Hi guys...I'm sorry I've been absent from fanfiction for such a long time. School and life interfered. However, my muse presented me with this idea yesterday, and I was unable to resist. Enjoy, and please do review?
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Fred and George stumbled out of Umbridge's office, wincing slightly as they held their still-bleeding hands against their chests. Neither of them looked at the other; both knew that the same expression would be mirrored, and neither of them found that they could speak. They were about two hallways down from the "lacy pink hell-hole," as Fred had termed it, when Fred noticed that tears were slowly sliding down George's face. He turned around in alarm and snatched up George's left hand.
"George, did she, I don't know, cut a nerve or a muscle or a tendon, or something?"
"No, that's not it," said George, swiping at his eyes with his good hand. "No, I was thinking-you see, Fred, all the first-years that didn't get sorted into Slytherin...what sort of picture of the world will they have? Will they even want to be back here, even after Umbridge is gone?"
Fred was silent. He knew exactly what George meant, and the same thought had arisen in his mind time and again over the past weeks.
"Then," he said, "we have to stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Umbridge, Gred. We've got to stop her and make her rue the day she set foot in Hogwarts."
George gave a half-smile, and nodded. "What should we do?"
"Not one of our usual pranks, of course," said George, "but something original-"
"-and amazing and completely-"
"-extraordinary." The twins grinned widely and George plunged his hand into his pocket.
"Do you have Murtlap essence?" asked Fred. George nodded excitedly and brought out a tiny yellow jar. He and Fred applied the thick, gelatinous liquid within to the backs of their hands and wriggled their fingers at the instantaneous relief.
"Come on, let's get back to Lee." George closed the jar and the two boys hurried down the corridors until they reached Gryffindor Tower. They gave the password-"Peach Cobbler," and vanished up the boy's staircase in a flash, startling the rest of the common-room.
"Looks like the Fat Lady's taken a leaf out of Dumbledore's book," said Fred. Lee was sitting in their dormitory, snoring loudly. He was also, for some reason the twins could not place, covered in purple socks and woolly hats.
"Lee! Wake up!" George bounded to Lee's side and shook him energetically. Lee leapt up with a superhuman snort, socks and hats showering the stone floor.
"Purple pog!" he bellowed, and then sat still when he saw it. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," said George, bounding onto his own bed. "We need a way to get back at Umbridge. Make her pay for everything she's done. Make her suffer."
"And you want something more than Puking Pastilles and Nosebleed Nougats, am I correct?"
"Definitely," nodded Fred. "But we don't need to leave out the Wizard Wheezes, either. After all, they can only make it better, not worse."
"So something...how long would you want the prank to be?"Lee was already pulling open his drawers and drawing out a sheaf of notebooks, each labeled with a category of pranks. The thinnest one was labeled, "Harmless." The other eight bore white slips of paper saying, "Very Harmful. Mum would kill us. Dietary. Safe for Ginny. Great Hall Pranks. Hallway Pranks. Classroom Pranks." The very last said, "For Umbridge." Lee turned to the first blank page, picked up a quill, opened a bottle of ink, and looked up at the twins expectantly.
"No, we're not even thinking of a prank."
"Then what? Do you want to, maybe, curse her or something?"
"No, I was thinking of more like large-scale revenge."
"I have an idea," said Lee, licking the tip of his quill and dipping it into the inkpot. "I was thinking...Umbridge works for the Ministry, doesn't she?"
"Yeah."
"And her reputation there is pretty solid, isn't it?"
"So far as I know. Percy's pretty taken with her. He sent Ron that ridiculous letter, remember, calling her a wonderful woman?"
"Yup."
"So we ruin her reputation in the Ministry."
"If she was discovered doing what she does here, things would just get worse here. That's the only reason she keeps doing this." George pulled the cork out of a bottle of butterbeer and opened a box of savory meat pastries which he had gotten from the kitchen. "Meat pies, anyone?"
"I'll take one," said Lee, plunging his hand into the box. "But, of course, the solution to that is to ruin it in a way that even she can't cover up. In a way that'll have to leak out. In a way that the whole Wizarding World is going to get to know."
"What's that?" asked George, mouth full of pork and pastry.
In answer, Lee pulled a flask of mudlike potion out of a bag.
The twins understood at once.
"Polyjuice," they breathed, looking from one to the other with gigantic grins splitting their faces.
