Hey all! Hopefully you like this one. If any of you would want to help me immensely by taking part in my research survey for my thesis (ten minutes) which concerns a childhood satisfaction, attitudes about life, and adult desire to parent, I would be so grateful! I can only have participants over 18, but as long as you're over 18, with children or without, I could really use your help!
(remove the spaces before surveymonkey and after the first slashLink: www . surveymonkey/ r/Desire_To_Parent_Survey
To say the op went sideways would be a severe understatement.
Had it gone merely sideways, Kara wouldn't wince every time a tear is blinked away by her sister. Never quick enough to be unseen.
If it had gone sideways, Maggie would be at the bar losing at pool with a smile on her face and beer in her hand. If it had gone sideways, she would be conscious and joking. If it had gone sideways, she wouldn't be confined to this bed.
Kara fidgets with her hands as she sits beside Maggie's bed, eyes glued to her sister's tense form beside her.
"They said she'll wake up." She offers with a tight smile
"I know."
"She'll be okay."
Another tear. Another wince.
They've been here for hours. Alex's hand firmly enclosing Maggie's, eyes never parting from her face, her hand, her bandages. They've been here for hours, but Maggie has yet to move.
The doctors said it was a sedative, a strong pain medication to keep her out of as much hurt as possible. Alex understands. Logically she does. If she could take the pain away, she would in an instant. If she could have moved faster, could have seen the gun sooner, she would have gladly switched places. If she could hav-
"You should tell her." The whispered words nearly shake Alex from her thoughts enough to glance away from the dark-haired woman. Nearly.
"I can't." Gaze steady.
"You can." Kara leans forward, covering Alex's free hand with her own, "She deserves to know."
Silence is her only reply. Quick blinks and a sigh.
"What if this was it? What if she d-" A sharp heart-broken glance from Alex has her gulping in empathetic pain, "It could have been, Alex, and she would never know. You would never know."
"I-" A breath. "I can't lose her, Kara." The relief Kara feels at finally meeting her sister's eyes is all but vanquished at the pain she sees there. "At least this way I'll have her in some way. Maybe not the way I want, but at least she'd be here."
"It's not-" Kara's words are cut off by the ringing phone settled in Maggie's slightly singed jacket
"Do we?" Kara asks gaze returning to her sister after a quick glance to the source
"No, she'll," a loud swallow, "She'll be up to call them back soon."
The ringing continues. As one call ends another begins. Kara's nerves begin to get the better of her; Meanwhile, Alex seems to be lost in a world all her own.
She grabs the phone quickly, settling back down to look at the caller ID hoping it isn't a worried parent.
Kim.
10 missed calls.
6 Text messages
4 Voicemails
Kim.
Who the hec-
Jonn breezes into the room without a word as the phone once again vibrates. Quickly snatching the device from Kara's hand he mumbles a 'if I have to hear this insufferable buzzing one more time'.
"Hello."
"I-"
"No-"
"I-"
"She-"
Pulling the phone away from his ear he checks the screen.
"Kim, she-"
"Maggie-"
Even without Kara's super hearing, the woman's frantic words were heard by all.
"Kim?" Alex mutters looking toward her sister confusion in her eyes.
A wide-eyed shrug is her only reply.
"I'm sending a car to your location." Jonn sighs out in relief once the line goes dead.
"Head of a secret agent organization, eh?" Kara taunts, trying to cut the tension radiating from her sister.
"I'm not dealing with that woman. You two have fun. ETA 15 minutes."
The duo nod as he stocks from the room.
"Kim?"
"Has she ever mentioned a Kim?"
Alex's eyes run over Maggie's form once again, "No, she hasn't."
"That doesn't mean what you think it means."
"I may have already missed my chance."
"You don't know that! They could be friends."
"Friends who call how many times in the last few minutes?"
"Touché." Kara mumbles, "But you would do the same for Mag- Oh…yeah. But-" Alex's raised hand stops her ramble.
"That's not what's important right now." Her eyes stray back to the woman in bed, the feeling of losing her twice in one day causing a dark cloud to settle within her.
Silence consumes the room once again. Kara's fidgeting. Alex's blinking. Only the thoughts assaulting the women have changed, have worsened, have doubled.
"If I have to wait one more second-" The sharp voice carried through the med bay, causing the duo to go rigid in their chairs
"Right this way." The frazzled voice of a medical assistant directs
Hurried steps grow closer, Kara sending Alex a (hopefully) comforting glance.
"Oh my god," The voice seems to whisper as a presence breezes into the room, "Mags."
The woman's long dark box braids pulled back in a loose pony tail, eyes wide as fear and familiar tears cause them to shine. Her hand covers her mouth, not sparing the other women in the room a glance.
"Why didn't anyone call me?" She grinds out, protectiveness coloring her words. She moves her attention back to the anxious assistant, "I'm her emergency contact, why wasn't I notified?"
Seeing the assistant fumble over words, Kim seems to soften. "I'm sorry. I just-" She gestures to the unconscious woman, "I'm supposed to be notified if anything happens to that idiot." She finishes with a watery laugh
It's not long before the assistant makes a quick retreat; Meanwhile, Kim takes a steadying breath, finally taking notice of the others in the room.
"Uh, sorry about all that," She motions toward the door nervously
"It's fine, you really should have been called." Kara replies, mustering a smile Kim moves closer to Maggie's form
"It's whatever," The woman shrugs, "The precinct probably forgot to update the forms. Homophobes."
The mutter causes another flash of pain to light within Alex.
"So you're-uh- you two are-" Kara tries to put her question into words, both needing and dreading the answer. "Are you gay?" She goes for the less direct approach
"Am I gay?" Kim asks, eyebrow raised as a puff of nervous laughter escapes her lips, "I'm ecstatic." Her reply comes as she settles herself cautiously to the right of Maggie's hip.
"You're Maggie's girlfriend." Alex states, cold acceptance attempting to drown out her hurt
Kim eyes Alex for a moment too long making her shift in discomfort.
"You're Alex, aren't you?" She deflects, words sounding more as a statement than anything else
Alex nods quickly, motioning to Kara, "This is my sister, Kara."
"Nice to meet- well I guess not nice, considering the circumstances but-"
"We know what you mean." Kara replies with a genuine smile as the woman trails off, "Same for us."
Kim seems to be cataloguing each scratch and stitch marring Maggie's body. "What happened?" She asks as her hand trails up to brush away some hair from Maggie's face
Alex swallows her hurt, trying not to replay the gentle touch. The gentle touch she could never give.
"We were on a raid, got ambushed. She," Alex stops, eyes closing to fight back the tears, "Maggie jumped in front of the bullets. Saved me and two other agents."
"Idiot." The name is said with so much care, so much warmth, neither Alex nor Kara could take offense. "She's always so reckless. Brave, don't get me wrong -I'm glad you all are safe. Just- she never-"
"If it helps in any way I wish it were me instead." Alex voices, eyes downcast
"Alex! Don't say that!"
"She did this to save me- if I had seen the gun-"
"Stop." Kim's voice drifts commandingly through the room. Attention on her, she pauses unsure. "Maggie would have wanted to be in this bed if things had been reversed, Alex."
"What do you mean?" Kara asks, sensing more than seeing her sister's confusion
Kim's lips quirk up into a smile.
"I mean, Maggie is reckless but she never regrets it. Not when it comes to keeping people she cares about safe."
When their eyes meet, a sense of understanding passes between the two most important women in Maggie's life.
Kim seems to follow Alex's arm to it's still tight grasp on Maggie's hand.
"Laura was right about you," She says before rethinking her words, shrugging with a smirk, "Well, excluding the more…shall we say, angry words."
"Laura?"
"Maggie's ex. I think you met her a few months ago?" Confusion begins to flow throughout Alex, unnoticed to Kim as her eyes fall to the cool hand she carefully rubs her thumb over.
"Wait, I thought-" Kara begins, eyes shooting to her sister's stiffened form. Maybe she shouldn't be the one to ask.
"You're not dating then?" Alex whispers
For her part, Kim does her best to hide the watery chuckle. She really does.
"No, not for lack of trying." Head shake. Soft smile. "Her heart belongs to another."
Kara watches pained as Alex seems to inflate then deflate in the span of seconds.
"Oh."
The upset is evident in her voice. Before she can run, before she can hide, before she can pretend, Kim's voice floats among the air with a sarcastic lilt.
"Apparently, there's more than one idiot in this room."
"Excuse me-" Kara's offense is cut off by the soft smile on Kim's face as she stares into Alex's hurt filled eyes
"Look, she's going to kill me when she finds out that I told you this," Hand gesture toward the unconscious woman. "So, I expect some protection and potentially an armed guard." At the glimmer of pride flashing behind Alex's watery eyes, she continues, "Your girl's scary."
"That she is- wait-" Deep breath. Stop hoping. Stop hoping. Stop hoping. "My- what?"
"I'm telling you," Kim stares at Kara dead pan in presence, "idiots."
Kara's smile causes Alex to stop. Breath. Hope?
"She likes you, really likes you if you ask me."
"How do you know?" Alex finds her voice
"Let's just say, the only time she's ever talked nearly as much about something as she talks about you was four years ago when she joined the science division."
"Nerd."
"A perfect match. Two nerds sitting in a tree and all that jazz." Kim finishes with a teasing flourish, shifting a little further on to the bed
At the eyebrow raise from Alex, she sighs.
"PhD, but decided to switch to this swanky I'm-not-supposed-to-know-about agency to work with aliens and nearly as obsessed with your job as Mag's? Certifiable nerd."
Kara lets out a laugh, nudging Alex's leg with her own.
"I told you she talks about you." A shrug.
A beat.
"So-"
Alex's words are lost in the second-natured movements of a nurse on rounds. He checks her bandages, vitals, marking somethings down with a soft sigh.
"Should be a few hours yet, this last IV should help flush out the last of it."
"Thank you." The soft chorus follows him out
Sensing Alex's attempt to reorganize the courage to speak again, Kim tries to lighten the air.
"Mags is going to be so mad. Last guy that got that handsy with her ended up with a broken arm and a permanent limp." Wide eyed stares, pride radiating. "I told you she was scary."
Kara and Kim's chuckles are interrupted by Alex's far away, "So, you're saying she likes me?"
A nod.
"And that she'll kill me when she finds out I told you, let's not forget about the armed guards."
A dorky salute from Kara is her reply.
Soft amazement seems to seep out of Alex's being. Tension still there. Fear still there. But hope, hope finds a way through.
Her hand begins to run up and down Maggie's arm, slightly calmed at the feeling of her pulse. The fear pulling back a bit, a smile finding its way to her lips.
Hope.