yes, you just had your heart broken. Ripped out of your chest and burnt to a crisp. They probably believe this will get him off of you mind, just for a little while. The mere thought makes you down two more shots and head for the exit. The music pulses and shuts out the chatter.
You feel a hand on your behind and you swat it away immediately with a sneer, "Back off!"
Your red dress that Ino put you in ends right under your behind, showing off your long pale legs, too much skin for your liking. No one notices you sneak away as you head home. Your heels come off first before you're even halfway home. He never asked you to wear things like this. He was simple. Your grip on your heels tighten as you hold in every feeling you've felt over the past several hours. You're strong. Enough to smile and walk away from this. Enough to never ever cry in front of anyone. Not even him, believably your only hope at becoming something important.
You take a breath and ignore everything and everyone you cross paths with with an emotionless expression and complete balance in your step. No one would be able to tell your blood alcohol level was as high as it was. The only time you tremble is when you're trying to unlock the front door. You lock it behind you as soon as you enter and begin heading for the restroom to take a cold shower. You shed the red dress as it falls to floor and its like another weight has been lifted off your shoulders; the first being your leaving the party. You feel the water rush down your body and you lose it. Your knees cave and you fall to the floor of the bath tub. Instead of getting up and going to bed like you should, you sit with your knees against your chest and cry, for hours.
He's gone which means you are too.
The one who picked you up when you were too tired to walk. The one who never let you lose your temper because he knew how guilty you would feel afterwards. The one you write so many songs about because he's just worth it. He is so worth it.
"Your heart doesn't belong to me, Sakura. I can't handle that."
Your heart lurches as your head spins, making your stomach churn. You shut off the water and grab a towel before vomiting into the toilet. He thought you were having sex for money. He thought you prostituted yourself to pay the rent. You cough several times, dry heaving and beginning to cry again. Once it stops, you wash yourself up and try to go to bed. You dream of everything you have ever been afraid of but when you wake up, you realize it's a reality.
You go running the next day to try and clear your head, only to feel worse than you did the night before. A piece of you is missing and the effects are really taking a toll on you. So you run, thinking if you run far enough away, no one will ever find you. But, you stop yourself before you reach your house. You see Itachi, the man he caught you with the day before. You were discussing your own family's involvement in the Akatsuki and what they wanted from you. Your father sent money with Itachi as a gift.
Next thing you know, you tackle the man to the ground in the middle of the sidewalk and glower at him. All your pain has been turned to anger.
"This is your fault! You know better than to ever show up here! You and your stupid club have ruined everything!" you scream at him, "Why can't you just leave me alone, huh? Does my father really believe I need this stupid money?" You take out the money from your purse and throw it at him.
He stares at you in shock and begins to chuckle. There's a dark bruise on his left eye and a patch on his nose and band aids on his cheeks.
"And to think, your father knew this would happen. He told me to be more careful, but did I listen? Of course not. Now, I have a black eye and a severely broken nose and to top it off, my bosses daughter is ready to kill me. Life is great, right?"
You furrow your brow at him in confusion, "Where did those come from?"
Itachi huffs, "Your little boyfriend found me after I left yesterday, he beat the shit out of me and then accused me of sleeping with you. When I explained everything, he looked like a ghost and just left."
You get off him and walk back home without a word. He went after Itachi? You sink into the sofa and check your phone. It's been on the coffee table since before Gaara walked out on you.
20 Missed Calls
Ino, Ino, Naruto, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Ino, Neji... Etc...
45 Unread Texts
Ino: Forehead! Where are you? Did you leave the party?
Ino: I will find you Forehead! You need to let go a little bit!
Ino: Holy Shit! Gaara just showed up looking for you, he looks really pissed!
Every text from Ino followed along those lines until around 6 A.M. that morning when it occurred to her that you might be at home asleep. The other texts were from your friends that wanted to check up on you. None from Gaara.
You turn on music and just lay there on the sofa to drown out everything but the bittersweet taste of the alcohol you down.
Several weeks later, you're repeating the same routine of drinking and partying until three in the morning, crying in the shower and waking up to this seemingly endless nightmare. Next thing you know, he's opening the door and you're throwing miscellaneous objects at him. You two had been sharing the apartment going on two years and he had yet to show up until now. He dodges each and everyone easily until he's close enough to take your hands and hold you against him. You fight it crying like an idiot and yelling profanities at him until you're too exhausted to move anymore. Gaara's hair was in a complete mess and it looked like he hadn't shaved in weeks either.
"You left me alone! You let me believe I was worthless and just left me by myself!" you cry.
Gaara's hold on you tightens until you almost can't breathe. You feel his heart beat fast which makes your's quicken as well. But it's not enough for you this time. He has done this before. Accused you of being unfaithful. You gulp down the lump in your throat and shake your head.
"I can't do this over and over again." He keeps his mouth shut and buries his face in your hair as if he was pleading with you. You speak again shakily, "You don't trust me. I get being jealous but... I would never cheat! Why can't you accept that I love you and only you? Is it that hard?" A tear falls and hits his neck making him tense. And just like that, he's gone. Again, you cry, like a baby because you probably just gave up the best thing that's ever happened to you. He tried to crawl back but you pushed him away. Your phone buzzes and it's him. He must be sitting outside the door.
My top drawer next to the bed.
Without thinking you open the door to the hall but he's not there so you do as the message says. The only contents of the drawer is a notebook, a letter and a small jewelry box. You gulp and take the notebook first. Gaara has never let you look at it before but you assume he's giving you full access. It's a black and white sketchbook he's had since before you met him in high school. It's worn so you're careful to not rip it or let the loose pages fall out. You look at every picture and study each one piece by piece. He has them all dated too which gives you a timeline considering you've known since the first day of freshman year. The sketches started off dark and gloomy depicting demons and his hometown of Suna. You remember how angry of a person he was back then. But they take a small turn, still dark but for about half the sketches, there is a cherry blossom trees somewhere in the background. And then, you turn to a beautifully done portrait of you. It was dated January 1st, 2010, the day you confessed to him. It was the last sketch done in the book. You bite your lip, let out a staggered breath and find yourself smiling a bit. The letter was next.
Sakura,
If you're reading this, I probably fucked up again and I'm most likely staying at Naruto's or in a hotel. I'm sorry. That doesn't get said enough on my part and I never say it at the right time. But you always forgive me anyway. The best thing about my life is you and your presence. The fact that you have put up with me for going on half a decade astounds me. It's a blessing from the god I never believed in until he gave me you. It's sounds corny and really cliché but you should know by now it's true. And right now, I'm probably sitting at a bar somewhere drinking to try and forget all the pain I've caused you so I can come home and just lay in bed with you. But guts is something I haven't necessarily ever had when with you. You've always been the one to speak first and reach out to me first. You always do. Whether it's for me or someone else. And I get jealous so easily when it's someone else. I've never been in love before. And as you can see, I'm not particularly good at it either. I'm so sorry, Love.
,Gaara
You reread the letter four or five time crying somewhere in between there. It makes you smile too. The box is the last thing you take. You stare at it in worry for several minutes until you bite bullet and open it. Your eyes widen at the sight of that ring. It was the same ring you pointed out to Gaara one day while roaming around a random jewelry store in the city a year ago. He bought it when you weren't looking. It was simple and the diamond was modest but it had pink ruby-petals on the side. You put it on and let a sudden sob of happiness. You wipe the tears away quickly and practically run to the window where you know he's waiting for you. But he's not. Curiously, you look around looking disappointed. You even look outside again, calling him. It goes straight to voicemail. You frown until your eye catches the sparkle of your ring which makes you smile. It gives you faith again. But he doesn't come back tonight. You know because you wait up for him and call him a few times. He never shows back up. You jump at the sudden sound of you phone ringing and sigh in relief when Naruto is the one on the other side.
Do you mind coming to get Gaara? Naruto asks. He's never asked you to do that before.
"Um, sure. Everything okay?" you ask.
Yeah! I just found him really drunk at the bar outside your apartment building. I wasn't sure if you two talked or not.
You smile, "I'll be there in a few minutes."
Gaara is sitting at the bar beside Naruto when you arrive. He looks completely miserable and self-loathing. You come up behind him and tap his shoulder. His head perks up and he's annoyed at first but the sight of you makes him turn around completely and stand up. Your eyes meet and you smile wide, holding out your hand to him wordlessly. He takes your hand and sees the ring. A sigh of relief is heard and soon your off the ground in a bear hug, laughing. You remember that words aren't needed really. Just actions. Because everyone has there follies and his is speaking. You might not understand it always but that's okay. He doesn't always understand you either.