Disclaimer: I don't own General Hospital. This is purely for amusement, not any monetary gain.

Summary: Sam McCall thinks about how Jason makes her feel, and the hope he has given her.

Pairings: Jasam, mentions of Dream

Author's Note: I really don't like Jasam. They aren't my pairing at all, but this is a gift for Neo Lady Bianca who despite not liking Liason is doing a story for that couple—which is amazingly written, beautiful and managed to capture Liason in a way that feels true to their history—and for her to put that out there, to me is amazing. We all know the fanwar between Liason and Jasam, how ugly some people can be. People who are vile on social media or who come on to fanfic sites just to post nasty reviews to be rude and hurtful. The way Neo Lady Biance stepped up to combat such reviewers is brave and honestly this is the kind of way soap fans should act towards each other. Not to tear each other down, but be respectful to one another, accepting the fact that everyone has a right to ship what they love and not like certain characters. There is no universal truth when it comes to shows, we all walk away with something different. So to kind of give back to Neo Lady Bianca, I did a retrospective one shot from Sam's point of view on why her relationship with Jason is so special even after all this time.


In His Eyes, She is More

By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly


It wasn't that she hasn't ever loved anyone other than Jason Morgan.

There was a time she had thought she loved Sonny. A time when she genuinely thought she could love Lucky and Silas. John McBain had been in and out of her life before she could even figure out what she felt for the detective, and while she had come to love Patrick, her connection with Jason just eclipsed what she had with him. Maybe it was callous to say that, or to think that, especially given the fact that it turned out that the connection she was desperate to recapture with Jason. In the end, it hadn't been Jason at all, but his long lost twin brother, Drew.

She admits that her life had been up and down and sideways over the last two years, and now she sat there on the docks trying to sort it all out in her head. She turned over the phoenix and dragon statues in the palms of her hands, thinking about why she always came back to Jason. They had been good, they had been worse, but in the end, life always seemed to tug her back into his orbit. She had come to love Drew more than she had expected. He had been so different than Jason was, allowing her a glimpse at a different and safe life that she and Jason always wished that they could have had. It was a pipe dream all those years ago, both of them were too tied into crime and mob to walk away clean.

But for a split second, she had that with Drew.

And then Jason had come back, claiming his identity and changing so much.

She was married to Drew. She wanted to love him, and have a good life with him. It wasn't wrong to want those things, but in the same moment, Sam knew that she couldn't live with herself without knowing. She had to know if she had really moved on, or was just desperate to prove that she hadn't gravitated towards Drew just because back then everyone thought he was Jason.

Jason just had a way of seeing her. A way that no one else in the entire world saw her, and that mattered to her so much. When she had been nothing more than a conniving con-artist just trying to make a living and pregnant with Sonny's child, Jason and her didn't like each other in the beginning. In fact, they fought like cats and dogs. But somewhere along the line, she had softened and allowed him to see the vulnerable and broken woman who just wanted to live. Who just wanted to be loved, and suddenly in his eyes, she was more.

She wasn't evil, but a woman who learned to be too tough to be tender in order to survive.

She wasn't just a criminal, she was a person with thoughts and feelings.

She wasn't unlovable, but desirable and beautiful. Someone worthy to be loved and give love in return.

He let her into his heart, and that was a turning point in Sam's life. It hadn't been all peaches and roses, they had gone through ups and downs through many years. Had broken up, gotten back together, had been with other people, had hurt each other and had healed each other. When he died, a piece of her had died. He had been important to so many people and Port Charles was never the same without him. She had never been the same without him. She had moved onward, time didn't halt for morning and she had been in several relationships. Each special in their own way, but none that could replace the man who showed her how to love and that she was worth more than she gave herself away for.

In his eyes, she was more. Others—so many others—had found her lacking in some way or another. No matter how much bravado and brave front she put up, Sam McCall always felt the sting of rejection keenly. That constant feeling of not being enough and never measuring up, and Jason showed her that she was worthy more than the words whispered behind her back. He had given her a new lease on life. A life where she didn't have to sell her soul to get by, and in the end, he even gave her a beautiful baby boy.

Danny had been an unexpected gift. She knew that things hadn't been perfect when they thought Franco had raped her, and had been the father of her child. She knew that it was something that she had to speak to Jason about regardless of what path she chose from here on out. But Danny was something she never thought she would get to have. After building up her hopes with Lila and then the gunshot wound, she never dared to hope for a baby of her own.

She looked at Danny and saw so much of Jason in him. It killed her that Jason missed so much of his life. Seeing his first footsteps, hearing his first word, and so much more. Jason would get more time with Danny—and Jake, too—but it would never make up for the years lost. Could she make a happy life with Drew and not regret giving up on Jason? Could she tell herself that she hadn't hoped even when she had was with other people, that one day Jason would come back?

Sam gnawed on her lower lip, her eyes closed in mute despair.

She couldn't just let Jason walk away. She couldn't let all that love and history disappear without a fight. Jason had come back to find his entire life uprooted, and who knows what happened to him in the five years that he has been missing. She owed to herself and the love that they shared to be there for him through this all. She couldn't just let him figure this out alone. It wasn't like her to abandon the people that she loved, and she looked down at the wedding ring on her finger.

She knew that her decision—it would hurt Drew, and she hated herself for that. But she couldn't lie anymore. Her choices were hurting, or would hurt, everyone if she kept turning a blind eye to the truth.

But in her eyes, Jason was her everything.


END OF STORY!

I hope that this was a short and enjoyable piece for Jasam fans. They aren't my pairings, and I don't like them, but I like Sam enough, so I hope I did the pairing a bit of justice in this. This was a present to Neo Lady Bianca for her taking on writing Liason even though she is a Jasam fan, and kind of showing the rapport that I wish more fans had with each other regardless of pairings, favorite characters and such. I really believe that we can all get along and ignore the stans who always start fights. I have to say that I have had a genuinely better experience with Jasam fans on twitter in the last few months, nice and good people who I have had discussion with and we've all gotten along despite liking different things. So this is also a fic to kind of celebrate that, too.

RRs are reviewed.