In time :)

I haven't thought of you for a while; you see I've had so much to think about lately, I've had more important things on my mind. I was so close to losing Doug, but unlike you, he came good in the end. I really thought that he was going to marry Leanne but he didn't. The thought of losing me was too much for him and he stopped me from walking away before it was too late.

I should be happy right? But part of me wasn't and I had two main reasons for that. One being that it only reminded me of the times you said you were going to admit to who you were, but never did and two well I couldn't come running back to you now could I?

I hate myself for still wanting you, for still desperately needing you to be some part of my day, but loving you is all I have known for the longest time and I have tried to stop, really I have, but you are etched on my brain and engraved in my heart. I know I pushed you away, but I needed to see if you had changed, I couldn't be with you all the while you couldn't accept yourself, you would only hurt me again and I couldn't go through that.

I wonder if we will ever really be over. I know I have Doug and you have had plenty of random blokes, but they aren't enough for us are they? The strangers will never be me and Doug will never be you…end of. Why do I even bother trying to fight it? I know I will find my way home to you eventually, so I might as well admit defeat now. We are meant to be you and me and no matter what happens I will always believe that.

That attraction we share, the pull, the need to wrap each other up in love and passion, together we could have it all.
People search their whole lives for one moment of what we share when we're together, do you know that? Sometimes I just can't ignore the way I feel when I see you smile, which I know isn't often but then when you do...wow it's mesmerizing. I wish we would have got together now instead of back then. You're not afraid to touch me, kiss me and be with me like you were; you would give me the world if I asked for it now.

We've been apart for a while now though and I worry that the longer we spend away from each other the harder it will be to find our way back. If I came back would you treat me right this time? Would you love me properly? Without violence and without mind games?

Individually unique, together complete, that's us and I'm sick of ignoring these feelings. I'm sick of being without you, I miss you and I miss us. It might be today or tomorrow or it might even be in year of two, but I know I'll be back in your life one day and everything will be the way it should be, the way it's destined to be…..

In time.

Please review :) xxxx