THIS IS NOT US
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Goody bag my lovelies.
"Hey baby," Freddie said walking in, sitting beside you.
"Hi," you said weakly, not really paying much attention. He leaned over and gave you a quick kiss. When you did nothing, he did something.
"Sam, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing, I'm okay," you lied, staring at the blank TV.
"No, something's wrong. Come on, you can tell me anything," he said, taking your hand in his. Soon enough, you snapped back into reality. You snatched away your hand. With him giving you a confused look, you darted up the stairs away from him.
"What's this about?" he yelled as you slammed Carly's door shut.
"Sam! What's going on?" she asked. She seemed to panic.
"N-Nothing. Nothing at all Carls," you said, trying to be calm but failing.
You felt banging against the other side of the door. Without realizing it, you had locked it and pressed up against it. "Sam, open the door! What's wrong? You can tell me! Carly! Let me in!" he yelled. Frightened, you leapt for her window, and for the fire escape. Looking around you hid under a chair. You heard a click and Freddie was let in.
"Freddie? What's going on?" you hear Carly ask.
"I don't know. I came in, kissed her, asked her what was wrong, took her hand, and then she snapped, and ran up here. I thought you'd know but I guess not," he explained. Not really. He doesn't know why. You heard footsteps and knew he was coming out after you. So as fast as you could, you sprang up and was about the grab onto the ladder, but Freddie's hand caught your arm.
"Let me go," you growl. He doesn't move. "I said, let me go Benson!" you yell.
"What's wrong baby. You can tell me something, anything, everything if you to. I'm right here listening," he said softly.
You're frightened to tell him the truth. Nonetheless, your mouth begins to open, and words fall out like an avalanche. "This isn't us Freddie. Me. You. Dating. It's not working. We aren't meant to be together. Sam and Freddie don't like each other. They aren't friends. They don't hug or kiss or hold hands. They aren't a couple. They aren't together, they never kissed, never held hands, never hugged, never did anything couple-like. They aren't…us."
With his mouth hanging open, you don't know what to say anymore, but you manage to say a quiet, "I'm sorry Freddie," With that, you think he blows.
"Sorry? Sorry! Sorry doesn't rewind time, Sam! We are together. We are a couple. We do hold hands. We do hug. We do kiss. It's okay! Everyone does these things, and I just want them to be with you. Don't lie! I know you love this relationship as much as I do. Stop acting like this. I just want you to be happy," he whispers in your ear, hugging you tightly.
You can't bring yourself to hug back nor do anything. He's the only thing holding you up and when he let's go, you tumble down. Like a pin dropped on the floor. Scraped skin on cement, you feel the burn of it yet, it never happened. You were caught by your plane. You thought you had fallen out, but it was only a mistake. Or was it? You're not so sure anymore.
"Save me," you whisper.
"Never let go," he responds.
"Never?" you're surprised at his words.
"Never," he says. He holds you tight, and somewhere beyond you find the strength to hold him back. Wrapping your arms around him feels so right but so wrong at the same time.
Yet, you've never been one to follow the rules, so it doesn't really matter does it?
NO.
"Don't do that again, okay?" he asks.
"I can't promise that, Freddie," you say. He gives you that look and you fall back into his arms again.
"For me baby, for me," he says. His voice send shivers all over your body and your not so sure that will ever leave him. That you'll never let him go. But who knows what the future holds?
"I love you," he says.
"I love you too," you say, without even realizing it.
You look up and your eyes meet his. When a blue-eyed and brown-eyed spark meet, sure it's full of opposites, but maybe it's what you need to stay together. Feeling what you're feeling right now is the feeling that you want to feel forever.
Safe.
Loved.
Cared for.
Special.
His.
"Keep me safe," you say.
"Always," he says, kissing your forehead.
"Keep me loved," you say.
"Forever," he says, and you know that he means it.
"Keep me cared for," you say.
"Why would I not?" he asks rhetorically.
"Keep me special," you say.
"I'll never stop," he says, knowing there's gonna be one more.
"Keep me yours," you whisper.
"Promise," he says, kissing you.
Blissful. Protected. His.
You loving him,
Him loving you,
Is ALL that matters to you,
And him too.
"But where does this leave us?" you can't help but wonder aloud in his arms.
"That's another story, for another day baby," he whispers in your ear, and you smile, pressing against him, loving every. single. moment.
F.I.N
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