People applauded, and gasped. They never imagined, in their lifetime, that Marilyn Monroe would be in Liverpool.
She was here for a reason, and one reason only. She wanted to tell a Mrs Johnstone that she disagreed.
Ms Monroe was horrified with the state of Liverpool. When she returned to the USA, she was going to tell her lover, a John F. Kennedy, that it should be removed from the map.
She arrived at the Johnstone house, and knocked on the door, grimacing because the door was covered in grime. The door opened, and Monroe began to shriek.
"BITCH, YOU ARE NOT SEXIER THAN ME. YOU ARE NOT LOVELIER THAN ME. YOU ARE TWICE THE SIZE OF ME THOUGH."
Mrs Johnstone took off her shoe, and swang it at the blonde superstar.
"YOU SHALLOW, SELF SERVING SLUT!" Mrs Johnstone screamed back.
"YOU DO NOT HAVE LEGS LIKE MINE, YOU CANCEROUS WHORE!"
Mrs Johnstone pulled Ms Monroe's hair, and held it by the doorframe. Ms Monroe screamed. Mrs Johnstone smashed the door into her head, and Monroe collapsed.
"Shit." Mrs Johnstone said. "I pray she'll be OK, wait, she's Marilyn Monroe."
She turned to the late Monroe's bodyguard, and instructed: "Now let's go dancing, you'll take me dancing."