It was almost too painful to hold a chuckle in at the question. A long-familiar cackle escapes my cracked, bloodied lips as I double over in laughter, my insides burning at the animal's quip. I let the beautiful echo of my interminable laughter fill the darkened room and ricochet off the walls and out to the night sky for all the lovely people of Gotham and beyond to hear.
I have started coughing now, taking in long gulps of air as I try to retain my laugh. It really is true what they say: laughter is the best medicine! And I feel great!
My actions have only seemed to make ol' Batsy more infuriated than he was before, and I just keep laughing. It has become a wondrous pattern to my ears, the old cough and gag. It truly makes my soul feel complete and full of utter happiness! With each strike and jab to my slender body from the Bat, it leaves an even bigger smile on my face!
"Answer me!" his rugged voice spits through his bloodied teeth. This guy just kills me! Hanging up the dull cape and cowl for a life in stand-up comedy seems like a better use of his time than this vigilant persona he puts on to scare the people of Gotham. A man dressed as an animal? Now that's the real joke. And I thought I was crazy. I'm the sanest person in this room! Heck, the whole city!
"You know–", I sigh as I attempt to calm myself down, smoothing my reverberant green hair across my scalp and out of my eyes, "you should buy me dinner first before getting right down to it, if you know what I mean." A giggle escapes my lips and I am returned with another forceful strike to the side.
A small cough escapes my body and I look up at the Bat sadly. "From the looks of it, I think that dinner is out of the question." Rubbing my side with my tattooed right hand, a hiss of discomfort follows my response.
Bats grabs me by the collar of my white, sweat-stained dress shirt and lifts me off my feet with his ample gloved hands. I am pinned against a concrete wall, only two inches between a man too old for Halloween. I inspect the bat symbol on his chest and look back at Gotham's savior. His eyes look so pained, so tired, so angry beneath the scratched up mask. I almost feel bad for him. I giggle at my own joke.
I await his response as I attempt to tap dance in midair. Bats is trying to look menacing and almighty but it's just so hard to concentrate when I'm trying to practice my new routine. Harley taught me this new routine a couple days ago and I really want to impress her. Maybe if I let Bats in on it, he could help me prepare. Oh, how a get-together with the family is very well needed!
He pulls me away from the wall and quickly shoves me back in it, ruining the final act of my performance. My back stiffens and I roll my eyes and stare at him. If he wanted to talk to me this bad, all he had to do was ask nicely.
"Can you ease up on your grip Bats, I just ironed this shirt" I ask politely. He continues to grit his teeth and act all mopey.
After a few moments of silence and me singing songs in my head, he finally speaks for what seems like an eternity.
"I have had enough of your games, Joker. I have had enough of your tasteless jokes and your useless babbling. I am going to ask you one last time before I throw you back into Arkham, and I am going to get a proper answer."
Enter drum roll! Point all lights on us! The crowd itches at the edge of their seats, biting their nails in anticipation for the actor's next lines.
"Why do you do it? Why do you do the things you do? How does one get so far away from reality that they just don't care? Why don't you just give up when you know in the end you're going to get caught?"
Hearing that joke again brightens up my mood as I cackle and hack yet again. I am on the verge of tears as my laughter proceeds. Rubbing at the tears on my face with my left hand, rings grazing lightly at my radiant, natural skin, I blink rapidly, missing the remains of my lovely burst of joy. I allow a large inhale of air into my lungs and feel it escaping my system as I coo at the thought of the question. Oh, how I will have fun with this one.
"To be completely honest with you Bats, and take no offense to this, but what you and the other heroic chumps try to achieve is pathetic and a waste of your time" I let the words hang in the still air. Bats continues to gaze angrily in my wide eyes, unmoved by my statement.
"See," I begin, using hand gestures and expressions to get my point across, "you all believe in 'established order' and 'justice' and 'peace' and whatnot. And I admire what you try to achieve, I really do. I mean, who else would prance around in the night dressed as a rodent and fight to make sure everyone gets home safely? An upstanding citizen in their right mind like me would never be caught doing that! The thing your kind don't grasp is that what you all do is a joke. What's the point in protecting society when all they do is hate, discriminate, and complain? What's the point in dressing up to avenge the victims of Gotham when it will just go back to its old ways right as you sweep the mess up? No matter how many times you sweep the dust under the rug, it will still be there in the end. I'm not gone from reality, Bats! You are! The people of Gotham aren't afraid of me! They're afraid of you!"
"What you need to have is a sense of humor, Bats! It's the only thing you need! It's all quite funny really! All you need to do is open your mind and realize that this is all a joke! This city, what you do, what you stand for, what all this is, is one great big joke with a great big punchline! And do you know what that punchline is, Batsy?" I ask as a smile creeps on my face. I can see my lipstick covered lips in his heavy blue eyes and smile wider.
I slither steadily down to the Bat's pointed ears, ignoring the arms gripped tightly on my shirt, and give it a little poke with my index finger. I snicker at the touch and rub my ringed middle finger. I near where I suppose his ear is and whisper in a sincere manner of speaking, "You will still continue and try to fight in the name of justice, when deep down, you know that it will have no effect on the world, no matter how hard you don't want to believe it."
My laughter is clawing at the back of my throat but I hold it in for a little longer as I look back at the Bat's face to see how he reacts. My lips curl in as he says no words. He still sustains his scruffy pouting face and eyes filled with anger and lack of sleep. My eyes are about to pop out of my head. How funny would that be! I have tried, but I can't hold it in any longer.
Even after he's thrown me six feet and dirt has landed in my mouth, I am still wriggling on the ground in laughter. So predictable, that Bat is! My legs continue to kick and flail at the ground as I see he is still looking at the wall. I can tell I've hit a nerve, sparked a thought in his mind, put a cog back in its place to get the brain moving and thinking. If only I had a camera to photograph this moment!
"Tell me what's on your mind, Bats! Harley says that it's good to talk about your feelings!" I choke on my laughter as I roll over at the idea of me sitting cross-legged with a notebook pad and him reclined on a chair talking about his feelings. With someone as trouble as him, he's got to have some hilarious stories to tell!
Bats drags me by the foot moments later toward the entrance of the building I led him to. I'm still squirming with laughter as his grasp gets tighter as we walk along. From the way he's storming off, I can tell he's angry. He's probably doubting my words in his disturbed head over and over, praying to himself that I'm crazy! But am I really crazy? Who gets to decide that I'm a lunatic? Him? A psychiatrist who doesn't get the big picture?
"Where are you taking me, hmm? Are we going to fight crime together? Are you going to take me under your wing like you did that one boy? Oh, what's his name, Jimmy? Jacob? Whichever one's dead, you know who I'm talking about."
I can hear the low hum of his rat-mobile and can see the lights in my peripheral vision. I look up to the magical, starlit night sky and breathe in a breath of fresh air. The wind slowly brushes against my face and I close my eyes, smiling. I can feel Bats picking me up and fastening me into a seat intentionally too tight for my taste and a giggle escapes my smiling lips as he cuffs my hands and feet and closes the trunk of his vehicle. My laugh gradually gets louder and louder and the engine roars along to my harmonious cackling.
We drive into the night, with me chuckling, Bats driving, and I feel we are destined to do this again.