My parody Mary Sue story I was going to have in my "Parodies Galore" fanfic, but decided to make it into a full blown story instead.

The characters are supposed to be meanspirited since in Mary Sue fanfics, the people the author doesn't like gets put down and...well here are the rules I'm going by at the bottom since some people don't get what this fanfic is doing.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were just sitting around doing nothing. No, I'm lying. Sasuke was the one sitting looking fresher than a motha fucka on a bench that was struggling to uphold the sexiness that was one of the two last remaining Uchiha's. Sakura was being her usual bitchy self because Naruto had just made a good point about why he called Sasuke a bastard, but Sakura's code of love demanded she stick up for "her" man. Unknown to her (even though it was pretty fucking obvious), Sasuke didn't fuck with pink haired 5 headed whores especially ones named after flowers.

"Aye yo, dumb asses!" Kakashi poofed in front of the three children. "I said AYE YO!"

"You forgot dumb asses," Sasuke reminded him while he studied his freshly manicured nails.

"Thanks, smart ass!" Sakura ignored them and continued to beat the shit outta Naruto. Kakashi, not giving a shit about Sakura's violence as usual, cleared his voice. "Anyways, Naruto, your ass is getting replaced."

"The fuck? OW!" He cried out as Sakura punched him in the stomach. "W-why?"

"Plot I mean uh my niece wants to be a ninja and since your ugly ass is KO-ing all the time, fuck outta here."

"Uh what?"

"Let me put it in terms you'll understand better," sighed Kakashi. "You're always getting your butt kicked, so you're getting replaced on the team until you hone your abilities more at the academy."

"WHAT?!"

"Makes sense with Naruto being the clumsy fool he is." said Sakura nodded as she crossed her arms. 'CHA! That's what I'm talking about! Now that he's outta the way, he's not blocking me from getting with Sasuke! See ya loser!'

Naruto was shocked this was happening to him. He was being sent back to the academy to learn more while some girl replaced him! Even worse, Sakura didn't even look upset about it! Made sense Sasuke wouldn't care because he was a prick and was always calling someone an idiot. He begged Kakashi to let him stay, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. He even groveled and as much as the jounin enjoyed it, he couldn't do it. The girl in question wasn't even his niece as he didn't even have a fucking brother or sister. She was holding his dogs hostage until she achieved her ultimate goal: getting some of that Uchiha ass. He wasn't going to give them any heads up about it and the only one he could save from the girl's wrath was Naruto.

"Sorry, but my mind's made up," said Kakashi in a 'that's final' voice. 'Trust me. I'm doing you a favor! You'll thank me later, I assure you. Consider yourself lucky you're not Sasuke or Sakura.'

"Kakashi, you suck butt!" Naruto tried saying a heartfelt good-bye with the promise to be back, but Sakura was already rubbing up against Sasuke and telling him how good it was being alone with him. "Uh I'm still here."

"Don't you have a class to get to?" Naruto called Sakura a bitch and took off running before another ass kicking could go down.

Bella, the beyond beautiful girl that would take 30 or more paragraphs to describe but the author was too lazy to do so, couldn't wait to meet her new team mates. She didn't think she was good enough to join any kind of ninja squad. However her uncle managed to convince her otherwise.

"You'd be perfect for the squad!" squealed her uncle like a stereotypical teenage girl. "Like OMG, girlfriend! Go for it!""R-really?" She blushed at the praise. She didn't think she was good enough to be on a squad with her uncle's group seeing as they had one of the Uchiha Clan. Surely he lived up to his family's name and his team mates were just as good or at least almost as good.

"For sure!" He grinned.

"But you can only have 3 students in a squad," she pointed out. "Besides, they've spent so much time together, a newcomer might be greeted with some hostility even if you can have an extra."

"Oh don't worry about that," said her uncle with a wave of his hand. "The person you're replacing is a total ninny and needs more training. I honestly think they let him graduate because they wanted to get rid of his annoying ass."

"I still don't know..." She sighed still debating on if she truly wanted to go through with this. On one hand they might not like her, but on the other hand she gets to work with Sasuke Uchiha! Imagine the things she'd learn from him!

"Just do it!" said Kakashi perfectly imitating the guy who made that saying popular."If you insist uncle Kaka."

"I do hope I'm not late!" She said to herself as she gracefully ran towards the train fields. When she arrived, she was nearly blinded by the sexy beast himself Might Gai. Gai was doing some blinded folded karate kicks and kicked her in the face.

"What did I hit?" Gai took off his blind fold and immediately got knocked on his right ass cheek.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" yelled Bella. "I'm walking here!"

"I'm sorry! I..."

"Do that again and I'll whoop your ass!" With that, she walked away furious. Stupid spandex wearing, bowl headed clown! After that moment, she made sure to keep an eye out for any other idiots roaming the fields.

After that pointless bit of the author hating on...I mean that bit of interaction with her uncle's rival, she finally found her team, only recognizing them because of her uncle standing nearby and them being around her age. Taking a deep breath, she nervously walked over to the team and gave them a shy smile.

"Um h-hello," She stammered. Sasuke just gave her a blank stare while Sakura looked her up and down unamused with what she was seeing. Of all the people to be on her team, why this bitch? Knowing good and well that unless she was a lesbian or asexual, any girl was a threat to the young teen and her love for the Uchiha.

"Hello," Sakura responded in a hostile tone as she put her hands on her hips. "And you are?"

"I-I'm the new squad mate!" she said noting the way Sakura looked at her. 'Did I do something?'

"You don't look like much," said Sakura narrowing her eyes at her.

"And neither does your chest,Flatzilla, " said Kakashi. "Now stop sipping on that haterade and be nice. I won't have you cat fighting without Naruto being here to bet on which one of you will lose or get a double knock out as well as a popcorn machine being on standby!"

"You have no room to be judging my chest, you perverted creep!" blushed Sakura taking great offense to her chest being insulted.

"Whatever, Sakura," he said rolling his eyes at her. "Now introduce yourself to Bella."

"Bella?" Sakura snorted. "Do you even japanese?"

"Say that again and I'll kick your ass," said Kakashi more irked by the phrase than her tone though it was pretty close in the running. "Anyways, go on. Sakura, you go first and stop the hating."

"Fine," she cleared her throat. "My name is Haruno Sakura and I'm the star girl on this team. I kick ass and take names and if you mess me, you're finished! What I like is..." Here her eyes darted over to Sasuke. "And my dreams for the future are..." She looked over at Sasuke again. "And what I hate is Naruto and people who get in the way of love!"

"That was pretty mean," said Bella. "What has he ever done to you?"

"He's an idiot! He always gets in the way and..."

"He trains more than you," pointed out Sasuke. "And I seem to remember him saving you a couple of times and cheering you on. As a matter of fact, he was the only one cheering you on."

"Uh well I um..."

"ANYWAYS onto you, Sasuke," interrupted Kakashi.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke and what I like is..." He paused for a minute. "And what I hate is..." Another unneeded pause. "What I want to do in the future is be the very best. The best there ever was!"

Before Sasuke could sing the Pokemon theme song, the pink haired ninja interrupted him. "Oh, Sasuke! You are the best!" She exclaimed as she rubbed on him.

"Get off me," he said through gritted teeth. She ignored him and continued to do so until Kakashi pulled her off of him.

"Bella, introduce yourself," said Kakashi as he held Sakura away from her crush.

"I'm Bella Hatake and..."

"It's supposed to be Hatake, Bella!" corrected Sakura.

"Did anyone tell your small titted ass to talk?!" snapped Kakashi.

"DON'T CALL ME...OW!" He had given her a hard pinch or at least that was what Sakura thought. Sasuke was the one who did it out of annoyance.

"U-um I uh..."

"Spit it out! OUCH! Stop doing that!"

"Shut the hell up then!" barked both males though in Sakura's brain it was just Kakashi.

"A-anyways," said Bella getting back to her life's story. "I like long walks, training, thinking about my dead clan, and I want to seek out the piggy faced bastard who did it! The only thing I know about him is that his name is Itachi."

This caught Sasuke's attention real quick. "Itachi..."

'So we have a common enemy,' he thought. 'I'm getting to him first though. Fuck sharing the kill! I kill alone!'

"Itachi?" said Sakura raising a brow at this. "You mean weasel?"

"He is a weasel in a metaphorical sense but it is its meaning."

"No shit, moron!" said Sakura.

"'Stop being such a cow, Sakura!" said Kakashi. "Now, let's get to training! First off, Sakura go work on your shield."

"Shield?"

"Yeah, your 5-head can handle a lot. If you learn to expand it a bit bigger than what it is, you can shield more than two of us!"

"Bite me!" She retorted. 'You think you're so funny, don't you? Keep talking that way and you'll know what true pain is, cha!'

"Fine. Then train with Bella," he said gesturing to the girl.

"Don't you think I would be better off training with Sasuke-kun?" she asked looking over at the Uchiha who was still staring off into space.

"Given that Sasuke's not even on your level and you and Bella are, you can bounce off each other and help each other."

"But it would be better to learn from someone higher."

"BUT Sasuke needs to train to get stronger, not weaker," Here Sakura glared at him and started to say that she wasn't, but he didn't allow her to do so. "I'll train with Sasuke. You work on whatever it is you do."

"But...!"

"Butts are for sitting, now run your little pink headed ass off somewhere."

Sakura mumbled underneath her breath and stormed off with Bella having to jog to catch up with her. When they had gone a ways off, Sakura told her to throw a punch. When the raven haired girl threw one, Sakura shook her head. "What?"

"You're doing it all wrong!" She exclaimed. "If you can't even punch the right way, how can you be a kunoichi?"

"I-I'm sorry," apologized Bella.

"Hm. Come on. Lemme show you," She threw a couple of punches. "Like that. Copy me."

Bella tried her best to imitate the other ninja, but she failed every time. Sakura made her do multiple punching drills until Sasuke told her it was time to go home. "Oh thank Kami-sama!" Bella said relieved.

Sasuke didn't say anything and just walked away. As she walked past her, she bumped into her before walking off after Sasuke, asking him if he wanted to hang out to which he replied for her to go away. Bella glared at her as she ran off with Sasuke. Sakura wanted to be a bitch. Fine then. Two could easily play that game. She was going to allow Miss Pinky the privilege of not getting her feelings hurt, but now it was on.

Rules:

Anyone who doesn't like the MS is an asshole and will be portrayed as such.

Unusual appendages such as wings or tails

Ability to master anything with ease- OC can easily master the most complicated of jutsu in an hour or less.

Ability to make every character instantly love

Babies r' Us Sue- Mary Sues simply hook up with one of the main characters of the opposite sex (and in some cases of the same sex) and have kids. Usually the woman/girl doesn't get called a whore except by the characters who hate her. She usually ends up breaking up with the other guy or guys and they take it REALLY bad.

Boobs: MS has got to have bigger boobs than anyone in the whole series.

Dark Past- murder, rape, kidnapping, and almost dying more than once, but somehow living without a good explanation besides luck.

Little Miss Super Goddess: MS is just born all-powerful and you have to accept it. They are always immortal or if they aren't, but they can't die like a normal person. Plus she has over 9000 super powers but no weaknesses. She can't be beat. A punch that nearly kills a character, barely even leaves a scratch on her. Her downfalls are only in flashbacks.

Jealous Bruh?: Everyone is jealous of this MS character. They all wanna be her or bang her…or both.

home-wrecker- Married? Got a girlfriend? Well MS doesn't give a shit. She'll take your man and your friends if you don't willingly give him over…or die first-

BFFs…after 5 seconds- For some reason, MS has the power to have characters become her best friends within seconds. That or they'll want to see her again soon because they miss her despite only speaking to her for only 4 seconds, although it feels like they've known each other for years.

Daughter of (insert main/minor canon character[s] here)- Mary Sue is the daughter of certain characters within the canon show.