There are times in my life I find myself in situations so unusual, I don't understand how I got there.

I am stuck, in my car, in the middle of nowhere, between Forks and Port Angeles. The radio is warning of 10 miles traffic jams. How on earth is it possible that so many people want to go in Forks' direction ?

You know this feeling, when you really get along with a guy, and suddenly you have a huge fight, but you don't know why. You both say horrible things to each other, things you only half mean, but just enough so the other believes you (Okay fine, maybe it's just me. I'm a very passionate person and when I argue, I argue. But just humor me). So then you realize you don't want to argue, you don't want to yell, you just want to go back to when things were great. When everything was okay. You can't remember why things changed, or how.

Things were great. I just finished College after a few years of hard work. I was coming back home to see my family. And now I'm stuck in traffic for what looks like a long time, with no food, in my very old, very fragile car.

It started when I was a kid.

I was home with the babysitter and my siblings. Rebecca and I were watching a movie, and Jacob was giggling while playing with his cuddly toys. A few hours later, we were in the waiting room of the hospital, wondering what the hell was going on. Our mom was dead, and our dad was in surgery. They weren't sure they could save him. They did, eventually. Not his legs, but at least he was still here with us.

And then, it went on.

Years later, I was an excellent student in La Push High. I was a straight A student. I studied hard, did my very best. And then, I was sent in detention. For no real reason, really. I did not get into any kind of fights. I did not talk back to teachers, ever. In fact, I very rarely talked outside of my house. It happened more often than not, and I often found myself in detention wondering why.

I guess I had that wicked, arrogant smile that teachers hated. I didn't like to have my hand forced, so when they dared to interrupt my thoughts to ask me to answer their stupid questions, I acted out, I guess. If it's possible to act out silently. I smirked, I scoffed, I shook my head, but never talked. Or I simply stared at the door.

It was not a matter of being able to talk. I could talk just fine. I didn't stutter or anything… I just didn't want to. And the teachers knew it. Some were okay with it, as they had enough to deal with already. Most students wouldn't stop talking during their classes.

Others, not so much. They saw me as a challenge. Some sent me to detention every time I refused to give them an answer, hoping the "sentence" would break me. I was just silent, not a criminal. One of them even tried to have me suspended, but it was just a ridicule attempt. I was Billy Black's daughter, and my grades were perfect.

I was never late, and I never missed a class. Most of the time, I even did the additional homework. Not that I wanted to, I just had nothing better to do. I had very few friends, most people don't enjoy hanging out with "fake mute girls". Sandra Tayk called me that, once. It was weird.

I had one good friend though, one I even actually talked to, with words, coming out of my mouth, willingly.

I liked Sam. He was quiet, like me. We understood each other with simple looks or smiles. Silence never felt awkward with him. It was right. Peaceful. That is, until he started dating Leah Clearwater. It's not a very interesting story, but since I'm stuck here, I might as well...

My sister was my best friend. As twins, it's not that much of a surprise. We had the biggest and loudest arguments of the history of siblings, but 20 minutes later, we always went back to being best friends. We knew each other in a way no one else could.

She got really mad at Sam when he sort of abandoned me. Even I wasn't mad, but she felt like she had to protect me, I guess. Though he didn't insult me or anything. He just had lunch with Leah and her friends instead of me. He stopped joining me for our Saturday lunch on First Beach. It was a ridiculous habit we had. He'd bring the soda, I'd bring the sandwiches, and we'd watch the waves, go for a walk, or talk. We talked about his dad leaving, my mom dying, our hopes and dreams. We'd complain about school, like normal teenagers would.

One Saturday, he just wasn't there. The next Monday, I saw him at school.

-Rach', why are you glaring at me with those big Black eyes ? He whispered as he approached me while I was picking up a book from my locker.

It was one of his oldest jokes. He used to say my last name suited both my soul and my eyes, because both were dark (I still can't believe either one of us found it amusing at any point in our lives). I handed him his two days old sandwich and it was the end of our friendship. I was upset, of course. But not as much as Rebecca. She even tried to blame Leah but I reminded her that the girl was never anything but nice and polite to me.

My sister always had friends, she was nice to every one, always smiling and laughing. It shocked the entire school when she yelled at him before English class a week later.

I knew I would leave La Push for College in a year, so it was not that big of a deal for me. It was a huge betrayal in her eyes though.

It didn't stop her from doing the same to me when she met Salomon.

We were just done with high school then. I had no idea where I was going to study in September yet. I received a letter from Seattle's University of Washington, informing me that I got a full scholarship for their School of Nursing. But I still wasn't sure if it was really what I wanted to.

Beckie (she hated it when we called her that) had a part time job at Forks' Walmart during the year, so she had some money to have fun. After months of trying to convince Dad to let her go, she went on vacation… In Hawaï. She wanted to learn how to «properly surf». I think she just really wanted to take a break from La Push and, honestly, no one could blame her. She called me quite often in the beginning. But as soon as she started mentioning a «hot as hell surfer», she forgot about her twin. It's not like she disappeared or anything. She still called to let us know she was okay and having fun. But we never talked anymore. At some point she just briefly talked to Dad and stopped asking him to give me the phone.

And for the first time in years, I felt anger.

It was real, deep, anger. The kind that eat your insides. I think there are some feelings I refused to acknowledge when my mom died. I refused to be angry, or to feel the anger her death provoked in me. I refused to feel her absence, in my heart, in our house, in my life. I couldn't feel it. So I just buried all those negative feelings, and let myself be the quiet girl.

When Rebecca announced us she would get married and stay in Hawaï, it was like I woke up from a years long nap. My twin was abandoning me. Just like my mom did, just like Sam. She would no longer be there to protect me, to comfort me, to make me smile. Weirdly enough, it didn't make me sad. I didn't cry -I really wasn't the crying type. I growled. Not literally, needless to say. But something inside me growled. I wanted to break things, punch someone, scream, anything to just start living again. I had trouble breathing, for real. It was like panic attacks… But I wasn't panicking, I was raging.

Since my mom died, I wasn't living, I was existing. And it had to change.

I went to College in the blink of an eye, and pulled myself together. I met people I made the effort to talk to. I started seeing a psychologist to help me deal with these feelings that I was starting to feel again after years of «emotional slumber».

I became the kind of girl that liked to do sports. Well, not any kind of sports. Anything involving playing with a team was of course not an option for me. Running was fine, boxing was great. I think I scared my psychologist a bit when I talked for twenty minutes about the peace I felt after spending an hour throwing punches. She suggested I also tried yoga. And surprisingly, I liked it. A lot.

My psychologist was young. Really young. She was not even thirty yet. Always had perfect nails and make up. Totally not how I imagined her to be. I thought she'd be like, fifty with a bit of gray hair, and glasses. Definitely glasses. She was sarcastic and funny when she wanted to. And she managed to convince me to start calling my sister.

-Rachel, I think it's time you admit you could have called your sister at any time. You're just angry she decided to live her life, while you were… Not.

I just know she said that to provoke me. She knew I'd want to prove her wrong and call Beckie. And I did. It'll never be the same between us, but it's still good to hear her voice.

So this was the new version of myself. Well, not exactly new. I'd say enhanced. I was still mostly quiet, but I had a few friends. I went out, even had my share of frat parties. I boxed, ran, and relaxed. I was still getting excellent grades. I made the trip to La Push every year for Thanksgiving, Christmas and during my summer break. Dad and Jake were mostly glad, because I now knew how to cook a few good things, thanks to my roommate Lena.

Now I graduated from College, and had nothing else to do in Seattle. Working and living there permanently didn't really seem like a good idea. As much as I enjoyed my time in Seattle, I was still a quiet girl at heart. I preferred small towns, quiet towns. I managed to get an interview at Forks' Hospital next month though. Might not be that bad.

My eyes were still very dark, so deep in the brown it was almost black, but there was a sparkle in it now.

My name is Rachel Black, and I am coming back to La Push.

.

If I ever manage to survive this traffic.

AN :

Hey guys ! My name's Nina and this is the first time I try to write... In English. I'm actually French. So, I apologize for the mistakes I'm sure I've made. I am trying really hard to produce something correct, but I'm aware I still have a lot of work to do. Is anyone interested in a Beta position ?

This is a short chapter because for now I'm just trying to give you an idea of Rachel's personality.

I'm not sure yet if this will lead to a story, so please leave a review to tell me what you imagine next... Or if I should just stop writing and go back to reading lol.

Ninà