My Kindred Knight
My first songfic! Sorry for not being active recently. Been busy with school and more recently, I have been plagued by illness. I'm still kind of ill now, so apologies if this fanfic makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Not that it really is supposed to, anyway, and you'll see why. R and R as usual!
Song used: Kindred - Super Metroid (OC Remix)
When, from the dark,
Forms fall apart
Leading my feet to the sea.
Why?
That is the only question that runs rampant through my head. Why did he have to leave me? Why couldn't he have lived and we still be together now? Why did his life have to end so cruelly? All I see in my dreams is his body being torn apart by the explosion that tore my heart in two, and that last smile as he faded away. He knew the mission was suicide. He wanted to make sure I lived; he wanted to save me. Such a selfless act – but why did he have to do it? Why couldn't he be here with me now?
Whispers a tide
In my mind:
"Follow the call of the deep."
What call is there to follow? What light is there to guide me? That day, my beacon was coldly smashed. I have no guiding light. I am lost in a world of darkness and doubt, in which my heart does not know the way out of. I am a floundering ship on the stormy seas of cruelty and injustice, and the lighthouse I used to look to no longer shines its rays upon me. I'm alone in the night. So cold and lonely; I feel like a child again.
The kindred night,
The kindred night holds me here;
Holds me close and I live for the sight.
Darkness is my only kin now; my only solace in an otherwise uncomforting world. The shadows harbour my anger; the night holds me firm and draws close to me, keeping me going. My heart seeks justice; my soul seeks revenge, and my entire being longs for the thrill of battle to satisfy me once more. Darkness is not just my kin; it is the very force inside me that drives me on the path of destruction. A force that makes me want to put an end to such injustice; to make this cruelty stop. Once and for all.
The kindred night,
The kindred night holds me here;
Holds me close and I live for the sight.
But, can this be called living, though? Am I really alive? Do I truly exist in this eternal darkness? Is there a place for me in this harsh world?
Eyes in the grass
Blink as I pass;
Shimmering, gleaming at me.
No. Though he may be gone, he is still watching over me. I know it in my heart. He would not want to see me cry for him. But it is hard. He was my best friend, the closest thing to a father I had. And I loved and cared deeply for him, and undoubtedly, in his own way, I suppose he cared deeply for me too. Now he is gone, just like that. Such a cruel way to say goodbye... Why? Why did his life have to end like this?
And, with a breath
Spirit-possessed,
I will surrender my plea.
"No objections, right lady?" I still hear his catchphrase replaying over and over in my head, haunting me every night, in every dream, whenever I stand and close my eyes; his final words to me. My only wish was that he could be here guiding me, because without him, when I've not been throwing my mind into the fight, I've felt lost, alone and confused. I feel my life is but a meaningless existence, that I am but an empty shell, unfulfilled, unloved, just soldiering on in autopilot, hanging on.
The kindred night,
The kindred night holds me here;
Holds me close and I live for the sight.
What would he think if he saw me like this? I wish he could hold me close, tell me it is going to be all right. But I am denied this, by one simple, cold twist of fate. Then I remember, he always holds me close, for his spirit is always near. He holds me here, holds me in this very existence, on the path of determination. The determination to live; the determination to see justice done. He granted me that eye of the storm clarity with his fading smile that day, and I'm going to use it.
The kindred night,
The kindred night holds me here;
Holds me close and I live for the sight.
Now I know why he chose to save me. All my questions have answers. Everything blazes clear in my mind. He was right: I am a galactic saviour. He knew I would continue to obtain justice. But there was one thing he was wrong in. He said he was merely human. To me he wasn't. To me he, too, was a galactic saviour, perhaps more so than I. Truly, he was a knight. My knight.
Adam Malkovich.
My kindred knight.