A/N: Why hello there. Just so we are clear. This story will eventually be Rizzles. Not right away, but, eventually. So if you don't like two girls together? Then hit the back button immediately. Still here? Awesome! I will do my best to update once a week. As a human being (least as far as you know) I am far from perfect, so if I am ever a little late I apologize in advance. I hope you enjoy the first chapter.
Edit: I have been informed that this Jane is very Dark/OOC. Also, there will be rough sex in this chapter.
The life she had come to live, the actions she was taking. She didn't like what she was doing, she didn't like who she had become. However, she was compelled to do it. It was as if she truly had no choice in the matter, she needed to survive. To the next case, to the next time she had to sit through an awkward family dinner.
With her heart chained up, and her scars hidden under her jacket, she lifted her hand to knock on the door. The money in her pocket was as hot as the devil himself; it felt like it was literally magma that was about to seep out of her jeans and run down to the floor.
Jane Rizzoli was a decorated Detective; homicide division. Yet, when those green eyes met hers, when that freshly blow-dried hair came into view, when the hooker before her smiled like that, Jane knew she couldn't turn back. She needed her like she needed air. Those eyes, that smile, so like the one she could never claim as hers. She was nothing more than a substitute, but she was a substitute that Jane had come to need, for her very survival. This woman before her had become one of the two reasons she didn't eat her gun at the end of the night.
The person before her could easily be Maura's doppelganger. Same green eyes, same smile, same facial structure. The only real difference between the woman was that the twenty year old hooker was not a natural blonde, she was a bottle blonde. Jane knew, that as a cop, hell, as a human being, she should be helping the woman off the streets, instead of turning into her customer.
Once again sunday night family dinner had been a tortuous event for the detective. The woman she loved was dating another person. Worse, was Ian had asked Jane's help, as Maura's best friend, to help him pick out the perfect ring for Maura. She had refused, claiming she wouldn't know about that sort of thing. Be that as it may, she knew it was only a matter of time until he popped the question to the girl Jane herself could never have. Only a matter of time until Maura said yes.
Ian has asked before dinner started, making sure that no one other than Jane and himself had heard their conversation. He'd lied smoothly when Angela and Maura asked what they had talked about beforehand, as the two had never been close. He had simply said he had been asking about baseball, hoping that if he knew more about the sport that he and Jane could become better friends. The people at the table had eaten it up like candy.
The vibrant red organ that pulsated the blood throughout her arteries was already broken. It had been for a long time. As Jane always had known the saddening truth that Maura didn't love her as anything but her best friend. Could never love her like Jane so desperately wished she did. Yet, it continued to do it's job, painfully so.
Boston would lose its 'best homicide detective in twenty years', according the newspaper headlines, when Ian placed a ring on Maura's finger. Seeing how when that happened Jane simply wouldn't have anything left to live for, and she wasn't sure if her heart would simply stop all function in that moment, or, if she'd have to eat her own bullet.
Halfway through dinner she simply couldn't take it anymore. Generally she at least made it through to the end, but she needed to get away. So she'd slipped away, claiming that she was tired and didn't feel well. Jane kissed her mother's cheek, told her she'd text her how she felt in the morning, and bolted. But she didn't direct her car towards her apartment like she had told everyone she was going to do.
Instead she had slid into the ATM, pulled out the max amount, four hundred cash, and headed to the hotel room she knew so well. To the one place that made her feel alive, to the one place where she felt like maybe everything would be alright. The one place that made her feel loved, even if it was a lie and wouldn't last through the night. Patty was always ready for her, always wanted her.
"I missed you Daddy Jay" Purred Maura's hooker of a doppelganger, directly into Jane's ear as she wrapped her arms and legs around the woman in question. "You're early tonight" and she was. The woman rarely got to the place before eleven on any given night. It was barely eight.
No response dropped from Jane's lips, instead she allowed the woman to kiss her neck as she carried the smaller woman into the hotel room that acted as the place Patty lived full-time. After dropping the bleach blonde onto the bed Jane tossed some cash at her, before dropping herself onto the couch.
Their lips would never touch, kissing was strictly forbidden. That didn't stop Patty from trailing kisses on other parts of the Detective's body. Jane allowed Patty to straddle her lap, and unbutton her shirt, she relaxed under Patty's touch, but she didn't want sex quite yet. She knew that Patty knew that as well.
The hooker had been seeing Jane on a regular basis for several months, no matter what, every sunday night the woman she knew only as 'Jay' would show up, cash in hand. Sometimes during the week she'd get a text, saying to clear her schedule and jump a shower, that she was on her way. Patty always obeyed those commands. Without complaint.
General clientele, at least as far as Patty's record, had been male, but when Jane hadshowed up one night. Claiming to be the 'Jay' who had emailed her about an appointment she'd let her in. She couldn't turn down the extra cash that Jane threw her way. And after a few sessions she came to understand, and accept, that Jay would never hurt her without her permission, she respected the hooker. And Patty appreciated that.
Knowing the truth that she was only a stand in hurt Patty, but she'd never let it show. She'd come to trust Jane, liked her, liked her real bad, more than she should. That didn't stop her from giving the woman what she needed. Even if it meant that the only name to escape Jane's lips when she was in Patty's bed was 'Maura'. The hooker would have prefered her screaming out her streetname, Lollipop, over another woman's. Even when she'd gone as far to tell Jay her real name it had only ever been Maura's that she had cried out when she came.
After slowly taking off her clothes as she rubbed up against the woman's lap who she was straddling. Patty glanced into her eyes. She could see the pain in her eyes, and the scars that lingered there. She leaned down and kissed her breasts that were now on display to the world, she wanted to prolong this phase for just a few more minutes.
Dark eyes bore into her green ones, and Patty knew that Jane could take no more teasing. She wanted what she wanted, and she wanted it now. The prostitute sighed before pulling the baggy out of her bra. She held back a wince as Jane's eyes brightened, the anger that was previously there draining at the sight of the thing she craved more than she craved Patty's body.
White powder shined nearly as bright as Jane's eyes as she snatched the baggy from the half-naked woman on top of her. Patty knew she was becoming addicted, but she didn't care. Not if it meant that Jay kept coming back to her. Jane lurched forward, Patty was quick enough to land on the cushion next to her rather than falling ass first into the coffee table.
Once the cocaine splashed against the glass of the table it was separated into a few lines, Jane eyed it like one eyes your dream car, or the woman you simply adore. It most certainly did nothing to help Patty's self esteem that the woman she liked looked more hungry when it came to drugs then when it came to her assets.
When the first line was snorted Jane let out a large sigh of relief, before taking a second. She leaned back, and pulled Patty onto her lap. Finally allowing her hands to roam the bleach blondes body. The bra was tossed to the floor. Now that she felt good, she needed to feel even better. And that was where Patty came in.
Drugs and prostitutes. Two things that a good cop, especially one like Jane, should have never gotten into. But, after the first fuck, after the first hit, she was hooked. It made her feel alive, when nothing else would. Everything else in her life seemed to be killing her slowly. Two things she shouldn't be addicted to, but she couldn't help but go back for more.
High, horny, and still just a bit heated, Jane was ready for action. She grabbed Patty roughly, and carried her to the bed. She slammed her down into it, she crawled on top of the woman. Giving her that look, waiting for Patty's reaction. Would she say no to her demands tonight? Or would she allow her to do as she pleased?
"It's alright. Please." Patty breathed as she grabbed Jane's hands and moved them to her neck. Jane complied, moving to her knees and sitting on Patty's stomach. "Daddy, I need it. I need you"
Jane couldn't understand why sometimes she needed to hurt Patty, she felt bad sometimes, but Patty always let her do it. Almost always, and Jane appreciated that she let her do it. And she loved it when she called her Daddy. She had the go ahead, so she began to squeeze Patty's neck. Tighter and tighter until Patty was red in the face. Releasing the woman's neck before she could pass out. She bit down into Patty's breasts, leaving bite marks, as she waited for the woman to regain some semblance of breathing.
Any way that Jane touched her Patty loved. She loved it, because, in those moments she was all Jane's. In those moments, Jane was hers too. It didn't matter if it was rough, it didn't matter if it hurt so bad she cried, it didn't matter if she was left bleeding, or with bruise marks that lasted a week. All that mattered was that she was Jane's for that time.
She wouldn't lie, the best times with Jane was the times when she was loving, when it was slower, but those times were always the worst. Those times only ever happened when she was drunk, and she threw Patty face down so she couldn't see her face. The bad part of those times was Jane would then crawl into the corner of the room, and cry until well after Patty was asleep. When she woke up the woman would be gone.
It didn't matter to Patty how they had sex, and it never would. As long as Jane came back, as long as Jane came to her, because no matter what Jane did, whether she used the strap on until she was raw and bleeding, or bit her until she needed stitches, she had never cum harder then when Jane fucked her. Never felt more loved. Even though it hurt that when Jane fucked her she was really fucking Maura, what mattered to Patty was the fact that Jane was pleasing her. Making her cum, touching her. Loving her, even if only physically.
A sense of emptiness hit her as Patty felt Jane cum, she'd whispered Maura's name once again. Her fingers still around Patty's aching throat, bruises had already started to appear. Both women were sweaty, and Patty was worn out. Jane had made her cum four times, and then she felt the taller woman's fingers jam right back into her throbbing opening. She winced, but god it felt good.
Jane's dominant hand didn't leave Patty's throat until she knew she had made the prostitute achieve orgasm once more. She let go, admiring the bruises while also hating herself for causing such marks. It was a love and hate relationship when it came to her handiwork. She crawled off the bed.
Masterful was the only way Patty had come to describe how quickly Jane always managed to get dressed in less than thirty seconds flat. The woman's jeans and blue button-up shirt was pulled onto her frame, and she was already tying her shoes. Patty had hoped she'd stay, but she knew it was a worthless endeavor. Jane only ever stayed when she cried, or was too drunk to drive home.
"Jay, please, just stay. I'll make it worth your while" Worthless endeavor or not, she had to try. The annoyed glare Jane shot her shut her up, and she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. The emptiness that came with Jane's departure already leaking into her system.
"I'm taking some for the road. I'm out. Ox and coke. I'll throw down some extra green on the table" Jane huffed as she grabbed a few little baggies from Patty's hiding spot. She didn't wait for the girl's response before she was out the front door, while simultaneously dry-swallowing a pill.
White powder spilled onto her shirt as she sucked up the substance into her nose from her car key. She hadn't managed to make it into her apartment before she had needed another hit, so before trekking all the way up the stairs she'd decided fuck it, she'd have one now. She wiped what she could off her shirt before she sighed and locked her car.
Today had been overly rough. First the fucker had the fucking stones to ask her if she would help HIM pick out a ring for the woman she LOVED but could never have. She clenched her fists as she tackled the stairs. Then he had gone on to give Maura 'Fuck me' eyes all through dinner. At this point all Jane wanted was to get into her house, get her dog outside, and then hit up once more before passing the fuck out, and trying to forget the events of the day.
A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read. I hope you stick around, please, let me know what you thought. See you guys soon.